How to Find Older Women

MikeD93 said:

I dont really want kids, and females my age dont know good wine, they dont read or carry an.intellectual conversation. They think Applebees is high end. Im looking for the better things.

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What you have described is not age related. I know enough 'older' (I despise that term) people who cannot carry an intelligible conversation, let alone an intelligent one, who has no appreciation for wine, who thinks that the local fast food franchise is gourmet dining as I know many young adults who attends the opera, can discuss the nuances between Monet and Toulouse, know the difference between the various forks and displays impeccable Central-Continental table manners.

Age has nothing to do with what you have described, but rather personal tastes and likes. By the time I was 20, I knew more than enough about wine, I have travelled on my own, was fortunate enough to be able to eat and attend functions at high establishments, and I was intelligent enough to carry on conversations with people who had multiple PhDs. *shrugs* YKMV.

fire_breeze said:

What you have described is not age related. I know enough 'older' (I despise that term) people who cannot carry an intelligible conversation, let alone an intelligent one, who has no appreciation for wine, who thinks that the local fast food franchise is gourmet dining as I know many young adults who attends the opera, can discuss the nuances between Monet and Toulouse, know the difference between the various forks and displays impeccable Central-Continental table manners.

Age has nothing to do with what you have described, but rather personal tastes and likes. By the time I was 20, I knew more than enough about wine, I have travelled on my own, was fortunate enough to be able to eat and attend functions at high establishments, and I was intelligent enough to carry on conversations with people who had multiple PhDs. *shrugs* YKMV.

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Well i do like their looks too, little saggy. Hard to explain. Their hands look nice little wrinkles from lots of work. Boobs sag a bit.

To each her own, but I'm 39 and can't imagine seriously dating a guy who's 21, for the reasons mentioned by SweetErika above -- we might have fun going to a movie, going to a hockey game, rolling around in bed, but no matter how mature/well-lived the 21yo, I think after a few months, the different places in our lives would just be too much.

And, at 39, I know I'm on the edge of my biological clock unticking. He could swear up and down he doesn't want kids, but I know what that really means is he doesn't want kids now and he's not in a place to look 5 years down the road and see that he might change his mind. Of course, any person in a relationship could change his/her mind about something that effectively ends the relationship, but at 44ish, I wouldn't be in a position to compromise on this particular thing. (Adoption, yes, but it's expensive and such.)

With all of that said, if you want to pursue older women -- and you're looking for more than just a fuck -- I'd say it's a lot like meeting any other woman you'd want to date -- common interests. And then tailor those places to where you'd be likely to meet older women. Like to have an adult beverage? Hit up wine bars/tastings, craft beer shops/tastings, etc. If you like to read, then the coffee shop in your local Barnes & Noble/bookstore might be a good place to hang out, make eye contact, strike up a conversation. If you like to cook, then maybe fancier grocery stores -- Fresh Market, Whole Foods, etc. -- especially if they have dining, especially at lunch.

You could also look for Meetup groups that attract a variety of ages -- movie groups, singles groups, etc. Keep an eye out for the events that older women often attend. Not only will the Meetup event be a potentially good place to meet them, but the what/where may also give you an idea of where to find older women even when there's not a specific Meetup event.

If you're looking for just a fuck, Craigslist and Adult Friend Finder, I guess?

khlarrissa said:

To each her own, but I'm 39 and can't imagine seriously dating a guy who's 21, for the reasons mentioned by SweetErika above -- we might have fun going to a movie, going to a hockey game, rolling around in bed, but no matter how mature/well-lived the 21yo, I think after a few months, the different places in our lives would just be too much.

And, at 39, I know I'm on the edge of my biological clock unticking. He could swear up and down he doesn't want kids, but I know what that really means is he doesn't want kids now and he's not in a place to look 5 years down the road and see that he might change his mind. Of course, any person in a relationship could change his/her mind about something that effectively ends the relationship, but at 44ish, I wouldn't be in a position to compromise on this particular thing. (Adoption, yes, but it's expensive and such.)

With all of that said, if you want to pursue older women -- and you're looking for more than just a fuck -- I'd say it's a lot like meeting any other woman you'd want to date -- common interests. And then tailor those places to where you'd be likely to meet older women. Like to have an adult beverage? Hit up wine bars/tastings, craft beer shops/tastings, etc. If you like to read, then the coffee shop in your local Barnes & Noble/bookstore might be a good place to hang out, make eye contact, strike up a conversation. If you like to cook, then maybe fancier grocery stores -- Fresh Market, Whole Foods, etc. -- especially if they have dining, especially at lunch.

You could also look for Meetup groups that attract a variety of ages -- movie groups, singles groups, etc. Keep an eye out for the events that older women often attend. Not only will the Meetup event be a potentially good place to meet them, but the what/where may also give you an idea of where to find older women even when there's not a specific Meetup event.

If you're looking for just a fuck, Craigslist and Adult Friend Finder, I guess?

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Thank you for your input. Im just trying to find my way. now question as 39 year old how would you feel if someone walked up to you. Would I seem innocent and you not think that im interested? like at what put does it become oh he is cute to hey lets grab a meal?

Y'know, as I was typing my response above, I was sitting here trying to think, "But, K, if a 21yo approached you, would you take him seriously?" And I honestly don't know. And I'm attracted to younger guys!

So pursuing something online -- Match, CL, etc. -- might actually be the best way. You can put out there what you're looking for and find someone who's looking for you, too. I could see that it made get you from Point A to Point B faster than going the offline route would.

The one thing I didn't think to mention before is that I'd be worried a 21yo would see me as a Sugar Momma. Not that I'm wealthy, but I'm doing OK and when I think about where I was at 21 (and what my success now would look like to me then), I'd definitely think I was doing well! But there could be women who wouldn't care -- I'm just not well off enough to be someone's Sugar Momma.

And I should also mention that while I'm not at all opposed to dating for fun, my ultimate goal is to find someone to spend my life with. There could easily be other women who don't have that goal and would just be glad to enjoy the relationship for however long it lasts and if he changes his mind about kids, well, it was fun while it lasted. (Not to say those women are desperate for someone to date -- they just may have a different relationship goal than I do.)

khlarrissa said:

Y'know, as I was typing my response above, I was sitting here trying to think, "But, K, if a 21yo approached you, would you take him seriously?" And I honestly don't know. And I'm attracted to younger guys!

So pursuing something online -- Match, CL, etc. -- might actually be the best way. You can put out there what you're looking for and find someone who's looking for you, too. I could see that it made get you from Point A to Point B faster than going the offline route would.

The one thing I didn't think to mention before is that I'd be worried a 21yo would see me as a Sugar Momma. Not that I'm wealthy, but I'm doing OK and when I think about where I was at 21 (and what my success now would look like to me then), I'd definitely think I was doing well! But there could be women who wouldn't care -- I'm just not well off enough to be someone's Sugar Momma.

And I should also mention that while I'm not at all opposed to dating for fun, my ultimate goal is to find someone to spend my life with. There could easily be other women who don't have that goal and would just be glad to enjoy the relationship for however long it lasts and if he changes his mind about kids, well, it was fun while it lasted. (Not to say those women are desperate for someone to date -- they just may have a different relationship goal than I do.)

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I make good money and have been paying my bills since i was 16 so i dont want a sugar momma. But ill try match.com also since i cook professionally so i know how to work on a budget. Plus romance is about thought not money

MikeD93 said:

Well i do like their looks too, little saggy. Hard to explain. Their hands look nice little wrinkles from lots of work. Boobs sag a bit.

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What a charmer. Would you also wish for them to tuck you in at night, stroke your brow and sing Soft Kitty to you?

Maybe you are just fulfilling a fantasy of being initiated into the realm of the love goddess through writing about this? Does it make you all hot'n'bothered reading and contributing to all these threads and fantasies here at Literotica?

Just think about it, you could sit at the children's table at xmas dinner. Do a spot of baby sitting and take her son out to a ball game. You could be naughty and sneak a beer together before heading back to her home to be both scolded for being out late.

How do you think you are stacking up here? After all you have now put yourself on display. Many here will have now read your post history just to check out what you are offering. Maybe if they put gaffa tape over your mouth, you may score a fuck or two but I would suggest a mature adult may like a little more maturity for a lasting relationship. In the end it is about compatibility, does your list of Trivial Pursuit facts and the ability to boil an egg really cut it?

You will be judged by your posting history here with opinions formed. Just remember an older person has a lot more life experience to evaluate you against. How will you be judged in the world beyond Literotica? Will your limited life experience be compatible with a woman who could be the same age as your mother?

NightL said:

What a charmer. Would you also wish for them to tuck you in at night, stroke your brow and sing Soft Kitty to you?

Maybe you are just fulfilling a fantasy of being initiated into the realm of the love goddess through writing about this? Does it make you all hot'n'bothered reading and contributing to all these threads and fantasies here at Literotica?

Just think about it, you could sit at the children's table at xmas dinner. Do a spot of baby sitting and take her son out to a ball game. You could be naughty and sneak a beer together before heading back to her home to be both scolded for being out late.

How do you think you are stacking up here? After all you have now put yourself on display. Many here will have now read your post history just to check out what you are offering. Maybe if they put gaffa tape over your mouth, you may score a fuck or two but I would suggest a mature adult may like a little more maturity for a lasting relationship. In the end it is about compatibility, does your list of Trivial Pursuit facts and the ability to boil an egg really cut it?

You will be judged by your posting history here with opinions formed. Just remember an older person has a lot more life experience to evaluate you against. How will you be judged in the world beyond Literotica? Will your limited life experience be compatible with a woman who could be the same age as your mother?

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No i dont want to be babied. I may be 21 but i have been through alot. Ive been homeless sleeping in my car for months. Taking baths in public swimming pools because they have showers. Shaving in gas station bathrooms. My parents never paid for anything and ive been paying my stuff since i was 16. When i tell people my age that kind of stuff they feel bad but i know they cannot relate. I want someone with life experience. Who has had real crappy days that have led into weeks into months. Ive sent girls my age packages at work and then have them cheat. Im not saying all young girls are horrible. I want someone with experience. You see wrinkles or crows feet but i see times of stress and getting through it. Ive watched my mom get mistreated by my dad. Countless times ive heard her say dont be like your father. I always took her out and bought her coffee. Im a very loving person. Sure i know a lot of facts, but i want her to see more than that. Ive had to grow up quick and i want someone who can relate. Heck ive even been to parent teacher conferences for my cousins because their mom is busy. I basically tutored my sisters and make them breakfast and drove them to school.since my dad worked the night shift. Im 21 but i dont feel it

MikeD93 said:

No i dont want to be babied. I may be 21 but i have been through alot. Ive been homeless sleeping in my car for months. Taking baths in public swimming pools because they have showers. Shaving in gas station bathrooms. My parents never paid for anything and ive been paying my stuff since i was 16. When i tell people my age that kind of stuff they feel bad but i know they cannot relate. I want someone with life experience. Who has had real crappy days that have led into weeks into months. Ive sent girls my age packages at work and then have them cheat. Im not saying all young girls are horrible. I want someone with experience. You see wrinkles or crows feet but i see times of stress and getting through it. Ive watched my mom get mistreated by my dad. Countless times ive heard her say dont be like your father. I always took her out and bought her coffee. Im a very loving person. Sure i know a lot of facts, but i want her to see more than that. Ive had to grow up quick and i want someone who can relate. Heck ive even been to parent teacher conferences for my cousins because their mom is busy. I basically tutored my sisters and make them breakfast and drove them to school.since my dad worked the night shift. Im 21 but i dont feel it

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I read mother and entitlement issues. Try to read your last post as if you were someone else other than yourself.

Ive sent girls my age packages at work and then have them cheat.

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Seriously??? What were these packages supposed to entitle you to?

You are a 21 year old who has faced hardships and is still overcoming them. Being weary, confused, tired and angry does not make you wise beyond your years. How you combat and overcome those issues is what will develop maturity and maybe gain you respect, even from women your own age.

Finding a loving nurturing older woman will not erase your past. Finally, will a woman who wishes for a lasting relationship with someone half her age be mature herself?

NightL said:

I read mother and entitlement issues. Try to read your last post as if you were someone else other than yourself.

Seriously??? What were these packages supposed to entitle you to?

You are a 21 year old who has faced hardships and is still overcoming them. Being weary, confused, tired and angry does not make you wise beyond your years. How you combat and overcome those issues is what will develop maturity and maybe gain you respect, even from women your own age.

Finding a loving nurturing older woman will not erase your past. Finally, will a woman who wishes for a lasting relationship with someone half her age be mature herself?

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Packages dont entitle anything. But it sucks going above and beyond for someone and not having them at least be loyal. I am not mad im actually very happy. Living in my car made me appreciate things in life more. I learned the value of a simple convo. That people dont owe you anything and not to get mad because people have lives too and stuff they have to deal with that i dont know. I volunteer and help people out. Im still growing yes i know. And honestly in reference to her being mature. I dont know. There are a plethora of possibilities for why she prefers a younger man that doesnt have to do with maturity but rather preference. However that is something i cant worry about. I have to ensure im the best person i can be for when i do meet her.

MikeD93 said:

I dont really want kids, and females my age dont know good wine, they dont read or carry an.intellectual conversation. They think Applebees is high end. Im looking for the better things.

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It makes me wonder where, and to what type of female you've been looking, because as the lovely Breezy pointed out, the characteristics you claim to be seeking aren't necessarily a function of age; airheads exist in all age ranges.

At 20, I was a full fledged bookworm, and being a former debate geek, could hold my own on a diverse range of topics. I didn't know much about wine, but I was willing to try new things. At 44, I'm still no wine connoiseur, and TBH I could really care less about what the wine critics have to say. If I like the wine, I buy it. If not, it stays on the shelf.

MikeD93 said:

When i tell people my age that kind of stuff they feel bad but i know they cannot relate.

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While I could empathize, I wouldn't be able to identify with your particular hardships, either. I've had my own challenges to deal with, but I've been fortunate enough that I've never been homeless.

MikeD93 said:

Packages dont entitle anything. But it sucks going above and beyond for someone and not having them at least be loyal.

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You do realize that can happen with anyone, regardless of age, yes?

khlarrissa said:

He could swear up and down he doesn't want kids, but I know what that really means is he doesn't want kids now and he's not in a place to look 5 years down the road and see that he might change his mind.

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This.

khlarrissa said:

To each her own, but I'm 39 and can't imagine seriously dating a guy who's 21, for the reasons mentioned by SweetErika above -- we might have fun going to a movie, going to a hockey game, rolling around in bed, but no matter how mature/well-lived the 21yo, I think after a few months, the different places in our lives would just be too much.

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And this.

The journey you undertake with someone is just as important as the destination. Maintaining a healthy relationship when you're starting from the same place can be challenging enough on it's own. When you don't start from the same place, age related issues can throw additional spanners into the works.

First, where you are in your career has the potential to have a huge impact on your relationship. That 40-50 year old woman might be looking to retire in 15 to 20 years, whereas you'll still likely be at least a couple of additional decades off before you can even begin to think about that.

Secondly, if the woman in question has grown children, there's a chance you'll become a step-grandparent while you're in your 30's. You might think I'm kidding, but I know someone this happened to. He's ok with it now, but it took him awhile to adjust to being called "grandpa" while he was still young enough to have kids of his own.

Third, women in 40-50 year age range quite often end up being caregivers for their elderly parents. It's a difficult, wearying, and sometimes thankless job, that can often put a strain on an otherwise healthy relationship.

Last, huge gaps in age also mean there's a good chance you'll face declining health issues in your partner much sooner than you would with someone closer to your own age. The same man I mention above is now 45, while his wife is 65. He's in the prime of his life, while she's dealing with the after affects of a stroke. He loves her, and there is no question that he supports her, but it does limit the things they can do. I do realize health problems can be an issue at any age, but generally speaking, they become more frequent and pronounced as we age.

I'm not saying younger men/older women relationships can't work, Mike. I personally know of two couples who've made it long term (7 years, and 15 years respectively). I'm just saying you should carefully consider what you could possibly signing on for if you're determined to become involved in a long term, romantic relationship with a much older woman.

bailadora said:

It makes me wonder where, and to what type of female you've been looking, because as the lovely Breezy pointed out, the characteristics you claim to be seeking aren't necessarily a function of age; airheads exist in all age ranges.

At 20, I was a full fledged bookworm, and being a former debate geek, could hold my own on a diverse range of topics. I didn't know much about wine, but I was willing to try new things. At 44, I'm still no wine connoiseur, and TBH I could really care less about what the wine critics have to say. If I like the wine, I buy it. If not, it stays on the shelf.



While I could empathize, I wouldn't be able to identify with your particular hardships, either. I've had my own challenges to deal with, but I've been fortunate enough that I've never been homeless.



You do realize that can happen with anyone, regardless of age, yes?



This.




And this.

The journey you undertake with someone is just as important as the destination. Maintaining a healthy relationship when you're starting from the same place can be challenging enough on it's own. When you don't start from the same place, age related issues can throw additional spanners into the works.

First, where you are in your career has the potential to have a huge impact on your relationship. That 40-50 year old woman might be looking to retire in 15 to 20 years, whereas you'll still likely be at least a couple of additional decades off before you can even begin to think about that.

Secondly, if the woman in question has grown children, there's a chance you'll become a step-grandparent while you're in your 30's. You might think I'm kidding, but I know someone this happened to. He's ok with it now, but it took him awhile to adjust to being called "grandpa" while he was still young enough to have kids of his own.

Third, women in 40-50 year age range quite often end up being caregivers for their elderly parents. It's a difficult, wearying, and sometimes thankless job, that can often put a strain on an otherwise healthy relationship.

Last, huge gaps in age also mean there's a good chance you'll face declining health issues in your partner much sooner than you would with someone closer to your own age. The same man I mention above is now 45, while his wife is 65. He's in the prime of his life, while she's dealing with the after affects of a stroke. He loves her, and there is no question that he supports her, but it does limit the things they can do. I do realize health problems can be an issue at any age, but generally speaking, they become more frequent and pronounced as we age.

I'm not saying younger men/older women relationships can't work, Mike. I personally know of two couples who've made it long term (7 years, and 15 years respectively). I'm just saying you should carefully consider what you could possibly signing on for if you're determined to become involved in a long term, romantic relationship with a much older woman.

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Thank you for all your help and advice. While i still really like older women i wont let that be the end all be all kind of thing. I have a lot to learn and ill take things step by step. You ladies are all wonderful. I wish we could all meet up one day so i can say thanks in person. But if you are ever in New Jersey and need anything. You got a friend in me

Check the following:

1) Bingo Parlors
2) AARP Chapter meetings
3) Any Buffet during the "Early Bird Special"
4) Any Dinner Theater in Branson Missouri.

JeffVal1989 said:

Check the following:

1) Bingo Parlors
2) AARP Chapter meetings
3) Any Buffet during the "Early Bird Special"
4) Any Dinner Theater in Branson Missouri.

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If im ever in Missouri ill check that out lol

Life must look really different when a college senior is an "older woman." I'm not sure I remember those days. However, I do remember one lesson that I learned back then: woman are people.

midwestyankee said:

Life must look really different when a college senior is an "older woman." I'm not sure I remember those days. However, I do remember one lesson that I learned back then: woman are people.

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College senior? I did a have thing with a lady in college. She was in one of my classes but she was late 30s....people do go back to school after having kids. And yes women are people.

Merry Christmas.

http://www.casualmilfs.com

FGB said:

Merry Christmas.

http://www.casualmilfs.com

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Lol, thank you.