Dear X:

Dear Seagull X,

You dropped a fish on my front lawn this afternoon. Please could you return and retrieve it?

My cats are arguing with each other about whose fish it is.

Og

The trials and tribulations of living on the sea coast. :D
 
The trials and tribulations of living on the sea coast. :D

There are benefits. My builder has a day off each week (that is one day off in seven) to go fishing.

If he is successful, we get free fish.

Of course, the day off varies according to the fishing conditions. He wouldn't want to waste a good fishing day.

Og

PS. He's an extremely competent builder and a reasonable fisherman.
 
There are benefits. My builder has a day off each week (that is one day off in seven) to go fishing.

If he is successful, we get free fish.

Of course, the day off varies according to the fishing conditions. He wouldn't want to waste a good fishing day.

Og

PS. He's an extremely competent builder and a reasonable fisherman.

He's also a very happy man who has his priorities straight. My hats off to him.
 
Dear X,

Look, you're the perfectionist. You're the one who always claims that, no matter what they do--music, painting, fiction, etc--an artist needs to be able to detach from criticism. You've always said that, if the person can't accept constructive criticism without getting angry at the critic, they have no business being in the artistic pursuits. And you're the one who's always said that feelings, in the end, don't matter; that a person had better get used to the idea that nobody gives a flying fuck as to how they feel about something, because (as it just so happens) that happens to be the truth.

Well, then. If you're to avoid hypocrisy, it's time to suck it up. You were told a true thing that also happened to hurt. So what? Show your steel, if you have any. Can you improve, or are you just going to cower under your bed and whimper?

no love,
~yourself
 
Dear X,

Today is your birthday.

I've missed you every year for the last eight, and while the pain has eased on every other day, this one still stabs at me.

I don't know why you didn't call me that night, or why you struck out on your own through the pain to spend your last evening with strangers, but of all of the bad things you did, it was the theft of my chance to say goodbye that hurts me the most. You should have called.

You didn't have to die alone.

Love,

Your Son
 
Dear X,

The tribe I belonged to died of alcohol poisoning years ago. Were it not for rigor mortis, it'd topple from the bar stool perch it currently inhabits.

j
 
Dear x
Yes, he is the most important person in my life. No, I won't jump off a bridge if he asked, because he would never ask me to do something to harm myself. I'm sorry you don't understand just how sick I was for almost three days. I'm sorry that talking to you on the phone for almost 2 hours wasn't long enough. I'm sorry you don't understand that he requested I go to bed at midnight to help me, not to be mean. I'm sorry you think I don't care about you. If you want the stuff you just sent me back, just say so.

I'm sorry you are sick so often yourself, but I sure the he** don't treat you like you have me the last few days. Pull your head out of your ass and see how selfish YOU are being. Not Him.

angrily,
me:mad:
 
Dear X,

Today is your birthday.

I've missed you every year for the last eight, and while the pain has eased on every other day, this one still stabs at me.

I don't know why you didn't call me that night, or why you struck out on your own through the pain to spend your last evening with strangers, but of all of the bad things you did, it was the theft of my chance to say goodbye that hurts me the most. You should have called.

You didn't have to die alone.

Love,

Your Son

:rose::rose:
 
Dear X,

You bore me. Honestly, I have no idea what you have to envy about my freaking life. I mean, give me a break. I've been in jail, rehab, gangster-run strip clubs, late nights in bathrooms of gay bars. I almost died from an overdose, have had my heart broken into a million pieces on more than one occasion, and I'm half-cocked nearly all the time. What's to envy? You're the one who is crazy if you want my life. Pffffffffffft.

LA
 
Dear X,

You bore me. Honestly, I have no idea what you have to envy about my freaking life. I mean, give me a break. I've been in jail, rehab, gangster-run strip clubs, late nights in bathrooms of gay bars. I almost died from an overdose, have had my heart broken into a million pieces on more than one occasion, and I'm half-cocked nearly all the time. What's to envy? You're the one who is crazy if you want my life. Pffffffffffft.

LA

*hugs* your way
 
Dear X,

Do you really think you are going to be able to handle my job with no problem when I'm gone for a month? You come in for a few minutes and ask if everything is ok, walk around doing nothing particular and then leave. If I wanted your job, I would have taken it years ago. There's several reasons I didn't go for it and you KNOW I could have had it if I pursued it. I think you need to put some thought into how hard it's going to be for you once I'm gone.


sincerely,

J.R.
 
Dear Superior Nut & Candy Company,

Your wasabi peas and cheddar sesame sticks are awesome. Why do you have to be all the way down on 40th St. in the warehouse district?

Why, oh why, did I not buy a pound of each instead of measly half pounds?

~Trin
 
Dear Superior Nut & Candy Company,

Your wasabi peas and cheddar sesame sticks are awesome. Why do you have to be all the way down on 40th St. in the warehouse district?

Why, oh why, did I not buy a pound of each instead of measly half pounds?

~Trin

Love the wasabi peas and nuts.
 
Dear X:

I am letting them go with you under protest, and with extreme misgivings. If they get so much as a papercut in your care, I will disembowel you and the blow-up doll.

And I almost hope you do try to pick them up from school after I told you not to- you will quickly discover that you have no rights to do so any longer, as you are on record as the parent who abandoned them- a year ago- after putting them and me in danger by placing a psychotic stalker bitch in my home. I left the damaged screen she tried to cut in order to break into my bedroom in place, and the police report is filed in triplicate with all appropriate sources.

Including the DFAC office that will be showing up to do a home study on you.

Merry Christmas!

The Ex
 
Dear non-Lit Secret Santa,

Thank you so much. You have no idea how badly we needed that. God bless and Merry Christmas to you. :rose:
 
Dear x
Yes, he is the most important person in my life. No, I won't jump off a bridge if he asked, because he would never ask me to do something to harm myself. I'm sorry you don't understand just how sick I was for almost three days. I'm sorry that talking to you on the phone for almost 2 hours wasn't long enough. I'm sorry you don't understand that he requested I go to bed at midnight to help me, not to be mean. I'm sorry you think I don't care about you. If you want the stuff you just sent me back, just say so.

I'm sorry you are sick so often yourself, but I sure the he** don't treat you like you have me the last few days. Pull your head out of your ass and see how selfish YOU are being. Not Him.

angrily,
me:mad:

:rose::rose:
 
Dear X,

You bore me. Honestly, I have no idea what you have to envy about my freaking life. I mean, give me a break. I've been in jail, rehab, gangster-run strip clubs, late nights in bathrooms of gay bars. I almost died from an overdose, have had my heart broken into a million pieces on more than one occasion, and I'm half-cocked nearly all the time. What's to envy? You're the one who is crazy if you want my life. Pffffffffffft.

LA

:rose::rose::kiss:
 
Dear Drivers on the UK's Motorways in South East England,

Snow and ice on the motorway network does not mean:

- That you should drive at 25 mph in the middle lane of a salted and gritted motorway because you are afraid of skidding off the hard shoulder or into the central barrier,

- That when the third (outside) lane is closed because of impacted ice that you should use it to overtake at 90 mph spraying ice over everyone else,

- That you should fail to clear your windscreen of ice except for a letterbox size hole in front of your eyes,

- That you should leave six inches of snow on your car roof and drive at 90 mph until it cracks off and sprays any car nearby,

- That you should have badly adjusted windscreen sprays that arc over your roof to spray the vehicles behind you but do nothing to clear your windscreen,

- That because you have a four wheel drive vehicle that you can drive as aggressively as possible because of course you'll always have traction on sheet ice...

Irritated Og
 
Dear Drivers on the UK's Motorways in South East England,

Snow and ice on the motorway network does not mean:

- That you should drive at 25 mph in the middle lane of a salted and gritted motorway because you are afraid of skidding off the hard shoulder or into the central barrier,

- That when the third (outside) lane is closed because of impacted ice that you should use it to overtake at 90 mph spraying ice over everyone else,

- That you should fail to clear your windscreen of ice except for a letterbox size hole in front of your eyes,

- That you should leave six inches of snow on your car roof and drive at 90 mph until it cracks off and sprays any car nearby,

- That you should have badly adjusted windscreen sprays that arc over your roof to spray the vehicles behind you but do nothing to clear your windscreen,

- That because you have a four wheel drive vehicle that you can drive as aggressively as possible because of course you'll always have traction on sheet ice...

Irritated Og

No different here. though I do enjoy watching ice and snow fly off the roof of a car or truck from a safe distance, I don't want to be anywhere ner those fuckers.
 
Dear X

Please let them be safe. It's been four days.

If S's team doesn't make it back, XX will go there himself. I know him. He won't rest until he finds each one and makes someone pay, even if it costs him his life.

Please don't let them be casualties of this war.
 
Dear X

Please let them be safe. It's been four days.

If S's team doesn't make it back, XX will go there himself. I know him. He won't rest until he finds each one and makes someone pay, even if it costs him his life.

Please don't let them be casualties of this war.


:rose::rose: <fingers crossed > <hug>
 
Dear X,

Thank you for listening when I told you that I didn't want to just skip over Christmas and pretend it didn't exist this year. Yes, it's sad that this is our first holiday season with no parents. But they wouldn't want us to just bypass this day and go straight to the new year.

I bought your present on EBay yesterday. I know you'll love it. No, I didn't spend too much money :rolleyes: And I know you've been sneaking around there too when you're on the computer, and I've resisted the temptation to look at your searches...barely, LOL.

I know this has been a difficult year, but 2010 will be better. It's time to move forward with our lives and not dwell in the past. None of those who love us would want us to do that.

Thank you for twenty wonderful Christmases together, and for loving me :kiss:
 
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