The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[steve44uk]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get diagnosed with terminal mimesis.

I put in a Viceroy Butterfly...

.... And a tsunami engulfed you.

I put in Frank N Furter...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by steve44uk

.... And a tsunami engulfed you.

I put in Frank N Furter...

and you get a frozen Meat Loaf.

I put in a dark and stormy night...

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by steve44uk

.... And a tsunami engulfed you.

I put in Frank N Furter...

But it's indigestible.


I put in an 18th dimension

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

But it's indigestible.


I put in an 18th dimension

and you get a birdiebefore heading to the clubhouse.

I put in a pan galactic gargle blaster...

[steve44uk]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you get a birdiebefore heading to the clubhouse.

I put in a pan galactic gargle blaster...

... but the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon VI drinks it while you're not looking.

I put in an Improbability Drive...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by steve44uk

... but the triple-breasted whore of Eroticon VI drinks it while you're not looking.

I put in an Improbability Drive...

and ended up somewhere you weren't going but needed to be anyway.

I put in a soulful tea cake...

[steve44uk]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and ended up somewhere you weren't going but needed to be anyway.

I put in a soulful tea cake...

.... which came in handy during the long, dark tea-time of the soul.

I put in an aspidistra...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by steve44uk

.... which came in handy during the long, dark tea-time of the soul.

I put in an aspidistra...

and you're listed in the Guiness Book of Records for having the biggest aspidistra in the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XROMw3Z4e0

I put in three ladies from Castleford...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etvjzVVfBa4

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and you're listed in the Guiness Book of Records for having the biggest aspidistra in the world.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6XROMw3Z4e0

I put in three ladies from Castleford...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=etvjzVVfBa4

[he really was bloody good.]


and the machine vanishes in a puff of acrid smoke.



I put in the ghost of Henry Morgan

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

[he really was bloody good.]


and the machine vanishes in a puff of acrid smoke.



I put in the ghost of Henry Morgan

But he's pissed off because people keep mistaking him for Harry Morgan.



I put in a M*A*S*H unit.

[steve44uk]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

But he's pissed off because people keep mistaking him for Harry Morgan.



I put in a M*A*S*H unit.

... but "Hotlips" Houlihan turns you down.

I put in a bagatelle...

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by steve44uk

... but "Hotlips" Houlihan turns you down.

I put in a bagatelle...

But there's no tellin' what's in the bag.


I put in a sneezing nun.

[steve44uk]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

But there's no tellin' what's in the bag.


I put in a sneezing nun.

... so I blow her nose on her wimple.

I put in the Lindisfarne Gospels...

[stickygirl]

Originally Posted by steve44uk

... so I blow her nose on her wimple.

I put in the Lindisfarne Gospels...

But the tide came in and the ink smudged

I put in a cheeky Anthropologist

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by stickygirl

But the tide came in and the ink smudged

I put in a cheeky Anthropologist

[there's pause in acute sadness for the loss of an irreplaceable book]



Who gets chucked into the sea.



I put in a forme

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

[there's pause in acute sadness for the loss of an irreplaceable book]



Who gets chucked into the sea.



I put in a forme

But Frommer's says to avoid it like the plague.

I put in the plague.

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

But Frommer's says to avoid it like the plague.

I put in the plague.

And everyone puts on their Camus masks and begin the dance of the red death.

I put in a man who wakes up as a cockroach...

[Dianthus]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

And everyone puts on their Camus masks and begin the dance of the red death.

I put in a man who wakes up as a cockroach...

And the hearing-impaired wait staff bring you a plate of kofta.


I put in potted crocuses.

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Dianthus

And the hearing-impaired wait staff bring you a plate of kofta.


I put in potted crocuses.

and you spend the afternoon with a notable poet.

Here's the link for the article quoted http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~hbr/issu...s/kunitz.shtml

He sits in front of the window, cutting a small figure in a large chair, at such a distance from the door that we might well have entered the throne room of an aged king. And adding to the pomp of the occasion, we have come with potted flowers held in front of us like candles, crocuses and grape hyacinths, tokens of the spring that has taken root outside. But as we sit down beside the man and he examines our offerings, one at a time, the absurd ceremony of the scene disappears altogether. The veins in his hands are navy blue and fork decisively around his knuckles like rivers. The skin on his wrist is freckled and mottled and wrinkled in shallow ridges, as though rain had carved them out of a hillside. The introduction to his Collected Poems ends, "I dream of an art so transparent that you can look through it and see the world." We thought to bring nature to the artist, but we had only brought nature back to nature. He closes his eyes to smell the flowers, opens them slowly, nods his approval.

A few months shy of his hundred-and-first birthday, Stanley Kunitz sits at the head of the table of American letters, and not by the right of seniority alone...

Along with flowers we have brought questions, questions clumped in notebooks like pebbles in a pouch: Why do you say that being a poet in this age is itself a political action?

I put in Keb Mo blues song...

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

and you spend the afternoon with a notable poet.

Here's the link for the article quoted http://www.hcs.harvard.edu/~hbr/issu...s/kunitz.shtml

He sits in front of the window, cutting a small figure in a large chair, at such a distance from the door that we might well have entered the throne room of an aged king. And adding to the pomp of the occasion, we have come with potted flowers held in front of us like candles, crocuses and grape hyacinths, tokens of the spring that has taken root outside. But as we sit down beside the man and he examines our offerings, one at a time, the absurd ceremony of the scene disappears altogether. The veins in his hands are navy blue and fork decisively around his knuckles like rivers. The skin on his wrist is freckled and mottled and wrinkled in shallow ridges, as though rain had carved them out of a hillside. The introduction to his Collected Poems ends, "I dream of an art so transparent that you can look through it and see the world." We thought to bring nature to the artist, but we had only brought nature back to nature. He closes his eyes to smell the flowers, opens them slowly, nods his approval.

A few months shy of his hundred-and-first birthday, Stanley Kunitz sits at the head of the table of American letters, and not by the right of seniority alone...

Along with flowers we have brought questions, questions clumped in notebooks like pebbles in a pouch: Why do you say that being a poet in this age is itself a political action?

I put in Keb Mo blues song...

and being sad never felt so good.

I put in a cryptic Kemo Sabe...

[NekoParks]

Originally Posted by Tio_Narratore

and being sad never felt so good.

I put in a cryptic Kemo Sabe...

And you wonder who was that masked man, or maybe it was just a bad day to be indigenous?

I put in Chocolate Genius's cover of "Ain't That Peculiar"...

[slyc_willie]

Originally Posted by NekoParks

And you wonder who was that masked man, or maybe it was just a bad day to be indigenous?

I put in Chocolate Genius's cover of "Ain't That Peculiar"...

. . . and you get a peculiar look from the host of "Sweet Genius"

I put in a bottle of warm German beer . . . .

[Saxon_Hart]

Originally Posted by slyc_willie

. . . and you get a peculiar look from the host of "Sweet Genius"

I put in a bottle of warm German beer . . . .

And it's gone before you can blink your eyes.


I put in a fifth of Stoli.

[Handley_Page]

Originally Posted by Saxon_Hart

And it's gone before you can blink your eyes.


I put in a fifth of Stoli.

And it's gone !


I put in a design for a new aerial

[Tio_Narratore]

Originally Posted by Handley_Page

And it's gone !


I put in a design for a new aerial

and it's copied by a bot to publish on another site.

I put in a toothless patent law...