Distance Domination-Support Thread

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myinnerslut said:

thank you both cutiemouse and lil_slave_rose for your thoughts on this topic, and for helping me work up the courage to have this conversation with Sir as well. i go back away tommorrow, but ill have a chance tommorrow mornign to speak with him in person before i go. hopefully he'll see where im coming from with this, and while i dont excpect him to lessen the punishment he has already given, hopefully in the future he will take this into account. perhaps ill look at this thread with him, as i doubt i will word anything the way it should be worded when i speak to him(he normally doesnt look at lit, though he will if i ask him to specifically look at this page). you were both a big help to me.

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you're welcome and good luck

I would say Communication is KING in long distance relationships period, and even more so in the D/s long distance relationship. You have to tell him what you are feeling or thinking. The ultimate choice is his, but he needs to know your view point on it.

Another thing, you say his punishment isnt helping you change. As far as I'm concerned, most change comes from within. If you do not desire the change in question, whether subconciously or consciously, the change is not likely to be made. In which case you will continue to be unhappily punished and he may become very frustrated with your lack of results and become jaded. You really have to communicate with him. He may be your Master, but he is still your partner and certainly not a mind reader. Perhaps you should not think of these "issues" as punishable offenses but oversights you need to work harder to remember. Write yourself notes, keep the collar near to you at all times, anything that might work.

That way you can not only rid yourself of the angst involved in dissapointing him (I think all subs know how terrible a feeling that can be) but you may also earn his unexepcted praise and joy in the fact that you show improvement without having to have a punishment issued. Maybe you should not focus on the negative attention a punishment gives, but the joy and praise an act already forseen and anticpiated can shower down upon you. Make wearing the collar when he wants a positive thing to look forward to, instead of a punishment waiting to happen. I dunno if that made sense or helped, I am not a very articulate person. I only speak from my own experience with my Master, having been at this stage with him before and knowing what a wretched feeling it can be.

Auraka6669 said:

Good times, spent time with my family... Then spent time with my girl doing some rather vanilla things !

All in all another great day for me

Tomorrow, not looking so well. Black Friday. /sigh

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By your comment on Black Friday, I get a feeling we share a certain hell...

Hope yours went as smooth as possible...

Bandit58 said:

captians wench I apologise if anything I wrote upset you. From what I have read of your relationship you do not intend for it to remain online. You have plans to meet and I'm assuming that if things work out well that there will be relocation at some stage.

What I am not understanding are those who for whatever reason choose to do online only, with no plans to ever meet or have a relationship in r/l. For me, and I am speaking only for myself, that would not be enough.

FWIW I moved to another country, a decision not taken lightly considering I left behind my family and was coming to live in a city where before I was strictly a country girl. We planned a 3 week stay in His home (because of His health He cannot travel). By the end of the first week we knew I would be coming back permanently. It took 6 weeks to organise my move. Luckily Australia and New Zealand have an arrangement whereby there is free movement between them, the only thing necessary is a stamp in your passport and you can stay as long as you like. I am hoping to eventually have dual citizenship (it will be much easier once I am married to an Australian)

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You'll have to forgive me. I'm having some issues come up that I thought were over and delt with and I've been staying with my mom which has not allowd me to be around to chat with Master in almost 4 days, so I'm a bit moody and touchy. Marrage makes citizenship in most contries a lot easier I think. And I'm glad things worked out for you. I think I'm just a bit lonesome for my Master, and I got news this week which will once again set me back a bit on our meet. *sigh* Again I ask forgiveness for my sincitivity, I'm not myself right now.

MasterPhoenix said:

By your comment on Black Friday, I get a feeling we share a certain hell...

Hope yours went as smooth as possible...

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*giggles*

fortunitly by the time I got to work, the maddness was over.

Ahhhh!

How did you manage to go so long with your Master before meeting him? I'm finding that, with my sub, we won't be able to meet for *quite* a long time (at least two or three years), and although we are very attached, I'm worried that online/phone contact won't be enough. Any guidance in this respect would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Red.

s_red830 said:

How did you manage to go so long with your Master before meeting him? I'm finding that, with my sub, we won't be able to meet for *quite* a long time (at least two or three years), and although we are very attached, I'm worried that online/phone contact won't be enough. Any guidance in this respect would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Red.

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And thanks for your replies, MP.

Any time... and that AIM Yahoo offer is an open one.

It always helps to have a friend who has walked your path.

s_red830 said:

This is mainly directed to lsr and Master Phoenix simply because I believe they went 3 years without meeting eachother but managed to keep up a great relationship, but whoever can offer advice is certainly free to chime in.

How did you manage to go so long with your Master before meeting him? I'm finding that, with my sub, we won't be able to meet for *quite* a long time (at least two or three years), and although we are very attached, I'm worried that online/phone contact won't be enough. Any guidance in this respect would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Red.

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it has not been an easy path by no means, and throw into the mix that when Him and first started out there was someone else in MY life. we had to overcome ALOT of hurdles along the way, and there have been plenty of times both of us just wanted to give up, if you read my sig you will see the words that i live by. i made it my motto when that song came out because it's all true for me. i WOULD and DID withstand anything just to hold His hand and i'd give it all, for us, and NOT ever give up until we were together r/t.

i love Him, i have loved Him pretty much since day one. i know that seems odd and some probably won't believe me. but from the first time we talked, we just clicked (though i had to convince Him of this *giggles*) the only advise i can give is to say, if you love him, if you truly believe it's 'right' then don't give up until it IS. in the end, the very first time i saw His face in r/l i wanted to cry, i wanted to run to Him and jump into His arms but i was so shocked that it was finally real that all i could do was stand there, in shock and of course a shyness came across me that i never thought would. i'm getting off topic, but like i said, if it's meant to be..it will. lots of Phone communication is what has helped us through it. we talk on the phone ALWAYS minus the time we are at work or sleeping. cams help also. communication is key and there was a time i was not communicating with Him and we almost lost it all, so please please please keep those lines of communication OPEN. i'm hoping something i said will strike you, and help you through this. also if you ever need to chat, cry, scream or whatever, my PM box is ALWAYS open.

P.S. you can call me rose

lil_slave_rose said:

it has not been an easy path by no means, and throw into the mix that when Him and first started out there was someone else in MY life. we had to overcome ALOT of hurdles along the way, and there have been plenty of times both of us just wanted to give up, if you read my sig you will see the words that i live by. i made it my motto when that song came out because it's all true for me. i WOULD and DID withstand anything just to hold His hand and i'd give it all, for us, and NOT ever give up until we were together r/t.

i love Him, i have loved Him pretty much since day one. i know that seems odd and some probably won't believe me. but from the first time we talked, we just clicked (though i had to convince Him of this *giggles*) the only advise i can give is to say, if you love him, if you truly believe it's 'right' then don't give up until it IS. in the end, the very first time i saw His face in r/l i wanted to cry, i wanted to run to Him and jump into His arms but i was so shocked that it was finally real that all i could do was stand there, in shock and of course a shyness came across me that i never thought would. i'm getting off topic, but like i said, if it's meant to be..it will. lots of Phone communication is what has helped us through it. we talk on the phone ALWAYS minus the time we are at work or sleeping. cams help also. communication is key and there was a time i was not communicating with Him and we almost lost it all, so please please please keep those lines of communication OPEN. i'm hoping something i said will strike you, and help you through this. also if you ever need to chat, cry, scream or whatever, my PM box is ALWAYS open.

P.S. you can call me rose

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I admire both of you for having that kind of strength and stamina.

Like you, rose )), I "clicked" with him the first time I talked to him. Thankfully, we both have cams.

I'll keep your advice in mind. Thanks so much.

s_red830 said:

How did you manage to go so long with your Master before meeting him? I'm finding that, with my sub, we won't be able to meet for *quite* a long time (at least two or three years), and although we are very attached, I'm worried that online/phone contact won't be enough. Any guidance in this respect would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Red.

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It's been 14 months since I first submitted to my master....and a meet is still 7 months to a year away. It's getting harder....I think maybe because of the holidays right now. I ache for him. I miss him terribly when we don't get to chat, and being 5 hours apart, some times life interupts.

There really is nothing I can say as to guidence. It's heart wrenching, it hurts, but I love him so much I'm willing to cope. There are nights that I think I'll go mad if I don't feel him, but ofcorse I don't feel him, and to the best of my knowledge I haven't gone mad. There are times that I wish I had some one closer to me, hell I'd even say at least some one in the same contenent. But the thought of some one else really doesn't apeal to me. It wouldn't be fair to some one else. I love Jounar, distance doesn't prevent that and a different partner wouldn't either.

If your sub's worth it, she'll hang in there, and the same for you. But some people can't handle that type of obstical, so be understanding if she can't.

the captians wench said:

It's been 14 months since I first submitted to my master....and a meet is still 7 months to a year away. It's getting harder....I think maybe because of the holidays right now. I ache for him. I miss him terribly when we don't get to chat, and being 5 hours apart, some times life interupts.

There really is nothing I can say as to guidence. It's heart wrenching, it hurts, but I love him so much I'm willing to cope. There are nights that I think I'll go mad if I don't feel him, but ofcorse I don't feel him, and to the best of my knowledge I haven't gone mad. There are times that I wish I had some one closer to me, hell I'd even say at least some one in the same contenent. But the thought of some one else really doesn't apeal to me. It wouldn't be fair to some one else. I love Jounar, distance doesn't prevent that and a different partner wouldn't either.

If your sub's worth it, she'll hang in there, and the same for you. But some people can't handle that type of obstical, so be understanding if she can't.

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Thanks. I'll try to be. Hell, I'm not sure I can handle that kind of obstacle... *sigh*

Best of luck to you and Jounar... I'm sure you'll be able to make it through, you seem very, very dedicated.

I got to see Master's playful side lately

Luciden said:

I got to see Master's playful side lately

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ooooh! do tell!

Well, we've been teasing eachother a lot lately, and he hasn't punished me for purposely teasing him and making him all horny before he had to go to work. hehe ^_^

Luciden said:

Well, we've been teasing eachother a lot lately, and he hasn't punished me for purposely teasing him and making him all horny before he had to go to work. hehe ^_^

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*giggles* be careful, i did that, without 'punishment' for a long time and then one day Master decided to 'get me back' i was ordered to Masturbate myself to orgasm every hour BUT was not allowed to orgasm. i think it was like 5 hours all together..may have been less but yea...it was..interesting to say the least . i was ready to attack Him when He got home from work *grins* but seriously it wasn't a punishment it was just His way of showing me He's in control and though i was teasing Him ..He could do it worse to me..LOL ..it worked!

ChromeCollar said:

I am glad you found what you were looking for Boob. Please keep us informed, and dont forget to share the sordid details! *waggles eyebrows*

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Thanks ChromeCollar *smiles...

By the by, what do you mean by "sordid"..... I am very very innocent you see! *winks

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Boobsqueeezer

Luciden said:

oooo! yay! Boob got a slave!

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oooo! yay.......you noticed it so late *winks (just kidding Luci)

lol

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Boobsqueeezer

yes, even I am a member of collarme and had some calling me "fake", "wanker" and received messages like "Online is NOT real" and such....just as it was here even in literotica. I am surprised that most fail to recognise that honesty, truthfulness, respect and control which are the main foundations of the lifestyle does NOT necessarily need a physical presence though physical presence can make things easier.

Yes, I feel true online commitment is tougher and more difficult and so on the basis of commitment, once achieved online is actually even superior to the r/l. This is because, inspite of knowing that the OPYL might not find out if you infarct, still the opyl is honest and truthful to the infarct and confesses it! Well, this is just my opinion!


One thing that I found in collarme was that inspite of many messages that I sent and received....it is sad that I could muster just 2 significant people. One-> A friend in lifestyle and the other ->My slave.

When I consider how I have evolved into what I am now, and how WE (Me and My Online Slave) will evolve in future....well it is intriguing and inspiring.

She was NOT interested in sharing Me and so I ended my search(I had earlier planned to stop it after getting 2 opyls for myself since that is all I can manage due to time constraints).

Retrospect:
And, the Me who earlier(when I joined lit.) was naive and looking for just casual online ********.....and later realised My calling to control and accidentally fell into r/l scenario for 2 yrs ... etc; this re-discovery of D/s lifestyle o/l is refreshing.

s_red830 said:

How did you manage to go so long with your Master before meeting him? I'm finding that, with my sub, we won't be able to meet for *quite* a long time (at least two or three years), and although we are very attached, I'm worried that online/phone contact won't be enough. Any guidance in this respect would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance,
Red.

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hmm.....W/we all think this is impossible and such but what happens is that we eventually realise that W/we were wrong

Online relationship has the inherent ability to build lot of trust and respect since it is in the absence of the PYL. When you get together in r/l it gets all the more interesting and really enjoyable. I would compare this to a situation where a pyl is given the rights to "orgasm" (r/l meeting) after a long long long "orgasm denial"(o/l or phone contact).

I am yet to understand what kind of guidance you require and opyl/OPYL would be glad to share/give suggestions and actually the purpose of the thread is to support those in temporary or long term Online/Distant D/s Lifestyle.

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Boobsqueeezer

Luciden said:

Well, we've been teasing eachother a lot lately, and he hasn't punished me for purposely teasing him and making him all horny before he had to go to work. hehe ^_^

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But expect to be caught at an unexpected time *winks

@chromecollar: I do have the idea of either brining in My slave to write/post here or in some blog. But right now, I am eager to "collar" her and "explore" her fully. *smiles....

just a few personal issues for both of us (career issues for Me and emotional issues for her) that is postponing the "collaring ceremony" but it is a pleasurable pain when W/we both think of the "collaring". And I am just planning whether to make it simple or make it elaborate......not decided as yet and this is another reason that the "collaring" is delayed.

And though, I am not much into asking My slave to maintain journal logs, I do recognise that sometimes journals do help to analyse and improve things... and so might actually ask her to maintain one!

opinions sought

I was planning to make the "distant Domination -suppor thread" to be the one-stop shop for that....but realise that we might eventually need to branch out to be ultimately useful. I feel a separate thread with all links (websites/resources) that might be useful in long distance D/s lifestyle would be a good start rather than posting them here in this thread mentioned above.

If you all feel that such a thread would be useful, we shall start one such thread.

I feel, there is also a need for discussion on the scenes and plays in o/l lifestyle, the punishment/reward techniques etc so that we call can discuss them in more detail.....

So, this thread will continue to be the support thread to discuss the Distant Domination but the new threads will deal more into the scenes, plays and the other regarding the useful links (those in lit as well as in web).

All of Y/your opinions sought regarding this...

...and thanks to all again for keeping this thread active and running.
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Boobsqueeezer