just curious : gratification of being a dom

sereneone4u said:

Yes to each their own, although when a couple of submissives on the threads were talking about the fun to be had by willfully disobeying their Sirs and I was taken aback. I was all aghast and thinking why would you have a Sir to disobey him? Horrors!

I mean I am not a door mat by any means, I am an alpha sub. I am independent and take charge type of person in every day life. I naturally step up to the plate, I defend those weaker and have no issues with being assertive in many situations, even at times being aggressive.

However, when it comes to my Sir, I can be exquisitely submissive. *Cheshire grin* I know this because he told me so. Other times he says I am so alpha though, so I need to work on that. I don't mean to, it just comes out.

Back to the topic at hand, I do often wonder what gratification a Dom/Domme gets from the dynamic, it seems like so much work on their end. But then my Dom is a pleasure Dom and I feel very spoiled.

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Lost_God said:

If I may....

I don't enjoy brats. (That declaration felt absurdly necessary.) I'm simply not that sort of Dominant. Forcing someone to do something doesn't really get me off. And in the vein of the initial post, I suppose part of the thrill of being a Dominant is psychological, some of it is sexual. There's not line in the sand precluding either from being part of the Dominant experience. For me, the psychological thrill lies in the tease, the.... seduction. Not the bending over the knee and spanking. There's very little pleasure for me to be had there. Punishment, humiliation, sadism, not so much.

As described by a previous poster in slightly different words, it's watching my submissive slip tighter and tighter into my grasp, of her own free will. Dragging her kicking and screaming is no fun at all. But watching those soft whispered words (or those firm grips when necessary) take effect is 90% of the fun. One of my absolute favourite things to do with my submissive is to simply coax her into admitting her submission. To seduce her into submission, and to hear from her own lips the things she says to me when she's my primal little animal.

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bi_sub_lady_doc said:

I have always been very interested to know about the psychology of a dom.I mean, is this a sexual pleasure or just a psychological pleasure to dominate one? this question is particularly significant in case of virtual D/s relation, how can a master/mistress get fun when their subs follow their orders?well, I know that making one follow orders provides a sense of power ( i do believe that brain is the biggest sexual organ) .but then, roughly handling partner's body & making her follow orders are two different things according to me.I myself has come across different individuals who were very eager to dominate me.when I informed them that I am not a natural sub, rather they have to confront me first, all of them shied away.most of them admitted that they were not doms in real.They were just trying to vent their personal frustration out on me by using my masochist fantasies.
I have a few more questions to add to.does a dom is a dom in his real life?do doms just enact their roll to please their partners only or do they get real pleasure in torturing/humiliating?
I am not a sub but I do enjoy being forced to expose to stranger women, enthralling adventures per se.my fun lies in humiliation (not torture ) at hand of other women, obviously within the level of viability.all these started at my teenage when i was blackmailed by my female maid.she never made me serve her, she never got herself undressed.she used to touch me very rarely.her fun lied in humiliating & exposing me ( well at a later stage when i found out that I am a masochist, i started to enjoy my humiliation at her hands). it is quite obvious that her pleasure was complete psychological, kinda revenge sort of thing.obviously none of us were aware of bdsm at that age.

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