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Old 07-24-2017, 07:40 PM   #1
adrift82
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All That's Thought and Left Unsaid

Passing through a store the other day, I heard two people discussing the old thought that if you stick a frog in boiling water it will jump out, but if you stick a frog in lukewarm water and turn the heat on, it will just sit there, oblivious to the rising temperature.

Driving home that got me thinking if the same was true for the air we breathe. Have somebody place their hand over your mouth and you panic. But what if, bit by bit, day by day, some invisible hand was sapping the oxygen from your air. You're tired, you feel off, but it happens so slowly that you don't notice, until one day in an epiphany you cry out at how difficult it had become to just breathe.

This is all metaphor by the way. I promise I harbor no perverse asphyxiation fetish. But it is the best way to describe how I feel.

How did I get to this place? How did I wake up in my mid 30s dumbfounded by how much of a lack of intimacy and compassion are in my life?

it's different than loneliness. I am surrounded by people, and yet I still long for that one singular connection that leaves you feeling completely connected to another person. I am not sure if I had that and lost it, or if I was just kidding myself the entire time.

The only thing I really know is that I go through the routine of each day, increasingly aware of how utterly devoid I am of that one special intimate friendship I so desperately seek. And the more elusive it becomes, the more I feel like my mind is devoid of the emotional and psychological oxygen that flows from having that kind of connection to somebody.

Obviously this is a long and only half coherent rambling. I am not sure if it is a personal ad, a catharsis, or just the illogical output of a bad nights sleep.

But whatever it is, I am "here." And if you are "here" too, write to me.

(obligatory basics: 35, male, skinny, blond, professional, educated, clean cut).

women only please

Last edited by adrift82 : 07-24-2017 at 09:56 PM.
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Old 07-24-2017, 08:26 PM   #2
wistfulwench
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You've written one of the best personals I've seen on Lit. Importantly, you've articulated what brings so many of us to Lit.

Wishing you much success in finding that psychological oxygen.
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Old 07-25-2017, 12:41 PM   #3
adrift82
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Thank you very much.
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Old 07-25-2017, 12:48 PM   #4
96grad
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adrift82 View Post
Passing through a store the other day, I heard two people discussing the old thought that if you stick a frog in boiling water it will jump out, but if you stick a frog in lukewarm water and turn the heat on, it will just sit there, oblivious to the rising temperature.

Driving home that got me thinking if the same was true for the air we breathe. Have somebody place their hand over your mouth and you panic. But what if, bit by bit, day by day, some invisible hand was sapping the oxygen from your air. You're tired, you feel off, but it happens so slowly that you don't notice, until one day in an epiphany you cry out at how difficult it had become to just breathe.

This is all metaphor by the way. I promise I harbor no perverse asphyxiation fetish. But it is the best way to describe how I feel.

How did I get to this place? How did I wake up in my mid 30s dumbfounded by how much of a lack of intimacy and compassion are in my life?

it's different than loneliness. I am surrounded by people, and yet I still long for that one singular connection that leaves you feeling completely connected to another person. I am not sure if I had that and lost it, or if I was just kidding myself the entire time.

The only thing I really know is that I go through the routine of each day, increasingly aware of how utterly devoid I am of that one special intimate friendship I so desperately seek. And the more elusive it becomes, the more I feel like my mind is devoid of the emotional and psychological oxygen that flows from having that kind of connection to somebody.

Obviously this is a long and only half coherent rambling. I am not sure if it is a personal ad, a catharsis, or just the illogical output of a bad nights sleep.

But whatever it is, I am "here." And if you are "here" too, write to me.

(obligatory basics: 35, male, skinny, blond, professional, educated, clean cut).

women only please
Extremely well written!

Damnit how do I compete with that!
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Old 07-25-2017, 01:47 PM   #5
Yerkiddin
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Extremely well written!

Damnit how do I compete with that!
By finding your own voice.
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Old 07-25-2017, 09:30 PM   #6
beingtrue2me
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Ya gotta do something to make yourself remember that you're alive. Life will stuff us in a tiny box if we let it. It happens slowly and next thing ya know you are a zombie. Do something that makes your blood flow and stimulates you every single day. Several times a day some days. Others will see that and it attracts them.

Last edited by beingtrue2me : 07-27-2017 at 06:16 PM.
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Old 07-25-2017, 11:08 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by adrift82 View Post
Passing through a store the other day, I heard two people discussing the old thought that if you stick a frog in boiling water it will jump out, but if you stick a frog in lukewarm water and turn the heat on, it will just sit there, oblivious to the rising temperature.

Driving home that got me thinking if the same was true for the air we breathe. Have somebody place their hand over your mouth and you panic. But what if, bit by bit, day by day, some invisible hand was sapping the oxygen from your air. You're tired, you feel off, but it happens so slowly that you don't notice, until one day in an epiphany you cry out at how difficult it had become to just breathe.

This is all metaphor by the way. I promise I harbor no perverse asphyxiation fetish. But it is the best way to describe how I feel.

How did I get to this place? How did I wake up in my mid 30s dumbfounded by how much of a lack of intimacy and compassion are in my life?

it's different than loneliness. I am surrounded by people, and yet I still long for that one singular connection that leaves you feeling completely connected to another person. I am not sure if I had that and lost it, or if I was just kidding myself the entire time.

The only thing I really know is that I go through the routine of each day, increasingly aware of how utterly devoid I am of that one special intimate friendship I so desperately seek. And the more elusive it becomes, the more I feel like my mind is devoid of the emotional and psychological oxygen that flows from having that kind of connection to somebody.

Obviously this is a long and only half coherent rambling. I am not sure if it is a personal ad, a catharsis, or just the illogical output of a bad nights sleep.

But whatever it is, I am "here." And if you are "here" too, write to me.

(obligatory basics: 35, male, skinny, blond, professional, educated, clean cut).

women only please
OMG. You're post just stopped me cold. You have so eloquently captured my mid to late 30's as well. One day I was blindsided by a wonderful wake up call and it jumpstarted me to start truly living again. I wish you nothing but the same luck. The fact that you are acknowledging where you are right now is light years ahead of where I was at the same time. All the best in your search!
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Old 07-27-2017, 02:48 PM   #8
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So much of that you could have been taken straight out of my mind, too. I feel you!

Too often I find myself wondering if 'that one singular connection' is actually something that can ever really exist.

Here's hoping it does!!
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Old 07-27-2017, 03:57 PM   #9
adrift82
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Thanks everyone for the kind words.
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Old 08-08-2017, 07:07 PM   #10
adrift82
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Do you have to swallow your pride to bump your own post?
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Old 08-08-2017, 09:14 PM   #11
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Do you have to swallow your pride to bump your own post?
I'm glad you did because I missed it the first time around.

Self discovery is a vital journey that we all must take. Based on your post, it appears you have packed your bags and you're ready to set out!

I'm a strong believer in the therapeutic benefits of music therapy. Your post immediately reminded me of the song "Oxygen" by The Mend. Regardless of what type of music you ordinarily listen to...Music Therapy isn't always about the music per se.....it may just be the lyrics. You can find the song on YouTube, it may resonate with you. Good luck on your journey
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Old 09-22-2017, 02:45 PM   #12
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Greetings everyone. I just thought I would resurrect my old post in the vain hope that the perfect conversation out partner is out there lurking this Friday afternoon.

If you are interested in chatting, please drop me a line.
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Old 09-23-2017, 07:27 AM   #13
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.....

Last edited by kisschampagne : 09-27-2017 at 04:19 PM.
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Old 09-23-2017, 03:32 PM   #14
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Being Alive

Quote:
Originally Posted by beingtrue2me View Post
Ya gotta do something to make yourself remember that you're alive. Life will stuff us in a tiny box if we let it. It happens slowly and next thing ya know you are a zombie. Do something that makes your blood flow and stimulates you every single day. Several times a day some days. Others will see that and it attracts them.
There are lots of things that work to keep my life vital and active. One of them is Literotica: the stories, threads I follow, and some fun p.m. contacts. And several Tumblr blogs. They do keep my blood moving and those little endorphin's happy! Oh, I play golf too.
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Old 10-23-2017, 05:07 PM   #15
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Just hopping online after a multi week hiatus. Thought I would bump my old thread and see if anyone is around. Hope Monday is treating everyone well.
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Old 11-22-2017, 12:43 PM   #16
adrift82
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Anyone happen to be around today? I could see how the day before Thanksgiving could be a bit quiet...
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Old 11-22-2017, 02:25 PM   #17
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This made me sad. For, I love my wife but I can't seem to let some of the feelings and thoughts deep in side me out to her. Iv tried, in moments when I have enough of a buzz to not feel the shame of letting her know all of me. I never get there though. I'm always afraid of crossing a line I can't come back from. So I lurk here, reading stories and other people's fantasies to satisfy the craving of being known and understood. You sir, put words in my mouth I couldn't articulate. So, I should say I'm happy, for I understand a little of why iv been coming here for years but its tempered by the fact that I don't think I could ever discuss with my best friend, my love, the things that turn me on sexualy.
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Old 11-22-2017, 04:10 PM   #18
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Originally Posted by Yerkiddin View Post
By finding your own voice.
and maybe your situation is not quite as bad as his. It certainly is bound ro be different!
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Old 11-22-2017, 05:42 PM   #19
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Worst Thing?

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Originally Posted by Befletch View Post
This made me sad. For, I love my wife but I can't seem to let some of the feelings and thoughts deep in side me out to her. Iv tried, in moments when I have enough of a buzz to not feel the shame of letting her know all of me. I never get there though. I'm always afraid of crossing a line I can't come back from. So I lurk here, reading stories and other people's fantasies to satisfy the craving of being known and understood. You sir, put words in my mouth I couldn't articulate. So, I should say I'm happy, for I understand a little of why iv been coming here for years but its tempered by the fact that I don't think I could ever discuss with my best friend, my love, the things that turn me on sexualy.

What do you think would be the worst thing to happen to you (and the marriage) if you were to voice your inner thoughts to your wife?
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Old 11-22-2017, 05:47 PM   #20
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thank goodness you don't have that fetish. don't a lot of people kill themselves trying to do that?
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Old 11-22-2017, 06:24 PM   #21
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Strange

I was trying to articulate those exact sentiments only today. Perhaps all humans feel this at some point in their lives. I'm certainly not in my 30s. Perhaps I am a late starter. I long for that connection. I thought I had found it once, but I was mistaken.
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Old 12-01-2017, 06:11 PM   #22
adrift82
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Any like minded people online today?
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Old 12-02-2017, 11:27 AM   #23
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You’ve exceeded your PM storage.... 😉
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Old 12-07-2017, 06:49 PM   #24
adrift82
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Doh!

I guess I keep things as cluttered here as I do everywhere else.
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Old 02-28-2018, 12:58 PM   #25
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Just resurrecting my old post and seeing if anyone is around. Hope everyone is having a great Wednesday.
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