Things you NEVER want to hear while having sex

R

RKB_Kirin

Virgin

Joined

May 10, 2016

Posts

20

• May 12, 2016

• #2,201

"Now your soul is mine."

That or "Bark like a puppy!"

 

W

Winterscumming

Literotica Guru

Joined

May 9, 2016

Posts

630

• May 13, 2016

• #2,202

"So I got back those test results..."

 

K

kismet999

Literotica Guru

Joined

Oct 14, 2015

Posts

835

• May 13, 2016

• #2,203

So, last month, I stole my sister's fertility drugs....

 

Jenny17

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jun 7, 2012

Posts

1,318

• May 13, 2016

• #2,204

It was good, but with your sister was much more better.

 

LIVINRFANTASIES

In a Cornfield Near You

Joined

Feb 25, 2016

Posts

11,156

• May 13, 2016

• #2,205

Denny

Jenny17 said:

It was good, but with your sister was much more better.

Click to expand...

Denny------------ Your mother was more fun.

 

F

FSUBasketball

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jun 12, 2008

Posts

3,420

• May 13, 2016

• #2,206

I knew you wouldn't be any good.

 

JKendallDane

Plot Bunny Herder

Joined

Jun 26, 2012

Posts

6,897

• May 13, 2016

• #2,207

Hot damn, Ma. It looks like little Susie Ann done snagged her a husband!



.

 

D

Delilah_Night

Experienced

Joined

May 9, 2016

Posts

51

• May 13, 2016

• #2,208

I I think I'm in labor!

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• May 13, 2016

• #2,209

Does this look normal to you?

 

SLS69

Really Experienced

Joined

Apr 30, 2016

Posts

158

• May 13, 2016

• #2,210

No I said put it all in!

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• May 15, 2016

• #2,211

What the hell is that?

 

N

Najesta

Really Really Experienced

Joined

May 29, 2013

Posts

431

• Jun 8, 2016

• #2,212

Ugh my dog just farted...

This happened to me once. I was like " are you fucking kidding me!?" How romantic and sexy...not.

 

Handley_Page

Draco interdum Vincit

Joined

Aug 18, 2007

Posts

78,192

• Jun 8, 2016

• #2,213

Is it in?

 

M

monanympho

Literotica Guru

Joined

Jan 23, 2016

Posts

1,039

• Jun 8, 2016

• #2,214

It's not getting up!

 

JKendallDane

Plot Bunny Herder

Joined

Jun 26, 2012

Posts

6,897

• Jun 8, 2016

• #2,215

Ya know, sex with you is almost as good as it is with the old ladies at the funeral home.

.

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Jun 10, 2016

• #2,216

Pause for a second, I need to go check something on Web MD.

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,217

Hah hah!

 

BattlingSoul

Literotica Guru

Joined

Dec 30, 2016

Posts

979

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,218

Have you been doing you kegels?

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,219

Where's that smell coming from?

 

Hard_Rom

Northumbrian Skald

Joined

Apr 24, 2014

Posts

13,623

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,220

"Yeah, I would like to order a pizza."

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,221

I made a big mistake.

 

loquere

Smile!

Joined

May 19, 2011

Posts

35,204

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,222

Die bitch die!

 

ChloeTzang

Literotica Guru

Joined

Apr 14, 2015

Posts

7,801

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,223

xianpeters said:

Pretty much, my nightmare is, "fuck, the condom broke!"

Click to expand...

Oh god, don't. I remember that one. With horror.

 

ChloeTzang

Literotica Guru

Joined

Apr 14, 2015

Posts

7,801

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,224

Hi honey, I'm home....oh!

 

Hypoxia

doesn't watch television

Joined

Sep 7, 2013

Posts

28,080

• Jan 7, 2017

• #2,225

"Okay guys, she's ready now."