The Long Road Home (closed)

"This does not have to be hard, my leige. I am aware that I have made mistakes in my past. Mistakes that may still very well cost me my life, but they were my own and in no way reflect my father's character. To remove him from his seat would be the tear out the very heart of your country." She said, her voice soft but strong.

"I was a stupid girl with a stupid grudge. I would not begrudge you punishment against me. Strip me bare and parade me about the streets of Ireland. Lash me in the town square until my back is torn and bleeding. It isn't any less than what I deserve."
 
"The people demand jus' tha' sort of thing..." He muttered. "All Ireland an' th' Isles are looking for you t'pay for everythin' you've done... But I can' do that. Not t'you. So I have a better plan, but you can' stay 'ere if I carry it out. You'll 'ave to change your name, an' go somewhere out o' reach of Monaghan. An' you can't ever go back to any place where people know you. But you'll live, tha's what I'm worried about."
 
Sarah stood there like a stone, unmoving and without an expression on her face as he told her his judgement. Slowly, she shook her head, that stubborn look coming to her features that she was known for.

"I can't leave Mummy." She said softly. "Not when she's ill."
 
MacHale sighed, "Y'make everything so hard t'do, Sarah..." Everyone knew he could never hurt Jessie. "Listen... you stay til she's well, but tha's it," he warned. "I know you love 'er, I know she loves you, but you can't stay. You're riskin' your parents' lives by being 'ere. You're riskin' the life o' your wolf too, an' anyone else from your old life that you're keepin' close... I'm riskin' my own by not killing you on sight..."

He stepped forward and hugged her tight, whispering, "What 'appened to my favorite little girl...? Why'd she go off an' throw away 'er future...? You would've been a Queen, Sarah..." She'd always heard him considering making her his heir, but he'd never gone through with it.
 
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Sarah let out a sigh as she was hugged tightly, the whispered words against her ear breaking her heart. She had no idea how many people she'd effected along the way with her war. Now she would have to run, to hide like a coward...

"Her heart was broken and torn to pieces by her only sister." She murmured back softly. "And nothing would stand in my way in making everyone else hurt."

She pulled back slightly and stared at him in the eyes. "But I will not leave this keep. Mummy and Da need me. Even after she's healed, they need me. I'll prove to everyone that I'm not the witch they think I am."
 
"Y'can' prove that to a wife who's lost 'er husband, or to a mother what's lost 'er son t'that war, Sarah," Bernard tried to reason. "Over five-hundred Irishmen died, Sarah, an' more were injured. An' that's not even half what Norway suffered, not even a quarter o' what Scotland lost. You're not safe..."
 
"Do you think I care if I'm safe?" Sarah asked him. "Why should I care? I killed hundreds. I deserve everything that those people wish to do to me. And I will gladly take it."

She pulled herself from him arms and sucked in a deep breath. "You always told me that a person might not always be honorable. I'm far from it. I want it known that I am here not because of my family. I'm here because Ireland is my home. I'm here because I don't believe that there is anywhere in this world that I'll ever feel safe. I could go to the ends of the earth and there would still be people that remembered the great battle."

"Let them throw their stones. Let them stab me if they wish. Let them burn me at the stake. It's no less than what I deserve." She turned her eyes towards him and smiled ruefully. "Sarah Monaghan died a long time ago. Her heart was ripped from her body and torn into pieces, leaving behind a shell. What do I care what happens to this shell?"
 
"You might not care... but your Ma does, your father does... I do. An' so do the people who loved you before all this madness. We still love you." Bernard shook his head. "Our Sarah is locked away somewhere, an' we want her safe from th'people who never knew tha' loving young woman who changed so suddenly. We don't need to know why you changed, we jus' need you to be safe..." He turned from her and made his way out, muttering to himself, "Blasted cruel fortune..."
 
Sarah let out a sigh as he left the room, muttering about how there was a Sarah that was still trapped inside of her. No one believed that she wasn't the girl that she use to be. They wouldn't accept it. That made her heart clench tightly and she turned to leave the room herself.

It was an hour later when she found herself curled up in her favorite window seat, looking over the scenery of her familiar home. It was raining, dreary, much like her mood.
 
Everyone had been leaving her alone for the most part. Every so often she could hear strains of conversation between her father and dear uncle, and then Ian's footsteps as he went by. He had a particular step, heavy and thudding heel to toe. It was the stride of an often-exhausted, hardworking man. And then there came a point in the silence aside from the tap of rain where Shia was suddenly at he'd side. She'd learned long ago that werecreatures rarely made a sound without meaning to.
 
"They want me to go." She said softly to Shia. "But I refused."

"They think that one day the old Sarah will come back and no matter what I tell them, I can't convince them that she's long gone." She let out a long sigh, never turning from the window.
 
"She is gone," Shia nodded. "But the new Sarah has some of the same traits. That's what they hold on to. You'll always be the same person in their eyes because they can't believe you'd be anyone else. It's something parents and caretakers can't get over... I myself still have trouble sometimes." Shia wrapped his arms around her like he always used to when she was little. He was a wonderful constant and a steadfast column.
 
Sarah sighed and gripped Shia tightly, her eyes closing as he provided her the comfort that she needed.

"How do I show them that I'm not a threat?" She murmured to him, needing council from someone that knew she wasn't that girl anymore.
 
"You show them by simply doing what is right and coming to help the people even if it's not your help they want. You show your goodwill and gentility, somewhat like your parents. Never treat anyone as lesser except those who hurt the people you defend. Never allow the higher ranks to treat you with anything less than the respect you deserve." Shia laid his head against her own. "Above all... be yourself, not what others want you to be."
 
Sarah nodded slightly as Shia pressed his head against her own. He had always been there for her, giving her the advice that her family couldn't. Unfortunately he could save her from herself. That was what she really needed in her life.

"They all want me to run because they're scared for me." She said softly. "As much as I would like to see foreign lands and travel, I know my place is here."
 
"Why is your place here, though?" Shia asked. "What will be holding you here in the years to come Sarah?" Of course, that brought up the idea of after her parents were gone. Surely Monaghan wouldn't be left to her, would it? What then would she be there for?
 
"Where else do I have, Shia? Cassie took away the only home I ever thought I'd have. Ireland is where I belong." She tried to explain, her thoughts all jumbled as Shia's grip tightened to sooth her agitation.
 
"You belong wherever your heart is set," Shia whispered. "And you know Ian and I would follow you to the ends of the Earth if you decided that was where you felt at home. You know we would see to it that you had a home and we'd break our backs working to get it for you."
 
Sarah was quiet for a long moment before she turned and pressed her cheek against his furry chest, tears leaking from her eyes as she let his words sink in. She wanted to remain in Monaghan. She wanted to be the girl that everyone knew she could be but she wasn't so sure that she could ever shake away the shadows of her past.

"Here is where my heart is." She murmured. "Even if I can't stay here in the keep, I want to remain here. A little home in the valley...even that would be beautiful."
 
"That may well be what we arrange," Shia spoke in his comforting, low rumble. Such a sound had been her safe haven from nightmares and terrifying sick-in-the-head men when she was a little girl and up to her beginning to blossom into a young woman that men looked at like they were bargaining for a prized mare. Stephen had sheltered her from most things of that caliber, but Shia always defended her.

Now was no different. If someone tried to hurt her, Shia would die before he allowed real harm to find her.
 
"I have no money for that." Sarah murmured miserably, her tears wetting his fur as he soothed her, her eyes drooping as the sleepless nights caught up with her.
 
"As I've said. Ian and I will make it so." Shia scooped her up off her feet like he always had since the day she could stand as a toddler, and he held her like he'd held her since the day she was born. "Sleep, sweetheart," he whispered. "I'll be watching over you as I always have." He carried her to her bed and laid her beneath the covers to let her sleep.
 
Sarah's fingers sank into his thick fur coat as he lifted her off her feet and held her tight. She never had to worry when he was near. He would watch over her, make sure she was safe and cared for. With a sigh, she allowed herself to sleep, waking only once as he tucked her beneath her blankets. Her eyes found his and she felt the need to cry again, but she pushed those thoughts away and faded into the oblivion that sleep offered her.
 
Shia remained at her side til she was well asleep, and he ended up falling asleep in the chair beside her. When she woke, it was long past midnight and she could see Ian through her window, sitting in her mother's small orchard. she'd always known he smoked with his cob pipe, and there he sat with it, looking up at the stars. She could see him best when he inhaled and the ember in the pipe grew brighter.
 
Slipping from the bed, Sarah pulled on her heavy cloak to fight off the chill outside. Leaving Shia asleep, she make her way outside into the orchard. She was quiet as she found her way to Ian's side, sitting on a stump next to him as she looked up at the stars as well.

"Your mother use to read the stars." She said softly. "Do you know what they say?"
 
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