How Do You Dump The Honey You Met Online?

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

You know the drill; by chance you meet them online at AH, swap a few PMs, and spend all night talking on the phone. Theyre perfect and seem nutty for you, too. So you make plans.

They fly in to see you, or you drive to see them, or you meet at a nice restaurant at a safe place. And OMG!

He's 4 foot tall. She needs baker's grease painted on her hips to squeeze thru a door. He's a triple amputee. She smells like the city dump. He lives in his car. Her trailer is full of cat shit and roaches. And theyre wild about you!

How do you dump them politely?

[Bianca_Sommerland]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

You know the drill; by chance you meet them online at AH, swap a few PMs, and spend all night talking on the phone. Theyre perfect and seem nutty for you, too. So you make plans.

They fly in to see you, or you drive to see them, or you meet at a nice restaurant at a safe place. And OMG!

He's 4 foot tall. She needs baker's grease painted on her hips to squeeze thru a door. He's a triple amputee. She smells like the city dump. He lives in his car. Her trailer is full of cat shit and roaches. And theyre wild about you!

How do you dump them politely?

Yikes. IDK, I like the idea of "Meet me at this location wearing [insert] and I'll be wearing [insert]"

Naturally I won't be wearing whatever I said I would...or it will be something I can remove at a moments notice. That way I can make a quick getaway if the person is repulsive. Then again I'm not very nice.

[lance gt]

First off, I wouldn't even meet with someone until we shared pics of each other and made sure a physical attraction was as good as the mental one. If we did decide to meet, at least I know what I'm in for. If it turns out she sent me a fake photo and she looks nothing like the pic she sent me, I can ignore who ever comes up to me and says "Hi" it's so and so. I can just leave and call it a day.
And Bianca, I have done what you've done too.

[CharleyH]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

How do you dump them politely?

Just like any RL date.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

I met some very strange ladies! And I met a few I'm close friends with 8 years later. Sometimes everything is terrific but the distance and all the stuff that goes with careers and living near the grandkids, etc. So you evolve into good friends.

[lance gt]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

I met some very strange ladies! And I met a few I'm close friends with 8 years later. Sometimes everything is terrific but the distance and all the stuff that goes with careers and living near the grandkids, etc. So you evolve into good friends.

That's not surprising jimmy, you're one strange dude. I wonder if they left the moment they saw you and went home again to erase you from their 'to do' list

[arielsgoddess]

I'd threaten to use the word 'discipline', but every time I use words with too many possibilities, I have trouble getting people to follow the conversation...SO, back to the topic: I agree it's the same as RL. Hindsight is 20/20, and if you can't tell where the eyes on that thing are...walk quickly in the other direction. If you're suave (can someone whose hobby is slinging poo be suave), tell her nicely that you were not 'with' her exclusively online (and don't EVER lie and tell her she's 'the only one' or you deserve to have your bunny boiled, mister, by the first Fatal Attraction/psycho-static-cling that you drool into the cleavage of!)--and gently break it to her that things have become serious with another woman, slap three dollars on the table to cover her drink, and don't make the mistake again. Lance is right--if you need her to look a certain category, be honest with yourself and her and exchange pix. If the pix aren't compatible to each other, neither are your minds in the real world. While some people say 'just don't look for love online'--pshaw!--we're alive, and when we're attracted, it doesn't matter how we got there. The quest to get laid is a legitimate quest. Just follow the rules. I think the quest to get laid explains everything in the course of human history--even continental migrations--doesn't matter whether they were looking for fresh meat or just getting away from the judgmental geezers who couldn't cross landbridges to follow them--we all know darn well what they did when they got there, because we're here. Maybe we should ask Lance about that, though--he looks like he's dressed for it--

[uzya]

Umm... Just sign off?

[lance gt]

Originally Posted by arielsgoddess

I'd threaten to use the word 'discipline', but every time I use words with too many possibilities, I have trouble getting people to follow the conversation...SO, back to the topic: I agree it's the same as RL. Hindsight is 20/20, and if you can't tell where the eyes on that thing are...walk quickly in the other direction. If you're suave (can someone whose hobby is slinging poo be suave), tell her nicely that you were not 'with' her exclusively online (and don't EVER lie and tell her she's 'the only one' or you deserve to have your bunny boiled, mister, by the first Fatal Attraction/psycho-static-cling that you drool into the cleavage of!)--and gently break it to her that things have become serious with another woman, slap three dollars on the table to cover her drink, and don't make the mistake again. Lance is right--if you need her to look a certain category, be honest with yourself and her and exchange pix. If the pix aren't compatible to each other, neither are your minds in the real world. While some people say 'just don't look for love online'--pshaw!--we're alive, and when we're attracted, it doesn't matter how we got there. The quest to get laid is a legitimate quest. Just follow the rules. I think the quest to get laid explains everything in the course of human history--even continental migrations--doesn't matter whether they were looking for fresh meat or just getting away from the judgmental geezers who couldn't cross landbridges to follow them--we all know darn well what they did when they got there, because we're here. Maybe we should ask Lance about that, though--he looks like he's dressed for it--

Lol, Now you know why the Scots wear kilts. The Boy Scouts learned from us about being prepared. And no, there's nothing under the kilt to impede the moment, should it ... ahem.. Arise!

[arielsgoddess]

Kilt: Because it's so big, that's what it did to the last lassie...may she RIP
Kilt: Because if you're there for the wrong reasons, that's what you'll be
Kilt: What better keeper of your other sword? Truth in advertising laddies!....etc

Memo to Scotsmen, though: If it's gonna 'arise' it better last a helluva lot longer than a moment--hell hath no fury like a horny redhead scorned!!!

[lance gt]

Originally Posted by arielsgoddess

Kilt: Because it's so big, that's what it did to the last lassie...may she RIP
Kilt: Because if you're there for the wrong reasons, that's what you'll be
Kilt: What better keeper of your other sword? Truth in advertising laddies!....etc

Memo to Scotsmen, though: If it's gonna 'arise' it better last a helluva lot longer than a moment--hell hath no fury like a horny redhead scorned!!!

Damn girl, you're a redhead and horny? I'm in love! And believe me, when it's up, it's up till the job is done. Nothing I like better to see is a puddle on the bed with a smile, where my woman used to be.

p.s. I think Sexuelle is taking off

[arielsgoddess]

ANY woman in furs or plaid is dangerous to leave frustrated--even if she is a redneck, and not even a redhead--I'm sure some of our 'love vets' here could start a thread about "Hell hath no fury...". How about you, Mr. Johnson--would you be game enough to start us, get the other men to tell their tales of women & 'the war'?

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Originally Posted by arielsgoddess

ANY woman in furs or plaid is dangerous to leave frustrated--even if she is a redneck, and not even a redhead--I'm sure some of our 'love vets' here could start a thread about "Hell hath no fury...". How about you, Mr. Johnson--would you be game enough to start us, get the other men to tell their tales of women & 'the war'?

Do you wanna know about the best or the worst of um?

Lance your people musta been highland trash, mine were lowland aristocrats who wore pants.

Highland trash use a kilt for multiple reasons: it covers their tiny peckers, they naturally squat like girls so its convenient, at night they sleep beneath it, and its handy for wiping your ass when youve never seen toilet paper in your life. Some nasty highland trash collect enough vermin in their kilt that at supper time they simply remove it, spread it over a stump, and eat the vermin.

[lance gt]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

Do you wanna know about the best or the worst of um?

Lance your people musta been highland trash, mine were lowland aristocrats who wore pants.

Highland trash use a kilt for multiple reasons: it covers their tiny peckers, they naturally squat like girls so its convenient, at night they sleep beneath it, and its handy for wiping your ass when youve never seen toilet paper in your life. Some nasty highland trash collect enough vermin in their kilt that at supper time they simply remove it, spread it over a stump, and eat the vermin.

That's why I love ya so much Jimmy, you can tell someone something and make sure it has a good dose of shit to go with it.
Kilts were worn by true Scots all over. The ones who wore pants were suck-ups to the English who told them to get rid of their kilts if they wanted to be part of their realm. The ones who resisted and continued to wear their kilts, fought against the wussy turncoats who sided with the English and kicked their bitchy little asses back there. As for me, I come from a proud and honourable clan in the west highlands, have a clan castle and heritage I can stuff up your ass till next Tuesday. No one thinks of Scottish men wearing anything, but a kilt. So tell me more about your great ancestoral heritage of pant wearing sissies who gave up their identity to gain favour with the English. I'd be ashamed to call myself a Scotsman knowing that my ancestors were total wimps. The only pipes your people blew were between an Englishman's legs.

[arielsgoddess]

And you are proved you are still the alpha of poo-slinging, Mr.Johnson.....
Keeping that in mind, I guess I might shy away from wanting the visual or description of the women and scenarios of what You were intimidated by or the female equals of such contemtuous prowess that you seduced...no, I must honestly say that sometimes my imagination works TOO good, and it's like I'm right there.....Manners say I should thank you for your prompt response, so again, I did ask for it...Ariel

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Originally Posted by lance gt

That's why I love ya so much Jimmy, you can tell someone something and make sure it has a good dose of shit to go with it.
Kilts were worn by true Scots all over. The ones who wore pants were suck-ups to the English who told them to get rid of their kilts if they wanted to be part of their realm. The ones who resisted and continued to wear their kilts, fought against the wussy turncoats who sided with the English and kicked their bitchy little asses back there. As for me, I come from a proud and honourable clan in the west highlands, have a clan castle and heritage I can stuff up your ass till next Tuesday. No one thinks of Scottish men wearing anything, but a kilt. So tell me more about your great ancestoral heritage of pant wearing sissies who gave up their identity to gain favour with the English. I'd be ashamed to call myself a Scotsman knowing that my ancestors were total wimps. The only pipes your people blew were between an Englishman's legs.

I knew you had to be highland trash.

I have many Scots lines. Johnston. Grant. Stewart. Alexander. Bruce. Duncan. Alan. McDuffie. Drummond. Too many to name. The Johnstons were the ferocious Border raiders who scared the crap out of both sides.

[Zeb_Carter]

Ask her if she's a slut and that you have a stable of guys lined up waiting to try her out.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Just tell her you'll get back to her after you get rid of the STD.

[lance gt]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

I knew you had to be highland trash.

I have many Scots lines. Johnston. Grant. Stewart. Alexander. Bruce. Duncan. Alan. McDuffie. Drummond. Too many to name. The Johnstons were the ferocious Border raiders who scared the crap out of both sides.

of course they did. Any body coming across a bunch of naked heathens fucking each other up the arse would scare anyone. And the fact they were filthy made it all the worse. Smelly, naked heathens. And you're a descendant eh?

[Isid]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

You know the drill; by chance you meet them online at AH, swap a few PMs, and spend all night talking on the phone. Theyre perfect and seem nutty for you, too. So you make plans.

They fly in to see you, or you drive to see them, or you meet at a nice restaurant at a safe place. And OMG!

He's 4 foot tall. She needs baker's grease painted on her hips to squeeze thru a door. He's a triple amputee. She smells like the city dump. He lives in his car. Her trailer is full of cat shit and roaches. And theyre wild about you!

How do you dump them politely?

well... maybe ... tell them to their face you ain't interested? nothing is more polite than a bit of honesty...

[playwithlezli]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

You know the drill; by chance you meet them online at AH, swap a few PMs, and spend all night talking on the phone. Theyre perfect and seem nutty for you, too. So you make plans.

They fly in to see you, or you drive to see them, or you meet at a nice restaurant at a safe place. And OMG!

He's 4 foot tall. She needs baker's grease painted on her hips to squeeze thru a door. He's a triple amputee. She smells like the city dump. He lives in his car. Her trailer is full of cat shit and roaches. And theyre wild about you!

How do you dump them politely?

If you met them on line at the AH, I would think you just now told them with this thread then eh?

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Originally Posted by Isid

well... maybe ... tell them to their face you ain't interested? nothing is more polite than a bit of honesty...

How many honest people would you guess come to LIT? Zero?

Its been my experience that people will endure and forgive any and every treachery, and scam but they will never accept or forgive honesty-truth. So if thats how people are, you give them a yarn that soothes their tender egos and makes them feel good about the dump.

[slyc_willie]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

How many honest people would you guess come to LIT? Zero?

Its been my experience that people will endure and forgive any and every treachery, and scam but they will never accept or forgive honesty-truth. So if thats how people are, you give them a yarn that soothes their tender egos and makes them feel good about the dump.

Your experience is colored. But then, you've never ventured outside the safe zone of anonymous shit-flinging, which maintains the wonderful little bubble in which you exist. Or barely, at any rate.

Admit it. You'd shit your britches if you dared walk any further than necessary to gather the morning paper.

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Originally Posted by slyc_willie

Your experience is colored. But then, you've never ventured outside the safe zone of anonymous shit-flinging, which maintains the wonderful little bubble in which you exist. Or barely, at any rate.

Admit it. You'd shit your britches if you dared walk any further than necessary to gather the morning paper.

Dont bet your farm on your theory.

[slyc_willie]

Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON

Dont bet your farm on your theory.

What, no witty quotes from "the greats?" You're disappointing, Jimmy. I expected something long-winded and empty.

I like reading your posts. They're whimsical in the same vein as are my three-year-old daughter's observances of the world.

But hers are more profound.