the last straw

[Doubledribble]

Thank you to all who have been supportive. I appreciate each of you.

[englishgent73]

Originally Posted by JennyNo1

Awww. Isn't that awful? Yes, let's hear about the WHOLE story. How many online affairs, played out in public? How many women have you told "as soon as I find the right woman, I'll leave my wife?" How many personal ads have been placed? Your story sounds VERY familiar. I wonder why?

Oh, so it is possible to be cynical AND naive. I thought Lit was a refuge from those who judge too easily?

[pfflyerhot]

Best of luck to you, man. Nothing personal, here... to anyone's particular situation, nor do I side one way or another, nor do I don't need to hear all the gory details and reasons, of which I know there are many, varied and even valid ones out there. Only you know what works for you, whether you are happy or not. It's refreshing to hear someone talk about taking responsibility for their own happiness. Part of that responsibility is communicating your needs, desires and thoughts to your partner. If you can't do that anymore, openly and without hostility and blame... Or, worse, if you exist in a relationship of passivity, void of intimacy and human compassion of any kind... All the while professing love. (Geez. A tad obvious I didn't enjoy that kind of existence, huh? Luckily I figured it out early on) Generally, when my life becomes a difficult place for me to live in... things just don't magically "get better" at some point. I have to make an effort to make things better, myself... You know?

[Doubledribble]

Originally Posted by englishgent73

Oh, so it is possible to be cynical AND naive. I thought Lit was a refuge from those who judge too easily?

Exactly. Thanks for having my back

[Doubledribble]

Originally Posted by pfflyerhot

Best of luck to you, man. Nothing personal, here... to anyone's particular situation, nor do I side one way or another, nor do I don't need to hear all the gory details and reasons, of which I know there are many, varied and even valid ones out there. Only you know what works for you, whether you are happy or not. It's refreshing to hear someone talk about taking responsibility for their own happiness. Part of that responsibility is communicating your needs, desires and thoughts to your partner. If you can't do that anymore, openly and without hostility and blame... Or, worse, if you exist in a relationship of passivity, void of intimacy and human compassion of any kind... All the while professing love. (Geez. A tad obvious I didn't enjoy that kind of existence, huh? Luckily I figured it out early on) Generally, when my life becomes a difficult place for me to live in... things just don't magically "get better" at some point. I have to make an effort to make things better, myself... You know?

I do know and am moving on. I need to find my own happiness.

Thank you

[yossariankat]

Best of luck to the both of you finding some contentment and joy for yourselves.

[Doubledribble]

Originally Posted by yossariankat

Best of luck to the both of you finding some contentment and joy for yourselves.

Thank you dear lady (interesting avatar)

[pyrat]

Originally Posted by pfflyerhot

Best of luck to you, man. Nothing personal, here... to anyone's particular situation, nor do I side one way or another, nor do I don't need to hear all the gory details and reasons, of which I know there are many, varied and even valid ones out there. Only you know what works for you, whether you are happy or not. It's refreshing to hear someone talk about taking responsibility for their own happiness. Part of that responsibility is communicating your needs, desires and thoughts to your partner. If you can't do that anymore, openly and without hostility and blame... Or, worse, if you exist in a relationship of passivity, void of intimacy and human compassion of any kind... All the while professing love. (Geez. A tad obvious I didn't enjoy that kind of existence, huh? Luckily I figured it out early on) Generally, when my life becomes a difficult place for me to live in... things just don't magically "get better" at some point. I have to make an effort to make things better, myself... You know?

Agree completely!

[Discreet61NEOH]

Hi DD,

I understand a bit ( been like over 3 months with my wife ). If it is not in too bad taste, I have a little joke that might make you smile. Here goes it:


There was a sex convention going on. It is the start and the moderator takes the stage. He begins with a question.

'I want to take a survey. How many people here have sex more that 3 times a week ?' A large number raise their hands.

Then he proceeds on to twice a week, once a week, once every two weeks, once a month, and so on. Finally he gets to once a year.

At that point this little man in the back starts jumping up and down excitedly yelling 'ME ME ME !!!!"

The moderator in a snotty voice says ' Sir, how can you possibly be excited about only having sex once a year ? '

To which the little man yells: 'Because tonight's the NIGHT !!!'

Good Luck and best wishes !

[Doubledribble]

Lol..
so true....thank you

[southern_gal]

Originally Posted by JennyNo1

*edit* my point is made, and apologies to those who thought I was judging people in general.

I was reading through this thread and feeling genuine sorrow for the OP. I cannot imagine having to walk away from my husband who I have been with for over 15 years let alone 30 years. But alas the plot has thickened. There is a thread asking if you would sleep with a married person. Just this morning the OP of this thread posted in that thread and said YES. He also admitted that he had in fact slept with a married person. So this begs the question that someone else raised. How many times did the wife suffer this indignity before she came to the conclusion that it was her last straw?

[Discreet61NEOH]

Originally Posted by southern_gal

I was reading through this thread and feeling genuine sorrow for the OP. I cannot imagine having to walk away from my husband who I have been with for over 15 years let alone 30 years. But alas the plot has thickened. There is a thread asking if you would sleep with a married person. Just this morning the OP of this thread posted in that thread and said YES. He also admitted that he had in fact slept with a married person. So this begs the question that someone else raised. How many times did the wife suffer this indignity before she came to the conclusion that it was her last straw?

Well there is an old joke that goes : ' The definition of ADULTERY is two wrong people doing the right thing ! '

Good luck to all !

[Doubledribble]

Originally Posted by southern_gal

I was reading through this thread and feeling genuine sorrow for the OP. I cannot imagine having to walk away from my husband who I have been with for over 15 years let alone 30 years. But alas the plot has thickened. There is a thread asking if you would sleep with a married person. Just this morning the OP of this thread posted in that thread and said YES. He also admitted that he had in fact slept with a married person. So this begs the question that someone else raised. How many times did the wife suffer this indignity before she came to the conclusion that it was her last straw?

No. not where you tread in others relationships. Did you ask yourself why? For every indrescretion there is a reason why. It could be lust or envy. It could be just that the other is not taken care of at home.... You read too much into posts and judge others without understanding....or at least the common courtesy of asking them about how they feel privately.
This is the one down side of LIt...the judgement of others who are ignorant to your situation.

If you want to know more...just really ask.....privately or on the boards. You are an ass with an opinion and nothing more. Care for others and you care for yourself.

[southern_gal]

Originally Posted by Doubledribble

No. not where you tread in others relationships. Did you ask yourself why? For every indrescretion there is a reason why. It could be lust or envy. It could be just that the other is not taken care of at home.... You read too much into posts and judge others without understanding....or at least the common courtesy of asking them about how they feel privately.
This is the one down side of LIt...the judgement of others who are ignorant to your situation.

If you want to know more...just really ask.....privately or on the boards. You are an ass with an opinion and nothing more. Care for others and you care for yourself.

Oh cry me a river. You shit all over your wife by cheating on her to say nothing of proudly boasting that you have in fact slept with another married woman (wonder how her husband feels?) and yet you want pity for your own wife having nothing to do with you? Yeah I really need you to explain that one to me huh?

[LadyVer]

I'm not going to cast blame here as I haven't seen the op's other posts and usually there's a lot more going on when someone strays than just wanting to cheat for the sake of cheating.

It would be nice if life were clear cut, black and white, but it's not. People stay in marriages for all kinds of reasons. Some cheat for all kinds of reasons. Some brag for all kinds of reasons.

When I get bored I go over to the the married and miserable threads to read comments. It keeps me humble. I don't know what's worse, being single with no sex or married with no sex. Some commenters in the the threads refuse to cheat, some have tried it and it's made them more miserable, some refuse to consider divorce and some tried cheating and it brought something positive. I'm not judging. But I do do know what it's like to be in relationships where the partner refuses to have sex, and it's the loneliest, most rejecting feeling in the world.

PS I'm not looking for a hookup. (Just sayin). Don't want any pm's over this as I've gotten a few pm's from strangers over recent comments. I was stumped over what to say to a stranger in a pm yesterday when his pm only said he prefers ducks over mice.

[southern_gal]

What if he had preferred mice over ducks?

[LadyVer]

Originally Posted by southern_gal

What if he had preferred mice over ducks?

Good question. I tried to find out what comment he saw of mine because I stay invisible on Lit, but he didn't want to say. I can only guess.

[TheTemptresss]

Our upbringing generally tends to make us regard monogamy and fidelity as good and polyamory and infidelity as bad. But this is learned behaviour. Most animal species do not understand this concept and still work out their lives fine.

As LadyVer said, there is little that is black and white in life. Unless you are in the situation, you cannot judge, and even then you can only judge from your own point of view.

[E_Dantes]

Originally Posted by TheTemptresss

Our upbringing generally tends to make us regard monogamy and fidelity as good and polyamory and infidelity as bad. But this is learned behaviour. Most animal species do not understand this concept and still work out their lives fine.

As LadyVer said, there is little that is black and white in life. Unless you are in the situation, you cannot judge, and even then you can only judge from your own point of view.

One of the great truths I have found in life is that marriage takes 2 people. I don't care what type of marriage you want to have whether same sex or the more conventional, it takes 2 people. When it reaches it's conclusion, it also takes 2 people to recognize that it has, and then there is a choice to make as to HOW to end it.

For me, I simply chose to end the same way we began....as friends. I have been told by numerous women to go back to my wife because I am still in love with her, and the fact of the matter is I do love her.....enough to let her get on with her life and to keep the promise I made when we started and that is to always be her friend.

Remember....this is a person you once told you loved them....love them enough to let it go in a dignified manner.

[Isana]

Originally Posted by LadyVer

I'm not going to cast blame here as I haven't seen the op's other posts and usually there's a lot more going on when someone strays than just wanting to cheat for the sake of cheating.

It would be nice if life were clear cut, black and white, but it's not. People stay in marriages for all kinds of reasons. Some cheat for all kinds of reasons. Some brag for all kinds of reasons.

When I get bored I go over to the the married and miserable threads to read comments. It keeps me humble. I don't know what's worse, being single with no sex or married with no sex. Some commenters in the the threads refuse to cheat, some have tried it and it's made them more miserable, some refuse to consider divorce and some tried cheating and it brought something positive. I'm not judging. But I do do know what it's like to be in relationships where the partner refuses to have sex, and it's the loneliest, most rejecting feeling in the world.

PS I'm not looking for a hookup. (Just sayin). Don't want any pm's over this as I've gotten a few pm's from strangers over recent comments. I was stumped over what to say to a stranger in a pm yesterday when his pm only said he prefers ducks over mice.

LadyVer, I love you.

No, I'm not looking for a hookup. Just expressing my admiration for your post.