Originally Posted by michellestein25
Well, I have tried to get him to tell me a fantasy or two...he is just very shy about it. So, I recently bought him a one piece bra/panty set and a dress. I also, updated our toy chest with a life-like dildo, a ponytail, a new bullet, some new rope and nipple clamps. He has enjoyed playing with all of these things. He also seems to be into me taking photos while he is dressed. The perplexing thing is he insists HE wants to tie ME up...but I see that he often looks at crossdresser bondage pics online. Since he looks at that -wouldn't it stand to reason that he wants ME to tie HIM up? I flat out asked him. He claims he wants to tie me up..so that is the plan tonight or tomorrow...it makes zero sense to me.....
I read your thread, and I wanted to make a few points. First, I myself am a crossdresser. I only discovered this desire over the last year or so. I've been married for 4 years, and I am so lucky... SO DAMN LUCKY to have a wife that supports me. You are a good partner to be so supportive of your husband and make efforts to explore this part of himself with him.
Well one of the reasons I married my wife is because I knew she was an open minded person. Even though I was absolutely certain she would be supportive, I did keep it a secret from my wife for months. I wanted to tell her many times that I sometimes wore her clothes when I was home alone, but it was hard. It was liberating when I finally did.
I've put tons of thought into what drives me to do it, and talked to a few people about it... One thing I am really certain about is that there are so many influences that may or may not contribute to this desire; some of those reasons I feel I am fairly certain about, while others I am unsure if they are a cause or an effect. I also suspect that my own mind is complicated beyond my comprehension, and I don't think I will ever truly understand it. I've also learned that pretty much everyone who does dabble in gender bending will do it for their own reasons, which may be very different from the next cross dresser. What I am getting to in a round-about kind of way is that I of course can give you some insight into what drives me, but I cannot say which driving factors of mine will be parallel to your husband's (if any).
I can say that exploring this part of me has at times been very confusing, and even frightening. I found it was helpful for me to talk to people online about it. Your husband may have trouble talking to you about it because he himself is uncertain, or confused. It may be easier for him to talk to someone anonymously over the internet. There are many people on this very forum who are patient, wise, and open to helping those seeking answers.
I should tell you, though, that talking about it with some people from this forum revealed within me some desires I did not know I had, and also revealed a number of possible realities I may be heading toward. Basically, I discovered that this part of myself is becoming more important, and a larger part of what I consider my personal identity. The more I explore the woman inside of me the more real she gets. A few months ago I had a mini identity crisis (Lasted all of 2 or 3 days), and I was afraid because I knew I was changing into something foreign; the knowledge that my future self is now more of a stranger to me than ever can be daunting.
My advice is to be there for him as you have been, and to be patient. Sometimes pushing to explore this facet of his personality can be stressful, confusing, and frightening, even if the outcome is a healthier understanding for both of you. You have your entire lives to figure yourselves out... and he may come to a point where he does not want to explore it any further than a sexual fetish that he doesn't really understand, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Lastly, I would like to advise you not to read too much into porn found in the browser history! I myself have searched for an wide variety of things over the years, and not all of them are good representatives of who I am or what I want. I think if he is happy with letting you fuck him up the ass with a strap-on, he won't be too shy to ask to be tied up if that is what he really wants
Feel free to PM me if you want to talk about it more, and best of luck to you and your husband.