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27F - My parents would like me to be part of their marriage. Seeking advice.

lauraborealis said:
Thanks for your input everyone. Further thoughts and PM’s are welcome.
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How has the feedback of others here influenced your thinking? I realize your thoughts are most likely still a work in progress, but it might be helpful to hear how your currently processing this and what questions you might have along the way....
 
lauraborealis said:
I’m not attracted to them, at all, and the idea of incest...of THAT kind of intimacy with them...is really hard to wrap my head around. But I do trust them, completely. I love them...they’re genuinely good people. They’ve always been good, kind, supportive parents...my biggest cheerleaders. I hate the idea of letting them down. There’s a big part of me that feels like I just need to put on my big girl pants and do this.
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I don't understand why people are suggesting this is a difficult question or a conundrum. Healthy sexuality isn't about grinning and bearing it. Sure you can do things for a loving partner that don't turn you on but you don't do stuff you hate. Your not attracted to them sexually and you don't look at them like just other adults. You still look at them as your parents and that's okay. Tell them your flattered they are attracted to you but you still see both of them as just your parents and don't feel comfortable crossing that boundary.
 
lauraborealis said:
Thanks for your input everyone. Further thoughts and PM’s are welcome.
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Laura, this thread got my attention immediately. I have been in a similar situation. My mother crossed this line at an early age for me. When I was 25, she presented me with the same conumdrum. My Dad had stopped having sex with with or anyone. He had 2 affairs before. I can continue here or in PM ,its up to you.
 
lauraborealis said:
Thank you to everyone who’s given me feedback. I’ve sat down with my mom and dad and we’ve talked this our further as parents and daughter. I’m still wrestling with a final decision and welcome further input. My PM’s are open too. I’m happy to open up more in private conversation with anyone who’d like to learn more. I only ask that you make it clear in your introduction that you’re intelligent and articulate (and a good speller!) and genuinely curious in an in-depth exploration of what I’m dealing with.
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Sent you a pm
 
Lesley74 said:
Once you cross this line there is very little chance of going back to the relationship you've got now. It changes how you view someone, your level of trust
It could also change your relationship with other family members such as siblings. The feelings of guilt, remorse, shame and worse can all surface.
What happens if you start a relationship of your own, can you be truly open and honest with them?
You sound a level headed, intelligent person so think hard, do the pro's out weigh the cons both short term and long term.
Good luck
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Agreed, A lot of times it's the wanting that is the most pleasurable and once things are had, eventually... it fades and what will remain? Kind of a have your cake and eat it too problem.
 
lauraborealis said:
Thank you to everyone who’s given me feedback. I’ve sat down with my mom and dad and we’ve talked this our further as parents and daughter. I’m still wrestling with a final decision and welcome further input. My PM’s are open too. I’m happy to open up more in private conversation with anyone who’d like to learn more. I only ask that you make it clear in your introduction that you’re intelligent and articulate (and a good speller!) and genuinely curious in an in-depth exploration of what I’m dealing with.
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Your in a hard place. Would like to here more on what you decide and how you feel after the fact.
 
IMHO, incest is only a word. Beaten into our minds our entire lives as a bad thing, by people who themselves do it, to keep the rest of us from enjoyin all the pleasures of life. Consenting people have the right to do who they desire, no matter the title or label they hold. If you don’t find the person desirable, simply say no. Too many worry aboot the let down of others. Everyone gets declined at some point in their lives. Breathe in, breathe out, move on
 
I say go for it and have fun. We didn't start having sex with out son and daughter and their spouses until they were about your age, but we wish now that we had started sooner because it has brought us all closer together.
 
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