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Old 05-05-2013, 01:29 AM   #1
JackLuis
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Did you know that May is masturbation Month?

You will never be rejected by your own hands,
so celebrate National Masturbation Month.

Quote:
Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders was fired by Bill Clinton for responding to a question about masturbation at a UN conference, “I think that is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught” in the context of sex education classes. Ironically, the president never had intercourse with Monica Lewinsky, but rather, she testified, after she performed incomplete fellatio, he would masturbate into the sink in the Oval Office bathroom, not to mention ejaculating onto her blue dress.
Try not to stain a dress Litsters.

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The month of May is not only National Masturbation Month. It has also been designated as Teen Pregnancy Prevention Month. Isn’t it encouraging when different causes can work together with such perfect symbiosis? And always remember that you will never be rejected by your own hand.
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Old 05-05-2013, 03:19 AM   #2
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Cool

It's much more fun when I get to watch, or be watched.

I don't think anyone really needs to be taught how to masturbate. Instead, we should teach that masturbation isn't either sinful or harmful, and thus remove the stigma associated with it.
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Old 05-05-2013, 03:23 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slyc_willie View Post
It's much more fun when I get to watch, or be watched.

I don't think anyone really needs to be taught how to masturbate. Instead, we should teach that masturbation isn't either sinful or harmful, and thus remove the stigma associated with it.
Good Point, Willie.
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Old 05-05-2013, 04:49 AM   #4
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I thought of a good title, but no story.

"Willie Wankers of the World, Unite!
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Old 05-05-2013, 02:35 PM   #5
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Quote:
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I thought of a good title, but no story.

"Willie Wankers of the World, Unite!
What a stroke of genius!!!!

Pardon the crappy pun.
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Old 05-05-2013, 03:10 PM   #6
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So, I'm supposed to masturbate more? Don't know if that's possible.
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Old 05-05-2013, 07:25 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by soflabbwlvr View Post
So, I'm supposed to masturbate more? Don't know if that's possible.
According to the article a guy did it for nine hours! He must have used a quart of Astroglide.
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Old 05-05-2013, 07:33 PM   #8
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I suppose I could find a few minutes somewhere this month. Maybe, that is.
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Old 05-05-2013, 07:35 PM   #9
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Are you telling me it has been May since August of 1995? That's what I heard at least...
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Old 05-05-2013, 10:05 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by slyc_willie View Post
It's much more fun when I get to watch, or be watched.

I don't think anyone really needs to be taught how to masturbate. Instead, we should teach that masturbation isn't either sinful or harmful, and thus remove the stigma associated with it.

I totally agree.


And by the way, isn't every month masturbation month? If not, I'm doing it wrong.
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Old 05-05-2013, 11:39 PM   #11
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I love Masturbation Month, because even when I forget about it, I still celebrate!
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Old 05-05-2013, 11:46 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MistressLynn View Post
I suppose I could find a few minutes somewhere this month. Maybe, that is.


This make me gigglesnort. I came here to post: I will have to carve time out of my busy schedule...
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Old 05-06-2013, 02:07 AM   #13
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So if May is Masturbation Month, is June Carpal Tunnel month?
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Yea though I walk through the Valley of The Shadow of Death I shall fear no evil, for I am the baddest motherfucker in the valley.

The only reason some people are alive is because it is illegal to kill them.

Why do you like playing around with my narrow scope of reality?.

Every day sends future to past. Every breath leaves me one less to my last.

"You are in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history." - Robin Williams "Good Morning Vietnam"

We'll know for the first time, if we're evil or divine; We're the last in line.

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Old 05-06-2013, 03:46 AM   #14
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What! Every May? Won't that make me blind?
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Old 05-06-2013, 04:05 AM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SamScribble View Post
What! Every May? Won't that make me blind?
Sorry, can you type in a bigger font...?
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Old 05-06-2013, 05:10 AM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steve44uk View Post
Sorry, can you type in a bigger font...?
What was that?
I cannot hear you!
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Old 05-07-2013, 01:49 AM   #17
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So that's what the May pole is for...
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Old 05-07-2013, 01:52 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
So that's what the May pole is for...
Sorry I didn't hear you.

I was 'decorating' my May pole.
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:03 AM   #19
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So that's what the May pole is for...
You gonna dance round it...?
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:17 AM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JackLuis View Post
Sorry I didn't hear you.

I was 'decorating' my May pole.
Quote:
Originally Posted by steve44uk View Post
You gonna dance round it...?
Apparently, I struck a...nerve? LOL

Kind of reminds me of that old pop song..."I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key..."
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:33 AM   #21
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Originally Posted by NekoParks View Post
Apparently, I struck a...nerve? LOL

Kind of reminds me of that old pop song..."I got a brand new pair of roller skates, you got a brand new key..."
I'm sorry, did you say something? I was distracted, admiring your... purse...
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:40 AM   #22
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Quote:
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I'm sorry, did you say something? I was distracted, admiring your... purse...
I read your post aloud while holding my tongue like a fifth grader....Then I beat the bishop like a freshman.
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Yea though I walk through the Valley of The Shadow of Death I shall fear no evil, for I am the baddest motherfucker in the valley.

The only reason some people are alive is because it is illegal to kill them.

Why do you like playing around with my narrow scope of reality?.

Every day sends future to past. Every breath leaves me one less to my last.

"You are in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history." - Robin Williams "Good Morning Vietnam"

We'll know for the first time, if we're evil or divine; We're the last in line.

You don't need luck when you don't give a fuck!!

Here is my "AH Profile"

Here is a link to my stories "Saxon's Shit"

See what I'm "up to" here.
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Old 05-07-2013, 03:05 AM   #23
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I read your post aloud while holding my tongue like a fifth grader....Then I beat the bishop like a freshman.
I didn't know you were religious...
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Old 05-07-2013, 11:19 AM   #24
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I didn't know you were religious...
Prolly just the way he keeps saying, "Oh god... Oh, Jesus..."
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Old 05-07-2013, 02:53 PM   #25
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I didn't know you were religious...
If I had used "Waxed the Carrot" would I be a vegitarian?
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Yea though I walk through the Valley of The Shadow of Death I shall fear no evil, for I am the baddest motherfucker in the valley.

The only reason some people are alive is because it is illegal to kill them.

Why do you like playing around with my narrow scope of reality?.

Every day sends future to past. Every breath leaves me one less to my last.

"You are in more dire need of a blow job than any white man in history." - Robin Williams "Good Morning Vietnam"

We'll know for the first time, if we're evil or divine; We're the last in line.

You don't need luck when you don't give a fuck!!

Here is my "AH Profile"

Here is a link to my stories "Saxon's Shit"

See what I'm "up to" here.
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