Over the last several years I've had an off and on again online fling with a domme. It's mutually beneficial and we have great chemistry but live a long distance apart. The last time we began talking she had been mentioning finally meeting face to face up until she dropped a bomb that she had just started seeing someone and would not be talking to me unless it fell apart. To be clear, this has happened several times over the last five years; not only is it in my nature to forgive but I also believe as her sub it's my duty to be there if she decides to return. The problem is two-fold, as I'm sure all of the males reading this know, it is hard enough to find a domme let alone one you have chemistry with, aside from that it is obviously time to start treating the situation with some realism and not be her soul to walk on (I honestly don't think if she decided to return I would have the strength to ignore her). I feel alone and dejected on one end and simultaneous wonton want for my mistress on the other. Aside from this even is the possibility that her current relationship blossoms rather that deteriorates as the law of averages retracts from my favor. This brings on a whole new set of emotions. Any helpful advice would be appreciated
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4yourpleasureiam
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Face it, it is hard but this kind of thing is going to be the norm. I know that is easier said than done. Wish I could offer some better advice. Good luck
Collar_N_Cuffs
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So sorry you are going through this.
I think you spelled out your own answer... Right now you are in a lose/lose situation. If her relationship works out, you feel like you lose. If her relationship doesn't work out and she comes back, you know you are just delaying and perpetuating your problem.
The only ways to change your position from lose/lose are if 1.) she stops treating you this way or 2.) you stop her from treating you this way. As you pointed out, she has treated you this way several times over the past 5 years, so I think you can safely assume that it is you that needs to take action for change.
I understand your attachment and loyalty towards her as you described it in your post. As a sub it may be hard to take control of your own situation, but it appears to me that the only person who is going to help you out of this is you, yourself.
Hard as it may be, it sounds like you need to move on. The chemistry you cite is either only one sided, or she doesn't place the same value on it that you do.
I wish you the best, and strength to get there
I think you spelled out your own answer... Right now you are in a lose/lose situation. If her relationship works out, you feel like you lose. If her relationship doesn't work out and she comes back, you know you are just delaying and perpetuating your problem.
The only ways to change your position from lose/lose are if 1.) she stops treating you this way or 2.) you stop her from treating you this way. As you pointed out, she has treated you this way several times over the past 5 years, so I think you can safely assume that it is you that needs to take action for change.
I understand your attachment and loyalty towards her as you described it in your post. As a sub it may be hard to take control of your own situation, but it appears to me that the only person who is going to help you out of this is you, yourself.
Hard as it may be, it sounds like you need to move on. The chemistry you cite is either only one sided, or she doesn't place the same value on it that you do.
I wish you the best, and strength to get there
IrisAlthea
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It's tough, I get that but if you want things to change, you are going to have to work on that strength, I think.
Sometimes, even if you really want someone, you have to look at the terms and decide that they are not ok for you.
Sweetdaisymae
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Unfortunately you have set the precedent that you will allow this treatment of you.
Just because you are a sub, you do not have to be a doormat, and I hate to say, but she has walked over you many times.
Take some time out and reassess what you really want in your life. What is going to bring you happiness.
Take your time.
What do you want/need in a partner.
Don't settle, you have value too.
Just because you are a sub, you do not have to be a doormat, and I hate to say, but she has walked over you many times.
Take some time out and reassess what you really want in your life. What is going to bring you happiness.
Take your time.
What do you want/need in a partner.
Don't settle, you have value too.
