The Crusade

Willow

Willow had shined as well? The idea made no sense to her. In her plain shirt and dark jeans she figured that she had been just as dull as the others. However, a part of Willow told her that he wasn't referring to her clothing. She also had a feeling that his radiance had to do with more than just his clothes. And what did he mean when he told her that she was picked out? By Paul? It didn't make any sense.

When Paul reached out and gently placed a loose strand of hair behind her ear, her breath caught in her throat. She could feel the heat of his fingers so close to her skin, and being so close now, she could catch his unique scent.

"Rebecca... such a loss of a fine young woman. All for being in the wrong place at the wrong time. You were crushed by it, and felt alone, lost and nowhere to turn to. Deeper and deeper into the abyss you fell, until you found the spark, not outside of you, but within you, that gave you the light to find the path you needed to follow to get out of the chasm."

Willow's eyes began to water at the mention of her sister. Her sister had dies several years ago after getting caught up in a world of crime and corruption, swept away in a rip of danger that she couldn't swim her way out of. Rebecca had tried to reach out, tried to find a lifeguard to hold her close, but she had lost out. She had, as Paul had said, been in the wrong place at the wrong time.

As Paul spoke his fingers moved from her hair and over the skin of her temple. His touch sent sparks of life shooting through her body and she gasped at the contact, not quite able to believe what she was hearing.

"But nothing is always dark, is it? Night time is, but a good fire and family can make a difference. Even if your family had everything necessary, except for the food that was left in the driveway. But did that stop the trip? Ruin it? Hardly. Roasted marshmallows over the camp fire that survived the drive made supper. Then a sugar high filled night of talk laughter and love. Yes, that would explain the ability to find the spark. Make lots of good from very little. Never let Life take everything away from you."

How did Paul know any of this? Last night was the first time that he had ever seen her. Her first and most irrational thought was stalker, but then she knew that if he had ever been near her she would've noticed. There was something about him that drew her attention, it was a magnetism that she couldn't deny. If he had followed her she would have known, just as surely as she'd known that he was seated here, even though she'd been about to leave.

Paul's fingers brushed her cheek and a shiver ran through her body. Her common sense told her to pull away but a deeper, more primal, more persuasive part of her held her in place. He then told her why she had come back. He knew about the caller.

Anything. Everything.

There were those damned words again. She had thought about them so much over the past fourty-eight hours that their structure no longer mattered; she didn't need to hear them or read them because she felt them. They became a part of her bones, her blood, her essence. They became both a quest and a challenge.

When Paul's hand dropped from her face the world around her filtered back through her senses, the music, the lights. A world she had forgotten existed for a short moment in time. She couldn't help but be dumbstruck by his insight. He knew things about her that her closest friend wouldn't have known. He knew things that even she didn't know.

"See, Willow, you're special. Very... special."

Willow took a few moments to process what he had said. Her mind raced and her curiosity increased tenfold.

"How do you know all that?" She asked the first and most obvious question that was stationary in her mind long enough for her to verbalise it.

[OOC : Another big thank you to SinisterSpiders for allowing me to guide Willow through this post.]


His fingers wanted to close the small gap and touch her again. Her skin was unlike anything he felt before. Smooth, almost flawless skin covered her face, the appearance of frown lines accentuated the remainder of her facial skin. Even her hair felt like silk. It flowed like strands of the fine thread.

His words had power. Not because of what he was. Not because of any spell he worked on her directly. They had power because of the scenes he was shown. He spoke of them like he had been there, and due to his viewing her past, he had been there like a fly on the wall. But he knew that they were events that resonated strongly with him, which is why they came to the fore.

Tears, a smile and a frown were the main responses to his words. All three spoke all too clearly to him. Nothing she could have said would have spoken clearer to him than those changes in her face. But his final words spoken, the look slowly changed into one of concentration. Again, the tempest within her mind slowed slightly, changing from a directionless storm into a mighty tornado. All of the fury within her troubled mind moved in unison, concentrating it all at one point, a single apex.

"How do you know all that?"

Paul grinned broadly, noticeably relaxing at the words that left her mouth. No splutters of denial, nor accusations of nefarious deeds. Straight out seeking answers. She was brilliant. Indeed she was very special.

"How do I know all of that. I reached out," his hand touched the side of her cheek again, the backs of his fingers repeating their earlier motions, "then I used a little talent I learned to use after I was woken up one day which allowed me to peer into your past and see some of your life. Parts of your life that you wanted me to see. Deep down in your soul, you wanted someone who would understand to see."

His fingers slid down to her jaw, gliding along the length until his finger came to a stop under her chin. He could feel her pulse hammering through her skin as he gently suggested she turn her head to look at him. His own blue eyes met her darker pools, flickering from one to the other reading the secrets hidden within. He sensed the light within her, that something unique that made her so special in his eyes.

"Kiss me."

His hand remained below her chin, but he didn't move her with it. his hand remained there, moving with her as she started to close the distance. He followed, quietly confident as they lips finally made soft contact. As he thought, they were soft, plump and warm like a spring noon. He tasted the juice on her lips, a subtle accent to the natural taste of herself. Paul opened his soul to Willow, letting the compassion he felt for her flow through. He rejoiced in her strength, warmed himself in her light and danced with her soul as their lips continued to create the bridge between them. Through it all, he showed he loved her as the person she was. Not a lover's affection, nor one from family; it was less and more. Powerful and subtle, soft and strong.

The peeled his lips from Willow's, allowing his eyes to open and take in her features after their shared experience. He knew that there was a hole in her spirit that the world had torn open in her, and slowly widened. He knew how to help her heal that wound, while showing her she was not alone in the world as she thought.

"There is a world out there, Willow, that I know from here on, you will see differently. You're no longer sleep walking, but you're not fully awake yet. You can go back and rest your head on the pillow, and return to that sleeping state. Or," he moved closer once more, bring his lips as close to hers as he could without touching, "we can see how much more awake we can make you and let you see the world for what it truly is."

Willow

Willow's heart sung as Paul said the words that she had been desperate to hear for years. The part about him being truly awake perplexed her, but the confusion paled in comparison to the relief she felt at truly feeling understood. Everyone she knew merely accepted her façade of happiness, those that knew of her past looked upon her with pity but commended her strength. And now Paul, who she had known for less than forty-eight hours, had somehow reached deep into her soul and gotten to the very core of her being.

Paul's fingers traced an intimate path along her jaw and rested under her chin and coaxed her ever so gently to face him. She tumbled into his clear blue eyes and one again the world around them faded away. His touch was like a balm for her soul, it calmed the tempest of thoughts raging through her mind and told her what truly mattered.

"Kiss me." His words echoed through her mind as she though the very same thing. Slowly, carefully, she leant forward. Despite her caution she felt a sense of vertigo as their lips met, she fell completely and utterly into an existence that was exclusive to only them. The bitterness of his drink did nothing to detract from the sweetness of their kiss as she felt emotions pouring from him in waves that were contrasting yet completely and utterly compatible. Strength tempered by acceptance of weakness, independence underlined with genuine concern, curiosity bound by knowledge.

For the first time in a very long time, a part of Willow that felt sore and empty fluttered within her, a new pulse of hope sending the promise of fulfilment rushing through her veins.


"There is a world out there, Willow, that I know from here on, you will see differently. You're no longer sleep walking, but you're not fully awake yet. You can go back and rest your head on the pillow, and return to that sleeping state. Or," he moved closer once more, bring his lips as close to hers as he could without touching, "we can see how much more awake we can make you and let you see the world for what it truly is."

Willow didn't want to be asleep any more. There was no way she could go back to her life when less than an hour spent with him had made her feel more alive than real life ever had. She felt that she was in the limbo he described; aware but not awake. She wanted more, she wanted to see the world as he claimed to, she wanted to experience life as she knew he could.

Paul's lips were tantalizingly close to her own, and his breath had been hot between them as he had spoken. In the air between them she could smell their scents, still mingled from their kiss, and she felt intoxicated again, but this time it was painful or disorienting, it made everything around her startlingly clear.

Without hesitation Willow closed the distance between them. She wanted more. More of his insight, more of his light, more of him.

Even knowing the truth behind the veil that humans have when thinking of, and perceiving time, it felt like they hung in an eternity with their lips so close, yet so far. She invaded his senses so deeply that he could perceive nothing else but her. She was close enough that he could taste her skin from across the tiny gap between their faces. He felt the warm currents of the zephyrs that formed from her breathing. Her unique fragrance tantalized his nose with the complex mix of distinct elements to it. He heard nothing but the beat of her heart. He saw nothing but the clear pools of twilight that beckoned him to explore their hidden depths.

Then the moment was gone. Willow closed the gap, bringing her lips to his once more. Again, his soul opened to her, sharing everything she could accept from him. His arms slowly encircled her, physically reminding her that he was there protecting her while she was with him. His hold never restricted her, only served as another means of sharing what he had within him with her. His tongue brushed her lips, gliding along the crease formed where her lips joined. He cared little if she granted him passage or not. He accepted her, her choices and what she chose to share with him without reservation nor judgement.

But like when they kissed the very first time, something more passed from Willow to Paul. He felt her giving to him something deeper, more fulfilling than the sharing of their souls. He felt her pass some of the harnessed energy of the Universe, some of the quintessence to him. It reassured him that he had chosen correctly. He felt the distinct taste of love; the general love that people share for the fellow man, at least those that are worthy. The generous, compassionate caring that the wounded woman carried within her was shared with him in the purest way possible.

He let her break off the kiss in her own time, breathing very heavily as he helped put a little distance between them. He rolled his lips slowly and obviously while he savoured the last remnants of her on his lips.

"You may experience more if you so wish, whenever, and wherever, you feel comfortable doing so. And I mean experience things that you have never dreamt of. But, Willow, you will decide if, when, where and to a lesser extent, how that happens. But... but once you do... there will be no turning back. Everything will change. For better. For worse."

He pressed a finger against her lips, gently touching both at the cupid's bow. "Think on it, Willow." His voice became stern, like a teacher talking to a student, or a parent talking to their child before the younger one acted. "you know how things are now, but what you will see if you decide for more, will send you to greater heights of happiness, and plunge you into deeper pits of despair. You'll weep at beauty you never thought existed, and you'll scream at the horrors that will never leave your quiet moments. Take your time, but don't take too long. You'll want to go back to sleep again, and will resist waking again, if you take too long to decide."

Paul released her, shifting back a little, taking up his pint glass and taking a generous sip, letting Willow mull over everything that happened to her.

Willow

Ever since she was young, Willow had experienced temporary yet melancholy moments where she had dared to imagine what it would feel like to lose someone that she loved dearly. She'd anticipated pain and sorrow, regret and fear and a sadness so deep it would hurt. Despite this, she hadn't truly realised what the loss of a loved one would mean until her sister has been murdered. Just like you can't know what it feels like to get a tattoo until you've had the needles ink your skin with a permanent design, it was impossible to truly anticipate her loss. When she had learned of her sister's death she had gone beyond pain and sorrow, regret and fear, sadness so deep it hurt. She had spiralled headlong to a place that was deeper than the ninth circle of hell and more bleak than a desert wasteland. Her grief had been all consuming and its appetite insatiable.

Willow wanted to see beauty in this forsaken world. She wanted to cry tears caused by an overload of joyous perception . But if the cost was her spiralling back into a place worse than where she had already been? Where she had barely managed to claw her way out of?

Paul's finger on her lips was gentle enough to allow her to think yet anchoring enough to keep her mind from going wild. More importantly, however, it reminded her of why she was here.

"If I wake will I be alone? Or will you be there to guide me?" She asked. In that moment she felt just like Neo. Red pill or blue pill?

"If I wake will I be alone? Or will you be there to guide me?"

He gently placed his glass on the table.

"Whether you wake alone, or with company, is purely your decision, Willow. However, if you awaken, you will not be alone. I will be there to guide you until you need someone else to show you the way."

But he fixed his gaze on Willow, admiring her facial features. "But until that time, whenever you want to visit, you're more than welcome."

Willow

Willow's cheeks tinged pink as she realised the mistake she had made and Paul's subsequent suggestion. With the memory of his lips on hers, his skin tracing hers softly, she didn't even want to think about the first possibility.

Willow couldn't believe that she was even talking about the second option. Awaking as opposed to waking. She couldn't fathom that she was talking about it as if it was even real. However, when she looked at Paul, she could tell that he believed it with every fibre of his being. If he was right, if what he was talking about was real for more than just himself, Willow couldn't help but want it. There had been a lack of something in her life, she couldn't put her finger on it, but when she was with him she felt complete. The fact that he'd said that he would be there with her if she chose to wake meant that she was even more receptive to the idea.

"What is awaking?" Willow asked, still felling as though she was light years behind "How do you awaken? And what happens when you do?"

Paul liked the way Willow's cheeks coloured. She was a lot quicker than most when he helped others understand the difference in the words. He wanted to see her more often with the rosy cheeks and the warm smile that made her face glow so nicely.

"What is awaking? How do you awaken? And what happens when you do?"

Paul took a deep breath. "What is awakening? It is when a part of your soul finally sees the truth that has been hidden from you. We all have an ability to do marvelous things, Willow. But most of us, almost none of us, knows we have it.

"When it happens, it's like... it's like... you've been watching the world through a black and white TV in mono sound, and then being given a huge HD LCD screen with surround sound. Your entire outlook on the world is changed. That is just the awakening. After that, you learn the truth about universe and what you can do with it." Paul's voice took on a dream like quality and he seemed to stare off into space. But he was reliving his own awakening in his last days as a teenager. Serena was a worldly woman of thirty who saw his potential and showed him the universe beyond his then feeble understanding. He couldn't have thought of a better way to loose his virginity.

"How does someone awaken? We have no idea really. The one thing we do know is that when the soul finally wakes up, it never goes back to sleep again afterward. Well, it sleeps again when it comes back for the next trip, but then it might be a little easier to awaken. Again, we're not sure."

Willow

"How do you know that I will be able to awaken?" Willow asked as a sticky black tendril of self-doubt adhered itself to her heart. "I'm probably one of those people that was never meant to know about this but just got caught up in it all by mistake! I don't think that-" Willow stopped talking and looked at Paul, here eyebrows furrowing.

"I can't believe I'm even talking about this!" She said exasperatedly, throwing her hands in the air for effect. "This is ridiculous. Here I am talking about it like it is actually real when I have no proof. Paul, forgive me. What you describe is amazing, truly, and I want it more than anything, but if it really exists why would I be one of the few capable of being a part of it? I just don't get it!"

The past thirty-six hours felt completely unreal to Willow. The way that she had been chasing Paul only to fall into his arms so easily. Her mind reeled from all of the events and the throbbing music added a strange musical tone that seemed to compliment her racing thoughts.

"How do you know that I will be able to awaken?"

"I don't know."

He could feel the doubt starting to constrict about her. She had hope, and that hope was precious to her. So precious that she had to protect it fiercely, even if it meant burying it deep.

"I'm probably one of those people that was never meant to know about this but just got caught up in it all by mistake! I don't think that-"

She turned her attention back to him, fixing him with a laser like stare.

"I can't believe I'm even talking about this! This is ridiculous. Here I am talking about it like it is actually real when I have no proof. Paul, forgive me. What you describe is amazing, truly, and I want it more than anything, but if it really exists why would I be one of the few capable of being a part of it? I just don't get it!"

Paul closed his eyes, centring himself quickly and finding his senses sharpened once more. He opened his mind to hers, barely linking them. But it opened her mind to him enough that he heard and saw the flashes of her thoughts as they tumbled through her mind.

He focused on her mind, then with care he projected his own calmness onto her. Where her mind raced, his calm acted like a thickening of air that slowed the movement of all that traveled through it. he wasn't capable of much, but he felt that he at least took the edge of her encroaching mental panic.

"The last day has been strange for you. Your desire to follow me. Your feelings about me confuse you. You don't normally fall for someone so easily, at least into their arms. So many questions, so few answers. Why have you been chosen? The universe doesn't tell us, we have to search and find out for ourselves.

"You don't believe me? Think something, anything you are happy for me to hear or know, and I will say it you, verbatim. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you yourself don't say it. After that, I'll show you how I won the pool game."

Willow

[OOC: Thanks to M13 for allowing me to write Paul's reading of Willow's thoughts in here]

Despite it's earlier eagerness to take control, her creeping denial slowly lost its footing in her self esteem. Her racing thoughts calmed slightly and she listened to Paul speak. She had hoped that he would be able to tell her why she was singled out, but he seemed to think it was still a mystery. His offer of proof made her want to laugh. He could tell what she was thinking? It reminded her of some crazy fantasy show where mind-readers really existed.

"Okay." Willow said slowly, she closed her eyes and concentrated thinking of only one thing.


"This is ridiculous" Willow's first thought was spoken initially in her mind and then in Paul's smooth voice. Her eyes snapped open and she looked at him.

"That is probably the most obvious thing..." Paul spoke, again it was Willow's thoughts coming out in his voice.

Willow needed to really test him- her self doubt was obvious and probably the easiest thing for anyone to fake.

"The purple platypus in the rainbow's frog was highlighted by throbbing music."

Willow's eyes widened in amazement as the obscure string of words flowed from Paul's mouth as easily as she had thought them.

"Shit!" Willow cursed, then covered her mouth with her hand. She looked at Paul again, trying to process what had just happened. He had done it. He had actually read her mind. She looked deep into his piercing blue eyes and her world shifted as her mind struggled to comprehend what was going on.

"So. How did you win that game of pool then?" She asked slowly. She had tried to deny it, she had been certain it was a hoax, but he had spoken her mind just as she had thought it and that, at least, couldn't be denied.

[OOC: Another thank you to SinisterSpiders for allowing me to guide Willow's action a little in this post]

The look of complete surprise on Willow's face as Paul spoke the last sentence almost made him laugh. He was so used to exercising his powers in front of those who believed. At least those that openly believed.

"So. How did you win that game of pool then?"

"Dig out a coin for me." He waited patiently for her to find a coin. He dropped the mind link, then focused on controlling the flow of Karma about the coin. Once he felt the spell come into effect, he opened his eyes again.

"I don't care how, exactly, but flip it, spin it or do something else that will randomize which face will come up on top. The next eight will come up heads, the two after will come up tails. Go."

The first three, Willow sent spinning in the air, snatched out of the air and slapped on the back of her hand. Heads, all three times. The next four were spun on the table top. Heads every single time. Seven heads in a row. Back to flipping in the air, with one more heads, followed by two more tails.

"After one knows how to see the flow of randomness, you get to be able to exert some control over it. If I went any further than that, the universe would have taken notice and bitch slapped for openly breaking the rules. The reason I got away with it at the pool table, is because you kissed me after I made a big deal of a woman being a representative of Lady Luck, and bestowing her favour with a kiss."

He looked her straight in the eye, very intensely gazing at her. "Of course, I'm never one to turn down kisses from a pretty woman like yourself."

Willow

Willow clutched the coin tightly in her hand as Paul explained. The metal began to warm in her grasp; she was bewildered. The coin had come from her purse, for she had fished it out herself, so there was no way that it was a trick coin. At first she had been doubtful; each time the coin was flipped there was a fifty fifty chance that it would be heads, but eight heads in a row followed by two tails, just as predicted?

Impossible.

Willow had also thought the same thing about the pool game of the previous evening. The Punk had owned the game from the second that he broke the balls. After Paul had asked for her kiss the game did seem to turn. Shots that she thought were complete misses or far too difficult flowed perfectly and sunk all the right balls.

Perhaps not impossible; just highly improbable.

When Paul's startling blue eyes gazed at her intensely she blushed. His compliment made the corners of her lips tip up, but she was too distracted to appreciate it as it deserved.

"So you manipulated the coin then? Or the energy around it? And the whole bitch slap thing; is that why it was only heads eight out of ten times as opposed to ten out of ten?" She asked quickly, trying to make sense of the information in her head an feeling as though she was failing greatly.

"So you manipulated the coin then? Or the energy around it? And the whole bitch slap thing; is that why it was only heads eight out of ten times as opposed to ten out of ten?"

"No, I merely reshaped the overall flow of randomness to ensure that the coin came down the way I desired. A little more force in the initial flip, a delay in when you took the coin from the air, a slight change in the air density to slow down or speed up the spin or where the coin moved over the table top. There are millions of little things that all take their toll on the coin, changing how it lands. All those things are subtly changed when you know how they work together as random elements.

"No, the bitch slap from the universe would have been if I tried more than ten flips. I could have gone all ten being the same, but that's too bloody obvious, so I change the result a little. I still made the coin land how I wanted it to land all ten times. That was the point.

"Besides, imagine how it would be if I combined the two together. I calmed you down before I read your surface thoughts. I could easily cause you to have random feelings, of random durations and random strengths if I had a mind to. But that would not be good for you, which is why I wouldn't do it."

Paul took a quick pull from his glass, wetting his drying throat. "Either way, Willow, even if you don't awaken fully, there are ways you can be helpful and also benefit from knowing someone like me. That is if you believe me. You deep down believe me. And trust me too."

His eyes seemed to catch the light and made them twinkle slightly. "I mean, I have done anything bad to you? Bad, not naughty."

Willow

What Paul said made sense in some way. It wasn't only the coin itself that determined the outcome, everything else around it had a part to play. The fact that he had used his ability, or whatever it was on her to calm her down astounded her. She thought back to the moments just before he had read her thoughts where her mind had been racing. Then, as he had spoken to her, she calmed down significantly.

Willow watched as Paul took a sip of his drink and Willow suddenly remembered her own. She picked up the glass of orange juice and did the same, thankful for the lukewarm tang on her tongue.

Paul took a quick pull from his glass, wetting his drying throat. "Either way, Willow, even if you don't awaken fully, there are ways you can be helpful and also benefit from knowing someone like me. That is if you believe me. You deep down believe me. And trust me too."


So it wasn't a certainty that she could actually awaken. That thought snagged on Willow's confidence again and she frowned. Even if he couldn't awaken, maybe knowing what some of Paul knew might help her help others. Even knowing Paul could be good.

"I mean, I have done anything bad to you? Bad, not naughty."

Paul's eyes twinkled mischievously as the flashing strobes caught their azure depths. Willow smiled at him this time, still not sure how she had landed in the situation, but for the first time she was glad that she did.

"Bad? No. But naughty, yes... You seem to be quite good at naughty." Willow said, her smile turning into a grin. "If I said that I trusted you, what would the next step be?"

Willow followed Paul's lead, taking a drink as well. But as the put their glasses down, he sensed another wave of doubt pass through her. Well, the look on her face made it clear to him that she was feeling or thinking something not good.

But his question got her smiling again, which was a good thing regardless of anything else as far as Paul was concerned. Getting this woman to smile was becoming a duty, if not an obsession of his. It changed her face is a lot of great ways, making her look more pretty and definitely more alive.

"Bad? No. But naughty, yes... You seem to be quite good at naughty."

"Well, I have had a lot of practice at being naughty, and it is a skill I keep fine tuned." Paul spoke with a laugh.

"If I said that I trusted you, what would the next step be?"

Paul's joyous expression vanished, replaced by a very serious one that worked hard to lock her in place. His posture shifted so he was sitting straighter, leaning in slightly projecting an air of size and subtly filling her personal space.

"The next step is yours, Willow. If you trust me, then you can follow me when I leave this table. But know this, and I am very clear and literal about it - if you follow me, you will accept my guidance in everything that happens afterward. You don't, then our paths go separate ways never to meet again. You'll never see me, hear me nor find any evidence that I even exist. Nothing but your one hundred percent commitment to supporting and understanding, to aiding and helping. In return, you will have my commitment to support and understand, to aid and to help. Within reason, I will ask of you, and you can ask of me.

"But you're 'with me' totally, or not at all. Word go so far, Willow, actions will show the truth."

He held up the third full glass, the joyous Paul back once more. "And I ain't leaving until I have savoured this to the fullest. Man, the Irish had their heads screwed on properly when they made this fine drink."

Willow

Paul had a nice laugh. Each time that wonderful sound tumbled from his lips his eyes lit up even brighter, catching the light around them and reflecting it joyously. Willow couldn't help but smile at his mirth.

When Paul's tone turned serious and his eyes calmed, Willow sat up a little straighter, her body almost tingling with anticipation. What was it about him that made her act like this? Willow didn't even really need time to consider the question before she knew the answer; she was drawn to his ability, the enigma, how his silver hair and beard were at odds with his youthful yet worldly eyes... how he truly understood what she wanted; what she needed. As he leaned in closer to her she could smell his earthy scent again and she held her breath.

"The next step is yours, Willow. If you trust me, then you can follow me when I leave this table. But know this, and I am very clear and literal about it - if you follow me, you will accept my guidance in everything that happens afterward. You don't, then our paths go separate ways never to meet again. You'll never see me, hear me nor find any evidence that I even exist. Nothing but your one hundred percent commitment to supporting and understanding, to aiding and helping. In return, you will have my commitment to support and understand, to aid and to help. Within reason, I will ask of you, and you can ask of me.

"But you're 'with me' totally, or not at all. Word go so far, Willow, actions will show the truth."

It all seemed so serious. Total commitment? She'd only just met him and she didn't even know what she was committing to. The aiding and helping part appealed to her just as much as knowing that he would offer support and understanding if she did too. The alternative, having him walk out and never seeing him again, saddened her. She barely even knew him yet a part of her already wanted him in her life. She wasn't sure yet what role he would play, but she knew that he was an important part of her future. Could she make this commitment yet? The thought of saying yes with so little information was catastrophically daunting.

"And I ain't leaving until I have savoured this to the fullest. Man, the Irish had their heads screwed on properly when they made this fine drink."

The quick change of tone made Willow's mind reel; everything about him had her on edge, and his ability to go from conversational to serious and back again in a matter of seconds was astounding.

"If I say yes, if I agree to follow you, what happens? Can I still have my life? Or part of it? I don't want to say goodbye to my Mother. And I love my apartment... and my cat. Will I have to give up work?" Willow fired her questions off as quickly as she thought of them. She stopped to take a deep breath and centre herself before continuing. "You intrigue me Paul, and I am not willing to let you just walk out of here and never see you again, but I need to know more before I can make a decision like that."

Paul knew he had her unsettled by what he was doing. It was very deliberate on his part. It wasn't her mind he wanted to make the decision. He wanted her heart to make it. Her head would get in the way. The least awakened part of her wasn't allowed to make that final call.

"If I say yes, if I agree to follow you, what happens? Can I still have my life? Or part of it? I don't want to say goodbye to my Mother. And I love my apartment... and my cat. Will I have to give up work?"

Paul smiled, sipping a little more of his drink as he filed away her questions for answering later. It would be very rude of him to not answer them properly. He watched her as she brought herself under some greater control.

"You intrigue me Paul, and I am not willing to let you just walk out of here and never see you again, but I need to know more before I can make a decision like that."

"I know, but sometimes, you don't get that luxury."

He drained his glass, placing it carefully on the table before him. He straightened himself out, sitting forward facing the table before he shuffled himself out of the booth. Paul looked down at Willow, both eyebrows raised slightly as he took a step back to give her the room she needed to get out of the booth, if she chose to follow him.

Willow

"I know, but sometimes, you don't get that luxury."

Willow watched as Paul got to his feet and looked at her expectantly. He really wanted her to make this decision right now and with so little information? Willow wasn't sure what to make of the situation. She looked up into his eyes, trying to discern his true intentions. Nothing in those blue orbs meant her any harm, she could see that, but she also knew he was serious. There was a part of Willow deep inside that screamed for her to get to her feet and follow him to the ends of the earth; further if he asked.

Instead of standing Willow took her own glass in hand, it was still half full. She brought it to her lips slowly and savoured the way that the distribution of weight in the glass changed as she tipped it so the orange juice would trickle through her slightly parted lips. She watched Paul as she drank, buying more time to convince her mind to make the decision her heart had already committed to. When Willow was finished her drink she placed the cup carefully on the table next to Paul's and slowly got to her feet. She stepped out of the booth so that her body was millimetres from his. She could feel his warmth radiating deep into her bones and his energy sizzled through her soul.

"I feel a bit like the coin that we flipped earlier." Willow said, struggling to find her voice behind a myriad of complex and contrasting emotions. "Just like the coin, I don't exist in a vaccuum. Where the coin has air pressure, the speed at which I flipped it, the height from which it was thrown, I have my past, my family, work and a cat. " Willow's forehead creased as her mind raced, still trying to comprehend what was happening to her. "I can make my decision Paul, but everything that has happened to me and will happen to me in the future will continue to shape me. I know what has brought me to this point in my life, but what puzzles me is what brought me to you. A strange call at work, a series of turns, the serendipitous sight of your shirt and hair in an otherwise stark corridor...."

Willow looked back at the seat she had vacated and the two empty glasses on the table. She picked up her bag and felt it's familiar weight tugging at her shoulder; an anchor to a normality that had felt like purgatory for years.

"I'm not normally a superstitious or mystical person Paul, but the chain of events- or flow of randomness surrounding our meetings is too much to ignore. I feel alive around you Paul and I'll be damned if I let you leave here without me."

Willow looked Paul square in the eyes, searching for the answer to her unasked question. But when she finally broke contact, Paul thought she was going to turn him down. Even with everything else, sometimes the heart heeds the head, or just plain opts for the Devil Known.

But something about the way she took up her glass made him hesitate. he was observing it, feeling it as she brought it to her lips. The small smile was hidden by his facial hair. She was buying time, he knew, but the way she did it told him which way her decision was going to fall. He didn't care about the empty glass once it left her face, his gaze was locked onto her face. he watched her face as she slid out to stand beside him.

The tiny gap between them seemed to buzz with an energy that even Willow seemed to be aware of. Paul was certain he could sense every curve and feature of her body with his own through that gap.

Paul listened to Willow as she spoke, taking in every word, every gap between them, the tones, inflections and all the other subtleties of what she was communicating to him. She looked back at the empty glasses on the table, grabbing her bag and casually slinging it over her shoulder.

"I'm not normally a superstitious or mystical person Paul, but the chain of events- or flow of randomness surrounding our meetings is too much to ignore. I feel alive around you Paul and I'll be damned if I let you leave here without me."

Paul lowered his head until he was level with Willow, then gave her a very loud, enthusiastic kiss. No sooner than it was over, his arm was wrapped around her waist and propelling her towards the signs declaring the location of the restrooms.

"I knew you'd make the proper choice, Willow."

They passed through the door separating the club from the amenities, walking past them and through a door at the other end of the hallway. He led her through what looked like a general storage area until they reached the base of a stairwell. He let go of her waist, and started heading up the stairs.

"Now, Willow, you asked about keeping your life. Of course you can," he said over his shoulder as they went up the stairs. "Mind you, you may not want to keep it exactly as you have in the past, but then that is your decision.

"Of course, you can say goodbye to your mother anytime you leave her place, or she leaves yours or whenever you part company, but I don't see it being a permanent thing. Keep your apartment if you like, as well as the cat. Very aloof, yet still clingy when they want."

They passed another storage area still going up. Paul was not going slow, but he wasn't rushing either. But when they reached the next room, Paul came to a stop and turned to face Willow.

"Stop work? Why would you want to do that? That is what your heart wants to do." He lightly tapped her chest precisely above where her heart thudded in her chest. "Stopping you doing that would kill you worse than any cancer would. But with all those things you questioned, it's all up to you. Things will happen. They may make you lean in different directions regarding all of that. But I wont be telling you 'Willow, you need to give the cat the boot.' or anything else like that."

He walked over to a door, unlocking it and holding it open for Willow. "Ladies first." Beyond was a well kept hallway painted in a light off white, softly lit the entire length. One door at the end of the hallway, and one to the immediate right not far from where they entered. Paul closed the door behind them, then opened the closest door, stepping through.

The large, spacious room was a shrine to the '60s as well as having a strong Hindu influence. Jimi Hendrix commanded the room from the poster that dominated one wall, seemingly guarding, or being guarded by the eight armed Shiva that stood on a shelving unit below. About were other artworks of both influences, along with books, incense burners, trinkets, souvenirs and other bric-a-brac that neatly fell into one or other theme.

A papasan chair filled the far corner, and piles of cushions were distributed about the carpeted floor.

"Like it? I decorated it myself." He laughed loudly, quickly covering the distance and giving Willow an enormous hug, lifting her feet off the floor and spinning her around a little. He settled her on her feet, giving her a moment for the dizziness to pass, then swept her up in a deeply passionate kiss. He held her firmly, supporting her as he embarked on showing her exactly how he felt about her and her decision about his offer.

He slowly pulled his mouth from hers, letting his eyes flutter open to look at her lovely face once more. "Welcome to the first real day of your life, Willow."

Willow

Paul's lips crashed eagerly against her own as soon as the words of her decision had fled from her mouth. His kiss was eager and he didn't hold back at all, as their mouths explored each other she could feel his enthusiasm through the hot skin to skin contact. A second later he had pulled away and Willow let out a small disappointed moan, but she hardly had time to feel the loss as his arm wrapped around her waist and begun to steer her carefully but firmly towards another area of the club.

"I knew you'd make the proper choice, Willow."

Willow was about to baulk when she saw the signs for the bathroom. Thankfully he skipped them went to a room packed with boxes, crates and bags overflowing with different types of decorations. When they reached the bottom of a set of stairs Paul let go of her and led the way up the steps. Willow's memory floated back to the previous evening when she had followed him through the maze of the underground level of the club and her concern fizzled. As she followed Paul and his silver hair and bright shirt up the stairs she smiled to herself. She'd known you could fall down the rabbit hole, but she'd never considered climbing up one.

Paul spoke as they climbed and it was all Willow could do to listen to him and keep up with the efforts of his significantly longer legs. He told her that she could keep everything from her previous life if, and for as long as, she wanted to; her mother, her cat and even her job. Relief flooded through her and a sense of rightness soon followed, seeping into every atom of her being. Losing what she had known would have been her only regret on this mystery path she had chosen. Now she knew that she had, as Paul said, made the right decision.

When they reached the next room Paul opened a door and then held it open, gesturing chivalrously for Willow to enter. When she did her vision was assaulted by a room which was a throwback to the flower power days of the 1960's. The poster of Jimi Hendrix stood out against one wall with a statue of one of the Hindu god's below it. Willow wasn't sure which drew her eyes the most, but they stood together in a way that seemed to her to be a complimentary contrast of god and man. What attracted Willow the most, however, was the papasan chair in the corner. Her parents had one just like it in her childhood home and a comforting sense of nostalgia washed over her.

Before Willow could take a more critical look at Paul's interior decorating skills. Paul's voice was loud and joyous and it made Willow's heart skip a beat. When his arms wrapped around her and spun her around in a jovial embrace her laughter joined his and filled the brightly decorated room with a sound that matched it perfectly. When he set her down he only gave her a few moments to adjust before his lips were on hers again.

It was a kiss, but it was also so much more. Willow could feel his happiness through the contact, his emotions pouring into hers. She was pleased with what she felt and found herself desperate for more. She wrapped her arms around him, luxuriating in the contagious glow of his joy. When he pulled away from her, slowly, their eyes met and she smiled at him shyly, not used to such enthusiastic displays of affection (especially from someone she'd known for less than two days).

"Welcome to the first real day of your life, Willow." Paul said. Willow grinned at him and reluctantly broke eye contact to look around the room once again. The way he had decorated the room wasn't anything like she would have done, but it was so him that it was perfect. It was like she had walked into a room decorated with Paul rather than bricks, mortar, wood and fabric.

"Now what?" Willow asked, trying to keep the giddy excitement from bubbling over. It reminded her of the feeling she got when she went to bed on Christmas eve; the anticipation of Santa coming, but more importantly- the mystery of all of those brightly wrapped presents under the trees. Willow wondered what sort of gifts she would be unwrapping. She hadn't felt this way for years, and she loved it.

After their last kiss, Paul was able to take the time to think about Willow's reactions to his room. She looked at everything, not passing any outward judgements on what she saw. While Paul normally didn't care what anyone else thought about his most personal of places, he found himself anxious about how Willow would take it. His anxiety eased significantly when he saw her reaction to the papasan chair.

Again, he loved her smile and seeing it warmed him yet again. All the more because he kissed her and she seemed to like it. There was no doubts in him mind as to whether or not he liked kissing her. He would do that as often as she would allow him, and probably twice that much.

"Now what?"

He heard the excitement in her voice, the thrill of discovering something that was about to be given to her as a gift. It was the child-like sense of wonderment, excitement and nerves that mixed together to give the loveliest feeling of being alive.

Paul took off his shirt, tossing it off to one side. He revealed a healthy looking body. Not athletic nor super fit. There was no clear muscle definition on his body, but he carried no obvious fat or flab either. The few hairs on his chest were the same iron gray as those on his head and in his beard.

He walked over to the shelving, picking up a sheathed dagger, and stuffed it in his belt before returning to where he had been standing. He looked at Willow directly, his expression slowly becoming calm and serious.

"Between us there will be trust and respect. But these are both earned and never given freely. So, to show you that I can be trusted, there is something you must see, Willow."

He pulled out the dagger, and grabbed Willow's wrist. He brought the flat of the blade down on her lower arm, letting her feel the blade against her skin. Even from the side, it was easy to tell how sharp the blade was by how it pressed against her. He lifted the blade from her, not leaving a mark. He dropped down into a squat, bring her down with him. He made her hold the handle of the blade and put the point on the floor. Paul put all the force on it to push it down, and it never budged.

Paul took the dagger back from her, then deliberately cut a deep valley in his arm. Blood well and flowed from the wound as the flesh easily opened up exposing a small amount of bone. He placed the dagger on the floor and looked back at Willow.

"Look at the wound." His voice was solid steel command. When she looked, he proceeded to call on his talent with the Lakashim to repair the damage the wrought on himself. First, the bleeding slowed so that no more blood left his body. The, the flesh started to close up, rejoining as if nothing had happened to it. Soon, the skin was back to the flawless state without any signs that he had ever cut himself.

"Now, that hurt a lot, Willow. It was not done on a whimsy. In this room, I can do my magics openly without fear of the bitch slap, unless I screw it up royally. That's why I cut myself up here, rather than down there. That, and freaking out too many people with lots of blood doesn't help either.

"But, I can heal myself, as well as make some changes to my body over the short term. If I get any natural diseases, I can knock them out pretty damn quick. So you wont be catching anything from me. You can trust me on that front. Always."

Willow

Out of all of the possible responses that she might have expected, Willow had to say that Paul taking his shirt of was probably somewhere down the bottom of her list. Her short time as a telephone counsellor had taught her to hide her shock well, so it was that when her eyes fell upon his nicely shaped body only the slightest parting of her lips betrayed her surprise. His skin looked smooth, and the few hairs that he had on his chest matched his hair and beard. For a moment her fingers itched to reach out and touch his chest, wanting to feel its warmth against her own skin, but she clenched her fists instead.

Luckily Paul didn't give Willow much time to test her restraint. He turned and walked over to a shelf and picked up something metallic, then stuffed it in his belt before she could see what it was. When he returned to her his entire demeanour had changed back to the serious one she had seen before, Willow pushed her naughty thoughts from before to the back of her mind as she knew that she would need to pay attention.

"Between us there will be trust and respect. But these are both earned and never given freely. So, to show you that I can be trusted, there is something you must see, Willow."


Considering that he had led her up to his room and taken of his shirt in a matter of minutes Willow was glad for his comment. When he reached down to his belt and drew a dagger from a metal sheath Willow gasped. Her first instinct as he grabbed her wrist was to turn and run. Between us there will be trust and respect. The memory of Paul's words floated through her mind and she made a concerted effort to slow her rapid breathing and calm her nerves. Trust.

The blade of his dagger was cool against her skin as he pressed it against her wrist. He put enough pressure on it for her to know it was there, but she could tell from the look in his eyes that he meant her no harm. The blade was sharp, the could see and feel that without question. A moment later she was squatting on the floor and pushed it against the floor, the balanced blade remaining where he had helped her to place it.

What happened next made Willow gasp, her hands covering her mouth as her eyes widened. Blood welled up on Paul's arm from where the blade had sliced him, and she panicked. She looked around the room for something to blot the blood with. Why would he do that to himself?

"Look at the wound."

All other thoughts left her mind and her body snapped to attention. She remembered the promise that she had made him and then turned her head slowly, her eyes focusing on the crimson blood flowing freely from his arm. This time when Willow's mouth fell open it was in awe. The bleeding slowly stopped without any help and then is slowly faded away. His skin started to knit together and before long it was as if he'd never cut himself.

But he had.

She'd seen it.

Paul explained what he had done to her, how this room was his sanctuary and that he was able to do things here he couldn't do elsewhere without fear of reprisal. He told her of his ability to keep his body healthy and healed and her amazement increased beyond what she thought was possible.

Willow looked deep into Paul's eyes, but this time she really looked. The agelessness she had noticed before was confirmed again, and the back of her neck tingled pleasantly. Slowly, and with an apologetic smile, she reached out and ran her fingers over where he had cut and healed himself. The skin was soft and well and truly intact.

"Holy shit." Willow said, the awe turning the curse into something full of reverence.

Slowly, Willow traced her fingers up the length of his arm and over his shoulder. She played with the skin that was stretched over his collar bone and then placed her palm flat against his shoulder. Her chest filled with butterflies as she moved her hand further down, indulging her earlier desire as her hand came to rest squarely over his heart. Paul's body was so hot and real beneath her touch that she couldn't deny what she had seen.

"That is amazing." She didn't know what else to say, but as she looked into his eyes with her hand tingling against his hot chest that was so deliciously full of life, she figured that her words would be enough.

Paul would that thought that Willow would be immune to the surprises by then, her mind in a slight numbed cave of shock. But she was made of tougher stuff, and reacted as any person would so such blatant self mutilation. But the open signs of surprise told her that she was taking it better than he thought she would. He felt an odd sense of pride in her ability to not completely freak out and go into full retreat.

Again, her eyes were on his, peering deep beyond the the surface layer of his eyes. He could almost feel her reaching into him, her presence trying to touch his soul. Then came a smile that was totally different to her previous ones, but no less powerful. if he was seeing it correctly, he swore that Willow was apologising with that simple turn of her lips.

His interpreting of her smile ceased as her fingers grazed the surface of his arm where he had cut himself moments before. Concentric waves of goosebumps flowed out from the point of contact, carrying with them glorious sensations that Paul wanted to loose himself in.

"Holy shit."

He stifled a laugh at her choice of words, letting a low moan of pleasure replace it as her fingers continued to travel along his arm up to his shoulder. A strong shiver ran the length of his spine when her palm made contact with him. Where she touched him, he felt hotter, almost uncomfortably so. But he centred himself, letting her do as she wished, enduring the pain to gain the greater pleasure. He traced the movement of her hand by the tactile sensation only, feeling it come to rest over his pounding heart.

"That is amazing."

Languid bedroom eyes opened, and he let out a soft chuckle. "Willow, you ain't seen nothing yet." One hand went to the top of her deep green business style blouse, dislodging her arm as it moved. The other went to the lowest button. In unison, he deftly unbuttoned the blouse, efficiently easing from her body to let it pool on the floor. His hands started to roam the bared flesh, caressing Willow's body with all the respect and reverence it deserved. He looked her over, smiling warmly as his hands mapped her from the top of her dark jeans to the top of her slender neck.

His hands came to a rest on bare skin on her back. He rested his forehead against hers, the woven headband lightly pressing against her as the tip of his nose brushed hers. "Will you have the honours, or shall I?" One finger pressed on her bra strap that ran across her back.

"Willow, you ain't seen nothing yet."

Willow grinned at his comment. As his hands skilfully pushed the buttons free of their holes Willow's heart began to race and desire coursed through her in earnest. This wasn't something she normally did; she usually took the sexual parts of her relationships at a respectfully moderate pace. However, everything with Paul had been so rapid and instinctual that she didn't seem to mind the way he slid her shirt off her shoulders and looked at her near naked torso as though it was worthy of his homage. Even though she knew it was only twenty-four hours ago that she first met him, it felt as though she had known him for an eternity.

A soft sigh escaped her lips and her head tilted back slightly as Paul's warm hands travelled over her body. His fingertips traced her body as if trying to memorise them, and the smile on his kind face made her blush. In an almost painfully intimate gesture Paul rested his forehead against her own as his hands slid around her back to press against the band of her bra. Their noses touched and their lips were so close that it was intoxicating.

"Will you have the honours, or shall I?"

His question made her giggle softly. She had never yet been with a man who was able to efficiently remove her bra. Usually it was all fumbling resulting in her taking it off for the sake of her own safety.

"This will be a true test of your ability." Willow whispered seriously before tilting her head slightly and pressing her lips against his softly. She pecked him twice before she moved her lips away from his. Her breath was heavy and her chest was rising and falling rapidly. All of her previous lovers had been wonderful in their own way, but without even getting her completely undressed Paul had been erotic and intimate in a way that she had never experienced before. It was like his every touch was destined to be felt by her, as though he was a part of her that had been missing for her entire life.