Orgasm? How!

One of the things that really can work, is to get her hips up on a pillow and kneel pulling in close. Penetrate deep and just stay there and don't move. You can grab the top of the vulva and feel the clit inside without direct contact. Let her control the movement of her clit between your finger and thumb. YOu'll feel it popping between them. DON"T HELP! Let her control the movement. When she comes... go for it.

[Riles]

You're turning your nose up at the best advice given on this thread so far. Eilan had it right. If she isn't aware of what works for herself, how can she possibly make you aware of it?

You said you both have played together...sorry, MASTURBATED (yes, we can say the word), but that she prefers not to as the big finish? So, maybe just take her at her word? For a lot of women, the emotional connection with the one we love, experiencing his satisfaction with him, and reinforcing the bond can sometimes trump the pleasure we get in physical release.

As for the ticklishness, I have only known this to be a kind of ...well...cop out. Maybe she's self conscious of reaching her "O" in front of you?

OR...maybe there's something more at work and you should suggest she seek a professional opinion?

[NaughtyIsNice]

Monk, I wanted to chime in, as I'm much like your wife. I adore sex, get incredibly aroused, but just can't "finish" with someone else watching. It's kinda like that "can't pee in front of people" thing that Amofiga mentioned. (But we're working on it. )

I think the first step is figuring out what's happening. Can she cum when she's alone? Then you know it's not physical. What does she do that gets her off? Can you re-create those sensations when you're together?

If it's a "brain thing" like you said, then does she need to relax more? Trust you (or herself) more? Maybe take things a little slower to build desire? BTW, a little wine is nice for relaxing, but too much can dull the senses and make things worse.

You say she gets ticklish when she's close to orgasm. I wonder if it's truly "ticklish" that she feels, or - like me - it just feels too good, and is actually fear of going over the edge...

My best advice is to 1) be thrilled she enjoys sex, and build on what you have; 2) let her know there's no pressure; 3) assure her she's beautiful and completely safe with you in bed, no matter what; 4) keep communication open and be willing to try new things.

I think it's wonderful that you care about helping your wife with this. Good luck to you.

[satindesire]

So let me get this straight.

She won't masturbate. Won't use toys, and has never had an orgasm before.

Maybe...she doesn't really WANT to?

Some women can have happy lives without ever having an orgasm once. Perhaps you should sit down and talk to her about what HER goals are...not what your goals are for her. And if her goals aren't the same as yours, talk about a compromise.

If she's happy never coming, then leave it alone.

My daddy always said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

[Trolltroll420]

This may sound crazy, but my wife cums every time I use my taser on her.

[xAmmie]

Yeah, I'm in the same boat, my guy hates the fact that I can't finish, but if I can't relax, then I can't relax. I'm sure your wife doesn't mind, I could careless if I orgasm or not, I'm satisfied with just getting close. When I'm finally out of my parents house though, that's the first thing on my list.

[Domesticity]

Just wanted to reiterate naughtyisnice's mention that wine can dull the senses. I can't have an orgasm if I've had any alcohol-not even one glass.

[NaughtyAngel7]

......

[Loverskitten]

Originally Posted by Monkmanio

I am aware there isn't a magic answer here

YES THERE IS, it's called a Hitachi Magic Wand. Get her one, tell her to use it alone (at first)
It's the best thing ever!

[Loverskitten]

Originally Posted by satindesire

So let me get this straight.

She won't masturbate. Won't use toys, and has never had an orgasm before.

Maybe...she doesn't really WANT to?

Some women can have happy lives without ever having an orgasm once. Perhaps you should sit down and talk to her about what HER goals are...not what your goals are for her. And if her goals aren't the same as yours, talk about a compromise.

If she's happy never coming, then leave it alone.

My daddy always said, if it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Yeah but this is like going through life never having tasted your favorite food. Sad.

I didn't have an orgasm until I was in my 30s and I don't usually with partners but ahhhh it's so nice now that I can myself.

[satindesire]

Originally Posted by Loverskitten

Yeah but this is like going through life never having tasted your favorite food. Sad.

I didn't have an orgasm until I was in my 30s and I don't usually with partners but ahhhh it's so nice now that I can myself.

Playing devil's advocate here, some people could say "Ignorance is Bliss" because how do you know it's your favorite food if you've never tasted it?

Chicken/egg, I know. But you don't know what you're missing when you've never done it.

[nowiser]

Originally Posted by Trolltroll420

This may sound crazy, but my wife cums every time I use my taser on her.

*rubs eyes*

That's just shocking!

Sorry. Sorry. It was a gimmee, and noone else was pickin' it up. I felt I had a responsibility. . .

[ImpishSeraph]

I orgasm better when being dominated. It's very rare that I have one when I'm not, and my husband is not a Dom. Love him to pieces, and he's so caring, but no matter what I can't get him to do this.

My problem is I can't get my mind cleared enough. When I'm being controlled all thoughts are taken from me and it frees my mind some how.

Everyone is different. At least you are working with her to figure it out.