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stickygirl said:
“I as a trans person did not transition in order to choose a new gender role. Being placed into a role is something that culture forcibly does to people; nobody can choose to live in a gender role. Should society deem that one is a male, that person will be placed into a male role by culture; should society deem that one is female, that person will be placed into a female role by culture. A gender role isn’t chosen, it’s inflicted and much of trans discourse is situated around ways of challenging and undermining those roles.
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At the same time, trans people get criticized for 'reaffirming the binary'. I thought the recent comic from Assigned Male was a good comment on this particular issue.
 
haurni said:
At the same time, trans people get criticized for 'reaffirming the binary'. I thought the recent comic from Assigned Male was a good comment on this particular issue.
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Exactly - how someone wishes to dress or identify themselves is an entirely personal matter. Yet again, it is outside commentators, TERFS and often the press, who scrabble around looking for ways to attack us.
 
UK petition

The petition asking the government to allow trans people to define their own legal gender has almost reached 30,000 signatures! There are still several months left for it to reach it’s 100,000 target and if it makes it there will be a debate in parliament so please sign if you haven’t and share this as far as possible! https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/104639
 
hi

stickygirl said:
The petition asking the government to allow trans people to define their own legal gender has almost reached 30,000 signatures! There are still several months left for it to reach it’s 100,000 target and if it makes it there will be a debate in parliament so please sign if you haven’t and share this as far as possible! https://petition.parliament.uk/petitions/104639
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I sympathise.it deserves 10 million signetures.
 
Thanks pmpmmpipm? :)

This popped up on my Tumblr and I thought it deserved some space here. I can find nothing here that I disagree with

“Trans” is a casual shortening of “transgender”, and in both case is most often used, when used correctly, as an adjective modifying a following noun, such as “man”, “woman”, “person”, etc.

A “trans woman” is therefore a type of woman, i.e. one who is transgender.

The second part of your question is more complicated, because what does “completing” transition mean? The answer to which, inasmuch as the question makes any sense, is entirely subjective and ultimately a self-definition.

I often refer to my transition as the act of changing my appearance from male to female. But at what point did that start? When I wore makeup? When I took hormones? At what point does it end? Who decides? Not even doctors, lawyers or trans people themselves have a consensus on this.

And wasn’t I always trans anyways? It’s not like the act of transition made me trans. It was an action I undertook because I was trans. As far as I’m concerned, I’ll also always be trans. Nothing will ever change that I was seen as male for the first part of my life, and am now seen as a woman, and that defines my trans-ness to me.

And yes, I’m often seen as “just a woman”, and sometimes even forget that I’m trans (it’s a fleeting but magical feeling). But being trans doesn’t diminish my womanhood, any more than being a white woman does, or a redheaded woman, etc.

That being said, there are some women who share similar facts to my story, i.e. they were seen as male but are now women, who would not describe themselves as trans. They would say they are simply women, perhaps with a past medical condition that was corrected and is no longer of anyone’s concern.

I totally respect that choice, but my friends and I, many of who are central to the current phase of the trans movement, choose to embrace the trans part of our womanhood, partly for our own health and well-being, and partly to address the stigmatization that leads a variety of oppressions and violence.

To answer your question more directly: yes, no, maybe, sometimes, and it depends. ;)
 
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Was there ever a time where you were worried someone was going to say or do something soul crushing towards you but instead said/did something that warmed your heart?
 
What trans woman hasn't stepped out of her house with a knotted feeling of dread, wondering what will go wrong today? Quite apart from dealing with officialdom, there's the four year old with a loud voice saying 'Mummy, is that a man or a lady?'. Trans tolerance of four year olds is amazing and so far as I know 100%. No trans woman has ever strangled an inquistive four year old, but how many times have we wanted to? ;)

To get to your question, yes - there have actually been many occasions. I think the first was at school, when my headmaster asked to see me. I didn't officially transition till I'd left school, but we needed to let the school know I would be taking hormones in my last year - in loco parentis and all that. It was a religious school and we'd always thought he was pretty old fashioned, so I was very, very stressed about seeing him. Anyways, long story shortish - he couldn't have been nicer: promised that I had the full backing of the staff and that if I sufffered any bullying to let him know. He even gave me a cup of tea ( that was too hot to drink and I was terrified of spilling ). I was a bit annoyed that all the staff apparently knew *shrug* Maybe it was too good a story for them to be discreet but probably they needed to know.
 
4yourpleasureiam said:
That is a little one sided, don't you think? What about us who want to grow a vagina ?
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I know, but an interesting set of points: the boy who hated being in dresses for school; the irony that female is the default and that men are the aberration, but of course it won't appease the nay-sayings "what sex were you born as" because they can excuse this situation. They'll just say 'well modern medicine has found the cause' - pseudo-hemaphroditism but there's NOTHING wrong with YOUR genes so you're faking it. :rolleyes:
 
Why do you think many men (and women) have the fantasy of shagging with a dickgirl or a full transgender?

What do you think about the ample demand of tv's, dickgirls or transgenders in the world of prostitution (I don't imply that any participation in those activities is wrong, but I've read some trans back here that disaproove it considering it feeds a negative stereotype)?

And maybe you can answer a question I was asked a long time ago by a friend: how does it feel to carry a dick between the legs (I mean, you had it there, now that part as such is not there... what feels different with its presence/abscence)?

Greetings
 
RndllFlgg22 said:
Why do you think many men (and women) have the fantasy of shagging with a dickgirl or a full transgender?
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Thanks for the questions
tbh you'd have to ask them. The fantasy that a person has both sets of sex organs, which are fully functional has been around for centuries: modern medical techniques ( breast implants etc ) mean that the fantasy can be realised. The thing is that, for the most part, trans women don't want to be a sex accessory and their sex drive is no different to any other cis-gender person.


RndllFlgg22 said:
What do you think about the ample demand of tv's, dickgirls or transgenders in the world of prostitution (I don't imply that any participation in those activities is wrong, but I've read some trans back here that disaproove it considering it feeds a negative stereotype)?
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Ample demand? and supply. There's two unequal sides to this: there's the porn 'star' who looks fab, pouts at the camera, is young, may or may not have a huge dick ( you can make your choice )… then there's a far bigger number of trans women who can't get jobs or housing and whose only means of supporting themselves is by turning to prostitution. Janet Mock had to go that route but happily managed to break out of it.
Is it wrong? pfft… I wouldn't want it and I wish other people didn't choose it, but I totally understand when people's circumstances remove their choices. Its a funny thing isn't it that women have been involved in prostitution for ever, but it doesn't mean that all women are regarded as prostitutes by association.

RndllFlgg22 said:
And maybe you can answer a question I was asked a long time ago by a friend: how does it feel to carry a dick between the legs (I mean, you had it there, now that part as such is not there... what feels different with its presence/abscence)?
Click to expand...
I imagine it felt the same as any other male set of genitals - though perhaps smaller! Emotionally it felt like a ugly wart would feel like on your face: you see it every morning; other people notice and have a variety of reactions to it ( sympathy, curiosity, disgust ); peope judge you by it and have opinions about it; kids ask awkward questions… you get the picture. So once you've put up with all that shit for years, having it sorted out is just a huge relief - it takes a while to get used to it actually and you wonder sometimes if just a dream, but then I can look at myself and realise that I am the way I'm supposed to be now
 
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I just had this thought that perhaps at least some of the discrimination and violence directed at the MtF population could be triggered by castration fears held by many men. I recall a lot of gossip and worry about whether Caitlin Jenner had undergone genital surgery.

Along that same line, I wonder if there is a significant difference in discrimination incurred within MtF and FtM populations?
 
coati said:
I just had this thought that perhaps at least some of the discrimination and violence directed at the MtF population could be triggered by castration fears held by many men. I recall a lot of gossip and worry about whether Caitlin Jenner had undergone genital surgery.
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I'm sure Freud would be all over that, but I think it's something simpler.
Men get themselves so uptight about chatting to girls in the first place. Then if they succeed, their girlfriend becomes a kind of accessory to their masculinity - an affirmation that they have what it takes to stand shoulder to shoulder with their fellow hombre. Being part of that frathouse culture means they are necessarily homophobic. Men are embarrassed of their bodies and will generally hide their weeners in the changing room because
a. it might look small to other men
b. to wave your weener around suggests you're homo
So, the posibility that their new gf might also have a weener will hit all their insecurity buttons at once. That leads immediately to resentment/anger and that old lie of a 'shock response' that gets trans women killed.
If I've left out anything, please let me know folks.

Caitlyn Jenner? Pure media salaciousness. Giggling first grade mentality

coati said:
Along that same line, I wonder if there is a significant difference in discrimination incurred within MtF and FtM populations?
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Hmm, I'm on less certain ground here because I only know two FtMs and they frighten me a bit! In very general anecdotal terms, I'd say that cis-men can understand why a woman would want to be a man ( because men are obviously best ) so men having an empathy with trans men. Men won't kill them for being who they are, but will just assume they're another lesbian who hasn't found the right guy yet.
 
coati said:
I just had this thought that perhaps at least some of the discrimination and violence directed at the MtF population could be triggered by castration fears held by many men.
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I don't think negative attitudes are that complex, anyone who is 'different' in any way can experience discrimination and/or violence, I could give you several example from my own (fairly ordinary) life. Plus I've never known any guy with a specific fear of castration.

Following on from Sticky's post, men are prone to be uptight and insecure because most male-male interactions are dominance-based; why do men out on the town make so much noise and laugh so hard (frequently falsely)? Usually because they're taking the piss out of each other mercilessly, looking for weaknesses to exploit, seemingly 'for a laugh' but in reality it's about dominance and pecking order.

Pair up this insecurity with possibly low-to-moderate intelligence, throw in some alcohol and the result is what fills A&E waiting rooms on weekend nights.
 
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stickygirl said:
I know, but an interesting set of points: the boy who hated being in dresses for school; the irony that female is the default and that men are the aberration, but of course it won't appease the nay-sayings "what sex were you born as" because they can excuse this situation. They'll just say 'well modern medicine has found the cause' - pseudo-hemaphroditism but there's NOTHING wrong with YOUR genes so you're faking it. :rolleyes:
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Thank you for the reply.
 
stickygirl said:
Thanks for the questions
tbh you'd have to ask them. The fantasy that a person has both sets of sex organs, which are fully functional has been around for centuries: modern medical techniques ( breast implants etc ) mean that the fantasy can be realised. The thing is that, for the most part, trans women don't want to be a sex accessory and their sex drive is no different to any other cis-gender person.



Ample demand? and supply. There's two unequal sides to this: there's the porn 'star' who looks fab, pouts at the camera, is young, may or may not have a huge dick ( you can make your choice )… then there's a far bigger number of trans women who can't get jobs or housing and whose only means of supporting themselves is by turning to prostitution. Janet Mock had to go that route but happily managed to break out of it.
Is it wrong? pfft… I wouldn't want it and I wish other people didn't choose it, but I totally understand when people's circumstances remove their choices. Its a funny thing isn't it that women have been involved in prostitution for ever, but it doesn't mean that all women are regarded as prostitutes by association.


I imagine it felt the same as any other male set of genitals - though perhaps smaller! Emotionally it felt like a ugly wart would feel like on your face: you see it every morning; other people notice and have a variety of reactions to it ( sympathy, curiosity, disgust ); peope judge you by it and have opinions about it; kids ask awkward questions… you get the picture. So once you've put up with all that shit for years, having it sorted out is just a huge relief - it takes a while to get used to it actually and you wonder sometimes if just a dream, but then I can look at myself and realise that I am the way I'm supposed to be now
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Thanks a lot for your replies :).
Hope you have a nice week :).
 
coati said:
Along that same line, I wonder if there is a significant difference in discrimination incurred within MtF and FtM populations?
Click to expand...

My perception is that overall, MtF have a rougher time of it. Hate and violence directed at trans men does happen (see e.g. Brandon Teena) but I don't think it's as pervasive as what trans women get.

I think most people who hear the word "transgender" think first and foremost about trans women. Like Stickygirl says, it's easier for people to think of reasons why a woman might want to be a man than vice versa. And trans men who can pass do get some access to male privilege - see e.g. Ben Barres' comments about his experience before and after transition.

One area where trans men do have a lot of difficulty is with reproductive health services - "you can't have a pap smear because males aren't covered for that" type bullshit.
 
Bramblethorn,

Probably somebody has some statistics on the incidence of violence, discrimination, and associated depression within the two populations. I know it's a rough road for both groups, but perhaps even more so for MtF folks.

Stickygirl and Messier,

Thanks for your opinions on whether underlying fears and resentments about the surgical removal of male genitalia may play some part in the ugly treatment of MtF folks by some males. I agree that this violence is mostly due to homophobia and a sense of gender superiority, which perhaps would also include resentment for betraying the importance of what most males regard as the "golden wazoo".
 
I don't think castration anxiety has anything to do with it. It's a fear of failing in the 'manliness' department, specifically by appearing to be 'gay'. Toxic masculinity says that if it has a dick, it's a man, and real (i.e. straight) men don't look at or (god forbid!) touch other men's dicks. Homosexuality has always been associated with effeminacy - taking the passive role, being limp-wristed or swishy, etc. So 'trans panic' or 'gay panic' is an insecurity-based reaction to a perceived attack on one's masculinity by implying homosexuality (i.e. liking dick), and violence is a legitimate ('manly') response. For men who have trans girlfriends, the minute it's found out they have to disavow and dump them.

It's fucking pathetic.
 
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