Let's Talk About 'Gentle' FemDom

Wild_Honey_66 said:

I'm googling femdom movies right now, but I'm a little nervous about what the results are going to be.

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I did that earlier as well but only found femdom movie reviews. Nothing that i recognized as main stream. I got the feeling you were lookong for the not so explicit femdom in movies.

oh, and Han and Leia from Star Wars of course Classic.

StupidDoes said:

I did that earlier as well but only found femdom movie reviews. Nothing that i recognized as main stream. I got the feeling you were lookong for the not so explicit femdom in movies.

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If by explicit you mean extreme, then yes.

I'm cool with the other kind of explicit too, I like cock.

StupidDoes said:

oh, and Han and Leia from Star Wars of course Classic.

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Of course! lol

Wild_Honey_66 said:

If by explicit you mean extreme, then yes.

I'm cool with the other kind of explicit too, I like cock.

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I meant more as in the movie plot was centered or called out as femdom. Rather than just a subtle dynamic between the characters.

catwoman and batman...she even ties him up a bunch of times!

Wild_Honey_66 said:

If by explicit you mean extreme, then yes.

I'm cool with the other kind of explicit too, I like cock.

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Glad to hear you like cock! As a potential gentle fem domme it would be a shame if you didn't!

I have seen few films of late, and have not really thought that any involve that dynamic. Even watching Star Wars Episode V last night there was more hunky Han than domme Leia.

So where might it be visually represented if not in the movies? A TV series perhaps? Again being a luddite when it comes to such stuff I am not able to properly come up with something but maybe the good people of this thread can? Or the written word - Hermione Granger in the last book of Potter seems to run rings round the man.... Arwen in Lord of the Rings??

It is difficult to find the right video clips online, and even stories in Literorica tend towards the more traditional dominatrix. One or two of my own feature women taking the control and delivering satisfaction for the man in a shared pleasure way. Poor attempts maybe, but expressing some of my own inner fantasies around how I would give up some control to the right woman.

A hard concept to find good examples of, sadly, but the thread remains one I return to in hope!

StupidDoes said:

I did that earlier as well but only found femdom movie reviews. Nothing that i recognized as main stream. I got the feeling you were lookong for the not so explicit femdom in movies.

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I think in the case of "gentle femdom" and movies, you are better served to not use the word "femdom" in your Google search at all. It will return movies where the domme is hardly gentle. I've had this argument over on Fetlife repeatedly.

To review some of the movies that some over on fetlife refer to as femdom, there's "Audition" a Japanese movie of a psychopathic girl torturing and dismembering an older man she's become obsessed with. Why is it considered femdom? Because the girl is incredibly hot and looks good in latex.

Likewise with the horror movie "The Deaths of Ian Stone", where Jamie Murray admittedly is oh so sexy in that red latex catsuit as she tortures the main male character. Femdom? Only to the extent that she's smoking hot, as is her outfit.

I don't imagine I have to explain "I Spit on Your Grave" being on that list. And it's sequels. They fall into the category of rape-revenge rather than femdom, in my opinion. But since the woman takes charge and abuses the men, for some it fits into the category femdom.

Anyone see Polanski's "Bitter Moon"? It's less physical abuse and more emotional abuse. But not what you would call gentle femdom. And no, I haven't seen Polanski's "Venus in Furs" for personal reasons I won't go into.

"Payback" for Lucy Liu as the domme. But she's too much the cliché domme, not the gentle kind.

"Exit to Eden" probably falls the closest into gentle femdom. If only it were a better movie.

"Preaching to the Perverted" might be my recommendation. Guinevere Turner's character might still be a little too cliché as the rubber-clad domme, but I love the humor in the movie. hehehe

The bottom line is that a surprising number of horror movies are mentioned on fetlife, simply because the psychopath is a beautiful and curvy woman dressed in either latex or leather. And those mentioned that don't fall into the category of horror movies, fall into the category of the cliché domme dressed in leather or latex, with her own dungeon full of toys (i.e. Tomcats, EuroTrip, etc.).

I think it was one of Transformers movies that had a scene toward the end in which Stanley Tucci had a great little FemDom vibe going with a beautiful Asian woman.

eta: it's the motorcycle/elevator scene if you want to look it up, and he's hilarious.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

I think it was one of Transformers movies that had a scene toward the end in which Stanley Tucci had a great little FemDom vibe going with a beautiful Asian woman.

eta: it's the motorcycle/elevator scene if you want to look it up, and he's hilarious.

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XioF_iXswhI

Li Bingbing is great in that scene.

dale124 said:

The bottom line is that a surprising number of horror movies are mentioned on fetlife, simply because the psychopath is a beautiful and curvy woman dressed in either latex or leather. And those mentioned that don't fall into the category of horror movies, fall into the category of the cliché domme dressed in leather or latex, with her own dungeon full of toys (i.e. Tomcats, EuroTrip, etc.).

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I think this captures the difficulty of finding anything in this area, almost the difficulty of the world definition! To dominate a man it seems we need the woman to dress in fetish clothing. Don't get me wrong, those outfits are great and get me aroused but it's not needed for gentle fem dom. I have a meet planned soon, I expect to lower my guard and submit to a little gentle control that pleases us both. I am sure we will have dinner first and she will be dressed sexily but not in fetish clothing. She expects me to indulge my, and now her, interest in femme clothing on me.... beyond the already agreed boundaries I will await my fate ..! And that, I am hoping, will be gentle and thoughtful control of me and our pleasure.

**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination? Really it is the different between force and sensual. No real desire or interest in beatings. However I enjoy the idea of absolutely no control and having to do as asked

**Why is it appealing?
I think in a backwards way it is the attention. And while everything is about pleasing you there is an aspect that has attention given to me

**What does a 'gentle' Domme look like to you? How does she behave? Caring controlling teasing in all things

**What do you look for in a GFD relationship? What do you hope to get out of it? To know that the other person is pleased and amused.

**How do you see it fitting into your life - bedroom only, or lifestyle? Primarily bedroom but could be lifestyle

Wild_Honey_66 said:

Welcome - shall we begin?

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I must admit, I really love this thread. Thanks Wild_Honey

I know I'm very dominant but the Femdom and Mommy Dom archetypes never quite described me. I'm not a ball crusher as I prefer to seductively persuade, and I'm not a nurturer but more a sexy lover. So, "Gentle Femdom" is a perfect combination to describe my dominant temperament. Sure I have a strong sadist streak... but I don't hurt for pain, it is for pleasure. Cooing into his ear, telling him how desired he is, how sexy, gives him the strength and determination to take his lashings harder, surpassing his mental limits. It's not about breaking them, but drawing out their courage to surrender.

And yes, rather than a leather and whips kind, I tend to have a gentle femininity, even in my fashion. I'm a lot more intelligent than I seem on the surface - first I am very bratty and playful... But those who win me over through their qualities get the Gentle Femdom.

RacyWilde said:

I must admit, I really love this thread. Thanks Wild_Honey

I know I'm very dominant but the Femdom and Mommy Dom archetypes never quite described me. I'm not a ball crusher as I prefer to seductively persuade, and I'm not a nurturer but more a sexy lover. So, "Gentle Femdom" is a perfect combination to describe my dominant temperament. Sure I have a strong sadist streak... but I don't hurt for pain, it is for pleasure. Cooing into his ear, telling him how desired he is, how sexy, gives him the strength and determination to take his lashings harder, surpassing his mental limits. It's not about breaking them, but drawing out their courage to surrender.

And yes, rather than a leather and whips kind, I tend to have a gentle femininity, even in my fashion. I'm a lot more intelligent than I seem on the surface - first I am very bratty and playful... But those who win me over through their qualities get the Gentle Femdom.

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I think this description comes closest to what draws me towards being submissive. I want to please and follow. Expierience pain an pleasure without completely being demasculated or as some submissives claim they want, dehumanised...

Love,

RacyWilde said:

I tend to have a gentle femininity, even in my fashion. I'm a lot more intelligent than I seem on the surface - first I am very bratty and playful... But those who win me over through their qualities get the Gentle Femdom.

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This is how it's always been as a submissive for me, and I'm not interested in anything else. Everything respectful and fun on the surface and then when you start connecting that's when the dynamic starts to build up. Mood is entirely driven by connection for me and though I have a strong propensity to submit it just doesn't manifest without that interplay of intimacy. Things can sometimes get physically "rough" rather than "gentle" but it's always emotionally gentle and the connection is always gentle.

I'm in my early 30s but I love femdom. For me it goes more towards less extreme aspects like high heels stepping on balls, chastity cages, whipping, etc. My femdom fantasies are more being convinced, coerced, whatever into submission. In the bedroom of course but it could leak into everyday life. I'd love to be taken out in public with a woman who is clearly in charge but not a bitch about it and going panty or toy shopping and making it clear whatever is for me. So maybe a little light humiliation thrown in there too.

summerose said:

This is how it's always been as a submissive for me, and I'm not interested in anything else. Everything respectful and fun on the surface and then when you start connecting that's when the dynamic starts to build up. Mood is entirely driven by connection for me and though I have a strong propensity to submit it just doesn't manifest without that interplay of intimacy. Things can sometimes get physically "rough" rather than "gentle" but it's always emotionally gentle and the connection is always gentle.

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I think you perfectly expressed the essence of "Gentle Fem-Dom" in that last sentence..."emotionally gentle", simply beautiful.

I know that no one shoe fits us all, but for me; I think all Domination needs to be emotionally gentle so it can be boisterously rowdy.

yukonnights said:

simply beautiful.

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Awh, thank you, I'm glad it resonated I agree with you entirely that all domination should be like that - I thought that as I was writing & nearly didn't submit it... But then I thought actually a lot of BDSM really doesn't seem to be that way!

dale124 said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XioF_iXswhI

Li Bingbing is great in that scene.

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Shit movie if not for Stanley Tucci, he and Li Bingbing stole the movie!

How do D-types talk about needing downtime, or feeling weary, weak, and vulnerable? And what does that look like for them?

Subs have a whole language that we use to describe those moods and ask for our needs to be met:

I'm feeling little.
Can I curl in your lap?
I'm a turtle today.
Please pet me.

What does a Dom/me sound like when they are feeling small and insignicant, or do they tend to experience that less than subs do?

Wild_Honey_66 said:

How do D-types talk about needing downtime, or feeling weary, weak, and vulnerable? And what does that look like for them?

Subs have a whole language that we use to describe those moods and ask for our needs to be met:

I'm feeling little.
Can I curl in your lap?
I'm a turtle today.
Please pet me.

What does a Dom/me sound like when they are feeling small and insignicant, or do they tend to experience that less than subs do?

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I don't know how I "sound like", but...

As I venture more into the role of Gentle Femdom I'm realising that it's not a journey of power but of vulnerability. I'm not a person who asks for things. In my vanilla life I do everything for myself and never ask anyone to do anything for me... not even a secretary to get me a cup of coffee. I do everything for myself via my own power. But being a Gentle Femdom, not only do I have to ask for what I want (or gently coerce), I am actually asking for things for the benefit of my sub. It makes me realise how much in return I want to please my sub, how much I am in the service of him. In that, I an vulnerable... I use my vulnerability to dominate. So, I am constantly feeling small and insignificant. But the willingness to obey and adoration from my sub when I am vulnerable is the thing that builds me up, gives me confidence. And as such we have a synergistic relationship.

After a session I always feel very vulnerable, fragile even. I don't allow my sub to know... I want to be strong for him. But, I'm lucky... I have a Dom confidant who I seek solace from. He gives me the after care I need even though I'm not his sub. I tend to need him a lot these days, and he is always there for me. Thanks to him I don't stay low for too long. Because of him I am brave and adventurous.

This is a phenomenal thread (and thank you for starting it!) I hope you remember me from our PM interactions where you pointed me towards some incredible picture threads that I'm till date an ardent fan of.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

**How do you see 'Gentle' FemDom being different from the more traditional type of feminine domination?

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It seems like it is something one can ease into as opposed to being broken into. The latter, in my opinion is a bit more nuanced while the former is all about pleasing the Gentle Domme.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

**Why is it appealing?

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I personally find it appealing because I think I deserve to be in a place where I can provide pleasure. I can't think of anything that makes me happier.

Wild_Honey_66 said:

**What does a 'gentle' Domme look like to you? How does she behave?

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She is selfish, wants me to worship her and is usually confident, aware and isn't hesitant under any circumstance to ask for what she wants.

bi11ionaire said:

She is selfish, wants me to worship her and is usually confident, aware and isn't hesitant under any circumstance to ask for what she wants.

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I think this sounds hot, and I'd like more of it in my life, but I don't think it's the definition of GFD.

RacyWilde said:

I don't know how I "sound like", but...

As I venture more into the role of Gentle Femdom I'm realising that it's not a journey of power but of vulnerability. I'm not a person who asks for things. In my vanilla life I do everything for myself and never ask anyone to do anything for me... not even a secretary to get me a cup of coffee. I do everything for myself via my own power. But being a Gentle Femdom, not only do I have to ask for what I want (or gently coerce), I am actually asking for things for the benefit of my sub. It makes me realise how much in return I want to please my sub, how much I am in the service of him. In that, I an vulnerable... I use my vulnerability to dominate. So, I am constantly feeling small and insignificant. But the willingness to obey and adoration from my sub when I am vulnerable is the thing that builds me up, gives me confidence. And as such we have a synergistic relationship.

After a session I always feel very vulnerable, fragile even. I don't allow my sub to know... I want to be strong for him. But, I'm lucky... I have a Dom confidant who I seek solace from. He gives me the after care I need even though I'm not his sub. I tend to need him a lot these days, and he is always there for me. Thanks to him I don't stay low for too long. Because of him I am brave and adventurous.

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This is simply beautiful.

Dana Delany- Exit to Eden....