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vrosej10 said:
Thanks twelveoone. A Great Age is a problem child. Heavily worked but still not quite getting there. I love the damn poem but it resists fixing. I think it might be a 'murder your darlings' sitch.
Click to expand...

Hey, I like you. You're not shy when it comes to work. Go check out what we did with your simple porn in sunday clothes

Now, it's your title, it's your turn....
 
Thank you twelveone and bflagsst for the really interesting comments on "The Anti-Beatitudes". I am really very grateful and have enjoyed your joust.
 
Thank you vrosej10 for the lovely and humbling comment on my poem "Emptying the Attic". I am really touched. And I apologise--the double-spacing is not my intention but some glitch in my software which I am trying to fix. :rose::rose:x10
 
PoetGuy thanks twelveoone for mentioning the poem "Joe Surrealism in Love" on the recommendations thread and thanks him and vrosej10 for their comments. In reading the poem again, he tends to side more with Vee's "hmmm," than not, thinking that he perhaps strained a tendon trying to stretch his style on that poem.

Poet Guy would also like to offer holiday felicitations, whatever one's chosen holiday might be, to the Literotica poet community. May you all be blessed in the love of your families and friends, and may you all score some excellent foodstuffs and gifts as well.

Namaste.
 
Thanks twelveoone for the recommend on Odette from Odessa. I liked that one myself. Once We Were the Same Age was just written as therapy. It's me whining about my life (actual facts in the poem), so fair call the other one is better.
 
yeh, yeh, thanks an all that.
My apologies to poetguy, tristess2 and vrose10 for not saying more in the recommendations - I was pressed for time, and I was afraid they would just slip by.
the quality of stuff in the recent week has been amazing - it is nice to see that again
:rose::rose::rose:
 
vrosej10--I have to thank you again for the recommendation, even though you frankly said you didn't get the poem! I love that:) It is merely a descriptive poem of the photos of an Anglo-French household quivering between youth and decrepitude as I watch lives blink out and others replace them. Thank you for your ongoing kindness. :rose:
 
Thanks 12o1 for the mention of "What Would Jesus the Criminal Say?" and, yes, given the comments, the last stanza was a bit obscure.
 
twelveoone said:
BTW, it was my pleasure, but what in the hell was the last stanza about?
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The death penalty.

Edited stanza:


But Monday through Friday nine to five
Incinerate trash behind prison walls
Whatever the cost to justify lies
We tell ourselves in our sanctified halls.
 
bronzeage said:
As far as I know, all US states have discontinued its use. Once people accepted the fact it was neither painless or quick, it was only a matter of time.
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greenmountaineer may get a better poem if he has Jesus getting bored to death in an office, responding to CYA*memos
Cover your ass
which a goodly amount of time is spent, either drafting or responding
How ungodly
but it brings up the beauty of cut & paste
you can spend years responding with someone else's' reply
See folks there's a trick to everything

Next week how to extend your 15 minute breaks to 30
 
Vr
re: Susurrus by live4passion.
I concur with Poet Guy
I perhaps would have been a bit blunter
both a little too florid, too overdone
 
twelveoone said:
greenmountaineer may get a better poem if he has Jesus getting bored to death in an office, responding to CYA*memos
Cover your ass
which a goodly amount of time is spent, either drafting or responding
How ungodly
but it brings up the beauty of cut & paste
you can spend years responding with someone else's' reply
See folks there's a trick to everything

Next week how to extend your 15 minute breaks to 30
Click to expand...

Death by a thousand paper cuts is not the stuff of martyrs.
 
Thanks guys,

To all those who posted on my poem, Before He Was Him; I was trying to go for a piece about age but I think you lot are right that might have taken too long to get to my point or been too obscure. i am kind of in love with that poem and I think that clouded my judgement a bit. Thanks for giving me a boot up the butt.
 
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vrosej10 said:
Thanks guys,

To all those who posted on my poem, Before He Was Him; I was trying to go for a piece about age but I think you lot are right that might have taken too long to get to my point or been too obscure. i am kind of in love with that poem and I think that clouded my judgement a bit. Thanks for giving me a boot up the butt.
Click to expand...
thanks for buying me the boots
I hope you don't mind
I took the spurs off
 
fridayam said:
Thank you to twelveone for starting 2011 for me in the nicest possible way.
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Well I didn't exactly rave, but it was the best. There is something that bothers me. It is a slight timing difference, and expectations of where it should go. Then I remembered you're from the UK. I'm hearing countryside. That changes everything!
Best wishes! Look forward to more!
 
Tanks for the recommend on Raspberry Delight. It is just a bit off fun and nonsense but I loved the way it sounded.
 
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