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Old 05-18-2004, 08:50 AM   #1
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Cool Let's talk about sex, baby....

is there any way i can avoid the following descriptions of orgasms??!!
waves, pinacles, peaks and spirals
abyss, passion, pleasure, dizzy and delightful
i promise the next story i write will not include.... "... it was a good lay and i had an awesome orgasm"
however....
i get stuck in those flowery descriptions and i dont mean to negate the wonderful power of orgasm it just occurs to me that theres gatta be a better way that even Roget's can't seem to enlighten.
so, i invite you all to write a description of an orgasm, no matter how large or small... lets see what we can *cum* up with... (and i do not care, obviously, if you end your sentences with a prepostion)
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Old 05-18-2004, 08:53 AM   #2
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I don't have any good one of my own, but I have read one or two really inventive descriptions of orgasms in stories here. I'll see if I can dig them up.

Lets see... here is the first one that came to mind, from a buddy of mine. A bit over the flowery top for me (hey, it's in Romance, what to expect?), but different, at least:

And finally she felt it. The rush. How the world shrunk back, took a breath, and waited. How a tiny dot of heat grew bigger and brighter into a full blown sun. How she left her mind behind and shot like an arrow out into the stars to taste that moment of Everything, that other world, so much more intense, more Real. How she dove back into the nerve storm and orgasmic fireworks of her own body.
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Old 05-18-2004, 08:57 AM   #3
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I love writing about an orgasm, but I agree, it can get a bit "samey".

Here's a typical exapmle of how I describe an orgasm, taken from my latest story here at Lit: Zodiac girls, chapter 12.

Sadie is in a trance like state and can't move or cry out. She was a virgin before this sexual encounter...

When an orgasm started to rip through her body, she had no idea what was happening – she’d never experienced anything like it before. It began deep inside her, making her internal muscles contract. This intense central pleasure then spread through her entire body, and went on for what felt like an eternity. She had no way to outlet this concentration of ecstasy – she couldn’t buck, she couldn’t scream out and she couldn’t yell for him to stop; she physically couldn’t take any more.

That’s when she passed out, completely.


Lou
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Old 05-18-2004, 09:18 AM   #4
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I tend to get pretty wordy at times but what the hell. This is pure smut so who cares?

Slowly and gently, I slid my tongue up between her inner pussy lips until I was caressing Ashley’s precious clit. She was moaning and whimpering, ramming her pussy into my face, and her whole body was rocking and thrashing on the bed. With my tongue, I pushed her clit hood out of the way and sucked her swollen love button into my mouth. My lips formed a seal at the base of Ashley’s adorable clit and I applied gentle suction, caressing the engorged sides and top with my tongue. After a few minutes of this, Ashley started cumming.

Like most women, almost reflexively, Ashley squeezed my temples with her legs and pressed on the back of my head, forcing my face into her pussy, which was already fucking upward. “What’s happening?” she cried. “It’s wonderful!” Although she had cum a few times from playing with her clit, she would be experiencing, for the first time, an all-out orgasm. Ashley rocked back and forth on her ass, pitching my head around, while her upper body thrashed about on the bed. I kept my arms tightly holding to her thighs and my mouth kept sucking and licking her clit. Ashley continued cumming for several minutes until her whole body gave a violent spasm, her back arched and she climaxed

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Old 05-18-2004, 09:53 AM   #5
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This is sort of off-topic, and I apologize, Vella.

Reading the above examples really brought home to me the differences in the way men and women write. Although, to be fair, I'm sure it's not always that way.

Lou wrote about how it felt. Boxlicker wrote about her actions.

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Old 05-18-2004, 10:12 AM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by cloudy
This is sort of off-topic, and I apologize, Vella.

Reading the above examples really brought home to me the differences in the way men and women write. Although, to be fair, I'm sure it's not always that way.

Lou wrote about how it felt. Boxlicker wrote about her actions.

no need for apologies.. youve brought up an awesome point. i so love to see the differences.
i can only write about how i feel or what ive experienced.. seeing as i have no penis, i have no idea what a man feels like when he cums.. i can only imagine that.. so, guys, step up.. tells us how you feel when you orgasm, *flowery or non*...
another question which i find a bit confusing... can a man truely orgasm without ejaculating or is that just an oxymoron???
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Old 05-18-2004, 10:40 AM   #7
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No excerpts, but for me, writing male orgasms, there's a tremendous feeling of release that I try and emphasize. All the tension, all the excitement, all the anguish and even loneliness come boiling up out of me and explode into my lover, and she takes all these terrible feelings and makes something beautiful out of them.

Other images you mights consider:
Good old fireworks,
explosions
fires
dying
electricity
drowning
falling
bubbles
wild horses
lightning and thunder

Stay away from imagery involving:
earth quakes
flashing lights
garbage disposals
pencil sharpeners
bees and flowers
automobile engines
Jell-o


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Old 05-18-2004, 10:44 AM   #8
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Originally posted by dr_mabeuse
No excerpts, but for me, writing male orgasms, there's a tremendous feeling of release that I try and emphasize. All the tension, all the excitement, all the anguish and even loneliness come boiling up out of me and explode into my lover, and she takes all these terrible feelings and makes something beautiful out of them.

Other images you mights consider:
Good old fireworks,
explosions
fires
dying
electricity
drowning
falling
bubbles
wild horses
lightning and thunder

Stay away from imagery involving:
earth quakes
flashing lights
garbage disposals
pencil sharpeners
bees and flowers
automobile engines
Jell-o


---dr.M.
roflmao.. pencil sharpeners and garbage disposals? will heed advice on those for sure..
mmmm love the ideas above those .. *scribble scribble scribble*
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Old 05-18-2004, 10:57 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by dr_mabeuse
No excerpts, but for me, writing male orgasms, there's a tremendous feeling of release that I try and emphasize. All the tension, all the excitement, all the anguish and even loneliness come boiling up out of me and explode into my lover, and she takes all these terrible feelings and makes something beautiful out of them.


That was lovely. Thank you.

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Old 05-18-2004, 11:14 AM   #10
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Look here.

I wrote this for a challenge by The Earl "to write an orgasm in no less than 200 words. No prelude, no nothing. You have to describe what your orgasm feels like in more than 200 words." It's over the top (haha) and 201 words.

My clit felt like a volcano the moment before eruption—the core hot and out of control just before a hell’s dimension of white-hot energy must obey the laws of nature. The heat began to spread like a first lava spew, yet was simultaneously enclosed in that miniscule peak beneath my fingertip. My body felt like a series of intensely out-of-order frames from a time-lapse film—earth’s tectonic history. I became a planet coming out of the Big Bang; yet felt the creation of the universe within me too. The plates—my thighs, my calves, my breasts and pelvis—began to palpably move and shift, creating continents out of every part of me, each living cell finally becoming an earthquake, a tsunami, an erupting mountain range. The magic was the disparity between the large and small, the macro physiology in tune with the micro. In the very core of each throbbing nipple seemed an Everest’s weight of utter pleasure and emotional delight. Beneath—the lava’s final flow covered the wild and undiscovered range of my thighs and belly; even my face became flushed with the rising, spreading heat—all contained in the triune power of my nipples and clit. I came.

Perdita
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Old 05-18-2004, 11:44 AM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by vella_ms
no need for apologies.. youve brought up an awesome point. i so love to see the differences.
i can only write about how i feel or what ive experienced.. seeing as i have no penis, i have no idea what a man feels like when he cums.. i can only imagine that.. so, guys, step up.. tells us how you feel when you orgasm, *flowery or non*...
another question which i find a bit confusing... can a man truely orgasm without ejaculating or is that just an oxymoron???
A man can orgasm without ejaculating. It's not very common and usually happens to a man who is older and semi-impotent. It is nowhere near as enjoyable as the more normal orgasm.

When I write in the first person, as I usually do, I describe the womens' actions when thery climax but I can't write how they feel. My narrator is a good observor but he can't read minds. I am currently writing a story in the third person and I will try to describe how it feels to the woman who is cumming.
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:21 PM   #12
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Originally posted by perdita
Look here.

I wrote this for a challenge by The Earl "to write an orgasm in no less than 200 words. No prelude, no nothing. You have to describe what your orgasm feels like in more than 200 words." It's over the top (haha) and 201 words.


Perdita
awesome. very explosive. i dont know that i have ever read a description of an orgasm quite like that one before....and i do consider myself a pretty well-read connoisseur of sensual lit. (sounds better than a purveyor of porn)..
either way.. kudos, perdita!
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:23 PM   #13
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Originally posted by Boxlicker101
A man can orgasm without ejaculating. It's not very common and usually happens to a man who is older and semi-impotent. It is nowhere near as enjoyable as the more normal orgasm.

When I write in the first person, as I usually do, I describe the womens' actions when thery climax but I can't write how they feel. My narrator is a good observor but he can't read minds. I am currently writing a story in the third person and I will try to describe how it feels to the woman who is cumming.
ok.. i can accept that, but i want to see what you would write about how you feel when you come.
doth she beggeth? yep.. share dont be selfish...
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:39 PM   #14
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That's what I meant, Vella. The good Dr. M expressed his feelings.

I feel like I"m stirring up a huge hornet's nest here.

*running before someone slaps me....
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:42 PM   #15
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That's what I meant, Vella. The good Dr. M expressed his feelings.

I feel like I"m stirring up a huge hornet's nest here.

*running before someone slaps me....
cloudy, stir away.. i maybe a bit thick at times.. i love to learn but sometimes i just miss the mark.
i was refering to boxlicker.. wanting to know how he felt at point of climax..
its all beautiful. expression is wonderful and the more i see, the more i like!
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:48 PM   #16
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okay my two cents (which may be worth more do to inflation)


Pressing my lips to her gently at first I flicked out my tongue to catch her sweet salty flavor on the tip of my tongue. The taste of her reminded me of summertime and blush wines. I ran my tongue between her pouty inner lips adding wetness to wetness and flicking her clit softly. Her hands were in my hair tugging me against her as she ground her hips against me riding my face. I was engrossed in her taste and the silky feel of her heat and slickness against my face. I parted my lips sucking the pink flesh of her pussy between them and nibbling lightly. Her hips jerked and I intensified my actions adding to the sensations by rolling her clit under my fingertips.

The scent of her was everywhere and I loved it I pushed my tongue into her fucking her with swirling strokes. Her hips were in constant motion now and her hands gripped my hair. I could feel a hint of sweat where my free hand held her thigh and she trembled slightly. Even when I felt her muscles tightened and her fingers pull my hair painfully I kept tasting and touching her. Digging my nails into the skin of her smooth brown thigh when she yanked my hair. I took her with my lips until she was shaking and exhausted and my jaw was aching. We were both sweaty and reeked of our combined scents I would have to take another shower before dinnertime although I would have loved to keep the scent of her on my skin.
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Old 05-18-2004, 12:50 PM   #17
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Contractions. I haven't seen it in the no-no list thus far.

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Old 05-18-2004, 12:52 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally posted by destinie21
okay my two cents (which may be worth more do to inflation)


Pressing my lips to her gently at first I flicked out my tongue to catch her sweet salty flavor on the tip of my tongue. The taste of her reminded me of summertime and blush wines. I ran my tongue between her pouty inner lips adding wetness to wetness and flicking her clit softly. Her hands were in my hair tugging me against her as she ground her hips against me riding my face. I was engrossed in her taste and the silky feel of her heat and slickness against my face. I parted my lips sucking the pink flesh of her pussy between them and nibbling lightly. Her hips jerked and I intensified my actions adding to the sensations by rolling her clit under my fingertips.

The scent of her was everywhere and I loved it I pushed my tongue into her fucking her with swirling strokes. Her hips were in constant motion now and her hands gripped my hair. I could feel a hint of sweat where my free hand held her thigh and she trembled slightly. Even when I felt her muscles tightened and her fingers pull my hair painfully I kept tasting and touching her. Digging my nails into the skin of her smooth brown thigh when she yanked my hair. I took her with my lips until she was shaking and exhausted and my jaw was aching. We were both sweaty and reeked of our combined scents I would have to take another shower before dinnertime although I would have loved to keep the scent of her on my skin.
Des, your imagery is always stunning.

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Old 05-18-2004, 12:53 PM   #19
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Quote:
Originally posted by cloudy
Des, your imagery is always stunning.

why thank you
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Destinie is always vivid. Her strength is the vignette, with intensity and panache.

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Sanctuary.

Know this, there is no such thing as sanctuary. Not in this life. When I fled, on that icy dawn just a few days after the Christmas holiday I had no idea where I was going, but somehow I knew in my bones where I'd end up. It hadn't been a full twenty four hours since I'd signed the papers that would officially signal the legal dissolution of the union that had been dissolving for years. I locked the doors of the home that had for so many years been ours, but had suddenly become just mine. Taking only the barest essentials I took a taxi to the airport ....
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Old 05-19-2004, 05:56 AM   #20
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from the one at my editor's now

Jip came.
Each stream of cum felt like a lightning bolt of unbearable pleasure. With a wail he jammed into her and froze, jet after jet leaving him in little packets. He could feel each one travel out the length of him. His eyes were shut hard, his posture frozen in ecstasy. The feeling subsided, and he relaxed all at once, letting his breath out. "M'God. How much hash did I have, Renee?"
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Old 05-19-2004, 07:39 AM   #21
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Re: from the one at my editor's now

Quote:
Originally posted by cantdog
Jip came.
Each stream of cum felt like a lightning bolt of unbearable pleasure. With a wail he jammed into her and froze, jet after jet leaving him in little packets. He could feel each one travel out the length of him. His eyes were shut hard, his posture frozen in ecstasy. The feeling subsided, and he relaxed all at once, letting his breath out. "M'God. How much hash did I have, Renee?"
thanks cantdog! the male perspective....and my girlfriends wonder why i'd love to be a man for a day!
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Old 05-19-2004, 11:04 AM   #22
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You can always satisfy the male readership by describing a Saturn 5 lift-off. Or a locomotive thundering into a tunnel, or crashing headlong into another.

Seriously, quality sex films (ones with plots) offer an interesting variety of similes and metaphors to use. The gluttonous feast in “Tom Jones,” the well-lubricated gears of a diesel powered boat cranking as the couple tussles in the sheets in one of the many “Emmanuelle” flicks.

For a host of silly sports metaphors, try “A New Kind of Love” (with Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward)
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Old 05-19-2004, 04:11 PM   #23
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For a host of silly sports metaphors, try “A New Kind of Love” (with Paul Newman & Joanne Woodward)
VB, how old are you!? (Just an exclamatory rhetorical question.) You're the only other person I've heard knows this fun film. ¡Que bueno!

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Old 05-19-2004, 04:35 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally posted by perdita
VB, how old are you!? (Just an exclamatory rhetorical question.) You're the only other person I've heard knows this fun film. ¡Que bueno!
Perdita
How old do you have to be? I picked up "The Long Hot Summer" at the video store, knowing nothing about it. Next, I picked up "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof," although I had heard about it (mostly about Elizabeth Taylor.)

I don't say I have seen every Paul Newman film, yet, but it's not from lack of trying.

I have even seen most of Joanne Woodward's films (1), and especially enjoyed "The Three Faces of Eve" and "They May Be Giants."

(1) No would-be home wrecker, I!
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Old 05-19-2004, 04:46 PM   #25
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Re: from the one at my editor's now

Quote:
Originally posted by cantdog
Jip came.
Each stream of cum felt like a lightning bolt of unbearable pleasure. With a wail he jammed into her and froze, jet after jet leaving him in little packets. He could feel each one travel out the length of him. His eyes were shut hard, his posture frozen in ecstasy. The feeling subsided, and he relaxed all at once, letting his breath out. "M'God. How much hash did I have, Renee?"
That is *really* good! I don't think I've ever been aroused before, while reading such a short exceprt about a man ejaculating.

It's usually: he shot his hot load inside her cunt (pussy/mouth/ass), or over her.

That doesn't ever do an awful lot for me, but your description did!

I think it's that whole thing about depicting their actions versus describing their feelings. The feelings win hands down for me every time.

Lou
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