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10-07-2009, 09:52 PM
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#1
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Passing the time...
Delicacy is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alaska
Posts: 11,849
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I'm Scared
My 74 year old mother-in-law, whom I love very much, was diagnosed with inoperable, stage 3 lung cancer on Friday. The cancer has spread up into her clavicle area and her oncologist thinks the cancer may have spread to her brain-due to severe headaches and failing eyesight. Right now I am waiting to hear the results of that test.
My husband has been down in California since the 21st to be with her during her diagnosis and testing, but he needs to come back up here to take care of his business, which means I will have to fly down to take care of her during her radiation treatments.
Her brother passed away this morning and she is very depressed and questioning her morality. I want to be able to fly down and try to stay positive for her, but I don't know if I can do that when I feel so sad and my heart is so heavy. I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea what to say to her. I have no idea what to do. I hope that I am able to stay strong for her and take care of her, but I am so afraid. I've never had to deal with anything like this before.
I've been looking for information, but everything is so confusing to me right now. If anyone can suggest a easy to understand website or advice, or something, I would really appreciate the help...
__________________
The other, other, other white meat.
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10-07-2009, 09:54 PM
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#2
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Now read on. Dot Dot Dot
NoJo is offline
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Longitude Zero
Posts: 14,382
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I've dealt with it more than my share -- you don't need to be brave and strong, you just have show love.
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10-07-2009, 09:56 PM
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#3
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.
Killswitch is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 79,696
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Yikes.
Anything I say would be a cliche.
So I'll be practical and rather tasteless instead, with all due respect and you know I care about you.
Make sure she has a last will and testament, and try to provide any last wishes she may have.
Maybe bring one of the doggies to comfort her if she doesn't have one.
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10-07-2009, 09:57 PM
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#4
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Gatinha~ღ
JustSkye is offline
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Looking toward the North Star.
Posts: 48,914
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sub Joe
I've dealt with it more than my share -- you don't need to be brave and strong, you just have show love.
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That was my thought as well. Just be there and show you care.
I'm so sorry, Delicacy. |
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10-07-2009, 09:59 PM
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#5
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Fatuus Parvus
Peregrinator is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: PDX for a couple more weeks.
Posts: 63,646
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Deli, all my love and positive energy goes out to you during this trial. I hope your MIL makes a miraculous recovery and lives to be a hundred.
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10-07-2009, 10:01 PM
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#6
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Vanilla with a twist
just pet is offline
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The original JP - accept no substitutions
Posts: 48,248
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I'm so sorry. Such a difficult situation. Please let me know if I can help in any way. I'm an ear if you need... 
__________________
A legend in her own mons
pet's poetry
Beauty is sort of a nuclear bomb. You don't really get to choose who gets hit by it... I want to watch the animal you become as I fuck you
~ a Lit friend
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10-07-2009, 10:03 PM
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#7
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Plumbing the Depths
Ham Murabi is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: In the Zona
Posts: 18,891
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delicacy
My 74 year old mother-in-law is very depressed and questioning her morality. I want to be able to fly down and try to stay positive for her. ...
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Might as well take one of the Chippendale's cast members with you.
__________________
I have a code.
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10-07-2009, 10:04 PM
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#8
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Literotica Guru
Redatlit is offline
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: The real world
Posts: 5,984
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Delicacy, from everything I've read here you're a strong and loving person. You'll know what to say and what to do....... Just trust yourself. It will exhaust you, so don't forget to take care of yourself, too. |
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10-07-2009, 10:05 PM
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#9
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cogito ergo sum
HB1965 is offline
Join Date: May 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 24,505
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delicacy
My 74 year old mother-in-law, whom I love very much, was diagnosed with inoperable, stage 3 lung cancer on Friday. The cancer has spread up into her clavicle area and her oncologist thinks the cancer may have spread to her brain-due to severe headaches and failing eyesight. Right now I am waiting to hear the results of that test.
My husband has been down in California since the 21st to be with her during her diagnosis and testing, but he needs to come back up here to take care of his business, which means I will have to fly down to take care of her during her radiation treatments.
Her brother passed away this morning and she is very depressed and questioning her morality. I want to be able to fly down and try to stay positive for her, but I don't know if I can do that when I feel so sad and my heart is so heavy. I have no idea what to expect. I have no idea what to say to her. I have no idea what to do. I hope that I am able to stay strong for her and take care of her, but I am so afraid. I've never had to deal with anything like this before.
I've been looking for information, but everything is so confusing to me right now. If anyone can suggest a easy to understand website or advice, or something, I would really appreciate the help...
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My sister-in-law went through a battle with Lung cancer last year. She felt that a lot of things helped her to recover which has included a change in diet and meditation. Also the Cancer Society offered support groups for her and the rest of the family. My brother said they were very helpful in helping him understand. |
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10-07-2009, 10:12 PM
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#10
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Literotica Guru
1hotbabe is offline
Join Date: Mar 2002
Posts: 26,739
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I'm so sorry to hear about your Mother-in-law!
__________________
The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it.
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10-07-2009, 10:15 PM
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#11
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Killswitch is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 79,696
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Redatlit
Delicacy, from everything I've read here you're a strong and loving person. You'll know what to say and what to do....... Just trust yourself. It will exhaust you, so don't forget to take care of yourself, too. |
Good call. |
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10-07-2009, 10:20 PM
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#12
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Literotica Guru
IAboy is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,074
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I pray for you right now. My grandma died in August and it still hurts. What you are going through is very painful. Take care of yourself and know that you have friends that care about you. Is there any other family that you can turn to for support? If not, you have many friends here that you can turn to.
__________________
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
~ Mignon McLaughlin
Just another hopeless romantic...
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10-07-2009, 10:34 PM
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#13
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Literotica Guru
glo33 is offline
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 10,163
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Del..i am so sorry.
you dont need to show your strenght...show your love and compassion and support...she'll draw strenght from there.
i am so sorry.
you will know what to do when you get there and you are with her.
i am in california as well. send me a pm if you would like to talk once you get here.
i am so sorry and i will pray for you and your mom.
__________________
.......and don't you wag your finger at me little missie....
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10-07-2009, 10:42 PM
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#14
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Literotica Guru
IAboy is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Iowa
Posts: 2,074
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Quote:
Originally Posted by glo33
Del..i am so sorry.
you dont need to show your strenght...show your love and compassion and support...she'll draw strenght from there.
i am so sorry.
you will know what to do when you get there and you are with her.
i am in california as well. send me a pm if you would like to talk once you get here.
i am so sorry and i will pray for you and your mom.
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That's what I love about this thread.... The compassion that is shown from one person to another.
__________________
In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything, and two minus one equals nothing.
~ Mignon McLaughlin
Just another hopeless romantic...
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10-07-2009, 10:44 PM
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#15
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Passing the time...
Delicacy is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alaska
Posts: 11,849
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Killswitch
Yikes.
Anything I say would be a cliche.
So I'll be practical and rather tasteless instead, with all due respect and you know I care about you.
Make sure she has a last will and testament, and try to provide any last wishes she may have.
Maybe bring one of the doggies to comfort her if she doesn't have one.
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She's got everything in order. She also has 4 Dachshunds that my youngest daughter will take. I love weenies, but a household of 8 (I have 4, too) of the little shits would be just a bit too many.
__________________
The other, other, other white meat.
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10-07-2009, 10:55 PM
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#16
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.
Killswitch is offline
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 79,696
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delicacy
She's got everything in order. She also has 4 Dachshunds that my youngest daughter will take. I love weenies, but a household of 8 (I have 4, too) of the little shits would be just a bit too many.
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Thats good. I just wondered if she had any pets. I know the healing power of animals and have often wanted to spend time with meadow and one of my cats volunteering at a hospice or hospital bringing them along to hang with sick folks.
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10-07-2009, 11:04 PM
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#17
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The good little witch.
glynndah is offline
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Floating around in my sparkly bubble
Posts: 19,711
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I'll keep you and yours in my thoughts.
__________________
"A picture may be worth a thousand words, but sometimes just a few carefully chosen words can inspire thousands of pictures."
"My! People come and go so quickly here!"
“Technically, a witch is always a lady, except when circumstances dictate otherwise.”
"A  from a good witch brings a week of good luck!"
My stories
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10-07-2009, 11:10 PM
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#18
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Passing the time...
Delicacy is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alaska
Posts: 11,849
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustSkye
That was my thought as well. Just be there and show you care.
I'm so sorry, Delicacy.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sub Joe
I've dealt with it more than my share -- you don't need to be brave and strong, you just have show love.
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She's onery (she was a Stanislaus County Sheriff for 20 years) and it will be hard to show my love without overstepping my boundaries.
__________________
The other, other, other white meat.
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10-07-2009, 11:13 PM
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#19
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Passing the time...
Delicacy is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alaska
Posts: 11,849
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ham Murabi
Might as well take one of the Chippendale's cast members with you.
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Yeah. I know I messed up with that word. Sometimes my fingers over rule my brain. But thanks for the little chuckle.
__________________
The other, other, other white meat.
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10-07-2009, 11:15 PM
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#20
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Passing the time...
Delicacy is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alaska
Posts: 11,849
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustSkye
That was my thought as well. Just be there and show you care.
I'm so sorry, Delicacy.
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Thanks, Skye. My middle daughter, in Fargo, took a 4 month leave of absence from her job and will fly down on the 21st. She does hospice care, so hopefully she can show us what needs to be done.
__________________
The other, other, other white meat.
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10-07-2009, 11:17 PM
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#21
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Passing the time...
Delicacy is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alaska
Posts: 11,849
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Peregrinator
Deli, all my love and positive energy goes out to you during this trial. I hope your MIL makes a miraculous recovery and lives to be a hundred.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by just pet
I'm so sorry. Such a difficult situation. Please let me know if I can help in any way. I'm an ear if you need... |
Quote:
Originally Posted by Redatlit
Delicacy, from everything I've read here you're a strong and loving person. You'll know what to say and what to do....... Just trust yourself. It will exhaust you, so don't forget to take care of yourself, too. |
I thank you for your support and well wishes. I will try my best to do what nees to be done.
__________________
The other, other, other white meat.
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10-07-2009, 11:19 PM
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#22
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Wandering the Boards
frdrcnjohn is offline
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Spring Creek NV
Posts: 2,400
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My prayers are with you
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10-07-2009, 11:20 PM
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#23
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Super Sweet Fucks
IrezumiKiss is offline
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: The Forbidden City
Posts: 21,102
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Delicacy
She's onery (she was a Stanislaus County Sheriff for 20 years) and it will be hard to show my love without overstepping my boundaries.
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Ornery people fight for livin'. Her having been a sheriff means she's already stronger than most in the world. She'll be good and so will you. Just be you. Keep the faith. |
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10-07-2009, 11:20 PM
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#24
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Passing the time...
Delicacy is offline
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Alaska
Posts: 11,849
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HB1965
My sister-in-law went through a battle with Lung cancer last year. She felt that a lot of things helped her to recover which has included a change in diet and meditation. Also the Cancer Society offered support groups for her and the rest of the family. My brother said they were very helpful in helping him understand.
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I'll look into that once I'm down there. Did your sister-in-law fully recover? From what I've read, with her diagnosis, my mother-in-law has about 1 1/2 years, at the most. That's what breaks my heart the most. Her great-grandson isn't even 2 years old yet. I don't think he'll even remember her.
__________________
The other, other, other white meat.
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10-07-2009, 11:31 PM
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#25
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Happy Heart
Collette is offline
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Sharing a shell.
Posts: 5,822
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You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers, Del. |
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