My posting, "Brad's Sister", while appearing to be complete by itself, is actually the first nineteen chapters of a longer story. I have written another seventeen chapters that I would like to have reviewed before posting. (There is a remote possibility that there will be even more, but again, what has been written can stand alone.) An excerpt from the proposed addition appears below:
In spite of Brad's concern over her bare breasts, Ashley was growing comfortable with the situation. She looked up at her brother. “If you think you said something wrong, you didn't.” Her body was hidden from Brad's view by the edge of the pool. She pushed back a few inches, demonstrating her confidence in exposing herself. “Relax,” she said cheerily, “ I wouldn't have done it if I hadn't wanted to, I just needed some encouragement.”
I would like to believe I have done at least a passable job and that the foregoing contains no glaring errors. Although I would like a second set of eyes to review the basics, (spelling, grammar, readability, etc.), my primary interest in engaging an editor is to obtain help with the tone and believability of the story, particularly in respect to the characters. I want the story to have characters that most of us would find likable and can relate to. If this were a movie, I would like it to only just miss obtaining an 'R' rating - an 'X' hopefully, but certainly not 'XXX'. I want a heroine that women can relate to and that men will drool over.
The story tiptoes along the edges of exhibitionism, group sex and incest without diving head-first into any of these. It contains no elements of BDSM, no homosexuality, (male or female), and nothing kinkier than cunnilingus and fellatio, (and on Literotica, those are probably considered to be mainstream sex anyway). If this sounds like something you would like to work on, or if you just have some comments you would like to make, please pm me or comment openly to this post. My profile is here