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Old 03-20-2013, 08:15 PM   #1
southern_gal
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NOT wank fodder - need advice

I could use some sound advice from folks that have been in the same situation I am currently in. The NOT so important background. I am married. My husband works away from home for several weeks at a time. He is fully aware of a years long desire that I have had to be with another woman. He has told me more than once that he has no issues with my having a fem lover as long as I cool things off if I see it getting romantic. What IS important to know is that I was with a friend this past weekend whom I have been seeing a lot of lately. We have been friends for years. It took a turn that I sort of saw coming yet still surprised me a bit. We had a girls nite in with a few friends and when I was helping her clean up she kissed me. I was tingling all the way to my toes like a silly teenager yet I froze. She knows all about my background with my husband and that makes it worse. I simply could not get my brain to function and I just stood there. It got awkward and we let it go but now there is a huge elephant in the room. I have spoken to her since and she is hurt and I really do want to explore with her but am afraid that 1. I will freeze up again and 2. I do not even know how to begin that conversation. Any help would really be appreciated.
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Old 03-20-2013, 09:02 PM   #2
photobuff56
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Explain to her your thoughts just like you did here and let her know that you want toyry it but Ot may take time. My guess your probably worth the wait and just the antisapation would male me wait for you.
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Old 03-20-2013, 09:32 PM   #3
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Suggest you begin the conversation frankly, such as with, "About what happened, I'm sorry I froze and I'm sorry if you felt like I was rejecting you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really did like kissing you and I want to do more, but I'm afraid I'll freeze up again."

You're good, long time friends. Be open and honest about what happened and your feelings. Trust her and trust your self.

Good luck.
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Old 03-20-2013, 10:19 PM   #4
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Sorry, I have no advice. I'm just wanking at the story.
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Old 03-20-2013, 10:45 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1sickbastard View Post
Suggest you begin the conversation frankly, such as with, "About what happened, I'm sorry I froze and I'm sorry if you felt like I was rejecting you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really did like kissing you and I want to do more, but I'm afraid I'll freeze up again."

You're good, long time friends. Be open and honest about what happened and your feelings. Trust her and trust your self.

Good luck.
Ditto the truth will set you free!!!!!
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Old 03-20-2013, 10:58 PM   #6
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just start the conversation

You don't need to be a pro at this sort of conversation. Who is?

Probably, as soon as you open up honestly, saying anything like you just said, your friend will be hugely relieved. Right now, she might be worried that she offended you badly and maybe ruined a friendship. Compared to that, hearing that you liked it, are interested in more, but need some patience - this will be good news to her.

I expect your friend will be patient. She is your friend after all. Does she really think that this will be straightforward? Probably not, so I doubt she'll be surprised if this caught you off guard.
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:57 PM   #7
southern_gal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 1sickbastard View Post
Suggest you begin the conversation frankly, such as with, "About what happened, I'm sorry I froze and I'm sorry if you felt like I was rejecting you. I didn't mean to hurt you. I really did like kissing you and I want to do more, but I'm afraid I'll freeze up again."

You're good, long time friends. Be open and honest about what happened and your feelings. Trust her and trust your self.

Good luck.
Very good advice and thank you. I have been feeling simply awful the last couple of days. Torn between saying nothing and hoping it goes away and trying to say something but doing that wrong as well and making an awkward situation with someone I care about even worse.
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Old 03-20-2013, 11:59 PM   #8
southern_gal
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mmb View Post
You don't need to be a pro at this sort of conversation. Who is?

Probably, as soon as you open up honestly, saying anything like you just said, your friend will be hugely relieved. Right now, she might be worried that she offended you badly and maybe ruined a friendship. Compared to that, hearing that you liked it, are interested in more, but need some patience - this will be good news to her.

I expect your friend will be patient. She is your friend after all. Does she really think that this will be straightforward? Probably not, so I doubt she'll be surprised if this caught you off guard.
This helped and thank you. I am starting to look forward to our lunch friday and maybe we can get this out of the way. Regardless what happens she is and always will be a wonderful friend.
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