Originally Posted by Felineofavenueb
I'm seeing this really good looking guy, but he kisses horribly! It's like he's attacking my face with his tongue. How can I get him to kiss better without telling him and hurting his feelings???
I've found a lot is influenced by how you really feel AND a consideration of the the other person. If you really don't mean to attack someone but be helpful, it comes across in the tone of your voice, your expression, your posture, the words you choose. Sincerity is a dependable allay.
I've told a potential LT girl of something that bothered me, and when I said it, I meant as way to continue together. I meant it as a pathway to a future. I wanted to continue with this woman and what I said I meant to convey what I really felt. She was embarrassed, and that made me feel bad for her. That was an innate response to how I really felt, and she picked up on the vib that I didn't mean any harm. It worked out. We stayed together, and the problem was seen no more.
Another time, considering the personalities involved, I buttoned my lip. The principle was not to hurt people but continue the relationship together. One woman, I loved to talk to her. We could talk hour after hour, day after day. But in the bedroom, she was stiff as a board, with all kinds of do's and don't's. She was a perfectionist, and I felt a criticism of her in the bedroom was an attack on the core of who she was. I wanted the relationship to go on because of how much I like the personality of the woman and our talks. In this case, I took the short end of the stick because of the harm I could have done, and attraction to her good qualities.
I think, Felineofavenueb, if you look to your heart, it can be your best choice. If you don't want to hurt people but make the situation better, it will show through.
Oh, one thing. This kinda' shoots my principle in the foot. Some people don't take any criticism. No matter what you say to them or whether it is helpful or not, they get angry. Too defensive. I find such people impossible to work with and move on.
PS. GiggLeGasm, you are so deliciously wicked!