Companion to the 5 Senses Challenge

hehehe
I know I had walked away from the screen for a moment in the middle of writing, but hadn't realized I'd spent so long that I got jumped in posting...gonna hafta watch out fer dat more.

:cool:

You gave me a laugh because I tried to get my daughter to give me the cues for the last one I posted. She was lame though. However, I did get roundly defeated in "family rap battle by SMS " by my stepson, so maybe I should have asked him instead.
 
katie is the main reason I keep posting my crap I can't wait to see what she puts up next, then you get a desjo, or remec pop up with something as well. remarkable is the correct adjective Harry.
 
Walking

katie is the main reason I keep posting my crap I can't wait to see what she puts up next, then you get a desjo, or remec pop up with something as well. remarkable is the correct adjective Harry.
..
I hear ya tod the last post is very nice too remec you have the senses working overtime.
 
Thanks for the very high praise, Tod!

Remec, l really liked the tone of your last poem. I especially liked this image,
"pieces of her uniform and his piled
side-by-side, never mingling, very
much the way their bodies would
soon be piled together but still mostly
just doing their own thing..."
 
To Katie
Maybe I'm just that easy to plese ;)
Your first date poem had me in stitches, I think I may have been that guy once.....

The poem you quoted of Remecs just the right amount of direction for a quickie I loved it too

what is it about this particular challenge does every one feel gives way to such great poetry?
 
Tavern, to tavern*

Nice one harry, could practica;\lly feel the wind and rain drops, and roar of the bike.
 
I liked 'Just a Job" Remec. l especially liked,

' ...I tap out a
sign of the Cross against my forehead

"Bless me, Father, for I am about to sin,"
I say before finishing up the evening's..."

I have a question though and I feel like my imagination and personal prejudice are interfering in the poem. Did he kill the priest? Or does he actually value the priests absolution and is just heading out to sin again? Sorry for being a pain in the ass and I should say I only have questions when a poem engages me and I think it's good. :)
 
I liked 'Just a Job" Remec. l especially liked,

' ...I tap out a
sign of the Cross against my forehead

"Bless me, Father, for I am about to sin,"
I say before finishing up the evening's..."

I have a question though and I feel like my imagination and personal prejudice are interfering in the poem. Did he kill the priest? Or does he actually value the priests absolution and is just heading out to sin again? Sorry for being a pain in the ass and I should say I only have questions when a poem engages me and I think it's good. :)

I think that secondary reading works well and is just as valid...minus any indication from me otherwise...as assuming he shot the priest.

That was, I think, what had originally crossed my mind, but perhaps I left it vague subconsciously.

I'm glad you liked it. I think I'm going to rework it a tweak or so before submitting it.


:cool:
 
I think that secondary reading works well and is just as valid...minus any indication from me otherwise...as assuming he shot the priest.

That was, I think, what had originally crossed my mind, but perhaps I left it vague subconsciously.

I'm glad you liked it. I think I'm going to rework it a tweak or so before submitting it.


:cool:

Captured my imagination and put me in the poem so that's always a good thing. It was only after reading the poem that I realized how much I had put myself in the poem and that you hadn't really said one way or the other exactly what happened. I liked that and normally I'd never get to know an author's intention but I was lucky enough to get to ask you.


Thanks for the kind words on #512 (I should put more effort into finding titles), nonfiction! :)
 
Last two lines of 'Just Want a Drink' are clever, Tod.

I liked this line too,

"...but the rattle of deceit."

Rattle has great appeal to the senses. When I was reading I was picturing the guy looking at the woman and assessing her lack of truthfulness with regard to money and making a list of things in his mind that proved she was lying.

It would be interesting if you could connect 'the rattle of deceit' to something more concrete on her person. Perhaps the rattle of deceit comes from 'a series of silver and gold bracelets or bangles' on her arm.

Just a thought!
 
I didn't see this till just now. thank you for the feedback, Katie I might take a look at editing it.
 
Yummy poem and I do admire how you put the triggers together. I haven't had tequila shots in a while... Makes me think my next weekend off will be a little Cabo Wabo time.

I have no idea where that poem came from in me since I've never tried Houdini's handcuff trick. I like taking the list of senses the previous writer left and take my poem as far away from what they had set up. If I go along with their subtle theme, it's more their poem than it is mine. Then again I'm a little twisted and dirty too. I did sub that poem today.
 
I have no idea where that poem came from in me since I've never tried Houdini's handcuff trick. I like taking the list of senses the previous writer left and take my poem as far away from what they had set up. If I go along with their subtle theme, it's more their poem than it is mine. Then again I'm a little twisted and dirty too. I did sub that poem today.
I'll have to visit it on your page in a day or two, then. Did you notice that I've found a few more paintings lurking about and stuck them in my retro thread? I look for them for you after all. :p
 
I'll have to visit it on your page in a day or two, then. Did you notice that I've found a few more paintings lurking about and stuck them in my retro thread? I look for them for you after all. :p

I didn't know that. And I'll try to save face and pretend I know what thread you mean. :eek:
 
To Desjo, that piece was so heartfelt and emotionally wrenching I almost wept. hope all is well
 
Thank you todski. I'm fine, just jet lagged and in major caffeine withdrawal. To add to my woes there was no tea in the house!!
 
Wow! What an excellent take on the cues in this one, todski. Love this poem, it really captures the emotions and yes, you show and avoid 'tell' in the vignette. Bravo!
 
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