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Old 11-27-2017, 10:51 AM   #1
SaraDarkened
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Events: Have you been to one?

So, the kink/fetish/BDSM community (obvs, depending on where you are) often holds events. I just went to my first one at a club. It was...I mean...WOW! Have you ever been to a kink event?
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Old 11-27-2017, 11:50 AM   #2
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When I lived Norfolk as well as a few other places, there were events within an easy commute several times a year. I've attended several over the years. The seminars and demonstrations can be very informative. If you are a Kinesthetic learner though, it will -in my experience- behoove you to cultivate relationships -normal, freindly relationships- with the organizers and presenters.

Last edited by LiamHDunn : 11-27-2017 at 12:20 PM. Reason: Cause I Can't Spell. Or at least can't type...
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Old 11-27-2017, 02:46 PM   #3
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I went to a couple of events. On the first one, no one was vetted and I saw people on their phones near the mini dungeon set up. It didnít seem like anyone was taking pictures but that super turned me off.

The second one, I went to a geeky kink convention which privacy and safety were handled much better. I did think it was really funny and noob of me to not be able to locate the bathroom as gender fluid signs were posted over the menís and womenís sign. The panels were really informational and fun. I got to watch a guy get violet wanded in one of them. *giggles* It was great. Overall there was a lot to learn and people with really interesting experiences.
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Old 11-27-2017, 04:36 PM   #4
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I am not aware of any of these types of events. I would love to attend one.
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Old 11-27-2017, 05:34 PM   #5
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Not my thing, never had the desire to, and now it will never happen since I found out my SIL and bro are very active in the local kink clubs. Nope.
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Old 11-27-2017, 05:37 PM   #6
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Yes. Several. They're okay I guess. I'm not into public displays so it wasn't my thing really. I did like the shopping areas - rope, collars, cuffs, toys etc. Those were fun.
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Old 11-27-2017, 07:40 PM   #7
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I attend events near me fairly regularly. I am lucky to live in a city that has a vibrant kink scene with lots of munches, parties, and events dedicated to education.

Yes, sometimes they are WOW, but after a while they mostly just become another Tuesday night.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:07 PM   #8
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Quote:
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I attend events near me fairly regularly. I am lucky to live in a city that has a vibrant kink scene with lots of munches, parties, and events dedicated to education.

Yes, sometimes they are WOW, but after a while they mostly just become another Tuesday night.
Like bowling was in the 70s?
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:12 PM   #9
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there are monthly ones in my area. I would love to get the wife to one, ain't gonna happen though.

I know of a couple of Lit ladies that participate,
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:39 PM   #10
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Like bowling was in the 70s?
Yes, basically it's League Night. And everyone wants you on their team if you can consistently pick up a 7-10 split.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:41 PM   #11
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Yes, basically it's League Night. And everyone wants you on their team if you can consistently pick up a 7-10 split.
I throw gutters.
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Old 11-27-2017, 09:43 PM   #12
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I throw gutters.
Ironically enough that will also make you popular at said events.
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Old 11-27-2017, 10:09 PM   #13
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Ironically enough that will also make you popular at said events.
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Old 11-27-2017, 10:24 PM   #14
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Not my thing, never had the desire to
I'm glad to hear I'm not the only one who feels this way. No criticism of those who do enjoy public play, and I don't want to derail Sara's thread! But I'm shy about some things, and public BDSM would be one of those.
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Old 11-27-2017, 11:02 PM   #15
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There was a time I was curious about events. That was also when I was just learning about them. At first, it seemed good. Meet people, learn some things, enjoy some company with people holding similar interests. I ended up never going. My local place sounds lovely and Iíve watched some community threads that didnít seem to indicate anything bad about it. But then I started thinking more about my privacy and how much Iím not really a people person.

Over time Iíve come to realize it isnít for me. The prospect of running into someone I know or meeting people that really arenít my cup of tea became more apparent as I learned about other communities and their individual issues. That coupled with my lack of interest in the visual aspects just turned me off to it. I really enjoy erotic stories, but not so much pictures or video pornography. Then I realized I just donít want to see that stuff in front of me.

Sometimess the conventions sound fun. I used to go to Anime and Comic conventions and I always really liked being a faceless person in a crowd of people I knew also had similar interests.
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Old 11-27-2017, 11:54 PM   #16
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I've been involved in our local kink community for almost 10 years and have met some of my closest friends here. I remember being so nervous the first year - at parties, I'd be dressed in a giant t-neck sweater and leggings like it was a suit of armor!! Eventually I realized I could go and watch, just hang out, socialize. There was no pressure to play, other than the pressure I put on myself. I have played in public but prefer not to.

Munches are just nice ways to get out and catch up. All vanilla. After being out of the loop for the past 3 years, I finally made it back to a munch last week and it was really good to see familiar faces.

There are non-kink events posted all the time - sometimes folks will head to a new restaurant, a film festival, a play. The time/place will be posted - whoever shows up, shows up! I remember going out to eat - I went by myself - and there was only one other person there. A *little* awkward. Overall though, it's been a nice way to meet people I would've never had the opportunity to get to know.

There is a bondage club here. It's a little theatrical. I've only been a couple times because they don't open until 11 pm and I'm usually in bed by then.
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Old 11-28-2017, 08:06 AM   #17
Miles Long
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I should probably add that I rarely play in public, and even less so for sexual play. One thing I like about the events here is that it isn't expected that everyone in attendance play, not even at the orgies, play parties, or the kink club. People are allowed to participate or engage, or just observe, at their comfort level, and that is respected.

Similar to cookie I've made some close friends through the scene and now do lots of vanilla things with them as well.

Meeks - a few years ago I went to a convention called Kinky Kollege and it was a lot of fun. They had some good seminars and classes, a tapas-style demonstration of various kink activities, and some booths to shop for kink toys and clothes. It was a fun weekend.
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Old 11-28-2017, 04:31 PM   #18
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I should probably add that I rarely play in public, and even less so for sexual play. One thing I like about the events here is that it isn't expected that everyone in attendance play, not even at the orgies, play parties, or the kink club. People are allowed to participate or engage, or just observe, at their comfort level, and that is respected.

Similar to cookie I've made some close friends through the scene and now do lots of vanilla things with them as well.

Meeks - a few years ago I went to a convention called Kinky Kollege and it was a lot of fun. They had some good seminars and classes, a tapas-style demonstration of various kink activities, and some booths to shop for kink toys and clothes. It was a fun weekend.
Check out the Winter wickedness convention in Columbus ohio, for two days a hotel is taken over for all things kink.
Classes,shopping, all kinds of fun, I think this year its at January 6th 2018.
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Old 11-28-2017, 06:59 PM   #19
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Tinglebliss and I reguarly attend kink events in the UK. We're fortunate to have a wide choice of options in and around London. For play events, our preference is for quieter, more intimate and less formal venues. Tinglebliss and I don't mind playing in public, and we've dscovered that we particularly enjoy the thrill of sharing a play space with people whom we find familiar and supportive. Although we stay largely "in our bubble" during play, some aspects of the external environment do bleed through to us, and having others either playing happily nearby or forming an appreciative audience actively inspires us both.

The other aspect of attending events is to watch others. It can be a great opportunity to learn more about types of play, understand better the nature of the connection between the partners and identify one's own preferences. There are several modes of play that we didn't expect to enjoy based on an abstract description of them, but which appealed to us straight away when we saw them in practice. It's generally fine to watch play, as long as one follows a few basic rules: for example, don't interrupt the scene (including aftercare), stay out of the play space (this includes not getting aggressively into the eyeline of the players), and be respectful of the players (imagine that you've been invited to observe quietly as their well-behaved guests). Fortunately, those points are obvious to most (although sadly not all).
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Old 11-28-2017, 10:11 PM   #20
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Not my thing, never had the desire to, and now it will never happen since I found out my SIL and bro are very active in the local kink clubs. Nope.
Same, except 'SIL and bro' with 'rather mentally unstable person I went to school with'.

I just really don't like being around lots of people, either.
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Old 11-29-2017, 05:07 PM   #21
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Mindfondler and I went out to dinner and joined some lovely people at a London Munch last night. We meet some newbies and chatted for hours. The event was held at the regular venue for London Alternative Market which was good for people that hadn't been before.
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Old 11-30-2017, 01:41 PM   #22
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Mindfondler and I went out to dinner and joined some lovely people at a London Munch last night. We meet some newbies and chatted for hours. The event was held at the regular venue for London Alternative Market which was good for people that hadn't been before.
I'm just here to give you a hug! It's been a long time since you've posted!
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Old 11-30-2017, 04:05 PM   #23
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I'm just here to give you a hug! It's been a long time since you've posted!
I've needed to have time out and I was finding not a lot to reply to. Now I'm back! Hugs
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