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Old 01-22-2013, 08:58 AM   #101
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The whole condom thing is part of the liberal uplift dogma; no right thinking liberal does anything for the hell of it, whatever it is must conform to the dogma and canons.
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Old 01-22-2013, 09:07 AM   #102
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Spacefender View Post
Sorry for reviving a thread that's a bit old. However, I was directed to this thread by someone linking to it in a more recent thread. Plus, unlike most of the threads in this forum I actually have an opinion on this topic.

...
There seems to an attitude by some in this thread that writers of porn stories are morally obligated to include safe sex practices and messages in their stories "for the children". Or something like that. A pure load of a smelly brown substance that attracts flies.
Hey, Spacefender. No, we are just arguing here and in another threadpost that there is room for stories that include safe sex and that these can be a creative challenge, not at all that all stories ought to and must include safe sex.

I love lots of stories that don't have safe sex, although I write safe sex myself whenever I can.

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Old 01-22-2013, 09:15 AM   #103
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Originally Posted by NaokoSmith View Post
Hey, Spacefender. No, we are just arguing here and in another threadpost that there is room for stories that include safe sex and that these can be a creative challenge, not at all that all stories ought to and must include safe sex.

I love lots of stories that don't have safe sex, although I write safe sex myself whenever I can.


There's certainly room for stories that feature safe sex. Nothing wrong with that. I don't mean you specifically but there were a few posts that at least implied that writing about safe sex in smut stories is the moral obligation for anyone writing porny stories on the internet.

It's not something I do or will ever feel the need to do but I would never tell anyone they shouldn't write about condoms in their stories. Just the same as I'll never write a sex scene where someone whips out a ruler in the middle of the proceedings to take cock measurements but I would never tell someone they shouldn't do that in their story.

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Old 01-22-2013, 09:19 AM   #104
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Originally Posted by Spacefender View Post
There's certainly room for stories that feature safe sex. Nothing wrong with that. I don't mean you specifically but there were a few posts that at least implied that writing about safe sex in smut stories is the moral obligation for anyone writing porny stories on the internet.
We had a fun argument and I really am going to write a blogpost about it soon. I just have one on whisky I want to get out of the way! ROFL.

Cheers! (or as we erotica writers say, Bottoms Up!)
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Old 01-22-2013, 01:52 PM   #105
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There is room for all sorts of sex, with or without condoms. It is not an imperative to 'sell safe sex' in every story.

It is a very real part of our current lives though, so a mention here or there 'keeps it real'.

Kind of like lube in that it isn't "Necessary" but mentioning it can add verisimilitude to an anal engagement.

I believe if I can influence one man to use a condom and prevent an unwanted pregnancy, I will have made a contribution to the lives of at least two people.

However if I write about a cowboy in Dodge City circa 1880, he'll go bareback and like it.
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Old 01-22-2013, 01:57 PM   #106
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I'm with Spacefender on this. I include condoms in my stories more than I don't in stories dated from the 1980s on (and also have a margin where, although condoms aren't specifically mentioned, neither is nonuse). But I never use them as some sort of safe-sex advert. I don't find that the least bit erotic.
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Old 03-29-2013, 02:36 AM   #107
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Hooray! I had the condom talk with my daughter (age 9) already. Thank you, Bride and Prejudice - we were able to do this after she was curious as to what a character in the film did that was so naughty (got another character pregnant).

"If he won't put it on, tell him: talk to the hand!" <high five>.

BTW, I haven't seen Pilot for ages. Do you think I should make pancakes somewhere? I hope he's OK. I put this in here instead of Isolated Blurt in the hope of luring him out.

, Pilot. Shall I post pancakes somewhere? It's just that there's been no spam for ages.
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:24 PM   #108
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Originally Posted by NaokoSmith View Post
What are your thoughts on writing safe sex?
I so much admired the way gay men's stories often make condoms a normal part of the erotic scenes. At first I thought since I write fantasy I couldn't do it but then I thought, "Really! what kind of writer are you? See it as a creative challenge." Some of my friends said they were surprised by the condoms popping up in my fantasy world (and one wanted me to use a special herb instead which he suggested could have other properties too - yes, he is of that generation) but nobody has complained in the feedback.
I partly decided to do this because of some research I've been doing on Sex and Relationships Education. I realised that although kids (in the UK anyway) are being taught how to put a condom on a banana, they aren't being taught to have the self-confidence to say: "No, I won't do it if it's not safe." I set up a blog which I have been developing where I'm reviewing erotica which is 'safe' as a portal for young people (well, people of any age really) who want to explore but might be nervous about just plunging into the wild and wonderful world of internet stuff on sex. Here I only review stories in which safe sex is practised, as I hope in this way to encourage people to feel condom usage is normal.
What do you think?
I'd like to write a blogpost about this on my other blog where I collect thoughts on writing erotica.

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----------------------------------------------

Naoko -

I suppose I'm part of the problem. I try to include condom usage in a sex scene but let's face it this is a site where people don't let the real world intrude in their fantasies LOL.

Seriously, I've actually had people call me out in the comments for making them use birth control. Seriously.

So it's kind of a mixed bag. I like to write a lot of oral sex in my stories, so as to not need to use birth control. But I agree that it does need to be featured more often and more clearly written into a sex scene.
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Old 03-31-2013, 01:33 PM   #109
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----------------------------------------------

Naoko -

I suppose I'm part of the problem. I try to include condom usage in a sex scene but let's face it this is a site where people don't let the real world intrude in their fantasies LOL.

Seriously, I've actually had people call me out in the comments for making them use birth control. Seriously.

So it's kind of a mixed bag. I like to write a lot of oral sex in my stories, so as to not need to use birth control. But I agree that it does need to be featured more often and more clearly written into a sex scene.
My feeling is, who cares what people say in the comments?

If they don't like what you write, they can write something themselves.
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Old 04-01-2013, 02:45 AM   #110
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JohnEB, Stella - thanks for the continued comments. I really am going to write this blogpost one day soon, I should get some time when the Easter chocolate mayhem is done. I will live on chocolate sandwiches and just write for a while, LOL.

John, I recognise that there are stories where the flow will be interrupted by a condom but I also often read stories where I think, Hey, I can't believe that woman leapt into bed with a man who admitted he has slept around, and he is clearly a considerate guy, but he didn't put a condom on for her. I find it fun to try to work the condom in and see if I can get away with it. (My greatest triumph being the werewolf, of course, who has succeeded in being castigated as a disgusting filthy beast even though he is very conscientious about safe sex, ROFLMAO! Everyone was so busy commenting on how disgraceful the story was, and it put them off werewolf erotica forever, that they never mentioned the condom so I suppose we got away with it.)


Stella - love the new hat.
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Old 04-01-2013, 04:34 AM   #111
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Condoms in porn are more of the silliness that's infected writing. I think it was Samuel Goldwyn who said, "I buy stories, not messages; if you write messages take them to Western Union."
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Old 04-01-2013, 05:22 AM   #112
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Originally Posted by JAMESBJOHNSON View Post
Condoms in porn are more of the silliness that's infected writing. I think it was Samuel Goldwyn who said, "I buy stories, not messages; if you write messages take them to Western Union."
I think condoms should be included where they are a realistic part of the story, as much as they should be left out where they would intrude into the narrative. People on this thread mention that it distracts them sometimes if there's obvious mention of condoms in the story; it distracts me if it's obvious that the couple would have used one and they don't.
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Old 04-01-2013, 03:31 PM   #113
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Condoms in porn are more of the silliness that's infected writing. I think it was Samuel Goldwyn who said, "I buy stories, not messages; if you write messages take them to Western Union."
Stories without condoms send a message, too. It's just a less responsible message.
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Old 04-01-2013, 05:48 PM   #114
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Stories without condoms send a message, too. It's just a less responsible message.
LOL, that's a nice observation.
(condom wearing banana)

(Electric - You can have an avatar now! BTW, as you have over 100 posts.)
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Old 04-01-2013, 07:17 PM   #115
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Stories without condoms send a message, too. It's just a less responsible message.
Left up to you we'll all be wearing bicycle helmets and armor to bed.
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Old 04-01-2013, 07:23 PM   #116
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Simply put, to me if a story is going to use condoms than they may as well use the words penis and vagina to make it even "sexier"

In fact, they could take it a step further and have the story end with "Sorry, but I really don't know you, lets wait until we've been dating awhile."

Then we get down to it, for foreplay the woman could douche beforehand because maybe she is just off her period and self conscious

This falls under the expression fucking up a wet dream.
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Old 04-02-2013, 02:07 AM   #117
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Simply put, to me if a story is going to use condoms than they may as well use the words penis and vagina to make it even "sexier"

In fact, they could take it a step further and have the story end with "Sorry, but I really don't know you, lets wait until we've been dating awhile."

Then we get down to it, for foreplay the woman could douche beforehand because maybe she is just off her period and self conscious

This falls under the expression fucking up a wet dream.
It's not your fetish, but condoms and taking care to protect people is sexy to some. I never understand why people who argue for free speech so vehemently get so agitated about some of us occasionally writing up safe sex as fun.
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Old 04-02-2013, 02:22 AM   #118
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Cool

My current story includes condoms. It made sense to me to include them given the context of the tale. I have a couple of twin brothers, one of whom picks up a girl at a nightclub and takes her back to his hotel room. The other brother is waiting, and they switch back and forth with the girl before she finally realizes she's been fucking two guys.

For this particular story, the use of condoms makes sense. It also negates an unnecessary plot element -- semen found in the poor young woman's body once it's found -- that I don't want to deal with.

In this case, the use of condoms is in itself a plot element, in that it prevents authorities from gaining evidence before I want them to.
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Old 04-02-2013, 06:10 AM   #119
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My current story includes condoms. It made sense to me to include them given the context of the tale. I have a couple of twin brothers, one of whom picks up a girl at a nightclub and takes her back to his hotel room. The other brother is waiting, and they switch back and forth with the girl before she finally realizes she's been fucking two guys.

For this particular story, the use of condoms makes sense. It also negates an unnecessary plot element -- semen found in the poor young woman's body once it's found -- that I don't want to deal with.

In this case, the use of condoms is in itself a plot element, in that it prevents authorities from gaining evidence before I want them to.
True. Otherwise the inclusion of anything that isn't part of the plot is a political message.
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Old 04-06-2013, 04:49 PM   #120
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I thought this thread was dead by now. But I do have one remark:

For a male audience, I can see the reasoning behind the no-condoms thing. It's just fantasy, after all, and in fantasy worlds, nobody gets diseases, and nobody gets pregnant unless they want to.

I suppose this holds true for some sorts of female audiences. Romance novels take place in a similar fantasy world. But when I started reading erotica, those fantasy worlds didn't work for me. So when I started writing erotica, I wrote what I wanted to read - -people being sexually active in a more realistic world -- in the hopes that there were more women (and maybe even men) out there like me who wanted to read that sort of thing.

And, as I've stated elsewhere, a great deal of my ability to enjoy a sexual encounter comes from the knowledge that I won't get pregnant or catch some sort of disease. I suspect that's true for most women. And if my writing is to be realistic, it must reflect that truth.

This isn't to say that everybody else has to write that way. Fantasy has its place. It's just not what I want to read, or to write.
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Old 04-06-2013, 05:39 PM   #121
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I've done it both ways. It depends on the context of the story. The first story I wrote involved a man fucking a stripper, and I couldn't justify an absence of condoms. And even if I did use condoms, it's a short mention and it doesn't dominate the story.

If the whole story is simply male fantasy and makes no apologies about it, I never even mention the word "condom." (And since it's pretty much unabashed fantasy, the male leads are hung like stallions, the women are gorgeous, adventurous, and very bisexual, and everyone performs at 100% every time.)
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Old 04-06-2013, 07:12 PM   #122
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I thought this thread was dead by now. But I do have one remark:

For a male audience, I can see the reasoning behind the no-condoms thing. It's just fantasy, after all, and in fantasy worlds, nobody gets diseases, and nobody gets pregnant unless they want to.

I suppose this holds true for some sorts of female audiences. Romance novels take place in a similar fantasy world. But when I started reading erotica, those fantasy worlds didn't work for me. So when I started writing erotica, I wrote what I wanted to read - -people being sexually active in a more realistic world -- in the hopes that there were more women (and maybe even men) out there like me who wanted to read that sort of thing.

And, as I've stated elsewhere, a great deal of my ability to enjoy a sexual encounter comes from the knowledge that I won't get pregnant or catch some sort of disease. I suspect that's true for most women. And if my writing is to be realistic, it must reflect that truth.

This isn't to say that everybody else has to write that way. Fantasy has its place. It's just not what I want to read, or to write.
Thank you. That is so well stated.

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Old 04-06-2013, 07:23 PM   #123
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Thank you. That is so well stated.

And the extrapolation from that is that there are others who want to read the fantasy sans condoms, so we'll just let them without telling them what they should read and write, right?
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Old 04-06-2013, 08:18 PM   #124
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I so much admired the way gay men's stories often make condoms a normal part of the erotic scenes.
I'd like to drag NaokoSmith back to this in OP, if possible. In light of what Athalia posted (which made sense to me), are you sure that these were gay male authors of these stories? I think chances are good that these were female authors writing gay stories and reacting from a female, not a gay male, perspective. I've never met a gay male who indicated that condoms would be part of a fantasy for him or who did not realize that these stories were fantasy for arousal for an orgasm, not a clinical study.
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Old 04-06-2013, 09:49 PM   #125
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And the extrapolation from that is that there are others who want to read the fantasy sans condoms, so we'll just let them without telling them what they should read and write, right?
I'll be damned if I can figure out why my opinions have so much moral force for you, that you have to kick at my shins like a little kid being told to wash his hands.

I suppose it's a compliment in a way. Something strikes a note?

Or else, you've just paid too much attention to me for your own good. I should not be this important to you.

Or, reading back, you're blaming me for a lot of things other people have said, not me. Which might also be complementary, if it's Naoko.
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I think chances are good that these were female authors writing gay stories and reacting from a female, not a gay male, perspective. I've never met a gay male who indicated that condoms would be part of a fantasy for him
This I believe.
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