Justforthefun
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 13, 2012
- Posts
- 1,336
Who doesn’t enjoy some dirty chat, right? I know that I enjoy it quite a bit and have had some great fun talking with others of the same mindset.
But then there are the people that just don’t seem to get it. The ones that want to have some hot fun online but lack the courtesy or skill needed for an enjoyable time for both parties.
I’ve experienced enough these lately to compel me to express some thoughts on the matter. The following are my opinions and not to be intended as a guide or rule book when playing with anyone other than me.
Having said that, I am interested in hearing other people’s thoughts about it as well. So feel free to comment.
Permission
Always ask the first time at least! I love talking with new people but I like to know a bit about a person before getting to the naughty stuff. At the very least I need to know what a person is looking for to make sure it will work. Sending a message such as, “Suck my dick” first will definitely get you no where fast. The same goes with X-rated pics. Many, people on tumblr (myself included) have posts that it is ok for followers to send them naughty pics. It’s nice to have a few words to go with it to put it in to that context.
Honest communication
I am always up front about all hard limits I have when chatting. Be willing to do the same and it will be a much better experience! If you have a particular fetish, be up front about it as well. I can’t possibly list all my turn offs but I’m usually willing to incorporate others fantasies in to playing. However, it should have something for us both to enjoy. So, while you may think green jello enemas are the best part of sex, I’m not willing to spend a great deal of time on it.
Respect boundaries
No means no. Unless you’re roleplaying otherwise. If that is the case, it should be clearly communicated before hand. It should be an enjoyable time for everyone. If I feel my boundaries consistently pushed and disrespected I will not play. “You just need to let go and enjoy the moment”. No, I can’t ant do that because I no longer trust you to be respectful of my clearly stated boundaries. “You just haven’t tried it with the right person”. You are correct. You are also not that person. “You’re being shitty and disrespectful to my needs”. No. You are being disrespectful and manipulative. I get plenty of comments such as those above. Honestly, if a person speaks or acts in such a way (again, with the exception of clearly defined roleplaying situations) they are an abuser and should see help. No means no.
Be prepared for rejection
Sometimes the spark is just not there. It is not meant as a personal slight. Often I end up chatting with people about more mundane things if our sexual interest don’t mesh. In some ways it’s more intimate than naughty chat and can developed in to friendship. It’s a big world out there. Keep trying and you will find the right fit!
Use your imagination!
It’s supposed to be fun and arousing for both people. I can’t even begin to count the number of times that I’ve drop out of a chat because it seems to be one sided. The occasional “mmmmmm, yes!”, etc is fine but every response can’t be that way. If I take the time to write out a descriptive and erotic message, the other person should at least attempt the same.
Fantasy, reality and pictures
I’m happy to role play fantasies and characters. Often this is much different from reality. I’m typically clear about my appearance but I’m ok with pretending otherwise for another’s fantasy. Even after clarifying that I still get picture requests that will ruin that illusion. Likewise, if your going to pretend to be young, smooth and muscular, don’t send me pics that contradicts that image. If you are wanting pics be willing and able to send some in return. No one likes pic collectors. Also, don’t send pics that aren’t personally owned. That’s rude and creepy.
Just a few random thoughts.
But then there are the people that just don’t seem to get it. The ones that want to have some hot fun online but lack the courtesy or skill needed for an enjoyable time for both parties.
I’ve experienced enough these lately to compel me to express some thoughts on the matter. The following are my opinions and not to be intended as a guide or rule book when playing with anyone other than me.
Having said that, I am interested in hearing other people’s thoughts about it as well. So feel free to comment.
Permission
Always ask the first time at least! I love talking with new people but I like to know a bit about a person before getting to the naughty stuff. At the very least I need to know what a person is looking for to make sure it will work. Sending a message such as, “Suck my dick” first will definitely get you no where fast. The same goes with X-rated pics. Many, people on tumblr (myself included) have posts that it is ok for followers to send them naughty pics. It’s nice to have a few words to go with it to put it in to that context.
Honest communication
I am always up front about all hard limits I have when chatting. Be willing to do the same and it will be a much better experience! If you have a particular fetish, be up front about it as well. I can’t possibly list all my turn offs but I’m usually willing to incorporate others fantasies in to playing. However, it should have something for us both to enjoy. So, while you may think green jello enemas are the best part of sex, I’m not willing to spend a great deal of time on it.
Respect boundaries
No means no. Unless you’re roleplaying otherwise. If that is the case, it should be clearly communicated before hand. It should be an enjoyable time for everyone. If I feel my boundaries consistently pushed and disrespected I will not play. “You just need to let go and enjoy the moment”. No, I can’t ant do that because I no longer trust you to be respectful of my clearly stated boundaries. “You just haven’t tried it with the right person”. You are correct. You are also not that person. “You’re being shitty and disrespectful to my needs”. No. You are being disrespectful and manipulative. I get plenty of comments such as those above. Honestly, if a person speaks or acts in such a way (again, with the exception of clearly defined roleplaying situations) they are an abuser and should see help. No means no.
Be prepared for rejection
Sometimes the spark is just not there. It is not meant as a personal slight. Often I end up chatting with people about more mundane things if our sexual interest don’t mesh. In some ways it’s more intimate than naughty chat and can developed in to friendship. It’s a big world out there. Keep trying and you will find the right fit!
Use your imagination!
It’s supposed to be fun and arousing for both people. I can’t even begin to count the number of times that I’ve drop out of a chat because it seems to be one sided. The occasional “mmmmmm, yes!”, etc is fine but every response can’t be that way. If I take the time to write out a descriptive and erotic message, the other person should at least attempt the same.
Fantasy, reality and pictures
I’m happy to role play fantasies and characters. Often this is much different from reality. I’m typically clear about my appearance but I’m ok with pretending otherwise for another’s fantasy. Even after clarifying that I still get picture requests that will ruin that illusion. Likewise, if your going to pretend to be young, smooth and muscular, don’t send me pics that contradicts that image. If you are wanting pics be willing and able to send some in return. No one likes pic collectors. Also, don’t send pics that aren’t personally owned. That’s rude and creepy.
Just a few random thoughts.
If a guy wants to get to know me first he gets friend zoned (I can't help it), and we never end up having sext. It happens every time I don't have sext with a person first. But the people I have sext first with, we keep on sexting and become friends. I want to make sure my would-be friends are good lovers. 
