How to pick up if your not that good looking?

[ChasingShadowsX]

Just curious whats the best way to pick up at the club? What are your tricks and how do you girls pick the guy your going to go home with?

[CWatson]

Try some confidence. Looks are all well and good, but attitude matters too. Imagine if you saw a woman with shining blonde hair, piercing blue eyes and deep, broad breasts... Under a high-necked wool sweater, pointy angry glasses, a very large very prominent crucifix, and a stack of pamphlets she's giving to people to try to convince them they're going to burn in the fires of eternal damnation. Was your interest piqued, or was it dissuaded? And why?

You see my point here? Attitude matters, and it matters way more than your appearance. I don't have much in the way of looks either, but I've been able to make it work for me. I'm sure you too can take what you've got and make it work for you, because that's a mindset, not something you got (or didn't) from God. And, if you take what you've got, make it work, and people still aren't into you, then take it somewhere else. If people aren't going to appreciate you for who you are, don't waste your time. There's other fish in the sea.

As the whore said to the bashful sailor: "It ain't how much you got, son; it's all in how you use it."

[human_male]

Learn to dance?

[emap]

Dancing helps.

I keep saying this maybe somebody should make a sticky with this stuff.

You don't have to think you are gods gift to women, actually it works alot better if you don't think you are. You don't have to hav ethe latest in clothes and hair unless you are an actor or 14 and trying to date 14 year olds. Granted the age of needing the latest fashion tend to go up toward 26 but screw it. It's not in having the latest fashion, it's not in knowing the latest pick up lines, it's not even in knowing pick up lines.

Write this down and memorize it cause it's all you need to know. Be yourself, dress how you want to dress, not like every other joe blow on the planet, be different. When you are at a bar or club or party, do not stand in the corner be out there among people, don't cross your arms, have a smile on your face and talk to people. You don't need any great lines, hi is plenty to start a conversation. If you are sitting at a bar, do not face the bar do not lean forward, turn so you are looking out over the crowd, have a smile on your face and talk to people. Talk to the gal who is picking up drinks for all her friends, she may not be looking for a boyfriend or sex but someone may and just being nice and smiling, offering to help perhaps can get you brownie points with her friends who may be looking for one or both.

Are you seeing the trend here? Us gals are not visual sex feinds like men, we don't mind if the boyfriend isn't all that cute, if he is a nice guy, smart helps but not a requirement he can bed any woman so long as he is what she is looking for.

Being yourself may not get you laid often, but it will get you something the players won't have, a steady woman who gives you sex often. Players may bed alot of women, but rarely do they get the same woman twice, and they tend to grow old alone.

[CherryBomb24]

eat something?
from the avatar - i assume thats you - you need to get some meat on your bones.
i dont like seeing ribs through peoples shirts, i doubt most woman do

[Firebrain]

Originally Posted by CherryBomb24

eat something?
from the avatar - i assume thats you - you need to get some meat on your bones.
i dont like seeing ribs through peoples shirts, i doubt most woman do

Waaah. Would you like fries with that?

[CherryBomb24]

Originally Posted by Firebrain

Waaah. Would you like fries with that?

i'm not big, but even i'd be afraid of breaking him.
i'm not meaning to insult him or anything and i appologize if i come off like that.

[Eilan]

Pretty much what CWatson said.

If that's you in your av and in some of the pics you've posted, then I'd have to say that your problem isn't that you're unattractive: it's that your self-esteem sucks. Maybe you need to work on that first.

[BBW_Goddess_Anna]

Confidnece means everything, regardless of looks. Believe in yourself and like yourself, or no one else will!

[tinawill77]

Dancing is a good start. You don't have to be great, but don't be horrible either. The other things, confidence and being yourself are also important. Part of that is not lying and trying to convince people you're rich when you're not.

But it also depends on what you're looking for. I mean if you're looking to pick up someone at the club that night to have sex with, you're generally going to have to look for someone that's open to that. But if you're looking for a date on another night, be happy with a name and a number. Clubs aren't the best places for conversation so don't hover or try too hard. Just have a good time while you're there.

[MisterSir]

Bud, one guy to another in an entirely heterosexual manner, you are not "not that good looking". As somebody who genuinely is not that good looking, trust me.

[StrayKat]

Originally Posted by MisterSir

As somebody who genuinely is not that good looking...

Bah you got amazing ass that just says "bite me"

[kimbernee]

OK, I had to go look since apparently this has come down to whether or not the guy is good looking. That's the build that appeals to me, personally. Women are weird. You'd think we'd all like the same thing, like guys like blonds with big tits (this is sarcasm), yet we don't. So my advice would be to find the woman who thinks you're hot. There are at least two of us in this thread.

Of course, there's no face in that photo. That could be a deal breaker.

The advice about finding the woman who thinks you're hot isn't sarcastic. Learn to read signals and learn to look at some woman other than the blond with big tits that every other guy is humping on the dance floor. Some of those other ones might be giving you signals.

[ChasingShadowsX]

Photos can make anyone look good with the right lighting. I just feel unattractive quite often. It's weird I can't stop it so I guess it probably gives off a negative vibe. But then again sometimes when I'm out there and trying to meet people they kinda get freaked out lol.

I also find it hard to say nice things for some reason, I think people get the wrong impression from me like im sleezy or something. I dunno

I just always see people better looking than me and think how do i compete with that? And a lot of my friends who are just normal have girls come up to them and hit on them. So I dunno I'm sitting right next to them...

[fire_breeze]

Sweets, everyone, including Heidi Klum et al. will feel unattractive. Most people will feel unattractive often. Focus on what you do find attractive. Maybe you have eyes that everyone would kill to have - wear a shirt that brings them out. Figure out what you have and work it.

As for saying nice things, it is in the delivery. Personally, I like saying and being told nice things sincerely. Being rude to me, and I'll be so bold and suggest being rude or not nice to many women, will have a detrimental effect to your health.

You can't compete with other. You can only compete with yourself. If your friends have girls come up and hit on them, maybe it's something that they are doing as opposed to how they look. I know it sounds like a cliché, but there is an adage "beauty is in the eye of beholder". You will be hot to someone. Be interesting. Don't compare yourself to anyone - which is probably the hardest thing ever, but you will always come up short.

[subwannabe]

I think you are not only lacking in self esteem but at the same time you are sending out signals that you know virtually nothing about pleasing a woman. In my opinion, your avatar shows you only really care about one thing - your dick. Your avatar is only one step above a cock picture. I guess you are trying to turn women on by tempting them with a picture that supposedly leaves them craving for that cock of yours, sort of like a female showing us a cleavage picture. This works on men because men are visual animals but it doesn't work on women because they are emotional animals. They want to be seduced by the mind and the personality. They don't give a shit about your cock. Pictures like this and cock pictures reveal your true personality, a personality where you convey that the only thing you care about is getting your cock off and that women will just be swept away at the feel of your cock inside them. Women want to know that you can seduce their mind, bring out their emotions, and that you care about giving them mind blowing orgasms that they enjoy. Your dick has absolutely nothing to do with it. Try thinking with your mind instead of your penis. This post was not meant to be an attack but to merely bring up possibilities that maybe you never considered. I apologize ahead of time if I was totally wrong on this.

[littlebabyclit]

Originally Posted by subwannabe

I think you are not only lacking in self esteem but at the same time you are sending out signals that you know virtually nothing about pleasing a woman. In my opinion, your avatar shows you only really care about one thing - your dick. Your avatar is only one step above a cock picture. I guess you are trying to turn women on by tempting them with a picture that supposedly leaves them craving for that cock of yours, sort of like a female showing us a cleavage picture. This works on men because men are visual animals but it doesn't work on women because they are emotional animals. They want to be seduced by the mind and the personality. They don't give a shit about your cock. Pictures like this and cock pictures reveal your true personality, a personality where you convey that the only thing you care about is getting your cock off and that women will just be swept away at the feel of your cock inside them. Women want to know that you can seduce their mind, bring out their emotions, and that you care about giving them mind blowing orgasms that they enjoy. Your dick has absolutely nothing to do with it. Try thinking with your mind instead of your penis.

Holy fuck. That post just perfectly expressed how utterly ridiculous, annoying and clueless those idiotic cock profile photos are that some male Lit members post here. Those guys seem to be of the ilk whose main attempt at connecting with the ladies is to post something like "hey, I'm here, IM me !" Ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaa !!! Well said, subwannabe.

As for the profiles with cleavage or titty pictures, these should be the kind of women the dick-centered should go after...since those kind of pics are clearly not putting out there that the profilee is interested in attracting sensitive, quality male company. <big grin>

[MisterSir]

Originally Posted by subwannabe

blah blah blah

Christ in Heaven stop blathering with your shit. The guy's got a genuine concern, and it's not a stupid question, but you've clearly got a desert's worth of sand in your vagina. Where the fuck is your vitriol for the idiots with pictures of their eyes or their tits or any other extraneous bits of their body? Where is it for people who show off their face? Your fucked-up logic implies everybody whose avatar is part of them are here to show off so, with that said - fuck off home until you learn anything useful about men. "Men are all visual animals", way to generalise you dumbfuck. You'd have a bitch-fit if I stomped around shouting "ALL SUBMISSIVES ARE SADISTS".

[Noor]

Originally Posted by subwannabe

I think you are not only lacking in self esteem but at the same time you are sending out signals that you know virtually nothing about pleasing a woman. In my opinion, your avatar shows you only really care about one thing - your dick. Your avatar is only one step above a cock picture. I guess you are trying to turn women on by tempting them with a picture that supposedly leaves them craving for that cock of yours, sort of like a female showing us a cleavage picture. This works on men because men are visual animals but it doesn't work on women because they are emotional animals. They want to be seduced by the mind and the personality. They don't give a shit about your cock. Pictures like this and cock pictures reveal your true personality, a personality where you convey that the only thing you care about is getting your cock off and that women will just be swept away at the feel of your cock inside them. Women want to know that you can seduce their mind, bring out their emotions, and that you care about giving them mind blowing orgasms that they enjoy. Your dick has absolutely nothing to do with it. Try thinking with your mind instead of your penis. This post was not meant to be an attack but to merely bring up possibilities that maybe you never considered. I apologize ahead of time if I was totally wrong on this.

Ditto the above, and even if a woman is looking for a cock, she wants one that knows how to please. Remember "it ain't the meat its the motion"

I think guys forget who they are trying to attract sometimes, even guys who can be fun, interesting, charming and good lovers. Cock pics, telling a woman how hot/hard they are is not all that interesting to them. Woman want to be special or at least individuals, not just the available body for a guy to get off on or in. They want to know that a man wants them to have enjoyable sex, not just self satify. I don't think its necessarily emotionally, though it can be.
"The best sex is a mind, body, and heart experience. Good sex is two out of three, except when ovulating"
Most women are happy with good sex, but if you aren't engaging anything but body, they aren't that interested. Also the competition for just getting laid is pretty stiff for guys.

[Eilan]

Originally Posted by subwannabe

In my opinion, your avatar shows you only really care about one thing - your dick. Your avatar is only one step above a cock picture.

The OP's av is millions of times more tasteful and preferable than a cock pic. I'm a known cock-av hater, though, so take my opinion for what it's worth.

[StrayKat]

Originally Posted by subwannabe

I think you are not only lacking in self esteem but at the same time you are sending out signals that you know virtually nothing about pleasing a woman. In my opinion, your avatar shows you only really care about one thing - your dick. Your avatar is only one step above a cock picture. I guess you are trying to turn women on by tempting them with a picture that supposedly leaves them craving for that cock of yours, sort of like a female showing us a cleavage picture. This works on men because men are visual animals but it doesn't work on women because they are emotional animals. They want to be seduced by the mind and the personality. They don't give a shit about your cock. Pictures like this and cock pictures reveal your true personality, a personality where you convey that the only thing you care about is getting your cock off and that women will just be swept away at the feel of your cock inside them. Women want to know that you can seduce their mind, bring out their emotions, and that you care about giving them mind blowing orgasms that they enjoy. Your dick has absolutely nothing to do with it. Try thinking with your mind instead of your penis. This post was not meant to be an attack but to merely bring up possibilities that maybe you never considered. I apologize ahead of time if I was totally wrong on this.

Funny, I am a woman and I am pretty "visual animal". I dont mind cock pictures if they are not too zoomed in. Pictures showing sexy male chest or hips with yummy cock attached are good thing in my book. If the mentioned cock has a personality and sense of humor thats a big plus but essentially I could "do him" even without that (not for long though ).

I dont care if a guy is working hard on seducing my mind, if I decide hes worth the effort I can do all the seducing myself. Bringing out my emotions? No, thanks if we are talking about visually attractive animals with good looking cocks and asses, I really dont need to switch on emotions to enjoy them.

The guy lacks self esteem and bashing him about something that is basically normal thing when men are concerned is not going to help him. His avatar is pretty good as far as some go and you cant judge people like that based on avatars anyway. Reread what you wrote and try to see why I see your post as cruel and inconsiderate.

[subwannabe]

MisterSir: In case you didn't realize it, I am actually a man, not a woman. I wonder how much different your post would have been if you had known that. So, I actually know men better than you think.

StrayKat: I did apologize in advance at the end of my post if I went down the wrong path with my post. I was merely bringing up the possibility that he was trying to pick up women with his penis instead of his brains, which was a possibility, not a sure thing. I realize that. I was merely trying to accomplish two things with my post:

1. Bring up a possibility which may or may not have been correct which others hadn't yet addressed.

2. If I was wrong going down that path then maybe some other men that only think with their cocks might actually learn something.

Thanks to the others who appreciated the path I took.

[StrayKat]

Originally Posted by subwannabe

MisterSir: In case you didn't realize it, I am actually a man, not a woman. I wonder how much different your post would have been if you had known that. So, I actually know men better than you think.

StrayKat: I did apologize in advance at the end of my post if I went down the wrong path with my post. I was merely bringing up the possibility that he was trying to pick up women with his penis instead of his brains, which was a possibility, not a sure thing. I realize that. I was merely trying to accomplish two things with my post:

1. Bring up a possibility which may or may not have been correct which others hadn't yet addressed.

2. If I was wrong going down that path then maybe some other men that only think with their cocks might actually learn something.

Thanks to the others who appreciated the path I took.

I would applaud you if your post was in different thread with different context. As it is its simply not good answer to someone with lack of self esteem.

Frankly, most of the men think with their cock now and then and I see nothing wrong with that. I dont think those that are prone to do that regularly are capable of learning different from just one forum post.

[MisterSir]

Originally Posted by subwannabe

MisterSir: In case you didn't realize it, I am actually a man, not a woman. I wonder how much different your post would have been if you had known that. So, I actually know men better than you think.

My apologies.

You've still got a vagina full of sand, only difference is where it is. So, to reiterate, fuck off home until you learn anything USEFUL about men. In other words, it would be superficially different but the dislike is still there because you're still a fuckhead and your post has no place here nor merit.

[StrayKat]

Originally Posted by MisterSir

You've still got a vagina full of sand

Since I tend to take things literally I would disagree with the statement. Now if you said he got ass full of..... mmm ass....

I am so easily distracted