The Isolated Blurt Thread XVII : Squish Me Like You Mean It!

Old Today, 09:47 AM
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whatsherface
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Suck it.

Bare it.

Nice pans!

Saint Peter said:

I am down to three plus the rules thread.

If Firefox brought back the nuclear iggy widget I would never see any of you fuckers.

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When Firefox rewrote their greasemonkey interface which crippled nuke iggy, I'd had enough. I've been a major Firefox fan through the years but this was a burned bridge too far. (mixed metaphor, sorry). I decamped to Chrome.

phantom4533 said:

Boston vs LA

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Sooo... blurt thread XVII : AJ is STILL a Douchebag?

every time i see a new crush game i think that maybe this time i will be able to play it and get ahead of princess lorelei only to find out shes a 100 levels above me already

This was the slowest blurt thread in history.

You don't have to be pro Trump to be concerned about an army headed for our border.

Those potstickers revved me up.

I need a life.

*shivering*

Where is my leaf peeping ?

spacekowboy said:

Sooo... blurt thread XVII : AJ is STILL a Douchebag?

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AJ is STILL NOT a republican!

Snowflakes. As in little flakes of snow, falling.

spacekowboy said:

Sooo... blurt thread XVII : AJ is STILL a Douchebag?

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Dodgers or my Sox? Get your game on. Bets?

I love bread machines, but I'm really shitty at slicing bread.

CandiCame said:

I love bread machines, but I'm really shitty at slicing bread.

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My bread always comes out to dense. Brick like. What am I doing wrong

silver gurl said:

My bread always comes out to dense. Brick like. What am I doing wrong

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Probably not putting enough liquid or gluten in it if I had to guess? Every machine is different and you have to fuck around with the instructions- I've got two, a full loaf maker and a half-loaf maker, and that half-loaf (is it 5 cup capacity? I can't remember off the top of my head. I think one is 10 and one is 5.) Tends to come out shit if you don't get the measurements PERFECT.

But i think it's that if the liquid is too high it comes out fluffy and falling apart- you lose half the loaf trying to get the paddle out- and if it's too much solid it comes out dense as a brick and only good for making stuffing and other shit that you're gonna soak anyway. French toast.

I don't know how to get chocolate chips to not melt- even if I put them in at the tail end, like after the kneading and everything, it still melts into streaks. It's pretty, but it's BULLSHIT. Bitesize loves chocolate banana bread, but nobody can make it, unless you want to kneed break and bake it in the oven, and I'm not doing that. I'm not going back.

Even the shitty chocolate banana bread is great for school mornings though. Just toast it and put some peanut butter on it and you don't have to wash cereal bowls. Everyone loves the shit out of it. I'd say I make two loaves of that a week sometimes. The slicing is just a pain in the ass- I always wind up making them about twice as thick as they should be, which is extra calories for no reason. I need to get one of those wooden bread slicer things, but I can't make myself spend money on it, because the whole point of baking bread was that it would be cheaper than BUYING the specialty breads.

Well, that and we would know what was in it, because the gf is fucking insane and wants to know what food is made of. Who gives a shit? I once ate a pack of sweettarts I found in an apartment I moved into after someone else had moved out and left their couch- which had a half-eaten pack of sweettarts under it. I didn't die. No one cares what food is made of, -candy related name for GF here that I haven't thought of-. Get the fuck over it.

Same reason we don't eat pretzels in this house, even though they're fucking delicious. I'm not kneeding them and waiting for the rise and rolling them out and all that shit, and gf doesn't like the "preservatives" and shit going to Bitesize like I don't fucking feed her candy when we're out alone together.

If you need extra gluten, and sometimes you do for bread machines, see if there's an Amish market near you. That's where I go because those Amish folks must not know how capitalism works. Wheat gluten is like $7-$10 in a grocery store and those dumb sonsofbitches sell it for $3. It gives you extra protein, too, if you wanna be a MAAAANNNN about it.

silver gurl said:

Dodgers or my Sox? Get your game on. Bets?

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Do you realize how difficult it is for me to choose either of these teams??
Which teams fan base do I dislike the most?

It's like Sofa's choice.

As in Sofa King tired of the Angels underachieving.

Oh, also, you might not be using enough yeast or putting it in in the right order.

For some reason that escapes me, a lot of recipes say to put the sugar in with the dry shit- which is fucking stupid? I have no idea why that's a thing. Put the warm water, yeast, and sugar or honey or whatever the yeast are gonna eat in first, let them fart it up for like 5-10 minutes without turning the machine on, until it starts to get that brown foamy shit, you know what I'm talking about. It has a name, but I can't remember it. It'll smell like yeast farts, which for some reason humanity has decided smells delicious. THEN put the rest of the shit in according to the recipe.

I did this by default because I've been baking bread my whole life, like even before I got a machine, and when I read the order I knew it was wrong because that's how science works. You have to feed your yeast and let them have time to eat before you add your- PROOF. PROOF THE YEAST. THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING OF. Shit, sorry, stream of consciousness, i'm on mobile and it's hard to go back. Before you add your other ingredients.

Goddamn, put this post next to my chicken soup posts and get a REAL good idea of how I cook. In a food daze.

Also, just to show how lazy I am, when I say "school mornings" I mean like... 11am sometimes.

Fresh sheets