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Old 11-22-2009, 02:53 AM   #1
TruthAndLove
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Question Do women find it erotic to see a man beat up another man?

Here's a question I've wondered about for years. Strictly speaking, more than one question and now I'd really like to know the answers so I can work it into a story I'm writing.

I've always heard that some women (most?) are turned on by seeing one man beat up another man. I'd like to hear from women, hetero and L, about this.

Does seeing a man beat up another man have an effect on you? If so, how does it make you feel?

Is it an erotic effect? Are you turned on? If so, do you know why?

Do you find the winner of the fight sexy? (Or the loser?) Or are you just generally turned on, but not directed toward either of the men involved?

Imagine (or, even better, recall) watching such a fight. In a perfect world (for you), what would happen next? Would you interact with the winner of the fight? Would it be sexual? Would you want him to "take" you or be gentle and seduce you? What would the sex be like? Rough or gentle? Would you want any S/M action included?

Does it matter why the men are fighting. Would your reaction be different if the winner of the fight was a good guy and the loser a bad guy? Would it matter if the winner was just being cruel? Would it matter if the winner was defending you physically or from an insult?


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Old 11-22-2009, 03:58 AM   #2
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fighting

that was a lot of questions but here's my take:

i enjoy watching a well matched fight. it makes my heart beat faster and depending on how someone moves in a fight, can definitely set my mind to wondering about how well they might move in bed. i suppose the attraction to it all is that it suggests intense masculinity that to me is incredibly sexy.

if i knew nothing at all about the circumstances of the fight, then chances are i'd be most drawn to the winner. however, if the fight looks unfairly matched or i know that someone is standing up for someone else, the context could dictate my attraction. also, if i find the guy incredibly attractive before he starts fighting, i might very well maintain that attraction even if he loses.

as for what would happen next in my perfect world, i'm actually torn between the idea of rough adrenaline producing sex, trying to match that of the fight and having someone so incredibly capable of being rough, gentle themself to take the time to seduce me. i guess i'd want the hot rough dirty sex first, but then for him to call and actually spend time with me later.
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Old 11-22-2009, 04:44 AM   #3
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yes, fighting is sexy to me. All skilled movement is sexy as hell to me, from boxing to ballet. it's erotic because i have such a strong empathic response to movement, my body reacts as if I were doing all of that exertion, even though I'm spectating in reality, and the adrenalin has go go somewhere-- so it goes to my groin.

but seeing one man "beat up on" another man, though-- that's not so sexy, for reasons you touch on in your later questions.

I might find the winner or the loser sexy-- it depends on which one caught my attention, which one "let me in" as I watched.

Watching two fighter strive against each other, I will fix my attention on one of them, and very often I will "become" one of the men. So my reaction to them afterwards gets a little confused, since if I'm thinking sexually at that point I have to either think in the persona of a man who has just been in a fight and now is going to fuck someone's brains out, or else wrench myself into the role of woman-who-will-be-sexed-by-man. Just for you, I'll think about that; damn straight I'd want to get shagged by my fighting man!

As MoonlitClover says, it could go in any number of ways, a gentle seduction or rough sex-- if I'm thinking BDSM, it might very well be me, bringing my sub back under control after he's fought.

Does it matter why? Absolutely. Fighting is destructive, and I don't like seeing good muscle and heart being damaged for no good reason. Fighting contests count as good reasons to me-- "Because we can" is always acceptable to me. But there's a "we in there. One bully who can, destroying one guy who can't? not so impressive, and not impressive is not sexy. If the object was simply cruelty? Not on my ticket, buddy. Does it matter if my guy won or lost? I prefer a winner, but don't underestimate the appeal of a bloodied and beaten man whose Heart Is Always Hers (and who will win in the last scene no doubt)

Good question!
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Old 11-22-2009, 06:05 AM   #4
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As a guy I don't want a female, my wife, seeing me fight another dude. There's never any real reason to fight in day to day life, and the aftermath is just embarrassment either way when you have a female that knows that you're fighting for no good reason. The organized fight is a different story. Men and women are both attracted to supreme physicality, winners, shows of suitability. Many losers in organized fights show supreme physicality, but the attractiveness of some dude that just gets beat down is still different in people world than grizzly world. It's tough being a grizzly.
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Old 11-22-2009, 07:56 AM   #5
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My husband watches boxing and I watch boxing with him. I wouldn't watch it if he didn't, but I find it a much more interesting sport then football or basketball and I'm glad he's into something we can watch together. I can tell you that I don't find the matches or boxers very sexy. There are some handsome boxers but they're just not my type. I do find the sport fascinating and sometimes exciting in that there's a real tension--you never know if the match will last 30 seconds or the whole 12 rounds, or who might get an unexpected knock-out.

But here's the thing: Eyes get blackened, hematomas swell up, cuts bleed profusely. And not one of those do I find sexy. Especially since, in boxing, the cameras will focus in on them like a CSI cam. I tend to wince and go, "EW!"

Now I've also seen two guys get into a real fight. I mean, they stood up and went at it. Frankly, all I saw was a mess of swinging fists and clashing bodies. Not sexy. Kinda silly and a little alarming as they weren't paying attention and could have swung and hit or smashed into innocent bystanders. I've seen as well a guy getting beaten up by some really angry, bigger men. Not sexy either. I've also seen my husband get swung at by a drunk and react--he kneeded the guy and knocked him flat so fast I barely had time to turn around (my husband was raised in a bad neighborhood). That I found a little sexy. Because it was smart. Enemy taken out in the blink of an eye, no one else put in danger. I find smart very sexy.

In the end, I think we've a problem when it comes to seeing men fight because the vast majority of fights most of us see are choreographed Hollywood fights, or fights in an arena between two trained professionals, including time-outs. When two angry men get out of their cars and go at it, they're hardly as graceful--and rarely as pretty--as actors in an action movie. They don't play fair, and they usually put anyone near them at risk of being hit or hurt as they scrabble and swing. All they are is angry and violent--and not smart. Which, to me, is not sexy.

But you, T&L, mentioned a "perfect world." If we're talking fantasy, then I think the old, cliché fantasy, the Hollywood fantasy still holds true for most heterosexual (or bi-sexual) women. If the men are fighting over her, or better yet, one is fighting to protect her, then it becomes sexy. It's certainly gratifying to the female ego. And the gallant protector is going to get a "My hero!" gush, his wounds tended to, and a proper "thank you!" if he isn't too damaged (which, in that "perfect world" he won't be). My personal preference would be a gentle seduction because the contrast (brutal vs. gentle) is intriguing and indicates a man who might be committed to the lady. But that's my girl-side fantasy. The guy side fantasy *might* be to fight, win, fuck, move on to the next damsel in distress
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Old 11-22-2009, 08:43 AM   #6
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IMO, there's nothing erotic about any kind of fighting. Abuse of any kind, is awful. I don't even like the tackles in a football game. IMO, if men have extra energy to burn up, they should do it the bed, but nicely, of course.
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Old 11-22-2009, 09:13 AM   #7
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Whenever I see men fighting, I have a sudden urge to throw ice water on them. I want to knock their heads together and drag them to the door. I think it comes from all the years of working in clubs and bars. Nothing spoils a good time like two macho assholes deciding to go at it over something as stupid as whose sports team is better or some other nonsense.

What I find sexy is self-confidence. A man who can diffuse such a fight before it happens is a far better turn on. To watch him step up, take command of it and make it stop before it starts--that's a quality I admire.
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Old 11-22-2009, 09:17 AM   #8
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Yeah the violent, cheap shot, five second fight is probably the most common in regular world. Someone gets hit for real and it's shocking because they thought they were going to be the aggressor, or they didn't actually expect someone to hit them, so they let the fight get broken up. Army boxing usually never made it out of the first round, those guys hit hard, me, not so much.
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Old 11-22-2009, 09:50 AM   #9
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Duelling was exciting, too, and plenty of women went to them.

Here's what we oughta do: Build arenas enclosed by bullet-proof glass, charge admission to the general public, and schedule duels & gladiatorial contests so people can settle private grudges and public mutinies.
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Old 11-22-2009, 09:52 AM   #10
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent - Asimov

I'll admit watching a choreographed fight scene in a movie between the hero and the villain can get my blood pumping, but it just doesn't translate in reality.
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Old 11-22-2009, 09:53 AM   #11
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Back when I used to bounce in bars, immediately after a fight I had women all over me. The rougher the fight the more women and the more aggressive they were toward me. Unfortunately for them I was celibate back then.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:01 AM   #12
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Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent - Asimov

I'll admit watching a choreographed fight scene in a movie between the hero and the villain can get my blood pumping, but it just doesn't translate in reality.
Naaah! Not at all.

Violence is often necessary to stabilize social chaos and control government tyranny. One lone anarchist unleashed World War ONE. All cooperation and reason get you is abuse by people who respect neither cooperation nor dialogue.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:07 AM   #13
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Give me the man who stops it before it starts. He has self-confidence, inner strength and power . . . all sexy. Fighting is childish, and a sign of weakness to me.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:09 AM   #14
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I never understood the need to fight someone physically, especially when there isn't a threat present. Indifferences can be solved without the need to beat and batter one's opinion into another. If a woman finds it exciting to see a man get bloodied and bruised and wants sex after, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of being with her.
One who fears for my safety if I'm defending her and offers her love as a "reward" for my gallantry, is another thing altogether.
Bloodlust isn't a trait I find admirable in a woman, nor do I have an urge to engage in it.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:15 AM   #15
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Quote:
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I never understood the need to fight someone physically, especially when there isn't a threat present. Indifferences can be solved without the need to beat and batter one's opinion into another. If a woman finds it exciting to see a man get bloodied and bruised and wants sex after, I wouldn't even entertain the idea of being with her.
One who fears for my safety if I'm defending her and offers her love as a "reward" for my gallantry, is another thing altogether.
Bloodlust isn't a trait I find admirable in a woman, nor do I have an urge to engage in it.
Most everyday fighting occurs around alcohol, road rage is also mind altering. I've seen dudes get out of cars run up and try and punch through other people's windows. There's no rationality, some guy wants to fight kids for looking at his chick's ass in the mall. Most violence starts out as posturing, then someone else gets mad that someone's posturing and tries to out posture, which turns into someone throwing a cheap shot. Women are attracted to violence though, not as much as men, but they get off on violence too. How many times do you see chicks get into fights at bars? All the time man, even the most prim, sweet looking ones will lose it quick in the right setting with the right substance.

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Old 11-22-2009, 10:23 AM   #16
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Give me the man who stops it before it starts. He has self-confidence, inner strength and power . . . all sexy. Fighting is childish, and a sign of weakness to me.
I agree. That was my job, and I was good at it. But sometimes that doesn't work and then you have to fight. I was good at that, too. The trick, for me anyway, is to end it quick and leave little to no lasting damage. For the most part I just picked guys up and put them where I wanted them. Never threw a punch. If they forced me to throw a punch they didn't want a second one.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:28 AM   #17
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Most everyday fighting occurs around alcohol, road rage is also mind altering. I've seen dudes get out of cars run up and try and punch through other people's windows. There's no rationality, some guy wants to fight kids for looking at his chick's ass in the mall. Most violence starts out as posturing, then someone else gets mad that someone's posturing and tries to out posture, which turns into someone throwing a cheap shot. Women are attracted to violence though, not as much as men, but they get off on violence too. How many times do you see chicks get into fights at bars? All the time man, even the most prim, sweet looking ones will lose it quick in the right setting with the right substance.
And those are the ones I avoid being around EPM. If they enjoy the sight of blood on a man, what's stopping them from wanting to see it on me? I hate the idea of anyone hitting a woman and woman getting into it in bars is just....well, fucked up. I'll stick with a woman who shows civility and femininity as her fighting tools. I'd much rather be "beaten up" by her charms than her fists.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:37 AM   #18
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I agree. That was my job, and I was good at it. But sometimes that doesn't work and then you have to fight. I was good at that, too. The trick, for me anyway, is to end it quick and leave little to no lasting damage. For the most part I just picked guys up and put them where I wanted them. Never threw a punch. If they forced me to throw a punch they didn't want a second one.
Okay, I can see that. Fights will happen.
But your example differs from two men just fighting for whatever stupid reason and going until one can't get up.
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:38 AM   #19
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And those are the ones I avoid being around EPM. If they enjoy the sight of blood on a man, what's stopping them from wanting to see it on me? I hate the idea of anyone hitting a woman and woman getting into it in bars is just....well, fucked up. I'll stick with a woman who shows civility and femininity as her fighting tools. I'd much rather be "beaten up" by her charms than her fists.
Well I've never seen man vs. woman in real life. I was talking about female vs. female. They react the same as guys do in similar situations, posturing and all that toward other females. Do men find it erotic to see a woman beat up another woman? Nah, most guys just think it's funny, unless someone really gets hurt, then you have to pull 'em apart and they don't come apart cuz they're all up in each others hair...
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Old 11-22-2009, 10:48 AM   #20
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A man fighting in defense of someone weaker, I find hawt.

There was a recent video where three men disrespected this man's wife and he pwn'd them...yes, all three.
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:12 AM   #21
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Well I've never seen man vs. woman in real life. I was talking about female vs. female. They react the same as guys do in similar situations, posturing and all that toward other females. Do men find it erotic to see a woman beat up another woman? Nah, most guys just think it's funny, unless someone really gets hurt, then you have to pull 'em apart and they don't come apart cuz they're all up in each others hair...
I taught my daughters how to fight. The youngest knocked a bully across the hood of her car onto hiz ass when he slapped his girlfriend. POW! Surpise! Surprise! as Gomer would say.
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:43 AM   #22
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Only in movies and in orderly form, like in martial arts and duelling sports, does fighting look cool.

In real life, fighting looks pretty silly.
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:46 AM   #23
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All my life I've done my best to stay out of fights . . . and succeeded, thank-you very much. However, I also spent many years as a professional people killer, at least in potentia. Stupid flailing around is just that, stupid. Hollywood choreographed fights I find laughable. Real fights last only enough seconds for someone to get killed or maimed and anyone who finds that sexy can stay a long way's from me. I have no use for women who think there is anything erotic about a sudden blast of action that leaves someone on the floor, perhaps permanently.
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:46 AM   #24
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Only in movies and in orderly form, like in martial arts and duelling sports, does fighting look cool.

In real life, fighting looks pretty silly.
I do suspect plenty of Americans would savor watching some real men invade the halls of Congress to kick some serious ass.
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Old 11-22-2009, 11:53 AM   #25
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I've seen two fights that impressed the hell out of me. One involved a queer and his tormenters, and the other involved a Mexican and his tormenters. The queer and Mexican kicked some ass, and the queer expressed the existential condition this way: THUH ONLY THANG I LIKE BETTER'N SUCKING DICK IS FIGHT'N, YEE HA!
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