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Old 04-10-2013, 07:52 PM   #3626
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Angeline View Post
There are a bunch of new poems that are well worth your reading time today. Especially don't miss Morrowing, Still from Greensparks. It is a tour de force!
Absolutely! I'm still unraveling it. I'm looking forward to more submissions by this poet.
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Old 04-11-2013, 02:44 PM   #3627
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He met her by Scorpio44a has an unfinished feel to it, almost like a sculptors frame needing to be filled out. The reader can’t empathize with “He” or “Her” because they’re too shadowy. I was left wondering WHY, what the back story is and, finally, why I should care.

I must admit my heart sank when I saw erectus123’s poem entitled, Chained to a Post . Oh no, I thought, not another D/s ode and braced myself to read through it. The final lines made me smile and not just from relief. It’s not hugely good but clever and comes from an original idea so for that I recommend it.

But it’s downhill from there……

A Tranny Complains by erectus123 is enclosed in unnecessary quotation marks, the title gives us the voice. I found the many internal rhymes or close rhymes more a distraction than an asset to the overall piece.

You Got’a Pay for Pussy by erectus123 is another longer pieces that didn’t engage me and, I confess, I never finished.

Well Lit by susansnow is a block or words. I’m sure they’re meaningful but I heard the “whoosh” over my head and feel excluded somehow. If you like obscure, obtuse works then this is for you.

Your Language is another of susansnows seemingly random word collections but this one strikes a chord. It has the feel of a tightening noose of helplessness in the face of life out of control, wondering what the next piece of bad news will be. The raccoon baffles me though.

I breath you by sexnovella who can’t live up to the name with this one. Nothing novel to peek our interest here.

Ashesh9 has one – Nuclear Conflict perhaps triggered by the saber rattling of North Korea and it’s uneasy boy-king. I am abstaining from comment, it’s too political and there are too many capitals.
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Old 04-11-2013, 03:01 PM   #3628
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Old poetry recommendations

Try this one from Maria2394 3/17/12
http://www.literotica.com/p/bad-day-at-skeeter-pond
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Old 04-11-2013, 03:59 PM   #3629
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Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryHill View Post
Try this one from Maria2394 3/17/12
http://www.literotica.com/p/bad-day-at-skeeter-pond
Maria is an excellent poet and I'm so glad you've discovered her bug day poems. Really. She's a gifted poet.

But this thread was specifically set up to be the one place new poems can get recognition and we've tried over the years to keep it that way. There have been some wonderful threads where we recommend older poems. I'll try to find one and bump it or you can feel free to start a new one. Thanks for understanding.

<mod voice out>



ETA: I bumped The Archival Review thread in case anyone wants to peruse or add to it.
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Old 04-13-2013, 12:46 PM   #3630
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Just for the record, I am back...but no new poems were posted on Friday for review/recommendation. I recommend: posting some for next week
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Old 04-16-2013, 02:49 PM   #3631
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Pouquilouri is a new Lit poet who opens with nine submissions today. All pieces are short, with no wasted words.

Mine by scarlet_letter87
A very erotic piece from Scarlet Letter about claiming possession.

Endgame by wakingDown
I think this piece is intended to have a clever format which should lead the eyes across the page to the next line, but as it appears on the monitor, is confusing and one is not sure if the words were read in the correct order.
Instinct Awakened by wakingDownA sermon on the senses.

Falling Rain- story poem by erectus123
An eroto-political piece, which doesn't quite work.

It's all about the imagery by lonelyhousewife32
This is a brilliant piece with some wonderful imagery. I think capital letters and punctuation would make and easier read.

Still dreaming by AndreaDayleA lovely and very erotic poem from a new Lit poet. We need more such as this.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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Old 04-18-2013, 03:03 PM   #3632
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Six new poems today.

Mind games - Taken by darkness by SweetOblivian is first up. I actually love this poem, SO builds a somber picture of power and subjugation, pleasure and pain which, although the physical evidence fades away, the memory does not. There’s a lot to like in this. Recommended.

Tied down in the Land of the Free - You’re in the America now by seannelson is a slyly bitter ode to, I presume, his country stating what many are thinking but few seem to put to words. It has clever word play and the chorus gives a lyrics bent, well worth a read – or two.

Who needs Viagra? - Erotica Brevis by erectus123 is mis-titled. Rather than a brief erotic encounter the protagonist is still aroused “hours after”. The first two lines need a connection, after so many days…….. I don’t really like “slippery ass” (both for the image and the sonic ) or the clichéd “throbbing cock” and “tight cunt”. The last lines feel like an afterthought and don’t really add anything. Apart from that, well done.

Honest, kind, best find - My true love is by shewaitstruelove is your standard “June/moon” type of verse. Do you really think as you write? You can rhyme, well done, now make it interesting to your readers.

It ain’t necessarily so - It should always be so by sexnovella [– a quotation – “we lived our minds rushing like a mist of scents” – what does this mean?

Familial void - I Need a Family by weepinangel88 should be emotional. The subject, an abandoned child, is very poignant and yet this poem conveys none of that. Structurally it has forced rhymes and no beat, Sorry, no cookie.
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Old 04-23-2013, 02:08 PM   #3633
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We Are The Old Guard by wakingDown
This is an interesting piece about disabled veterans who wish to return to the battle. It has a nice sentiment, but misses the mark.
Where I Am Nowby wakingDownA poem from the point of view of newly diagnosed Alzheimer's patient. Very well done.

As if life was playing by sexnovellaA nice erotic love poem.

Two from Sweet Oblivion.
A Cure for City Bankers by SweetOblivionA fantasy about a hot bank teller.
Never knowing the songs by SweetOblivion
A very good "what the hell happened" lament. Well worth the read.

Write It On The Walls by weepingangel88
Weepingangel is an incredibly prolific lit author. This piece is a simple love poem made from couplets with predictable and overused rhymes, but makes up for this with delightful enthusiasm.

Stone Cold April Snow by Neonurotic A very well done piece from Neon, today's recommended read.

High School Reunion- story poem by erectus123 A nice descriptive about old friends and acquaintances. Worth the read.

My Cock is My Pistol by erectus123A man's ode to his genitals. If this were the only poem of it's type, it would still be one too many.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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Old 04-25-2013, 02:34 PM   #3634
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Thirteen new poems I’m pressed for time so will do some then return later to finish.

Retaken by xelliebabex is an audio recited by the poet. It works poetically as a spoken piece but still fails to grasp the listener. The delivery is good if a little flat, the poem itself is really nothing special.

A Sarcastic Aussie online another audio by xelliebabex and a better delivery although the uneven beat is more glaring here. It’s an amusing piece and an original idea for the subject.

Song for a Muse by doowopdoowop is voyeurism for the ears, poetry only in the broadest sense. I can’t really make a sensible comment but if listening to pornographic suggestions and a male jacking off then this is for you.

Repetition by wakingDown is a form poem but I’m not sure what form it is. WD has taken three lines and repeated them. It’s a clever idea but has little emotional content; even so I like it for the originality.

Awake/Asleep by waking Down left me wondering why…..why the paranoia, why the violence, why the fear. It’s either TMI or not enough. Some nice lines, “Dreamscapes of laughing slaughter” and “Skitter through life whimpering” among them.

Societal tumor,
wakingDown’s final one today is another bitter hit at his world. There is some dodgy rhyming - ( kindness/virus and assault/result) but that could be an accent or language thing. A nice use of language.


P.S. It seems Bronzeage and I are voices in the wilderness - come on folks, ante-up!
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Old 04-25-2013, 11:51 PM   #3635
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Back to finish off what I started……

Fake it until you make it by weepingangel88, “making “what? We’re never told, success at work? Success in relationships? Success at writing poetry? A nice enough poem but bland. Wa has written better.

Crack In The Dark by Cmay is graphic Sapphic fun. It would be far more powerful as free-verse. Cmay has a good eye but verse like this makes passion seem jokey.

Boulder City
by cavu181 is a narrative poem, again, free-verse suits this type of poem better than verse. The poet distorts or distracts while a rhyme is found, often forced (I’ve been there, believe me. Cmay’s story was interesting enough to hold me until the end so If you prefer doggerel this is for you.

Ashesh9 has a short, multi-capitalized piece (just his style, man) about time – ou temps et change and there are some re-submitted poems that appeared late.
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Old 04-26-2013, 04:10 PM   #3636
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Recommendations - Friday April 26

Very sorry I missed last week.

Lots of poems today. These are the ones that grabbed my attention or confused me:

Oneiria Yeti Monk: I don't really understand this, but I am recommending it anyway, because in two sentences Oneiria managed to get me to think. Some of the other poems here do not manage that in 35 lines or more. Why would a Yeti be a monk? Screaming in loneliness?

Skinnyboy38:Depression : Aside from a typo, I quite liked this one, especially the beginning of it with the repeated end words. It is understandable, something that many of the poems today were not (at least for me).

EelunPhetmoore Her Reflection In the Mirror There is potential in this one, even if the subject is a bit fairy tale. I liked the use of color.

Harry Hill Falling into Randy. Randy as an adjective, a male, a female? I have no idea. I'd like to read people's comments on this. I will leave my own.

susansnow Taking Advantage This sounds like something Samuel Delaney would write. Worth it for the WTH?? factor.
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Old 04-27-2013, 12:47 AM   #3637
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Ockham's razor

Quote:
Originally Posted by Desejo View Post
Harry Hill Falling into Randy. Randy as an adjective, a male, a female? I have no idea. I'd like to read people's comments on this.
Forget about Randy (just a random noise). Otherwise the poem is simple: the author, due to his prostate problem, has a strong urge to pee. All those similes in the poem are the result of his burning need.

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Old 04-30-2013, 03:06 PM   #3638
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Animalized by thecummingman
Comments on haiku are superfluous.

S&M Night Before Christmas by WitchOfSwordsThe Night Before Christmas maybe the most parodied poem in the English language. The real question is why is this one here in April?

Intoxicating by SweetOblivion
A sweet piece by SweetOblivion. We need more like this.

Bill's Gaffe by Ashesh9
Socio-political commentary from Ashesh.

Let's...by Butterflies512
This is a true love poem and today's recommended read.

Hate Me Then by MySecretSide A cathartic piece by a new Lit poet, which reminds us, money can't buy love and always count your change before leaving the window.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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Old 05-01-2013, 12:42 PM   #3639
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May 1,2013

It's May!

Thought I'd do a drive-by recommendation mainly because you must not miss this poem:

Spring, from demure101, a lovely homage to the season that manages to be simultaneously personal, sweet and unsettling: in other words, a really good poem.

There's a host of other new poems, good ones both erotic and non, so go read them and leave some feedback.

This is just one opinion: jump in with your own recommendation(s) if you are so moved.
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Old 05-01-2013, 08:29 PM   #3640
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First off, yes, Spring by demure101 is a poem that should absolutely be read.
One Day by Lostdriver1964 - A feel good stroll through what may be with a soft sadness
Where are you, Mr. Wong? by erectus123 - A large nicely rambling romp about life's surprises
Eyes Open by Hlovestoread - Clear self appraisal and acceptance, a confirmation that is a delight to read
Memories by LexiRoseLexi - A well laid out, touching letter that seems will never be sent
Collar by Laurielle - A lean declaration of dominance
Seasonal Discordance by cavu182 - As clean and clear as the Northern skies

Some excellent poetry today, a pleasure to read through. Sorry this is going up a little late today, been busy. Keep up the wonderful work folks, we will keep enjoying it.
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Old 05-03-2013, 10:15 PM   #3641
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Friday May 3 New poem recommendations

Placeholder...I will be back later to do this, just no time right now.
There are only a few, so I suggest you take a look at all of them, and comment!!
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Old 05-04-2013, 01:54 PM   #3642
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A new and interesting poet here
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Old 05-06-2013, 09:10 AM   #3643
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New Poems

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new and interesting
New and interesting reading on 5th May?

Reading new poems
I briefly wondered whether
anyone knows if
the dragon man is
making the bald men weep now?

Does a murderess
make everybody
hurt on face fuck book Sunday?
When hot, thick Summer
comes, will someone do me up,
cowboy?

Aspiring
poets might tell tales,
for some thirty seven years,
after May the fifth;
But I'm smiling (just)
and reading the new poems,
as I still wonder.
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Old 05-07-2013, 04:00 PM   #3644
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Recognition by wakingDown

A very good short piece about self identity from wakingDown.

Butterfly by demure101
Haiku from demure.

Face Fuck Book #43 by erectus123
I suppose a poem should not be judged by it's title, but that is no reason to disregard sense when naming a poem. This piece is quite interesting, despite the promise of 42 previous face fuck poems.


There are two pieces from Sweet Oblivion. Both are well worth the read. I hope the first is cathartic therapy.
Past Pain by SweetOblivion


Perdition's Promise by SweetOblivion

The Canonized Nightmares by case28
An interesting piece from case28. Worth the read.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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Old 05-09-2013, 01:26 AM   #3645
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counting...
byskinnyboy38 is a nice look at a fun evening.
Face Fuck Book #115
byerectus123, a good read, if a little unsettling. Not a bad thing in my book.
Visiting Hour # 2
bydemure101 really speaks to me. I enjoy it quite a bit.
Whispers
bydemure101, a wonderful sense of longing and loss.
Funnel of life
byalexcarr, a simple and strong declaration of love.
Mary Cassatt at Home
byerectus123 clearly displays the surprises life has with an heirloom.
light house
byskinnyboy38 is something that I will be reading again and again.
His Words Melt Her Heart
byLolita_Slut is a sweet little moment of feel-good that will probably brighten your day.
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Old 05-09-2013, 06:47 PM   #3646
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His Words Melt Her Heart
byLolita_Slut is a sweet little moment of feel-good that will probably brighten your day.
AWWW. Thank you. It's my first poem. I wanted it to be happy and bright. xxLolita
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Old 05-11-2013, 08:43 PM   #3647
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Friday Reviews, May 10. Better late than never...

Seven (7) poets with numbers in their names today:

todski28:A Night Remembered Gets points for sheer endurance, over 35 couplets. I lost track after that. Some of the rhymes are forced but the bigger issue is that the material is predictable.

todski28: Delight another poem made up of a long string of couplets, on coupling.

Bigred24:[url="http://www.literotica.com/p/adventure-under-the-stars"]Adventure under the Stars[/URL] is another long one, with similar issues. Not couplets this time, and no rhyme. But long and predictable.

erectus123: Rupert Phife Storypoemis a story poem in one long stanza.
and
Face Fuck Book 29 which is more manageable.Have there been face fuck book 1-28 too? Did I miss that?

cavu182: The Bug I quite liked this. Clear, coherent, structured. A nice tale. This is the the first poem I recommend for today.

Dontblink88: When the Question is Asked is another long one stanza poem, a tribute to Dr.Who..Gets points for geekiness and amusement value. Check it out.

Engyma55: Perspective walks a precarious path between greeting card and more. The physical layout of the poem is an unusual touch.

dontblink88 http://"http://www.literotica.com/p/...f Tears</font> has some painful spelling issues....

And two (2) non-numbered poets:
MindControlFun Body Focus feels a bit like being in one of those deep relaxation classes, which may have been the sought effect.

Moonstruck_soul: Varity has the merit of not being predictable in content, but that said I am not really sure what it is about. Snakes in aspics?
and
Holding Onwhich is clearer, but has structural issues.
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Old 05-14-2013, 03:40 PM   #3648
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Casterbation by jddesir
This is a first poem submission by a new Lit poet. Maybe this piece could be called a very long haiku. It reads like the storyboard for a movie trailer, a lot of fast cuts and the reader is left with little.

Hands by susansnow
A clever stream of consciousness style piece. An interesting read.

Squeeze My Balls by erectus123I seldom give advice on poetry, unless asked, and then very generously. In this case, I will make an exception. The first line of this poem repeats the title and the second line is the single adverb, "softly". The order should be reversed, or something terrible could happen.

Desert Decision by cavu182
An interesting narrative set in couplets. Although some of the rhymes are clumsy, it is worth the read.

Arise , Awake & Engorge !! by Ashesh9A man speaks to his penis.

My Run by partyfairy
A quick narrative of this morning's exercise.

Reward for a b-job well done. by Tristesse2
A very nice erotic piece from Tristesse.

Slow and Deliberate by Quivering_QuillSpare descriptive of oral sex.

Akara by BttrflyWngs

This is a very ambitious piece and perhaps wasted on Lit. A fantasy epic, maybe a little shorter than an epic, but still today's recommended read.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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Old 05-15-2013, 03:44 AM   #3649
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Quote:
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Squeeze My Balls by erectus123I seldom give advice on poetry, unless asked, and then very generously. In this case, I will make an exception. The first line of this poem repeats the title and the second line is the single adverb, "softly". The order should be reversed, or something terrible could happen.
Great comment! :-)
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Old 05-21-2013, 03:58 PM   #3650
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You by KYCunnilinguist

A nice straightforward love poem. We need more like this.

Theresa by ProfessorPlums
A nice cadence in this piece.

Face Fuck Book #53 by erectus123
Face Fuck Book #49 by erectus123
More installments in the Face Fuck Book series. Collect them all.

haiku dare you by todski28
Obligatory
haiku commentary in
syllable format.

At Sea by dontblink88
The ocean as metaphor for life.

We have three submissions from lawrobbur, today. All three are a recommended read.
Debauchery Display by lawrobbur
Keeping My Man Mine by lawrobbur
Pleasantly Perverse by lawrobbur


There are two submissions from Kitten1964. The first is a narrative of outdoor sex and the second asks what is perhaps the second oldest question in the history of love.
http://www.literotica.com/p/pleasantly-perverse
Looking At Myself by kitten1964
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Lesbian Schoolgirl Enema Bondage, Something for everyone.
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Quote:
Originally posted by LostBaby
My beloved is perfect. He is strong, smart, well read, can & will do anything, tender, and totally adores me. The only thing that could make him better is if he was freak'n wealthy beyond words.
On the floor of a small room near the city wall, they found the source of the many fragments of wisdom this civilization had left the world.http://bronzeageworks.blogspot.com/
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