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Old 05-07-2013, 03:38 PM   #26
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If I had used "Waxed the Carrot" would I be a vegitarian?
*nod*

People who "tossed the pink salad" and "ate at the Y" are definitely vagitarians.
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:43 PM   #27
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Originally Posted by damppanties View Post
*nod*

People who "tossed the pink salad" and "ate at the Y" are definitely vagitarians.
Well, I prefer tuna tacos, myself.
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Old 05-07-2013, 06:36 PM   #28
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Originally Posted by damppanties View Post
*nod*

People who "tossed the pink salad" and "ate at the Y" are definitely vagitarians.
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Well, I prefer tuna tacos, myself.
Oh yeah. This vagitarian definitely loves a box lunch, be it a bearded clam sandwich or a furburger with a side of thighs.
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Old 05-16-2013, 12:51 PM   #29
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It's much more fun when I get to watch, or be watched.

I don't think anyone really needs to be taught how to masturbate. Instead, we should teach that masturbation isn't either sinful or harmful, and thus remove the stigma associated with it.
Being I've been away and missed this thread and it's also still masturbation month I'm giving this a bump.

I agree that we should not be taught that masturbation is sinful or harmful and the stigma associated with masturbation is actually something that is rather new to society. It is surprising the extent to which some resorted to to stop people from masturbating especially children and young adults. You may find this amusing, in a way frightening, The Anti-Masturbation Movements 14-Greatest Inventions.

As far as masturbation being taught I am of a differing opinion. For men, at least as I perceive it, it is very easy to learn how to masturbate to orgasm. It really isn't the masturbation that is the goal it's the orgasm. But according to the latest data, actually tests not self surveys, the average man in the U.S. last three to five minutes during intercourse, which in my opinion isn't long enough to satisfy any woman. So men should be taught not how to masturbate but how to control his orgasm while masturbating.

By the way I know all you Lit guys last forever, I checked the thread, the men who posted lasted anywhere from fifteen minutes to an hour and one half.

Although learning to masturbate to orgasm for you men seems to be easy, it's not so for us, our bodies are much more complicated that yours are, we have to learn how to have an orgasm, I even think we have to learn how to allow ourselves to have an orgasm. Once we've done so practice makes perfect and over time we can give ourselves an orgasm very quickly, that is if we want it to happen quickly, sometime the play is almost as satisfying as the orgasm itself. So I think it would be good for women to be taught exactly how our bodies function when it comes to sexual arousal and orgasm.

I thought ya'll might like to read about masturbation from the perspective of a few queer ladies, Masturbation Memory Lane. Just the art work is worth a look see, very erotic flowers.
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Old 05-16-2013, 01:13 PM   #30
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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
Being I've been away and missed this thread and it's also still masturbation month I'm giving this a bump.

I agree that we should not be taught that masturbation is sinful or harmful and the stigma associated with masturbation is actually something that is rather new to society. It is surprising the extent to which some resorted to to stop people from masturbating especially children and young adults. You may find this amusing, in a way frightening, The Anti-Masturbation Movements 14-Greatest Inventions.

As far as masturbation being taught I am of a differing opinion. For men, at least as I perceive it, it is very easy to learn how to masturbate to orgasm. It really isn't the masturbation that is the goal it's the orgasm. But according to the latest data, actually tests not self surveys, the average man in the U.S. last three to five minutes during intercourse, which in my opinion isn't long enough to satisfy any woman. So men should be taught not how to masturbate but how to control his orgasm while masturbating.

By the way I know all you Lit guys last forever, I checked the thread, the men who posted lasted anywhere from fifteen minutes to an hour and one half.

Although learning to masturbate to orgasm for you men seems to be easy, it's not so for us, our bodies are much more complicated that yours are, we have to learn how to have an orgasm, I even think we have to learn how to allow ourselves to have an orgasm. Once we've done so practice makes perfect and over time we can give ourselves an orgasm very quickly, that is if we want it to happen quickly, sometime the play is almost as satisfying as the orgasm itself. So I think it would be good for women to be taught exactly how our bodies function when it comes to sexual arousal and orgasm.

I thought ya'll might like to read about masturbation from the perspective of a few queer ladies, Masturbation Memory Lane. Just the art work is worth a look see, very erotic flowers.
Yeah, we're all wham-bam porn studs and all about the money shot...

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Old 05-16-2013, 01:37 PM   #31
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
Being I've been away and missed this thread and it's also still masturbation month I'm giving this a bump.

By the way I know all you Lit guys last forever, I checked the thread, the men who posted lasted anywhere from fifteen minutes to an hour and one half.

I thought ya'll might like to read about masturbation from the perspective of a few queer ladies, Masturbation Memory Lane. Just the art work is worth a look see, very erotic flowers.
On one of those links there was a article on 'Vajazzeling' Verrry Interesting! Maybe we should start a Vajazzeling thread with Pix?
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Old 05-16-2013, 01:47 PM   #32
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There she goes, assuming that man's natural goal is to please the woman (and posted to a thread on masturbation too).
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:42 PM   #33
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Actually, despite the general assumptions, Dys isn't completely off. But she's wrong in the assumption that masturbation for men is uniformly easy. Neither are the physical motions of sex.

I'm only going on personal experiences here, but I've known numerous men (including myself) who only "get off" a certain way. A lot of men I've known can only achieve orgasm through masturbation. They can have sex with someone, but won't achieve orgasm unless they beat off.

Personally, I can get into any position my wife wants, but I'm not going to have an orgasm unless I'm on my back, legs straight, and there's a lot of pressure and stimulation on my penis. So if I'm on my knees, or squatting, or standing, I can go all day long. True, I can shorten the process somewhat by doing it myself, but it's more intense when my wife makes me cum.
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:51 PM   #34
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Originally Posted by steve44uk View Post
Yeah, we're all wham-bam porn studs and all about the money shot...

Personally, I discovered the joys of edging long before I turned 16...
Good for you and maybe better for your significant other, if you have one.

Contrary to what you or others think, the fact that men, according to research, don't last nearly as long as men seem to brag about was not a condemnation of men, I just pointed out that men like women need to be taught early about masturbating and the needs of their eventual partner or partners.

I would think if a man learns from masturbating to come quickly it's going to be a very hard habit to break. I also believe that most boys want to please girls, that is the norm, so if boys know coming to quickly isn't going to be satisfactory to the girls, they'll learn early to control their orgasms. Which of course also prolongs their own pleasure. So both the boys and girls come out winners
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Old 05-16-2013, 02:55 PM   #35
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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
Good for you and maybe better for your significant other, if you have one.

Contrary to what you or others think, the fact that men, according to research, don't last nearly as long as men seem to brag about was not a condemnation of men, I just pointed out that men like women need to be taught early about masturbating and the needs of their eventual partner or partners.

I would think if a man learns from masturbating to come quickly it's going to be a very hard habit to break. I also believe that most boys want to please girls, that is the norm, so if boys know coming to quickly isn't going to be satisfactory to the girls, they'll learn early to control their orgasms. Which of course also prolongs their own pleasure. So both the boys and girls come out winners
It's in our nature to take anything relating to our bodies as grounds for a pissing contest, as it were. if Guy A says he can hold out for 5 minutes, Guy B says he can last 6 minutes, and so on.

But while the three-to-five minute benchmark may be the rule, there is a great amount of variation. One friend of mine was fond of saying, in reference to any woman he wanted to date, that "I'll give her the best 45 seconds she's ever known."
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Old 05-16-2013, 03:35 PM   #36
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It's in our nature to take anything relating to our bodies as grounds for a pissing contest, as it were. if Guy A says he can hold out for 5 minutes, Guy B says he can last 6 minutes, and so on.

But while the three-to-five minute benchmark may be the rule, there is a great amount of variation. One friend of mine was fond of saying, in reference to any woman he wanted to date, that "I'll give her the best 45 seconds she's ever known."


Of course I do know that there is a great variation in men. I also know that pleasing a partner, particularly if that partner happens to be a woman, a good lover knows for most women intercourse may be pleasurable but it is not the main course. The truth is a man could be a marvelous lover and really only last forty five seconds, although I think most women would like intercourse to last longer, it would hardly be worth strapping it on for forty five seconds.

As far as men go, I have to go by what I read or from something a hetero/bi woman tells me. Men may talk sex but they surely don't talk about sex in as personal away as some do here, by the way I found your last post interesting. I'm a curious person and not being a man hater as some assume, I find men's sexuality interesting. I also believe that men just like us women want to please their partners. I may have some misgivings about men but I don't feel most men are selfish lovers. At least they don't intend to be so.
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Old 05-17-2013, 01:28 AM   #37
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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post


Of course I do know that there is a great variation in men. I also know that pleasing a partner, particularly if that partner happens to be a woman, a good lover knows for most women intercourse may be pleasurable but it is not the main course. The truth is a man could be a marvelous lover and really only last forty five seconds, although I think most women would like intercourse to last longer, it would hardly be worth strapping it on for forty five seconds.

As far as men go, I have to go by what I read or from something a hetero/bi woman tells me. Men may talk sex but they surely don't talk about sex in as personal away as some do here, by the way I found your last post interesting. I'm a curious person and not being a man hater as some assume, I find men's sexuality interesting. I also believe that men just like us women want to please their partners. I may have some misgivings about men but I don't feel most men are selfish lovers. At least they don't intend to be so.
To be frank, I would say that the majority of men -- at least in the culture that I know -- are more fixated on their own gratification before pleasing their partner. We could have a thousand men post on this thread claiming they think of their lover first, but that would only be a thousand out of a hundred and thirty million or so men in the United States. Expand that to include the UK, Europe, Australia, and so on, and the disparity would be even greater.

I think a lot of men see themselves as being good in bed; whether or not they actually are is up to the opinion of their lovers. It's a mark of male pride to be so good in bed that the women, or men, they bed come back craving more. Personally, I've never had a woman actually tell me I was so good in bed that they just couldn't imagine another man being better. That sort of thing only happens in erotica. What draws a lover back is not the physical aspect of being with someone, but the emotional and/or material.

It's my opinion that anyone only becomes a better lover under two circumstances: they see lovemaking as an art and wish to learn and train themselves, or they devote themselves to one or a close group of lovers and learn what "rocks their world." Either way, it requires that any particular lover forgo their own needs in favor of pleasing the person they are pleasuring . . . with the hoped-for caveat that they will be rewarded in kind.
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:12 AM   #38
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Aw, and I thought I would toss in a witty little innuendo and be done! (Toss? As in toss-off? Or toss a salad? Okay, mission #1 accomplished.)

I didn't anticipate a thoughtful discussion.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
I agree that we should not be taught that masturbation is sinful or harmful....
Look, I agree with this. However, let's not discount the magical sensation many of us felt when we first discovered what we could make our bodies do. What a marvelous discovery! Like learning how to tickle yourself, only better. Sure, those feelings of shame and guilt are bothersome, but perhaps those sensations taught us something, too? I'm not a fan of hazing, even when it's self-inflicted, but it occurs to me: maybe there's a hidden lesson here, too?

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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
As far as masturbation being taught I am of a differing opinion. For men, at least as I perceive it, it is very easy to learn how to masturbate to orgasm.
I would like to propose that it's equally easy for women to discover the same magic trick.

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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
It really isn't the masturbation that is the goal it's the orgasm. But according to the latest data, actually tests not self surveys, the average man in the U.S. last three to five minutes during intercourse, which in my opinion isn't long enough to satisfy any woman. So men should be taught not how to masturbate but how to control his orgasm while masturbating.
While masturbation "exercises" can be useful in teaching a man self-control, I'm afraid you're over valuing the concept. The act of placing a penis inside a vagina carries so many more stimuli that it bears little resemblance to masturbation. I could teach myself to last forever when I masturbate, but it would do little to equip me for the overwhelming sensation of actually sticking my penis inside a real woman who I found attractive. I'm sorry, Dyslexicea, but I find major holes in your theory that frequent masturbation impedes a man's ability to last longer during intercourse. To me, that's not an apples to apples comparison.

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Although learning to masturbate to orgasm for you men seems to be easy, it's not so for us, our bodies are much more complicated that yours are, we have to learn how to have an orgasm,
Sorry, but I'm going to respectfully (and I really do mean respectfully) suggest "BULLSHIT!" on this element, too. You would have us believe that because a man's sex organs are on the outside versus tucked inside a labia majora that it's more difficult for a woman to find her clit than it is for a man to find his prick? I don't believe that's true. Nor do I believe a woman's body is more complicated than a man's body. Touch here in this way and it feels really good to me. That's not gender specific. No, I would suggest there's more going on beyond the physical configurations of our bodies. And I think that more is fascinating!

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I even think we have to learn how to allow ourselves to have an orgasm.
I quote these words of yours because I think they validate my suggestion that it's not physiology that makes the difference, but attitude. And I believe attitude is a learned behavior.

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I would think if a man learns from masturbating to come quickly it's going to be a very hard habit to break.
So, following your logic, what we NEED to do is teach girls/women: learn to come quickly, because your man isn't going to last very long. And do what you can to figure out how to orgasm from clumsy, ill-informed technique, because that's all you're going to get. Oh, and even though it feels best when you're rubbing your clit, you need to figure out how to come in 3-5 minutes from vaginal intercourse for your man to feel validated. If you can't do that, just fake it and rub one out later on your own.

Wow, are we setting up women for failure or what? Because we all know, if a woman comes too fast or too easily, she must either be a slut or a nymphomaniac and in need of treatment, right? (Please catch the sarcasm in that last thought.) I believe our Maker (He, She, It or even evolution) did a good job at making a vagina orgasm (without clitoris stimulation, we're left to assume it's the magic of the g-spot) analogous to a man receiving an orgasm from prostate stimulation alone. I have gay friends who swear they can orgasm from anal intercourse alone. Just as I have straight, female friends who swear they can orgasm without stimulation of their clitoris. (Personally, I think both these groups are freaks.) Find that joy spot and give it a thrill!

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I also believe that most boys want to please girls, that is the norm,
Yep, I agree for a simple reason. Because boys want to tap that a second (third, fourth) time. Make her squeal and you're much more likely to be invited back inside of her.

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It's in our nature to take anything relating to our bodies as grounds for a pissing contest, as it were. if Guy A says he can hold out for 5 minutes, Guy B says he can last 6 minutes, and so on.
I agree! And this may be a gender difference, I don't know. I also believe most guys know their friends are lying and it's male bonding to accept the other man's lie. Perhaps even more interesting, I've never once heard a woman brag, "I'm so tight, I whistle when I piss." Seems as if that could be an attractive statement, right? I mean, if she's truly that tight, she's going to feel wonderful, right? And if she's truly that tight, then my size (big or small) won't matter, so I'm off the hook there, too, right? And yet, while men will sometimes complain about how "I had to tie a 2x4 around my ass so I wouldn't fall in," I've NEVER heard a woman brag about her tightness. I have, however, had the joy of experiencing a woman so tight and disciplined with her Kegel muscles that it felt as if she was giving me a handjob while I was fucking her. (Just one gets that honor and she never bragged about it.)

Quote:
Originally Posted by slyc_willie View Post
To be frank, I would say that the majority of men -- at least in the culture that I know -- are more fixated on their own gratification before pleasing their partner.
I disagree. I just finished watching Mel Brooks on the public TV program American Masters where he suggested, "We like other people, but we love ourselves." I'm not sure I agree with Mel, either.

Quote:
Originally Posted by slyc_willie View Post
We could have a thousand men post on this thread claiming they think of their lover first, but...
I got back to what I suggested earlier. Setting aside the thrill some of us have with pleasing our partners - there's the element of wanting to tap it a second time. if you fail to perform the first time, you're not invited back a second time.

Quote:
Originally Posted by slyc_willie View Post
Personally, I've never had a woman actually tell me I was so good in bed that they just couldn't imagine another man being better.
Me neither, however, I have dared women (not literally, btw) to find better. I'm not saying I'm all that in bed, but I do believe I'm a compassionate, romantic lover who genuine cares about my partner having a good time. That said, a psychologist could have a field day with my desire to please, so I don't see this "need" to please as a strength.

Quote:
Originally Posted by slyc_willie View Post
Either way, it requires that any particular lover forgo their own needs in favor of pleasing the person they are pleasuring . . . with the hoped-for caveat that they will be rewarded in kind.
Yeah, I'm down with that!
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:34 AM   #39
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I LOL'd I sucked in the Duckman.

Yeah, I well that everyone has had a say and right good comments. They were civil and thought provoking.

Now so what about a Jill/Jack off, to see who can come first, last, or just satisfactorily?

I was kidding, really.
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Old 05-22-2013, 07:46 AM   #40
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Old 05-22-2013, 11:31 AM   #41
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Look, I agree with this. However, let's not discount the magical sensation many of us felt when we first discovered what we could make our bodies do. What a marvelous discovery! Like learning how to tickle yourself, only better. Sure, those feelings of shame and guilt are bothersome, but perhaps those sensations taught us something, too? I'm not a fan of hazing, even when it's self-inflicted, but it occurs to me: maybe there's a hidden lesson here, too?
Since you asked the question and we all know you think you have the answer why did you not give us your theory!

I fail to see any good in teaching children that masturbation and to a large extent sex is sinful and shameful. Speaking only as a woman, I think it is more harmful for us than it is for you men. You seem to get past that guilt and shame. Whereas, at least as far as masturbation goes women have a far greater struggle with the guilt and shame. Which by the way is provable, the vast majority of men learn to masturbate shortly before or just after the start of puberty, where a large percentage of women don't masturbate until they're in their twenties or later. The vast majority of men masturbate, whereas a large number of women never masturbate.

I do contend teaching both sexes proper sex education with lack of shame or guilt, including masturbation, including real sex not the average sperm fertilizes the egg kind, which is common, would make for more balanced adults with far fewer hang-ups both sexual hang-ups and other hang-ups, as sex effects more than just our sex life. I also contend that these classes should be separated by gender.


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I would like to propose that it's equally easy for women to discover the same magic trick. but I find major holes in your theory that frequent masturbation impedes a man's ability to last longer during intercourse.

Sorry, but I'm going to respectfully (and I really do mean respectfully) suggest "BULLSHIT!" on this element, too. You would have us believe that because a man's sex organs are on the outside versus tucked inside a labia majora that it's more difficult for a woman to find her clit than it is for a man to find his prick? I don't believe that's true. Nor do I believe a woman's body is more complicated than a man's body. Touch here in this way and it feels really good to me. That's not gender specific. No, I would suggest there's more going on beyond the physical configurations of our bodies. And I think that more is fascinating!
No you're not being respectful, so I guess I'm free to be just as respectful as you think you are. This is just typical, a man thinking he knows what it's like to be a woman, what it's like to have our bodies, what we're suppose to feel and how we react. What I have stated about men and masturbating was from research, some at sites which deal with human sexuality others sites run by men which talk about sex, some like you just assume they know it all about women, while others actually ask us how we feel and what our needs are. Add to that I've embarrassed many of my male friends with very frank sexual questions.

What you did was just assume you knew all you needed to know about us. What you could have done is researched before you put your foot in your month. You can find the facts, I myself wrote a very extensive article about a woman's sexual response cycle, which has been published on many web sites, an article which I parodied here, even I learned a lot about my own responses and needs. By the way I'm not the only one who's published such an article.

If you'd have bothered to do the research you would have found that it's not "I would like to propose that it's equally easy for women to discover the same magic trick." Yes we can find our clitoris but unlike a man's penis it is not instantly felled with blood, nor is our clitoris a match for a man's penis, sensitivity varies greatly, from to sensitive to touch to needing a very firm, even hard, touch to get stimulation. Not to mention that for some women this can even vary during her menstrual cycle. Even the slightest amount of research would have shown you that many, many women feel the same way about masturbation as I do, it's something we have to learn, along with learning how to allow ourselves to have an orgasm but of course I'm wrong you're the authority on women's masturbation.

Just to correct your misstatement of what I didn't say. I said nothing about the frequency of men masturbating. Nor did I contend that frequency of masturbation has anything to do with a man's duration during intercourse. Where you came up with that I have no idea, maybe you need to check deeply into your own mind, it's not in mine.

I could go on I could respond to each one of your rather angry responses to what I wrote but I'm just not going to bother, you seem to be angry over the truth, three minute of intercourse isn't going to satisfy any woman. And where did I call any woman a slut, I tend to think men are much more likely to be sluts than women are. Before all you men jump all over me I do not think all men are sluts but I do not except that a man can be a stud and for the same thing a woman is a slut.

By the way despite your sarcasm it doesn't change the fact that most women are never going to have a vaginal orgasm and men who believe they can and don't give them orgasms are going to be the men who complain about their partner never wanting to have sex.

By the way I know more about having sex with a woman than you'll ever imagine. I've been with more women than you could dream of. I've given more women orgasms than you could even contemplate. I've received just as good as I've given. So don't tell me what women need, I know what women need and the truth is it's a lot more than breast, clit, vulva and vagina.

Being we women are so clueless is there anything else I need to know about being a woman that you can enlighten me about?
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Old 05-22-2013, 12:34 PM   #42
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You certainly do know how to suck all of the fun out of masturbating.
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:36 PM   #43
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I seem to have a real problem with pissing people off when pissing them off wasn't my intention. Apparently, I've lost a filter on my brain somewhere. Accepted or not, Dyslexicea, I'll extend an apology for offending when that wasn't my intention.

I believe that civilization suppresses a woman's sexuality. I believe women are taught from birth forward that their sexuality isn't welcomed. I believe more sophisticated (modern) society has done an even better job at teaching and enforcing these unfair regulations. I believe it requires a rare and exceptional woman who can ignore that training and allow her body to experience the joy of sex for the simple joy of an orgasm without guilt. You're right, I don't perceive a physiological difference that suggests the difference. We all start as females in the womb. (Interesting article related to this.) "The cells that become the clitoris in a girl, become a penis in the boy. The clitoral hood and foreskin are the same in the beginning. The ovaries become the testes, and the labia the scrotum." Sort of a one-for-one exchange as I see it.

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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
Since you asked the question and we all know you think you have the answer why did you not give us your theory!
You've asked me to explain what possible value I can see in the feeling of guilt and shame often felt when we first learn to masturbate. I believe those feelings teach us that as good as sex feels, it has a place in our lives. It's probably not a good idea to start jerking or jilling off as the urge occurs to us. So, a bit of guilt goes a long way towards suggesting "Hey, maybe this is something I should keep to myself." Keeping it private, I suspect, is another learned behavior, too. Toddlers touch and explore themselves and what do the adults do? Brush their hands away, tell them it's okay to touch, but not in public, etc. Who lets their toddler do something like in the middle of the park? (And that kid better learn to self-regulate before they start school!)

Additionally, we tend to bond through the confession of secrets amongst ourselves. By sharing secrets and inner-most feelings, we find people who feel as we do and form lasting relationships that enrich our lives. Sharing these intimate parts of our bodies with each other sure does a good job at making that happen. Discovering that it feels even better when he or she does it TO us, better yet!

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I fail to see any good in teaching children that masturbation and to a large extent sex is sinful and shameful. Speaking only as a woman, I think it is more harmful for us than it is for you men. You seem to get past that guilt and shame.
I agree, teaching that it's sinful or shameful is wrong, but even teaching "proper time and place" makes that inference and there's only so much reasoning we can accomplish with those young minds.

As for suggesting it's even more harmful for women... I'm sorry, I can't agree. I will, however, suggest that women receive a stronger negative message than men; which goes back to my original contention that civilization is afraid of female sexuality.

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Which by the way is provable, the vast majority of men learn to masturbate shortly before or just after the start of puberty, where a large percentage of women don't masturbate until they're in their twenties or later. The vast majority of men masturbate, whereas a large number of women never masturbate.
Different studies give different results. I agree, men tend to start masturbating sooner than women and men are more likely to masturbate than women. Is it due to hormonal differences alone? I don't think so. Maybe. Otherwise, I would attribute society's teachings as having more of an impact. That's my opinion. I don't expect to persuade you.

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I do contend teaching both sexes proper sex education with lack of shame or guilt, including masturbation, ... would make for more balanced adults with far fewer hang-ups both sexual hang-ups ... . I also contend that these classes should be separated by gender.
I agree with all this. I wish it would happen. I believe something needs to happen to help women unlearn society's bias's and men need to learn how they contribute to the problem.

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No you're not being respectful, so I guess I'm free to be just as respectful as you think you are. This is just typical, a man thinking he knows what it's like to be a woman, what it's like to have our bodies, what we're suppose to feel and how we react.
I've already apologized for how I came across. I'll freely offer another apology and can only hope with this greater explanation behind my reasoning that you can forgive the tone you perceived. I don't believe I know how it feels to be a woman, I can only guess. The same works in reverse.

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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
What you did was just assume you knew all you needed to know about us. What you could have done is researched before you put your foot in your month. You can find the facts, ..
As a man, I can assure you, there is no limit to my inability to understand the female mind. (Now see? I wrote that hoping it would come across as being funny, but now I'm afraid the humor was completely missed. Alas.)

As far as research is concerned and fact-finding - I won't suggest I know more about these topics than any specific individual. I simply don't know you well enough to make that kind of assessment. (If I point out how that's a two-way street, does that come across as a friendly suggestion or do I sound like an insensitive ass again?)

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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
If you'd have bothered to do the research...
Let's pretend that maybe I have done my research, it will save us a lot of time. Aside from the differences either learned or hormonal, the physiology of the body parts suggests no difference in one gender's ability to achieve orgasm versus the other gender. Depending on where you'd like to take this, I could cite how women have more nerve endings in their clitoris than a man has in his entire penis. Or, I can point out how the penis and clitoris both branch off from the pudendal nerve, which has roughly the same amount. Or, I can cite research suggestion the man's nerve endings are better than a woman's.

Setting aside the impact of testosterone vs. estrogen's ability to impact desire or sexual interest, the physiology of the body parts would seem to either support my contentions or suggest that women may have an easier time with orgasms than men. Women are blessed with an innate ability to be multi-orgasmic and without a reduced refractory period following orgasm.

Does science show that it takes longer for women to get off than men? Yep. But again, my contention is that it takes longer for women to get past all that unfair conditioning they've received. If one can't accept my initial premise, then I have no argument. And maybe I have a blind spot that proves me wrong. Okay, I'm all for changing my thinking. Can someone give me a link? Not a link that shows a study finding that women take longer to orgasm than men, those are easy to find. I want a link that cites the underlying reason behind the finding and suggests it's due to the differences in physiology instead of conditioning.

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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
Just to correct your misstatement of what I didn't say. I said nothing about the frequency of men masturbating. Nor did I contend that frequency of masturbation has anything to do with a man's duration during intercourse. Where you came up with that I have no idea, maybe you need to check deeply into your own mind, it's not in mine.
You're right, I did misspeak in that section of my reply. What you said was this, "So men should be taught not how to masturbate but how to control his orgasm while masturbating." And that doesn't say anything about frequency. So I'll reword my faulty sentence from: "...I find major holes in your theory that frequent masturbation impedes a man's ability to last longer..." to this: "I don't believe masturbation control can fully equip a man to control the thrill he will feel during intercourse." Speaking from the point of view of a man - the sensations of having one's primary sexual organ accepted inside the body of a welcoming recipient bears little resemblance to the act of masturbating. Furthermore, when attempting to treat a man with premature ejaculation issues, the point of masturbation isn't to teach a man how to withhold his orgasm as much as it is meant to instruct a man to recognize when his orgasm is imminent. Once he can recognize when his orgasm is imminent, then he is given specific guidance for what to do when he is with his partner. Ideally, in treatment, his partner receives specific guidance as well. Lasting 3-5 minutes is not considered pre-mature. Additionally, the techniques taught to genuinely pre-mature men can be deployed by other men who simply wish to last longer in the sack.

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Originally Posted by Dyslexicea View Post
... you seem to be angry over the truth, three minute of intercourse isn't going to satisfy any woman.
I guess I am angry about that. That wasn't my first reaction to your words, but as I reflect on them, I'll accept their truth if I'm allowed to add to them. I'm angry that successful sex is measured by orgasms. I'm angry that men are allowed to brag about their sexual conquests where women are not given that same respect. Hell, I'm even angry that most people accept the word "conquest" as being an appropriate description for male behavior. I'm also angry that women are not allowed or encouraged to embrace their full, recreational sexual potential; whether that includes doing it themselves or with the partner(s) of their choice. I'm angry that society is intimidated by female sexuality and provides them with so many mixed messages. I'm angry that too many women have been led to believe that if they don't have an orgasm during intercourse, there's something wrong with them or that they're less of a woman because of it. I'm angry that this list can go on and on for me.

Here's what I'm NOT angry about, Dyslexicea. I'm not angry at you or your opinions, including the ones I might not share. I hope you'll accept these words in the spirit of open minded debate in which they were offered.

And now that I feel guilty about hijacking JackLuis's thread, I think I'll give Masturbation month with my own one handed salute!
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Old 05-22-2013, 02:38 PM   #44
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You certainly do know how to suck all of the fun out of masturbating.
If you're sucking while masturbating, you're more flexible than me, better hung and dammit, I want pictures!!!!

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Old 05-22-2013, 02:47 PM   #45
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If you're sucking while masturbating, you're more flexible than me, better hung and dammit, I want pictures!!!!

You mean you can't? Oh, my.
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Old 05-22-2013, 03:36 PM   #46
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You mean you can't? Oh, my.
Has been for lack of making the effort
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Old 05-22-2013, 04:10 PM   #47
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Quote:
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And now that I feel guilty about hijacking JackLuis's thread, I think I'll give Masturbation month with my own one handed salute!
I don't think you hijacked the thread. I understand the points you made to Dyslexicea. and I was happy to see your response to her was civil.

I quite often say something in jest and get yelled at here.
Dyslexicea often misinterprets my words. I suppose it is her perspective that men are all Beasts to be flogged when they fail to understand the perspective of women.

But I like her, she keeps me sensitive and less a beast. I agree that our society suppresses women. It is a sad fact that America is hostage to a Victorian attitude, which is a misnomer as actual Victorians were much randier than we suppose.

I wonder how things might have turned out if Prince Albert had lived to a ripe old age and all this black dressed prudishness hadn't happened?
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Old 05-23-2013, 08:50 PM   #48
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Here's another angle on the Masturbation Model.

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Quote:
I’ve been pretty busy lately and I’ve noticed something. I’ve been doing lots of little quickies with myself. In my marriage, we engage in mutual masturbation, and my husband also knows that I help myself sometimes, especially when my drive is in overload and his isn’t. When I masturbate it doesn’t take anything away from him. Most of the time it just gets me keyed up for later (with him) so it’s all good.

I used to spend more time at it though. I’d shower or take a bath and lie down on my bed and think about fantasies involving my husband and slowly work myself into it. I can’t remember the last time I did that though! Recently it’s been more like 30 seconds of rubbing, BAM, and then I’m finished and ready to go do something else.
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Old 06-28-2013, 01:02 PM   #49
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Old 06-28-2013, 01:22 PM   #50
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Smile Quantity!

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