Bisexual, group sex issues...Please Help!!

[nolaboy]

Hey all. I need some advice and I'm hoping to get different perspectives here. Here's the issue: While my wife and I were dating, we dabbled in the group sex scene. I'm also bisexual so for a while we played regularly with a couple who, like us, were both bisexual. Unfortunately, we haven't done it in quite a while. She says she's just no longer into it. The problem is that I REALLY do! My wife is fantastic. I love her more than anything but when it comes to sex, we're just not on the same page. When it comes to my bisexuality, she has suggested that I find a safe playmate in order to scratch that itch....which is fantastic but it doesn't speak to the group sex need. It's hard to talk to her about it because I think she feels inadequate, as if she isn't "enough" for me. She doesn't understand that what I crave about the group sex has nothing to do with love, or intimacy, or emotional bonds, it's merely a "full senses" experience (those of you who feel the same way know what I'm talking about). It kills me that I might be hurting her feelings so I try not to discuss it but I am who I am and I cant change what I like/want....Arrrrgh! Any suggestions??

[dallianace]

I think you have a great wife and proably should give the group sex idea a rest. She's wiling to let you have a male lover which is pretty broad minded and understanding she's just not willing to get into the issue of group sex with you. I suspect it's not the group that is threatening to her but your having sex with other women. Marriage changes women big time and the girlf friend is now playing in the big leagues as a wife. Accept it and move on.

[VmaxLondon]

What he said.

[Samuelx]

Originally Posted by nolaboy

Hey all. I need some advice and I'm hoping to get different perspectives here. Here's the issue: While my wife and I were dating, we dabbled in the group sex scene. I'm also bisexual so for a while we played regularly with a couple who, like us, were both bisexual. Unfortunately, we haven't done it in quite a while. She says she's just no longer into it. The problem is that I REALLY do! My wife is fantastic. I love her more than anything but when it comes to sex, we're just not on the same page. When it comes to my bisexuality, she has suggested that I find a safe playmate in order to scratch that itch....which is fantastic but it doesn't speak to the group sex need. It's hard to talk to her about it because I think she feels inadequate, as if she isn't "enough" for me. She doesn't understand that what I crave about the group sex has nothing to do with love, or intimacy, or emotional bonds, it's merely a "full senses" experience (those of you who feel the same way know what I'm talking about). It kills me that I might be hurting her feelings so I try not to discuss it but I am who I am and I cant change what I like/want....Arrrrgh! Any suggestions??

I'm bi and my wife and I did that stuff too. Then came parenthood and the end of our swinger days.

[irishcpl]

Originally Posted by Samuelx

I'm bi and my wife and I did that stuff too. Then came parenthood and the end of our swinger days.

snap samuelx

[PhilGarlic]

I think Dallnance has got it right.
On the group sex side, my worry would be the health issues, even safe sex can spread STDs.
I think you should be grateful she tolerant of you with a guy.

[nolaboy]

We're going to go and compromise. We go and be in a group but we don't play with anyone else which is fine for me because i like it mainly because of the atmosphere and the exhibitionist part and not just to fuck other women.