Fantasy Adventure Romance Updated

The latest part of my Stones of Incienda has been uploaded. Feedback is very much appreciated because it gives me an extra incentive to keep going.

https://www.literotica.com/s/stones-of-incienda-ch-01-pt-04

I'm guessing you've already noticed the 'death ears" where you obviously meant "deaf ears" at the beginning of the paragraph that follows the first bit of dialogue

Unfortunately, her words fell on death ears as the two princes started to compare their kingdoms as they have done in the past.

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Also, should be "had done in the past."

Knowing the young woman's pride, Aamir carefully helped her up, but didn't let go of her. It took Inaya a minute to regain herself. She looked and saw Cyrus had gone off and wondered where he went to so quickly.

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On this part, you kind of skip from Aamir's POV (he knows the young woman's pride) to inaya's POV. I think you need to choose, and I would recommend going with Inaya's POV:....."With Aamir's help, Inaya....." Something along those lines.

You use a lot of -ing verbs in this story. If or when you rewrite, I'd recommend that you replace a good number of them. It's also a habit to keep an eye out for in the future.

Out of time now, but I'll probably come back to this later.

Aloha