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10-17-2009, 01:08 PM
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#1
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Literotica Guru
LadyFunkenstein is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: I come in colors
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Men: How do you feel about dating women who earn more
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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10-17-2009, 01:13 PM
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#2
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Bite me, Alex
TurdFergeson is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 35,036
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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Wouldn't bother me in the least.
Then again, I've never judged myself or anyone for that matter on how much money they make or have.
I'm weird like that, I know. :P
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MacGyver Merit Badge
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10-17-2009, 01:15 PM
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#3
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Loved by All!
great lover is offline
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: Annoying morons, one thread at a time.
Posts: 20,729
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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Every girl I dated made more money than I did. Never bothered me, since I could beat them at the pissing contest.  |
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10-17-2009, 01:16 PM
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#4
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destroyer of untruth
pointless is offline
Join Date: Dec 2002
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probably.
but only if she bought me pretty things.
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10-17-2009, 01:20 PM
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#5
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Literotica Guru
LadyFunkenstein is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: I come in colors
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TurdFergeson
Wouldn't bother me in the least.
Then again, I've never judged myself or anyone for that matter on how much money they make or have.
I'm weird like that, I know. :P
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It has nothing to do with judging a person. The issue is more about societal norms, and whether you feel the need to adher to them.
Last edited by LadyFunkenstein : 10-17-2009 at 01:23 PM.
Reason: clarity
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10-17-2009, 01:21 PM
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#6
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dynamic
SaintPeter is offline
Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Denver
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Those are the only women I date.
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10-17-2009, 01:24 PM
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#7
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Bite me, Alex
TurdFergeson is offline
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 35,036
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
It has nothing to do with judging a person. The issue is more about societal norms, and whether you feel the need to adher to them.
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Oh, well, say no more.
:P
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10-17-2009, 01:24 PM
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#8
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single but married
pink_ is offline
Join Date: Nov 2005
Posts: 40,562
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintPeter
Those are the only women I date.
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You're so suave, Pete. |
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10-17-2009, 01:28 PM
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#9
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Owner of Literotica
Le Jacquelope is offline
Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: 2050: the year whites will become a minority. Amen!
Posts: 76,213
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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It means nothing to me, really. I make so much damned money that on the months that my wife earns more through her business, it really means nothing. I'm not a layabout, so I have room to be concerned about more important things than whether my wife earns more than me at some point.
I would imagine it would be more of a problem for most women than for most men. She's no longer trading up. But there are also many guys who feel emasculated when it happens. I feel sorry for both these types. |
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10-17-2009, 01:30 PM
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#10
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Literotica Guru
LadyFunkenstein is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: I come in colors
Posts: 27,007
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OK, here's a real life example of a real life couple I know.
(No it isn't me; I haven't been in a relationship since my marriage!)
they wanted to do something over the three day weekend. She wanted to go on a trip which would have cost about $3k. She can afford this, and he can't. About $300 is more of what he can afford.
Men, would you feel uncomfortable going on trips, dining out places out of your budget so much so she always has to pay?
And now that I think about it, will that woman start to resent him after a while, start feeling like she should be with a more "successful" guy?
Or perhaps a little of both? Or neither, in the perfect world...
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10-17-2009, 01:33 PM
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#11
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.
Wok is offline
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: More scotch
Posts: 32,315
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
OK, here's a real life example of a real life couple I know.
(No it isn't me; I haven't been in a relationship since my marriage!)
they wanted to do something over the three day weekend. She wanted to go on a trip which would have cost about $3k. She can afford this, and he can't. About $300 is more of what he can afford.
Men, would you feel uncomfortable going on trips, dining out places out of your budget so much so she always has to pay?
And now that I think about it, will that woman start to resent him after a while, start feeling like she should be with a more "successful" guy?
Or perhaps a little of both? Or neither, in the perfect world...
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Hmm, I can see resentment cropping up especially in the dating phase. However, it has been over a decade since I last dated, so maybe times have changed since then. Currently, whatever we make does not make a difference. We sink or swim together. |
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10-17-2009, 01:42 PM
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#12
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Magic H8 Ball
John Doe is offline
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Your Mom's House
Posts: 44,010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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My first thought on that is I wish people would stop contradicting themselves, at least in the same sentence...
Anyway, I wouldn't mind. It might even be a relief.
__________________
"What a pity the human animal is not able to put his moral thinking into practice. I fear that machines are ahead of morals by some centuries." --Harry S. Truman
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10-17-2009, 01:46 PM
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#13
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Literotica Guru
Dionysian Beast is offline
Join Date: Nov 2003
Posts: 20,217
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Personally, I don't really see how it'd be a problem. It probably means she's pretty successful, which is rather attractive, imo.
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10-17-2009, 01:50 PM
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#14
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snorkeling with my SO
Isid is offline
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Wonderland ;)
Posts: 4,155
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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would make me nervous... money is power in ways not discerned... a relationship is based on sharing of power, a bit over there, a bit over here... money is not a bad thing - it just is - it is how one applies it. a relationship is between individuals not money |
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10-17-2009, 02:06 PM
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#15
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Literotica Guru
KingOrfeo is offline
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 8,890
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SaintPeter
Those are the only women I date.
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Just a gigolo
And everywhere I go
People know the part I'm playin' . . .
__________________
IX. The Courtyard
It was the city I had known before;
The ancient, leprous town where mongrel throngs
Chant to strange gods, and beat unhallowed gongs
In crypts beneath foul alleys near the shore.
The rotting, fish-eyed houses leered at me
From where they leaned, drunk and half-animate,
As edging through the filth I passed the gate
To the black courtyard where the man would be.
The dark walls closed me in, and loud I cursed
That ever I had come to such a den,
When suddenly a score of windows burst
Into wild light, and swarmed with dancing men:
Mad, soundless revels of the dragging dead -
And not a corpse had either hands or head!
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10-17-2009, 02:22 PM
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#16
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Poet Chick
Angeline is offline
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birdnest
Posts: 20,103
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I made more money (alot more) than my ex and it seemed to drive him nuts. It never mattered to me one way or another, but some guys get their ego all tied up with it, you know? It was definitely a big factor is my marriage breaking up. I just don't see it because if I'm in that intimate a relationship, it's all our money. Now, my partner and I both have money put away separately for our kids, but everything else is in a communal pot.
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10-17-2009, 02:38 PM
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#17
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irrumatio king
MechaBlade is offline
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: MechaLand
Posts: 43,058
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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I'd love it, unless she still expected me to pay for everything. That would seem unfair to me.
__________________
Lit Profile
If it can be done, then it turns someone on. If it can't be done, then it still probably turns someone on.
"Love is God's work, not mine. I seek only to devour the flesh."
-Pirates 2
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10-17-2009, 02:42 PM
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#18
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now with 17% more class
Liar is online now
Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: 8th floor
Posts: 21,260
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
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I do that. It's totally irrelevant.
But I minghr have felt differently if I was actually poor. I make a comfortable living, so it's not like I can't pick up the tab on a date or anything. She just makes a bucketload more. Typical trade school brat who found a good idea and built a profitable business off it. That kind of success is attractive.
Plus, she looks totally fuckable in a fancy office suit. So that's a perk. |
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10-17-2009, 02:45 PM
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#19
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Super Sweet Fucks
IrezumiKiss is offline
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Forbidden City
Posts: 21,102
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I don't give a shit. I don't look at money that way. I wouldn't be dating someone who sees money as a status thing to flaunt and for me to feel inadequate by in the first place. I'm totally middle-class and I don't try to pretend I'm not. She'll know the deal if she's dating me and I wouldn't be the type to date for anyone doing Ivanka Trump social circles. Not that I'd turn that kinda lady and her scene down even if by some strange quirk of fate that we got together, but if I can't do something because I can't swing the bank, then I ain't doing it and I ain't feeling bad about not being able to do it.
Always another place to go, always another day to do stuff on. Or not do stuff and save your paper up until you can do it. One good thing about things being tight nowadays is that there's no more special medals being given out for people who show the world that they can spend a lot of money doing temporary disposable shit when other people can't.
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10-17-2009, 02:57 PM
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#20
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Poet Chick
Angeline is offline
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Birdnest
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IrezumiKiss
I don't give a shit. I don't look at money that way. I wouldn't be dating someone who sees money as a status thing to flaunt and for me to feel inadequate by in the first place. I'm totally middle-class and I don't try to pretend I'm not. She'll know the deal if she's dating me and I wouldn't be the type to date for anyone doing Ivanka Trump social circles. Not that I'd turn that kinda lady and her scene down even if by some strange quirk of fate that we got together, but if I can't do something because I can't swing the bank, then I ain't doing it and I ain't feeling bad about not being able to do it.
Always another place to go, always another day to do stuff on. Or not do stuff and save your paper up until you can do it. One good thing about things being tight nowadays is that there's no more special medals being given out for people who show the world that they can spend a lot of money doing temporary disposable shit when other people can't.
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This sounds so sensible to me. I had a very high powered corporate-type job for years. I made a lot of money but it was politcal and cutthroat in my business, the way big corporations are. After almost twenty years of it, I figured out a way to make less (but enough) money and not be part of that endless race after the dollar. I find I'm a much happier person for it. The real eye-opener for me the first few years of living on less was how much less I really felt I needed. Beyond a certain (fairly low) point, it's all just buying stuff you want, not need. And I didn't want to live anymore chasing after nicer cars and a bigger, fancier place to live, etc. It's just not important to me. I have more than enough for the things that are. I'm pretty sure that if I somehow came into a lot more money, the only thing I'd use it for (besides helping my kids) would be traveling more. |
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10-17-2009, 03:13 PM
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#21
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Literotica Guru
LadyFunkenstein is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: I come in colors
Posts: 27,007
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IrezumiKiss
I don't give a shit. I don't look at money that way. I wouldn't be dating someone who sees money as a status thing to flaunt and for me to feel inadequate by in the first place. I'm totally middle-class and I don't try to pretend I'm not. She'll know the deal if she's dating me and I wouldn't be the type to date for anyone doing Ivanka Trump social circles. Not that I'd turn that kinda lady and her scene down even if by some strange quirk of fate that we got together, but if I can't do something because I can't swing the bank, then I ain't doing it and I ain't feeling bad about not being able to do it.
Always another place to go, always another day to do stuff on. Or not do stuff and save your paper up until you can do it. One good thing about things being tight nowadays is that there's no more special medals being given out for people who show the world that they can spend a lot of money doing temporary disposable shit when other people can't.
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The woman in my example isn't flaunting. she can afford more than her bf, and that's that. why does her having money have to mean she's flaunting it? should she have pretended to want to have a cheaper weekend off so he wouldn't feel she was flaunting her monet? |
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10-17-2009, 03:16 PM
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#22
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Literotica Guru
LadyFunkenstein is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: I come in colors
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline
I made more money (alot more) than my ex and it seemed to drive him nuts. It never mattered to me one way or another, but some guys get their ego all tied up with it, you know? It was definitely a big factor is my marriage breaking up. I just don't see it because if I'm in that intimate a relationship, it's all our money. Now, my partner and I both have money put away separately for our kids, but everything else is in a communal pot.
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I'll bet lots of men have a problem with it and react the same way. |
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10-17-2009, 03:28 PM
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#23
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Super Sweet Fucks
IrezumiKiss is offline
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Forbidden City
Posts: 21,102
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
The woman in my example isn't flaunting. she can afford more than her bf, and that's that. why does her having money have to mean she's flaunting it? should she have pretended to want to have a cheaper weekend off so he wouldn't feel she was flaunting her monet?
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No, you're right. My saying "flaunting" probably didn't fit well with this particular case. It's clearly the BF who has an issue if he's balking. Or on a sideways glance, she shouldn't be made to feel wrong for wanting what she wants and can clearly afford.
If they are dating seriously, then both should meet halfway on it. If they want to do this together as a couple, then he should want to save up until he can swing his part and she should want to hold off on doing something until he can meet it. If it's a time-sensitive, one-time only dealie that they'll miss out on, then there should be better planning on both their sides to meet something they'll do together when cost is a factor. There's no reason anything in a relationship has to come down to a male/female money status fight. But I do understand that's easier said than done and that some men do have issues with a woman who earns more than they do. The problem here is not of money, but of ego. |
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10-17-2009, 03:37 PM
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#24
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I know you know better
Colonel Hogan is offline
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Within easy reach
Posts: 5,617
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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Money is corporate America's way of keeping score. It usually, along with job responsibilities, establishes levels of value within the corporate hierarchy. Value tends to imply differentiation as to personnel who are smarter vs. dumber, stronger vs. weaker, more or less talented, etc.
The precise ways in which money affects your relationship with your partner has as much or perhaps more to do with your relationship with your money and the degree to which you buy into the subliminal messages success is sending to you.
It's really not a gender issue. Rich people, male or female, have a tendency to be assholes in large part because of those subliminal messages.
Extrapolate that to a dating relationship, and we see that my potential feelings of inferiority are only half the problem if she is a rich bitch all full of herself -- even if her talents and accomplishments are unquestioned. There are three relationships involved here: guy + money; girl + money; guy + girl.
I would find it hard to date someone hugely more successful than myself because I tend to buy into the stereotypes a bit myself, and my assumption is that deep down inside, she probably does too. And there are ways for that to be subtly communicated without the subject ever coming up for discussion. |
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10-17-2009, 03:38 PM
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#25
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Literotica Guru
TerribleChester is offline
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Just before the hills.
Posts: 1,359
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyFunkenstein
How do you feel about dating women who earn almost double your pay or more?
Is it a good thing, a bad thing, or truly irrelevant? I don't want your intellectual answer to the question, I really want to know your thoughts on this.
I'm curious to see how people respond here, vs a conversation I recently had.
When I was married, I earned more than my husband. (Not a ton more!) I think it bothered him after a while. But to be honest, we never actually discussed it.
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Wouldn't care how much she earns.
Irrelevant.
Always paying for everything. Holidays, eating out, etc, that would bother me. I would feel as if I have no independence. |
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