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Old 07-17-2002, 06:58 PM   #101
Lauren Hynde
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Old 07-17-2002, 07:53 PM   #102
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Use it, fix it, toss it... lol

If you were to come meet me in the eve,
At dusk, that hour of magical hushed fear
When moonlit fragrance softly draws so near,
To kiss, embrace me tight, and never leave

A serpent's slither with my silken hem
Gentle sway leaves a trail behind my dress
Now before it fades and the light grows dim
Follow this silent path to the cypress
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Old 07-17-2002, 07:55 PM   #103
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Talking Sonnet sluts

Ah yes, I remember fondly those sonnet sluts. They were insatiable in their fervent lust for sonnets, wanting to be penetrated by them again and again . . . Indiscrimate they were, too: they'd let any sonnet have its way with them. I remember seeing them on a sunny day, with sonnet juice all over their faces . . . Ah, where are the sonnet sluts of yesteryear?
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Old 07-17-2002, 07:59 PM   #104
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Re: Use it, fix it, toss it... lol

Quote:
Originally posted by WickedEve
If you were to come meet me in the eve,
At dusk, that hour of magical hushed fear
When moonlit fragrance softly draws so near,
To kiss, embrace me tight, and never leave

A serpent's slither with my silken hem
Gentle sway leaves a trail behind my dress
Now before it fades and the light grows dim
Follow this silent path to the cypress
That's the spirit! I like it. Alas, you didn't follow the ABBA ABBA rhyme! I suppose I could settle for ABBA CDDC, though... Do you want to rearrange the verses to comply to this?
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Old 07-17-2002, 08:08 PM   #105
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Oh, I see. Let me try again. I'll be right back. lol
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Old 07-17-2002, 08:10 PM   #106
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If you were to come meet me in the eve,
At dusk, that hour of magical hushed fear
When moonlit fragrance softly draws so near,
To kiss, embrace me tight, and never leave

A serpent's slither with my silken hem
Gentle sway leaves a trail behind my dress
Follow this silent path to the cypress
Now before it fades and the light grows dim

I guess, it still work this way, doesn't it?
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Old 07-17-2002, 08:16 PM   #107
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Re: Sonnet sluts

Quote:
Originally posted by REDWAVE
Ah yes, I remember fondly those sonnet sluts. They were insatiable in their fervent lust for sonnets, wanting to be penetrated by them again and again . . . Indiscrimate they were, too: they'd let any sonnet have its way with them. I remember seeing them on a sunny day, with sonnet juice all over their faces . . . Ah, where are the sonnet sluts of yesteryear?
Red, aren't you going to join in and be a sonnet slut?

Lauren, what about iambic pentameter? How close am I? Or did I miss it completely?
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Old 07-17-2002, 08:20 PM   #108
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That will work, Eve. We'll need to edit it a little, for iamb at least, but let's wait until someone else tries to finish this.

And whomever it is, remember the rhyming options: CDE CDE, CCD EED or CDC DCD.


Edited to add: If you go with CDE it's pretty easy, cause you don't even have to rhyme, but it can be a little hard for the person who comes last, unless you choose words with plenty of possible rhymes...

Last edited by Lauren Hynde : 07-17-2002 at 08:24 PM.
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Old 07-17-2002, 08:32 PM   #109
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Cool Organic v. mechanical form

Actually, I like Eve's first version of the second stanza better, lol. I also like the idea of varying the rhyme scheme, rather than mechanically following a pattern. Rules are made to be broken. I will definitely try to add to this, Eve. Give me a little time to digest what's already been written.

It all comes down to the Romantic poets' conception of organic form vs. mechanical form. The Neo-Classicists of the 18th century (such as Alexander Pope) were practitioners of mechanical form, which is fixed and predetermined. The Romantics believed in organic form, which is ad hoc and individual to each work of art and grows out of it. Basically, they made up the form as they went along. Their works were not totally formless, but they had a much freer and looser form than the works of 18th century poets.

Lauren seems to be a Neo-Classicist, whereas I'm definitely a Romantic.
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Old 07-17-2002, 08:37 PM   #110
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This is supposed to be classicist. If you want romantic, you can start the next one!

j/k
We'll just see where this ends up, I'm not worried about that.
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Old 07-17-2002, 09:00 PM   #111
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lauren.Hynde & WickedEve
If you were to come meet me in the eve,
At dusk, that hour of magical hushed fear
When moonlit fragrance softly draws so near,
To kiss, embrace me tight, and never leave

A serpent's slither with my silken hem
Gentle sway leaves a trail behind my dress
Follow this silent path to the cypress
Now before it fades and the light grows dim
Where wave on wave pounds rocks upon dark eve,
My heart entreats love's grace its claim to keep.
A sudden kiss quite soft and knife thrust deep
To take me fast on death...and never leave.

Upon my soul I swear, "Beware the mist -
Of a thousand lips that were never kissed."


- Judo
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Old 07-17-2002, 09:04 PM   #112
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Talking Clean-up batter

Lauren, you can moon me anytime. Where do you get those cutesey icons, anyway?

Here's my proposal for the finished poem (breaking all of Lauren's rules):


If you were to come meet me in the eve,
At dusk, that hour of magical hushed fear
When moonlit fragrance softly draws so near,
To kiss, embrace me tight, and never leave

A serpent's slither with my silken hem
Gentle sway leaves a trail behind my dress
Now before it fades and the light grows dim
Follow this silent path to the cypress

And yet I know that it would be a lie
So many times my heart has been betrayed
Why do I leave it open to new hurt?

I feel my breath go out upon a sigh
The question's answered soon as it is made
Better to be stabbed and bleeding, than inert


Wutta ya think? Now that's organic form for you!
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Old 07-17-2002, 09:05 PM   #113
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I should have known that saucy wench Judo would beat me to the punch.
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Old 07-17-2002, 10:15 PM   #114
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Actually you were all terrible at it. Nobody cared to read my instructions: Eve didn't respect my rhyme, Judo decided to go with the English format instead of the classic, both Judo and Redwave wrote 2 stanzas instead of just one...

This is a tight form, how do you guys want to write a sonnet as a team if everyone pushes in a different direction?

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Old 07-17-2002, 10:31 PM   #115
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Talking So spank me

You're right, Lauren: I've been a very bad boy. So spank me!
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Old 07-17-2002, 11:08 PM   #116
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Red, you're a spank slut!
Lauren, I told you I didn't want to play, but you're a pushy slut!
You're all sluts! lol
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Old 07-18-2002, 09:06 AM   #117
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Talking take that!

Sonnet Sluts

I do remember those dear sonnet sluts:
Insatiable in their stern fervent lust,
Demanding penetration, one heavy thrust,
Repeatedly plunged, in their pussies or butts
So indiscriminate they were, the two:
Let any ol' sonnet have its way with them!
No matter how bad, they would never condemn
A well hung sonnet that they'd rather screw.
Remember seeing them, one sunny day,
With sonnet juice all over their smiling faces?
Two cuddled girls, in the park, of all places
Six, seven sonnets, worn out from the play
  That's why I ask, with yearn, yes, also fear(!):
  Where are the sonnet sluts of yesteryear?

Last edited by Lauren Hynde : 07-18-2002 at 05:15 PM.
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Old 07-18-2002, 09:12 AM   #118
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Quote:
Originally posted by WickedEve
Red, you're a spank slut!
Lauren, I told you I didn't want to play, but you're a pushy slut!
You're all sluts! lol
Stop whining! You're a whine slut!

Alright, I'll go through your stanzas and try to make something solid out of these amalgamation of sluts.
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Old 07-18-2002, 12:28 PM   #119
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Lauren, love the sonnet! lol
But you're turning this into a slut thread!
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Old 07-18-2002, 02:03 PM   #120
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Re: take that!

Quote:
Originally posted by Lauren.Hynde
That's why I ask, with lust, yes, but also fear(!):
Where are the sonnet sluts of yesteryear?
23rd Century Sonic Sluts!

Downshift your gaze. Don't dwell upon our might.
Your puny sluts of yesteryear are gone.
Their crown's too small to fit, so chrome we don.
Our armor's thick - our bodies curve just right.

Fusioned tools of tomorrow's dawn burn deep
As ardor's rev doth climb and start the fun.
We jack into our Xbox Playstation -
As artificial sex abounds, we beep.

Thick cocks, wet cunts, stiff nipples to the hilt,
Our every hole grants access for the game.
In ending toll, the highest score gets fame.
If our thrashing's great, we win though we Tilt!

Our quest for O's has never been higher
While Sonic, Mario and Kong...sire.
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Old 07-18-2002, 02:35 PM   #121
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SLUTS

Judo, Lauren, compared to you two I feel like a good girl!
I hope you're going to submit these sonnets. They're yummy!
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Old 07-18-2002, 02:39 PM   #122
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Cool Synergy

This whole thing illustrates the synergistic effect we seem to have on each other. A passing remark by Eve leads me to write a post expanding on it, which in turn inspires Lauren to write a poem, which then sends Judo spinning off into futuristic porn-- tomorrow's smut today!

Eve, you're the mother of all sluts.
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Old 07-18-2002, 03:24 PM   #123
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Re: Synergy

Quote:
Originally posted by REDWAVE
This whole thing illustrates the synergistic effect we seem to have on each other. A passing remark by Eve leads me to write a post expanding on it, which in turn inspires Lauren to write a poem, which then sends Judo spinning off into futuristic porn-- tomorrow's smut today!

Eve, you're the mother of all sluts.
Shucks, Red. All this flattery still ain't gonna get my lips wrapped around your... ummm... what do you call it? My mind's a blank.
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Old 07-18-2002, 03:51 PM   #124
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Re: Re: take that!

Quote:
Originally posted by JUDO


23rd Century Sonic Sluts!
Not only am I submitting my slutty sonnet, I'll be forced to add a link to Judo's sluts... Futuristic cybersluts are taking over the world.
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Old 07-18-2002, 03:55 PM   #125
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Talking Now wait a minute!

Lauren, since you're slutty sonnet incorporated several phrases from my post, and was obviously based on it, I should get co-authorship credits!

LOL, Eve. What is that damn thing called? Well, anyway, don't worry about that. Just close your eyes and open your mouth, and maybe the name will pop into your mind.
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