I'm an emotional wreck

[JohnnySavage]

So last evening I was sitting on the porch at the Savage Estate, just minding my own business and enjoying the cool Fall weather. I had a fire going in the pit and a tall glass of iced tea in my hand.

I looked across the way and noticed that the next door neighbor's daughter had gotten a new puppy. I'm not really sure how old the little girl is, as all those snot-blowers look the same to me. She's about 3-feet high though, so I assume she's between 4 and 14. In hindsight, she never goes to school, so she must be younger than school-age, whatever age that is.

Anyway... The little bastard was in her back yard playing with this little ball of fluff (which was yapping away and annoying me (the dog, not the girl)). The dog was one of those hand-sized creatures. It was white and looked like a big ball of fluff (again, the dog, not the kid).

As I put my feet up on the hearth I noticed that the dog was starting to scamper away from the child. Of course, my first thought was that the dog was going to crap on my lawn, but suddenly this HUGE bird swooped down and snatched that little dog right off of the lawn!

Now I'm as feeling and compassionate as the next person, but I really didn't want to have the child blowing snot all over my pant-legs (swine flu and all). So I stood up, and looked across the lawn. The child had a blank look on her face, then let out this blood-curdling scream... then the tears started flowing.

Well. I was at first shocked, then sad, then worried that I would have to console the creature (the child, not the dog. Of course, the dog was long gone). As soon as I settled my resolve and decided that I had no choice but to go over there and pat the little bastard on the head, and tell her it would be ok, the mother came running out.

Whew. That was a close one.

Shock, fear, sadness, euphoria all withing a minute. I'm spent.

[TurdFergeson]

Hawk?

[JohnnySavage]

Originally Posted by TurdFergeson

Hawk?

I have no idea. My "Birds of North America" book wasn't handy.

[firespin]

Sounds like one of those nature shows.

I've always wondered how the guy filming those things decides when to keep filming, and when to stop.

"And now, Steve will try to set the top jaw rope.

Ah, too bad for him, he slipped. Crikey.

Now the huge saltwater crock has Steve firmly in his vice-like jaws.

Steve appears to be trying to tell us something.

Let's move in for a closer look and see what he has to say!"


Are you sure you didn't conjure up this bird of prey from some inner desire to see the yappy puppy silenced?

[JohnnySavage]

I'm just glad I wasn't sporting my coon-skin cap.

[islandman]

She's young. She'll have forgotten about it in a day or two.

[KRCummings]

Originally Posted by firespin

Sounds like one of those nature shows.

I've always wondered how the guy filming those things decides when to keep filming, and when to stop.

"And now, Steve will try to set the top jaw rope.

Ah, too bad for him, he slipped. Crikey.

Now the huge saltwater crock has Steve firmly in his vice-like jaws.

Steve appears to be trying to tell us something.

Let's move in for a closer look and see what he has to say!"


Are you sure you didn't conjure up this bird of prey from some inner desire to see the yappy puppy silenced?

I miss Steve Irwin. I see these guys now catching crocs and snakes and such and they use ropes and traps and all kinds of stuff. Steve just jumped in and grabbed the fuckers.
I watch Animal Planet now and all I can think is "What a bunch of pussies."

[JohnnySavage]

Originally Posted by islandman

She's young. She'll have forgotten about it in a day or two.

Who cares about her? It's me that's emotionally scarred.

[Karen Kraft]

Originally Posted by JohnnySavage

So last evening I was sitting on the porch at the Savage Estate, just minding my own business and enjoying the cool Fall weather. I had a fire going in the pit and a tall glass of iced tea in my hand.

I looked across the way and noticed that the next door neighbor's daughter had gotten a new puppy. I'm not really sure how old the little girl is, as all those snot-blowers look the same to me. She's about 3-feet high though, so I assume she's between 4 and 14. In hindsight, she never goes to school, so she must be younger than school-age, whatever age that is.

Anyway... The little bastard was in her back yard playing with this little ball of fluff (which was yapping away and annoying me (the dog, not the girl)). The dog was one of those hand-sized creatures. It was white and looked like a big ball of fluff (again, the dog, not the kid).

As I put my feet up on the hearth I noticed that the dog was starting to scamper away from the child. Of course, my first thought was that the dog was going to crap on my lawn, but suddenly this HUGE bird swooped down and snatched that little dog right off of the lawn!

Now I'm as feeling and compassionate as the next person, but I really didn't want to have the child blowing snot all over my pant-legs (swine flu and all). So I stood up, and looked across the lawn. The child had a blank look on her face, then let out this blood-curdling scream... then the tears started flowing.

Well. I was at first shocked, then sad, then worried that I would have to console the creature (the child, not the dog. Of course, the dog was long gone). As soon as I settled my resolve and decided that I had no choice but to go over there and pat the little bastard on the head, and tell her it would be ok, the mother came running out.

Whew. That was a close one.

Shock, fear, sadness, euphoria all withing a minute. I'm spent.

Dude.

Once again, you missed the point.

The girl was falconing and had a large supply of little dogs in a cardboard box next to the chrome and Formica kitchen table. She was crying because, yet again, her mom was too slow in getting her obese ass out the door to witness the youngster's bird do its thing.

It's all about perspective.

http://feshis.files.wordpress.com/20...8-13-08-61.jpg

[islandman]

Originally Posted by JohnnySavage

Who cares about her? It's me that's emotionally scarred.

We knew that before said story.

[TurdFergeson]

Originally Posted by JohnnySavage

I have no idea. My "Birds of North America" book wasn't handy.

Well, it was obviously a large bird of prey.

Eagle, hawk, or maybe even an owl.

[JohnnySavage]

Originally Posted by islandman

We knew that before said story.

I sure dodged a bullet when the mother came out.

[islandman]

Originally Posted by JohnnySavage

I sure dodged a bullet when the mother came out.

Fugly or Cowboys fan?

[KRCummings]

Where the fuck do you live where giant birds swoop down to take puppies?
Is it Land of the Lost or something?

[JohnnySavage]

Originally Posted by islandman

Fugly or Cowboys fan?

The mother? She's very attractive, except for always having the snot-blower following her around.

[SaintPeter]

Originally Posted by KRCummings

Where the fuck do you live where giant birds swoop down to take puppies?
Is it Land of the Lost or something?

Yeah, no shit.

Sounds like he gets his grog at Mountian Moes's.

[JohnnySavage]

Originally Posted by KRCummings

Where the fuck do you live where giant birds swoop down to take puppies?
Is it Land of the Lost or something?

On the banks of the Potomac. We have all sorts of nature here... deer, foxes, rabbits, bears, and apparently viscous birds.

[Kybele]

Originally Posted by JohnnySavage

So last evening I was sitting on the porch at the Savage Estate, just minding my own business and enjoying the cool Fall weather. I had a fire going in the pit and a tall glass of iced tea in my hand.

I looked across the way and noticed that the next door neighbor's daughter had gotten a new puppy. I'm not really sure how old the little girl is, as all those snot-blowers look the same to me. She's about 3-feet high though, so I assume she's between 4 and 14. In hindsight, she never goes to school, so she must be younger than school-age, whatever age that is.

Anyway... The little bastard was in her back yard playing with this little ball of fluff (which was yapping away and annoying me (the dog, not the girl)). The dog was one of those hand-sized creatures. It was white and looked like a big ball of fluff (again, the dog, not the kid).

As I put my feet up on the hearth I noticed that the dog was starting to scamper away from the child. Of course, my first thought was that the dog was going to crap on my lawn, but suddenly this HUGE bird swooped down and snatched that little dog right off of the lawn!

Now I'm as feeling and compassionate as the next person, but I really didn't want to have the child blowing snot all over my pant-legs (swine flu and all). So I stood up, and looked across the lawn. The child had a blank look on her face, then let out this blood-curdling scream... then the tears started flowing.

Well. I was at first shocked, then sad, then worried that I would have to console the creature (the child, not the dog. Of course, the dog was long gone). As soon as I settled my resolve and decided that I had no choice but to go over there and pat the little bastard on the head, and tell her it would be ok, the mother came running out.

Whew. That was a close one.

Shock, fear, sadness, euphoria all withing a minute. I'm spent.

LMFAO! thank you!

[SaintPeter]

Originally Posted by JohnnySavage

On the banks of the Potomac. We have all sorts of nature here... deer, foxes, rabbits, bears, and apparently viscous birds.

Oh.

Make that Mounting Moe's.

[JohnnySavage]

Originally Posted by SaintPeter

Oh.

Make that Mounting Moe's.

Swampy Sammy's

[LadyFunkenstein]

I'm jealous - i LOVE to see raptors in action! Lucky you to live in such an environment.

[IrezumiKiss]

Maybe it was a Roc.



Roc (mythology)
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

A roc or rukh (from the Arabic and Persian رخ rokh,[1] asserted by Louis Charles Casartelli[2] to be an abbreviated form of Persian simurgh) is an enormous legendary bird of prey, often white, reputed to have been able to carry off and eat elephants.[3]

[IsabellaKing]

I know someone who gained a kitten in this way. A buzzard dropped it in their garden as it flew over.

One little kid’s loss…

[KRCummings]

When I was out in Boise I went to the World Center for Birds of Prey. Very interesting and more fun than you'd think. Got to see just about everything. Condors, owls, eagles, falcons, etc.
Condors are ugly motherfuckers, BTW. We worked so hard to save them you sorta assume they're cute but no. Fucking ugly. Fugly. Coyote ugly. 3 six packs and a fifth ugly.

[_stryder_]

Originally Posted by JohnnySavage

On the banks of the Potomac. We have all sorts of nature here... deer, foxes, rabbits, bears, and apparently viscous birds.

If the birds weren't viscous how would the prey adhere itself to the talons?

Perhaps an osprey