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Old 07-09-2014, 12:47 PM   #26
Dalbhach
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Well, if I see someone stuck in a ditch by the side of the road and I have a 4x4 and a tow chain, I'm going to stop to offer help.

If the help isn't taken, that's okay, but I have to offer. It's just how I'm made.
And there is not one thing inherently wrong with that. It's just not always received the way we want.

I'll never forget, I once stopped on the interstate between Atlanta and Macon to try and help a motorist who had a flat tire. Now, I'm the whitest white man alive, and I'm a bit, ahem, intimidating looking (although in reality I'm a disgusting teddy bear with a gooey caramel center).

The tiny, elderly, black woman in the car was absolutely terrified of me. I stood there for like ten minutes trying to make her understand I was only trying to help. All I did was make things worse. I finally went back to my truck and called GHP to send a HERO unit.

I think about that poor woman a lot, and try to remember that good intentions sometimes backfire.
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Old 07-09-2014, 12:52 PM   #27
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Point taken.
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Old 07-09-2014, 01:07 PM   #28
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I dunno, I guess I have a lot of regrets. I try not to let things I can't change bother me, but damn, I did such monumentally moronic things in the past... If I'd only known is a common thought.

I envy you. I wish I could come to terms with my years as well as you have with yours.
Every single thing you've done or experienced has brought you to where you are and made you the person you are. If you like yourself and the life you have then you can't hate any of the road that brought you there.
Once you realize that then you stop regretting the past. The past was necessary. The present and the future are the things that are yours to make.
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Old 07-09-2014, 02:07 PM   #29
Dalbhach
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Every single thing you've done or experienced has brought you to where you are and made you the person you are. If you like yourself and the life you have then you can't hate any of the road that brought you there.
Once you realize that then you stop regretting the past. The past was necessary. The present and the future are the things that are yours to make.
Good advice. Hard to follow.
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Old 07-09-2014, 02:15 PM   #30
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Good advice. Hard to follow.
yeah well, those years behind me? some of them were spent learning that.
Some of them were spent in therapy paying someone to help teach me that.
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Old 07-09-2014, 02:27 PM   #31
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yeah well, those years behind me? some of them were spent learning that.
Some of them were spent in therapy paying someone to help teach me that.
Intellectually I understand, and for the most part, I don't get all caught up in the past. But, every once in a while, I find myself either ready to weep or beat the crap out of something because the memories crowd in and the what ifs start.
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Old 07-09-2014, 09:04 PM   #32
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About the only things in my life I regret are the chances at pussy that I let slip by because I was too much of a...well, a pussy. "No guts, no orgasm" as the saying goes...or something like that...
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Old 07-09-2014, 09:35 PM   #33
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well

Your last was well said. Been there done that.
Offer your friendship and your ear without judgment. If that offer is well-received, good, if it isn't, that's life.
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Old 07-10-2014, 06:27 AM   #34
NightL
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Originally Posted by Dalbhach View Post
I did such monumentally moronic things in the past...
At least you recognise that. I respect anyone who has the courage to admit that. You have grown, be proud of that. Now you have a message to tell and words of advice and wisdom to offer.

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Originally Posted by Dalbhach View Post
Good advice. Hard to follow.
Actually very simple. One day it will come to you - it will hit you in a flash and you will kick yourself for not understanding much sooner.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dalbhach View Post
Intellectually I understand, and for the most part, I don't get all caught up in the past. But, every once in a while, I find myself either ready to weep or beat the crap out of something because the memories crowd in and the what ifs start.
The benefit for others, with the message you have to tell, far outweighs your past.

You have grown and that is kick-arse.
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Old 07-10-2014, 03:41 PM   #35
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You can't fix every bird with a broken wing. You'll never be able to live your own life if you spend every minute trying to help everyone. Unfortunately, they are a dime a dozen. You walk by them several times per day. Many times their problems are of their own doing and you can't do anything to fix that anyway. If people don't learn to fix their own problems they are destined to make the same mistake over and over again, hoping for that white knight to come riding along every time to help them fix the same mistakes they keep on making.
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