That swinging feeling

A discussion the GF and I have every now and then is about why would people swing. Now no matter the answers I come up with to this idea it never seems to get her to the "Oh I see" realization.
The Ex and I were in the LS for a few years and had some great times. Even after it was all said and done she still said those were some good memories.
I am not attempting to get the GF to swing. I know you can't tell someone or ask or convince them. You can just let the natural lust build and fantasies grow and if they want then they will if they trust in the relationship they are in.
The thing is she brings up the question so the curiosity is there. I've told her it's a great thing to watch your lover, partner and friend in life having a great time. To hear her cum from a fling with a guy that turns her on is an intense pleasure. Who doesn't want their partner to enjoy life and have a good time? The Ex used to always bring up this one time where an older woman gave me a BJ I still get weak in the knees from. We enjoyed the fun and we fucked like crazed rabbits every time we got home from a party or couples date.

****** I am hoping to get thoughts from other swingers who can put into words the feelings they have about sharing their partners and pleasure with others. *******

My husband and I were kind of made for each other. We knew early on in our relationship that we were one of those rare, meant-for-each-other couples. We also knew that I had a high sex drive and a bit of a past, and he kept urging me to continue in that way. So, after a particular incident, we signed up for a swinger site.

So, to answer your question, we entered swinging as a purely sexual pursuit; however, it has become a tremendous source of intimacy between my husband and I. It is like a huge secret, that only he and I know, and it is so naughty.

We were once introduced to a guy at a formal party of civic leaders. We shook hands and gave our polite greetings and he stood with us in a group discussing current events. But the truth was - we already knew him. He and I had been "dating," and about two weeks earlier he had given me a good thrashing. Just standing there in that group with the three of us knowing that naughty secret - it was so hot!

Hmmmm the naughty secret.

When I first met my husband in the late 80s I was bisexual and one of the discussions we had early on initially was I was willing to be singly devoted to one man but I did not want to give up my need for other women. He understood and accepted. For the first couple of years we had a number of threesomes with other ladies. After several years, at his urging we did expand into MFM and then attended our first swinger party. Some years later at my urging he explored his bi curious side and we have found that to be intensely hot as well.

We may be a rarity in that we both are able to separate the devotion to each other from our sexual interests with other partners. Not every marriage is suited for this. Swinging is something both partners must be in full agreement with for it to work.

bibethhotwet said:

Not every marriage is suited for this. Swinging is something both partners must be in full agreement with for it to work.

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There I would have to agree. I have started to wonder if e go about the dating/finding a person all wrong. I keep reading about people who are not happy with how they are treated or how much they get at home. There is a cheating web site that is full of women looking for a fling and so many have the same reason.

We should almost set out to find the right sexual partner who fits with all the other stuff: likes to: Garden, camp, read and so on.

littlecordelera said:

My husband and I were kind of made for each other. We knew early on in our relationship that we were one of those rare, meant-for-each-other couples. We also knew that I had a high sex drive and a bit of a past, and he kept urging me to continue in that way. So, after a particular incident, we signed up for a swinger site.

So, to answer your question, we entered swinging as a purely sexual pursuit; however, it has become a tremendous source of intimacy between my husband and I. It is like a huge secret, that only he and I know, and it is so naughty.

We were once introduced to a guy at a formal party of civic leaders. We shook hands and gave our polite greetings and he stood with us in a group discussing current events. But the truth was - we already knew him. He and I had been "dating," and about two weeks earlier he had given me a good thrashing. Just standing there in that group with the three of us knowing that naughty secret - it was so hot!

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I can relate to this, my ex and I have been in similar circumstances. Hot!

Years ago I was in a relationship with a woman that wanted to try swinging. Well we joined a swingers website and met a few people, and then went to a club and met some more. Well one night we got to know this couple rather well, and decided that this was the couple for us, and we swapped. Great night all around, however the other couple had decided that they had a thing for my girlfriend and not for me. So they had a 3 some, and I got left out to find my own fun, which I did, and that was great too, but my girlfriend at the time started to have an issue with me playing on my own. Long story short, that relationship ended, because she did not trust me, but it was supposed to be fine that she could go play with this other couple.

As a single guy, that has a few lady friends that are willing to explore things with me, it has been great. It has strengthened some relationships, and it has ended others. If it ends it is not meant to be.

Good Luck