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Old 07-03-2014, 07:23 PM   #1
KThere
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gauging a woman's interest in me! (im a girl)

Hi!

I am seemingly having a difficult time discerning whether or not another woman is A. bi/lesbian, and B. interested in me! Especially older women! I never know if they are just being very nice or not. Guys, easy, but, I dont seem to have any gaydar!!!
Thanks!
Katie
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Old 07-05-2014, 01:49 PM   #2
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I am seemingly having a difficult time discerning whether or not another woman is A. bi/lesbian, and B. interested in me! Especially older women! I never know if they are just being very nice or not. Guys, easy, but, I dont seem to have any gaydar!!!
Why not go to where the gals hang out? Spas, gyms, salons, and so on. Strike up a conversation and make friends. According to the statistics I've found (Google it yourself), about ten percent of women are lesbians. So if you make ten friends, there's a good chance one of them is lesbian. If you're their friend, you might just get something going with them.

If you don't want to take that risk, then go to www.lesbianromance.com or similar web site and try the direct approach.
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Old 07-06-2014, 03:34 AM   #3
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You're not alone: I don't understand women either.
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Old 07-06-2014, 05:14 AM   #4
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Guys or gals, its in the eyes for me. I never mistake friendliness for attraction. It is the way they look at me, that little spark in the eye.
If you have no problem detecting when men are interested, you shouldnt have problem with women either. Just apply the same rules. If you do make a mistake, what is the worst that can happen?
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Old 07-06-2014, 05:49 AM   #5
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I have this problem with men, I can never tell if they're interested unless they basically come out and say the words. I completely understand your confusion and frustration. Good luck!
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Old 07-06-2014, 06:45 AM   #6
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There's two things you gotta know about women: ONE, they need your AAA help, and TWO, theyre always looking to trade up to a better man. The rest is hormones.
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Old 07-06-2014, 06:55 AM   #7
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Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON View Post
There's two things you gotta know about women: ONE, they need your AAA help, and TWO, theyre always looking to trade up to a better man. The rest is hormones.
Thank you for this sage advice, completely wrong by the way.
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Old 07-06-2014, 06:57 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KThere View Post
Hi!

I am seemingly having a difficult time discerning whether or not another woman is A. bi/lesbian, and B. interested in me! Especially older women! I never know if they are just being very nice or not. Guys, easy, but, I dont seem to have any gaydar!!!
Thanks!
Katie
Take the following points from this guy into consideration to gauge out a woman's attraction towards you:

1. If both of you are engaged in a conversation, say in a bar/restaurant/anywhere sitting, both of you may tend to shift TOWARDS each other, depending on the gravity of the conversation.

2. Occasional touches on the wrist, hands, arms etc. during a conversation.

3. I can't really say if the signs of a woman being sexually attracted towards another woman is the same as her attraction towards a male.

A bit of rapid breathing, straight backs, and a bit of shine in her eyes are only some of the major tells that a woman gives when she's got sex in her mind

4. Some woman want to keep their bisexuality/lesbianism a secret to avoid public stigma. If a woman is seriously interested in you, then she'll definitely give subtle innuendos in her conversation and you have to be attentive enough to catch them.

Return her subtle hints with some of your own otherwise there's that dreaded friend's zone that we guys are absolutely terrified of

I think that I must've started to ramble, but I hope that I've been helpful.
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Old 07-06-2014, 07:01 AM   #9
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Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON View Post
There's two things you gotta know about women
I hope you know more about men than you know about women.
Or it would be really awkward.
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Old 07-06-2014, 07:06 AM   #10
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I have this problem with men, I can never tell if they're interested unless they basically come out and say the words. I completely understand your confusion and frustration. Good luck!
Oh Sweet Holy Mother of Jesus H. Christ!

Most of the guys and gals out there have the same problem. You're not alone.

So, who are these men? Are they your friends or an attractive stranger you've just met?

It doesn't really matter if the men are from either of the categories because they wouldn't mind having a brief fling. It's a bit complicated with the friends because there's always a chance of your friendship going awkward after the shenanigan.
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Old 07-06-2014, 10:48 AM   #11
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Originally Posted by Rainshine View Post
I have this problem with men, I can never tell if they're interested unless they basically come out and say the words. I completely understand your confusion and frustration. Good luck!
Judging by your profile pic there is no way that a man wouldn't be interested.
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Old 07-06-2014, 12:05 PM   #12
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Originally Posted by Joeknoxville View Post
Judging by your profile pic there is no way that a man wouldn't be interested.

Hey Joe, her eyes are up here.
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Old 07-06-2014, 05:03 PM   #13
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Em, give RS her eyes back! She needs those. . . .

The touches during conversation is a big one. I had a, um, friend who constantly played with my hair.

My friends and I are pretty touchy feeling anyway, but instead of the cheek kiss, she would also give the kiss on the lips, or the side of the mouth.
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Old 07-06-2014, 07:36 PM   #14
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I don't know how to help on the issue, others have given good advice.

I think the use of "gaydar" is ignorant and insulting.
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Old 07-08-2014, 06:46 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by KThere View Post
Hi!

I am seemingly having a difficult time discerning whether or not another woman is A. bi/lesbian, and B. interested in me! Especially older women! I never know if they are just being very nice or not. Guys, easy, but, I dont seem to have any gaydar!!!
Thanks!
Katie
I know I'm a little late but I've just returned from a long weekend in New Orleans but anyway here's my input and advice.

I've been out since before I was sixteen, I'm now thirty two and my gaydar is far from perfect but I tend to judge much better than when I was in my teens, in other words there is no magic gaydar, it's experience not magic. I'm really open about my orientation, which helps, if I meet someone new, find them likable and interesting I don't wait until we have a friendship to come out to them. I'm past the point of looking for a romantic relationship, I have that, but I've always been open and I know I meet more lesbians by being so but I also have much better friendships with hetero women, I tend to weed out those who are not suited to having a lesbian as a friend.

As far as meeting other lesbians/bisexual women you need to go where lesbian are, a good place to start, I'm assuming your young, is a college campus. Most colleges have active LGPTQ chapters, it's not hard to find out where lesbians hang, it's harder to find bisexuals because they tend to not be as open about their sexuality. If your old enough, lesbian clubs and bars can also be a place to meet but if you're interested in a relationship beware they're also places where women hookup with no intention of anything long term. By the way we lesbian can be awfully prejudice against bisexual women, I'm assuming you are bi, but don't judge all of us that way but be upfront and indentify yourself as being bi. If you do happen to find yourself in a relationship with one of us being honest gives the two of you a much better chance of being happy together.

I have no sure way of telling you how to know if another woman is a lesbian/bisexual, other than to ask, but one sure sign she's not a lesbian is if she has long fingernail, I've never know a lesbian who didn't have short, usually nicely manicured, fingernails, which isn't always true for bisexual women unless they're really active with other women.

Personally, I feel if you like the other woman, if you're interested in her and she seem the least bit interested in you just ask, if your uncomfortable with coming right out and asking than ask her out for a date, if she say no you haven't lost anything, if on the other hand she's offended and rude you really wouldn't want her as a friend anyway.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cathleen View Post
I don't know how to help on the issue, others have given good advice.

I think the use of "gaydar" is ignorant and insulting.
I realize you're trying to be supportive and while a agree the whole concept of some magic that we who happen to be lesbian/gay have to identify others who are same sex is ignorant. As I stated one tend to do better with experience reading another's words and body language. We do ourselves use the term gaydar, I don't myself find it insulting but it's not one of my favorite terms and the concept does tend to insult my intelligence.
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Last edited by Dyslexicea : 07-08-2014 at 06:48 PM.
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Old 07-19-2014, 06:02 PM   #16
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Thank you all! !!!
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Old 07-19-2014, 10:47 PM   #17
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
<snip>



I realize you're trying to be supportive and while a agree the whole concept of some magic that we who happen to be lesbian/gay have to identify others who are same sex is ignorant. As I stated one tend to do better with experience reading another's words and body language. We do ourselves use the term gaydar, I don't myself find it insulting but it's not one of my favorite terms and the concept does tend to insult my intelligence.
Oh, for goodness sakes, Dyslexicea, just put me on ignore. My comment was what I felt, it doesn't need to be approved by you as a lesbian/gay person or any other person. It was just how I feel about the word. That's all. Please stop reading into every word I post. You haven't been accurate.



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Thank you all! !!!
So, was there an outcome, KT? I hope all is fine with all parties.
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Old 07-27-2014, 03:30 PM   #18
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Hi! No outcome as of yet! Just kinda testing the waters!
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Old 07-28-2014, 07:07 AM   #19
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There's two things you gotta know about women: ONE, they need your AAA help, and TWO, theyre always looking to trade up to a better man. The rest is hormones.
A) Some of us do our own car repairs without problems.
B) not every woman is looking for a bigger dick, or wallet for that matter.
C) Just ask them out. The worst they can do is say no...
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