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Distance Domination-Support Thread

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Wow! Great research and conjecture on you're part. Kudos adakgirl.



Ok, wildone28 I'm pretty sure I know the reason behind your unusually nasty attitude now. If I am way off base here then I apologize .IF I am wrong. I don't know what happened..but this is what I think may have happened and if it did then my heart goes out to you,
I can't even imagine the kind of pain you must have gone through then and probably still feel now. I know that you have been badly hurt and damaged deeply inside yourself, by a man that you loved very much.

I see very clearly what lies at the core of your hate.
This hate and anger is not about innerslut ..it's about the love you see she has for her Master to be, and him for her.
Nor is it about all the other people you have attacked since you returned to lit. It's about you projecting your pain and anger on others here because Lit is where you met him.
Lit is where he courted you, seduced you and told you that he loved you. Lit is where you fell in love with him.

You two had probably been posting back and forth before this...but I picked your story up from 4-02 and ran with it.
He started you your very own thread on 4-14-02, in celebration of your 500th post. There you two flirted , talked dirty to each other
..and he said he loved you. That's where you fell in love with him . You two planned to meet, you counted down the weeks days and hours,
you couldn't wait to meet him.

He flew out to your place and you spent a week together... the week of 11-01-02 to 11- 8 -02 whereabouts.and then he flew home.
You posted here 11-11-02, 11-20-02, 11-23-02 & 11-28 -02 all seemed well, you were excited and joyous and full of love for him.
You thanked him and told him it was the best week of your life. You apologized for "having a cow" about how much you missed him.

He didn't reply until 12-03-03. You probably communicated with him by phn or IM's who knows.
Three months later 2-26-03 he stopped posting in your thread, didnt come back until what? 5 months later? 7-28-03

So somewhere between 2-03 and 7-03 that love of your life relationship all went to shit.

Throughout that whole thread from 4-02 until it ended 7-28-03 he was still calling u sweetpea and saying Love ya.
Then you both stopped on 7-28-03, he never came back and made his nic N/A.
You didn't come back until 3 YEARS later at the end of 2005 the day before Thanksgiving. You came back for one reason only, to wish
Him and his WIFE a Happy Thanksgiving. You said it should be their 1st Thanksgiving together as married couple. I could feel the residual pain in that post.

After that your posts in 06, 07 & 08 up until now have been filled with nothing but hate and anger towards others.
When you came here in 02 you were a very nice sweet person, you showed love and concern for friends you had met here.
You were completely different then... than you are now. THAT was the REAL you wildone28...
not this spiteful, foul mouthed nasty bitch of a person that you have morped into...because you lost him and you are alone
he ended up marrying another and he's not alone.

I am saddened and was taken aback when I realized at least the basics of what happened
It's a tragic thing when a man can take a extremely sweet, loving, caring woman and affect her life in such a drastically negative manner.
Don't continue to let him do that to you, it's been over a long time..you need to drop that luggage and get yourself back wildone28.
Click to expand...
 
The Sir i serve is many many hours away.

Tonight He gave me some verbal reprimands, because my subsister told Him something that i had gotten over...and this hurts.

i have to remember NOT to trust my subsister. And this also hurts.

Hugs everyone.
 
Sexualinnocent said:
The Sir i serve is many many hours away.

Tonight He gave me some verbal reprimands, because my subsister told Him something that i had gotten over...and this hurts.

i have to remember NOT to trust my subsister. And this also hurts.

Hugs everyone.
Click to expand...

That's quite unfortunate that it has to be that way. Did she give a reason why she did that... jealousy maybe? Although I am thousands of miles away from Master, hearing things like this makes me all the more happy that he does not intend to take another slave.

I hope it all works out, and that you'll be able to trust her again one day.
*big hug* :)
 
Sexualinnocent said:
The Sir i serve is many many hours away.

Tonight He gave me some verbal reprimands, because my subsister told Him something that i had gotten over...and this hurts.

i have to remember NOT to trust my subsister. And this also hurts.

Hugs everyone.
Click to expand...

Hummmmmmm did you ask her to keep it confidential between you two only? If you did not specify that it was confidential then you should not take away your trust in her or blame her for telling him.
Blame yourself for telling her about something you have gotten over, something you did not want brought up with him.

Many submissives tell their Dominants everything. Some Dominants ask things to find out information about others and if he asked her about what you two had talked about, then she would have to comply truthfully.
 
Well, in retrospect, i should have told Him about it, even when it wasn't an issue. i have sent Him an apology, and i will talk to her today.

It is important to make it right. And yes, He would expect her (or me) to be honest. i should have said it before she did.
 
Apology

tastychococakes said:
That's quite unfortunate that it has to be that way. Did she give a reason why she did that... jealousy maybe? Although I am thousands of miles away from Master, hearing things like this makes me all the more happy that he does not intend to take another slave.

I hope it all works out, and that you'll be able to trust her again one day.
*big hug* :)
Click to expand...

Sexualinnocent said:
The Sir i serve is many many hours away.

Tonight He gave me some verbal reprimands, because my subsister told Him something that i had gotten over...and this hurts.

i have to remember NOT to trust my subsister. And this also hurts.

Hugs everyone.
Click to expand...

Sexualinnocent,

I have been made aware of an error in my post today in response to your situation. I wanted to offer sympathy and understanding for what you were going through, but in my attempt, I inadvertently implied that it was better not to be involved in a polyamorous relationship. I sincerely apologize, and I hope you know that it was not my intention.
 
tastychococakes said:
Sexualinnocent,

I have been made aware of an error in my post today in response to your situation. I wanted to offer sympathy and understanding for what you were going through, but in my attempt, I inadvertently implied that it was better not to be involved in a polyamorous relationship. I sincerely apologize, and I hope you know that it was not my intention.
Click to expand...

It works for some, it doesn't for others. I think every one understands that. Even some one who it does work for, it may not work with every person involved.

I had one poly reltaionship that was misserable, only lasted a few months. On the other hand, I was involved in one that worked very well, even tho it eventually faded as well.

The idea doesn't work for you, That's all I took out of your post. *shrug*
 
Well our poly Family has worked well for U/us (yes, Sir is big on protocol) but this is something that will take time to resolve. It hurts me, but i have said what i think...and now it is His volley...He is patient and kind. That is why this is throwing me for a loop.

i just want this over and for me not to hurt.

Thanks everyone and i was not offended by anyone's replies!
 
I have some of the most dastardly surprises being set up for H. OMG, they're so good, I just hope T can get away long enough.

T: I need to fuck a crossdresser. Bad.

Me: Really? Would it work if I got you one?

I've got him worked up like crazy to expect cuckolding. Wait till he finds out what he'll really be doing.

I don't know how people keep up the intensity over the phone. It's weird, frankly we use the phone to mostly keep in touch and in a friendly way, and save the actual antics for when we're together and able to enjoy them most.
 
Keep in mind...

The Sir i serve is very private...and He has 3 of us. we all go through periods of growth. Right now i have been doubting Him a lot due to distance...and it is my fault...

i just want to get back to a good place with Him....this hurts a lot.
 
Getting too comfortable with the distance.

Anyone feel this way? I have been away from him for so long that it is starting to feel right. I no longer have that burning drive to move to be with him... In fact, I am starting to resent the idea of giving up everything to go be with him in a strange country.

*sigh*

As it stands, the wedding is still on but the move is canceled. Not sure how that is going to work. Except I get the feeling I am going to have to get use to flying for frequent visits.

Oh. And to make matters more complicated I jumped off the mono wagon landing smack dab in the middle of a poly puddle. Again.
 
kittenartist said:
Getting too comfortable with the distance.

Anyone feel this way? I have been away from him for so long that it is starting to feel right. I no longer have that burning drive to move to be with him... In fact, I am starting to resent the idea of giving up everything to go be with him in a strange country.
Click to expand...

Probably a coping mechanism. Part of you may be thinking that it is better to "get used to it" than to fret and miss him.

And he's in the UK, right? It's not that strange. Having lived in Europe, the UK is about as non-strange as an American can find.
 
kittenartist said:
Getting too comfortable with the distance.

Anyone feel this way? I have been away from him for so long that it is starting to feel right. I no longer have that burning drive to move to be with him... In fact, I am starting to resent the idea of giving up everything to go be with him in a strange country.

*sigh*

As it stands, the wedding is still on but the move is canceled. Not sure how that is going to work. Except I get the feeling I am going to have to get use to flying for frequent visits.

Oh. And to make matters more complicated I jumped off the mono wagon landing smack dab in the middle of a poly puddle. Again.
Click to expand...


Yup I know the feeling, and I'm no where close to actually moving (that's going to take my own wedding and I'm not entirely sure on his time line for that).

I went through a whole month where I kept thinking about all of the things "I will miss when I move". Not "would", "will" and not "if", "when". It was a very confusing period, and fortunately one where Jounar and I were not getting a whole lot of time together so I didn't boggle him down with it and bum him out. ( I don't want anything extending his time line if I can help it!)

I think it's natural when you're thinking about a big change.

And Homie is right to an extent. There are a lot stranger places to move too. I didn't find Ireland all that different. There was one major difference and that was how laid back and care free the whole country felt. But I'm told that's just an Irish thing. *shrug* Deffo one of the pros to moving there.
 
In exactly 168 hours I will sitting in a plane with J, in about 260 hours I will be sitting in a plane alone coming back home and probably crying my eyes sore. Now would be a good time for the time to start moving slower, even if it would mean longer days at work.

I can't believe I'm actually letting this happen, I can't believe we will be living in different countries. Again. I have to use my every bit of strength to focuse on the positive and be happy of the remaining 260 hours. I'm greedy and needy, clingy and falling apart. Most of the time I feel like I'm only a heartbeat away from being a sobbing mess when I think about not being with him. Again.
 
kittenartist said:
Getting too comfortable with the distance.

Anyone feel this way? I have been away from him for so long that it is starting to feel right. I no longer have that burning drive to move to be with him... In fact, I am starting to resent the idea of giving up everything to go be with him in a strange country.

*sigh*

As it stands, the wedding is still on but the move is canceled. Not sure how that is going to work. Except I get the feeling I am going to have to get use to flying for frequent visits.

Oh. And to make matters more complicated I jumped off the mono wagon landing smack dab in the middle of a poly puddle. Again.
Click to expand...

My husband and I were married for 3 years when you got orders to move to Germany. Because of some medical issues I had he was given an unaccompanied tour. I spent 3 months having surgery and recovering and then moved to be with him. Major move. I look back at that move as the one of the smartest decisions of my life. We took advantage of our time over there and travelled all over Europe. It was an amazing experience. Try looking at this as a chance of a lifetime. When will you again have the chance to live and travel in another country?
 
Thanks everyone.

It is not really the strange country part holding me back. I mean, granted, I have never lived outside of this lil part of California, but yeah... I see the amazing opportunity to live in England for awhile.

It is all the other things:

I am finally developing a positive relationship with my mother. And my sister for that matter. I am more independent now than I have ever been in my life. I have my dog who England is fussy about moving. I have my cat. I have a very weird relationship with another boy that I do not want to leave. And I do not want to make the move only to find myself alone when he gets deployed. Couple that with the fact that he cannot get leave, it will be months before we can be married, then all the paper work, then six months for my dog... by the time I make it over there it will be near enough time for him to move back to the states.

So. As it stands I am not moving. In fact, I am going to try and get back to school. After an eight year break I think I might be ready to further my education.
 
that sounds like a really tough decision. im still at the point where moving hasnt hit me yet. its only a few months away, but i havent really felt the "leaving everything" yet, and probably wont as long as i keep working.

i am getting more excited, but its also still unreal.
 
kittenartist said:
Thanks everyone.

It is not really the strange country part holding me back. I mean, granted, I have never lived outside of this lil part of California, but yeah... I see the amazing opportunity to live in England for awhile.

It is all the other things:

I am finally developing a positive relationship with my mother. And my sister for that matter. I am more independent now than I have ever been in my life. I have my dog who England is fussy about moving. I have my cat. I have a very weird relationship with another boy that I do not want to leave. And I do not want to make the move only to find myself alone when he gets deployed. Couple that with the fact that he cannot get leave, it will be months before we can be married, then all the paper work, then six months for my dog... by the time I make it over there it will be near enough time for him to move back to the states.

So. As it stands I am not moving. In fact, I am going to try and get back to school. After an eight year break I think I might be ready to further my education.
Click to expand...

Can totally relate to most of this.

There's a three month waiting period to get married in Ireland, tho Jounar tells me it took a year and ahalf for some friends of his. And that's if there is no issues with the paperwork we file proving our relationship. Then there's all the paperwork to get me a proper visa/perminate resident status.

Then there's the matter of all of my stuff. My turtles. My van. And getting work once I'm there (tho I think that will be the easiest of all seeing as McD's has already expressed interest in me).

But I'm planing on a perminate residence. If I were in your shoes, I don't think I'd move either, if he had less than 2 years left anyway.
 
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