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Old 11-15-2013, 03:05 PM   #1
desertslave
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New Author's Vending Machine

When last we viewed our intrepid vending machine patrons, Handley Page had bravely inserted: Universal Cleaning Fluid

for his troubles, he received a black hole

I put in a charmed quark
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Old 11-15-2013, 06:16 PM   #2
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Quote:
Originally Posted by desertslave View Post
When last we viewed our intrepid vending machine patrons, Handley Page had bravely inserted: Universal Cleaning Fluid

for his troubles, he received a black hole

I put in a charmed quark
And we are all suitably charmed, I'm sure, but it's all very strange.



I put in a repaired telescope.
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"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "

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Old 11-15-2013, 10:38 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by Handley_Page View Post
And we are all suitably charmed, I'm sure, but it's all very strange.



I put in a repaired telescope.
and the red giants no longer appear blue.

I put in a Doppler-ganger...
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Old 11-15-2013, 10:57 PM   #4
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and the red giants no longer appear blue.

I put in a Doppler-ganger...
And my radar is going off like crazy!

I put in a thunderstorm...
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Old 11-15-2013, 11:09 PM   #5
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And my radar is going off like crazy!

I put in a thunderstorm...
Damn, I forgot my umbrella...

I put in a fancy sports car
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In the midst of hate, I found there was, within me, an invincible love.
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In the midst of chaos, I found there was, within me, an invincible calm.
I realized, through it all, thatů
In the midst of winter, I found there was, within me, an invincible summer.
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Old 11-15-2013, 11:28 PM   #6
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Damn, I forgot my umbrella...

I put in a fancy sports car
Damn shame the top was down

I put in an extra large roll of paper towels
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Old 11-16-2013, 12:25 AM   #7
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Damn shame the top was down

I put in an extra large roll of paper towels
and you're the quicker picker upper par excellence.

I put in an intergalactic travel towel...
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Old 11-16-2013, 12:49 AM   #8
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and you're the quicker picker upper par excellence.

I put in an intergalactic travel towel...
The travel towel does come in handy

Throwing in a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
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Old 11-16-2013, 01:04 AM   #9
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The travel towel does come in handy

Throwing in a Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal
Which is currently snarling in bewilderment in my cleverly camouflaged pit.

I put in a bucket of surplus Dilithium Crystals I bought at the Starfleet Garage Sale.
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Old 11-16-2013, 03:10 AM   #10
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Which is currently snarling in bewilderment in my cleverly camouflaged pit.

I put in a bucket of surplus Dilithium Crystals I bought at the Starfleet Garage Sale.
And they go; much too fast!



I put in a Flux Capacitor.
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"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "

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Old 11-17-2013, 06:44 PM   #11
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And they go; much too fast!



I put in a Flux Capacitor.
But it shorts out, leaving you a pile of garbage in the back seat

I put in a hoverboard
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Old 11-17-2013, 10:06 PM   #12
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But it shorts out, leaving you a pile of garbage in the back seat

I put in a hoverboard
The hooverboard is now recovering from 'The Grand Canyon' incident

I put in an anvil
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Old 11-18-2013, 12:43 PM   #13
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The hooverboard is now recovering from 'The Grand Canyon' incident

I put in an anvil
and it inexplicably falls on a coyote inspecting a crashed hoverboard a mile downriver from the Bright Angel Trail.

I put in an olla of Saguaro wine...
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Old 11-18-2013, 12:55 PM   #14
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and it inexplicably falls on a coyote inspecting a crashed hoverboard a mile downriver from the Bright Angel Trail.

I put in an olla of Saguaro wine...
And it does not work as engine oil in the car. . . .




I put in a V10 engine block as a decoration.
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Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
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Old 11-18-2013, 12:59 PM   #15
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And it does not work as engine oil in the car. . . .




I put in a V10 engine block as a decoration.
and it hangs from a Pontiac's War campaign ribbon.

I put in a Victoria, cross, and not at all amused...
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Old 11-19-2013, 07:00 PM   #16
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and it hangs from a Pontiac's War campaign ribbon.

I put in a Victoria, cross, and not at all amused...
And everybody smiles at her. . . .


I put in a torpedo
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Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
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Old 11-19-2013, 10:56 PM   #17
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And everybody smiles at her. . . .


I put in a torpedo
Hmmm... looks like a hero sandwich to me.

I put in a tray of lunch meat...
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Old 11-19-2013, 11:06 PM   #18
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Hmmm... looks like a hero sandwich to me.

I put in a tray of lunch meat...
and you get your post at Lit deleted as spam.

I put in Spam and Eggs with a side order of Spam...
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Old 11-20-2013, 04:44 AM   #19
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and you get your post at Lit deleted as spam.

I put in Spam and Eggs with a side order of Spam...
but Monty Python is presently out of the Office.



I put in a huge raincloud.
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"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "

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Old 11-20-2013, 11:55 AM   #20
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but Monty Python is presently out of the Office.



I put in a huge raincloud.
and you get Joe Bftsplk.

I put in a lucky streak...
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Old 11-20-2013, 01:57 PM   #21
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and you get Joe Bftsplk.

I put in a lucky streak...
Followed by the biggest thunderclap you ever heard.



I put in a new record player needle.
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Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "

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Old 11-20-2013, 04:00 PM   #22
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Followed by the biggest thunderclap you ever heard.



I put in a new record player needle.
Which bottoms out on my "slightly dished" vinyl.

I put in a box of vacuum tubes.
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Old 11-20-2013, 06:38 PM   #23
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Which bottoms out on my "slightly dished" vinyl.

I put in a box of vacuum tubes.
But you get burned by the soldering iron trying to make the new HiFi.



I put in a box of old radar parts
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Handley Page

"Incident at Cemetery Junction"
"Pest Control"
"Mavis's Car Trip"
"Norman-the-dragon "
"Stacy & the Angel "
" Earth Tremor on Stage ? "

http://www.literotica.com/stories/me...php?uid=883259
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Old 11-21-2013, 09:51 AM   #24
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But you get burned by the soldering iron trying to make the new HiFi.



I put in a box of old radar parts
and you get a blip.

I put in a bleep...
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Old 11-21-2013, 12:51 PM   #25
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and you get a blip.

I put in a bleep...
but it gets censored

I put in a dirty limerick
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