Looking for feedback on my first story

noobdude

Virgin
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Nov 9, 2016
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I posted my first story and am looking for some constructive criticism/feedback on it. It is a cross dressing story.

https://www.literotica.com/s/a-boiled-frog-pt-01

I have gotten some very positive feedback and great comments, as well as some haters, but none of the comments have had any constructive criticism or even told me what they liked about the story. Since this is my first story ever, I was hoping for some insight from a more experienced writer on what I could have done better.

Thanks in advance,

Noobdude
 
One thing I find confusing is the double flashback. It starts in the present, then after a few paragraphs goes back to the past, then one paragraph later goes back to the distant past.
Also a bit confusing is the reference at the start to a wife, a girfriend and a lesbian lover. So I nearly gave up at the beginning. But apart from that it's very good, both the quality of writing and the structure of the story (the Julie/Tina/Lisa thing is quite clever). Personally I found the some of the detail of the nylons etc a bit repetitive and tedious, but that's just because I'm not really into that stuff. Also some of the details of the side-characters lost my interest.

Ignore the idiot who says what he thinks would have happened - the same anon writes this on loads of stories. Or just delete the dumb trolling comments. You can do that via the control panel. If everyone deleted him, he'd stop doing it.
 
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Thanks

Good points. Especially the double flashback, looking at that critically I can see how it's a mess.

I went for cryptic with my opening and it might of backfired. I could see how a cleaner opening would have been better, especially with the transition into Pt. 02. If someone didn't read Pt. 01, you would be completely lost.

I might of lost some readers before they got into the characters. I know that has happened to me as the reader in the past.
 
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