Go Back   Literotica Discussion Board > Main Literotica Forums > Editor's Forum

Reply
 
Thread Tools

Old 10-30-2013, 09:57 PM   #1
trace_ekies
Really Experienced
 
trace_ekies's Avatar
 
trace_ekies is offline
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 263
Editor for more of "Brad's Sister"

My posting, "Brad's Sister", while appearing to be complete by itself, is actually the first nineteen chapters of a longer story. I have written another seventeen chapters that I would like to have reviewed before posting. (There is a remote possibility that there will be even more, but again, what has been written can stand alone.) An excerpt from the proposed addition appears below:

Quote:
In spite of Brad's concern over her bare breasts, Ashley was growing comfortable with the situation. She looked up at her brother. “If you think you said something wrong, you didn't.” Her body was hidden from Brad's view by the edge of the pool. She pushed back a few inches, demonstrating her confidence in exposing herself. “Relax,” she said cheerily, “ I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't wanted to, I just needed some encouragement.”
I would like to believe I have done at least a passable job and that the foregoing contains no glaring errors. Although I would like a second set of eyes to review the basics, (spelling, grammar, readability, etc.), my primary interest in engaging an editor is to obtain help with the tone and believability of the story, particularly in respect to the characters. I want the story to have characters that most of us would find likable and can relate to. If this were a movie, I would like it to only just miss obtaining an 'R' rating - an 'X' hopefully, but certainly not 'XXX'. I want a heroine that women can relate to and that men will drool over.

The story tiptoes along the edges of exhibitionism, group sex and incest without diving head-first into any of these. It contains no elements of BDSM, no homosexuality, (male or female), and nothing kinkier than cunnilingus and fellatio, (and on Literotica, those are probably considered to be mainstream sex anyway). If this sounds like something you would like to work on, or if you just have some comments you would like to make, please pm me or comment openly to this post. My profile is here.

Last edited by trace_ekies : 10-30-2013 at 10:22 PM. Reason: Reduce the number of paragraphs.
  Reply With Quote

Old 10-31-2013, 07:17 AM   #2
sexnovella
Really Experienced
 
sexnovella's Avatar
 
sexnovella is offline
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Sweden
Posts: 113
Post Edit

I can correct all errors
__________________
Mr P
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-01-2013, 11:04 AM   #3
trace_ekies
Really Experienced
 
trace_ekies's Avatar
 
trace_ekies is offline
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 263
Thank you

Quote:
Originally Posted by sexnovella View Post
I can correct all errors
I appreciate your offer but feel that I should turn it down.

While I am sure there are still spelling, grammar and phrasing mistakes that need to be changed, the story has already been proofed numerous times in hopes of finding and correcting those types of errors.

My major concern at this time relates to the plausibility of the story and the believability of the characters. It needs to be reviewed by someone with a solid grounding in contemporary American teenage sexual attitudes.

Again, thank you for your interest.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-01-2013, 03:22 PM   #4
PennLady
Literotica Guru
 
PennLady's Avatar
 
PennLady is offline
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 7,899
Quote:
Originally Posted by trace_ekies View Post
My major concern at this time relates to the plausibility of the story and the believability of the characters. It needs to be reviewed by someone with a solid grounding in contemporary American teenage sexual attitudes.
Well I used to be a teenager, but I'm not sure how grounded that might make me in their attitudes about sex, past or present.

I'm sorry, I don't have time to edit your story. However, just in your post, you talk about the plausibility and believability of the story and I'm not sure how plausible or believable it is that a teenage girl (who I'm assuming is 18, per site rules) would expose herself in front of her brother (who I'm also assuming is 18).

I'm guessing you lay the groundwork for that in your story, and that's fine, but it's not something I'd find believable just by itself.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-01-2013, 04:52 PM   #5
trace_ekies
Really Experienced
 
trace_ekies's Avatar
 
trace_ekies is offline
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 263
Quote:
Originally Posted by PennLady View Post
Well I used to be a teenager... I'm not sure how plausible or believable it is... I'm guessing you lay the groundwork for that in your story...
Yes there is groundwork to support behavior that might normally be unlikely. (And you were right - they are both 18.) What I am looking for is someone who has the time to read the groundwork and see if it is believable in the full context.

Unfortunately, most of that is in the already posted portion, (around 30,000 words), and will require someone who not only has the time but is interested in this type of story. (This addition is, if I remember correctly, about 25,000 words.)

I understand that you don't have the time but maybe you can suggest someone who does and might be willing to take a shot at it.

Thanks for your comments.
  Reply With Quote

Old 11-17-2013, 09:52 PM   #6
trace_ekies
Really Experienced
 
trace_ekies's Avatar
 
trace_ekies is offline
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: USA
Posts: 263
Smile

Thank you all for your help. I did get all of it edited by Linda62953. About 20% of it has been submitted. Thanks again to all.
__________________
My Stories
  Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump



All times are GMT -4. The time now is 10:36 AM.

Copyright 1998-2013 Literotica Online. Literotica is a registered trademark.