Green Horned vanilla demon

[Baron_of_Hell]

Falling coconuts kill more people each year than shark attacks.

Alright, so its my first time (ever) posting to an adult forum, So I have no idea what will happen...
I am a Dude who wants a female pen pal to talk about all sorts of stuff (mostly dirty masturbatory material or philosophy, or wharever)
I doubt I will get any responses, but some stuff you should know:
I tend to use big words, you have been warned.
I am a vanilla man, so I am a sucker for romance, cuddling and lovemaking.
I am a virgin and old fashioned, so hearing about how you slept with 50 some people and a goat (my cousin, *bleats*) is not exactly a what I am into to...

and the off chance you take this innocent, borish, ole' fashioned virgin into consideration, thanks.

And yes, I am based on that demon from the video game: DOOM.

[Zulae]

Just one advice: Enable PMs, that will increase your chances of getting replies immensely

[Baron_of_Hell]

*click*
...
*click*
...
done

[Baron_of_Hell]

after perusing the forums for a bit and seeing all the "nerds".
you are not a real nerd unless you know what:
tar ~f
is. if you don't, then you are just a dork (like Napoleon Dynamite)

this puplic service announcement is brought to you by Hell and an excuse for a shameful self bump :3

[Baron_of_Hell]

xkcd: the webcomic that makes you smarter.
TwoKinds: the webcomic that makes you open to white supremacy.
Megatokyo: the webcomic that makes you stupid.
Oglaf: the webcomic that makes you cringe and laugh at the same time
Sequential Art: the webcomic that makes all webcomics pale in comparison.


P.S.
I checked the reservation roster for hell, Fred Gallagher and Tom Fischbeck are competing for spot #665 of "Ignorance and the misguiding of mankind"


Brought to you by Hell

[Baron_of_Hell]

*insert massive wall of text headed at your eyeballs like a freight train*

[Baron_of_Hell]

One last *desperate* bump before I let this thread gather some actual dust *cough* bullshit *cough*

Obviously none of the girls are going to come to me, so I will come to them. (RIP AND TEAR TIME!)

-BoH

[codex954]

I hated fighting your kind back in the 90s. Always had to whip out the ol' BFG 9000.

[sereneone4u]

You are fun.

Here is a bump.

[dutchrain]

I think I now know some things I never felt the need to know.
Thanks for warping me into a net-surf.

[Baron_of_Hell]

Originally Posted by codex954

I hated fighting your kind back in the 90s. Always had to whip out the ol' BFG 9000.

Muahaha...

[LucyN]

Looks like I am a dork, no wonder you don't want to talk to me

[Baron_of_Hell]

Originally Posted by LucyN

Looks like I am a dork, no wonder you don't want to talk to me

Whoever said that? D:
I was just redefining like the stuck up authoritarian jerk I am.

[Baron_of_Hell]

Did you know that without mucous, your stomach would *le subtle bump* eat itself?

I am going to on for a while tonight, lol.
alas however, I have work tomorrow...

[Baron_of_Hell]

Practical problems...


Can't let this thread die till it reaches 666 views, XD

who else read todays Oglaf?(the one with the peacock man *wink*)

[Baron_of_Hell]

Bumping for Original content is hard when you are sleepy and have to go to work... *yawn*
be back at 1-ish pacific time...

[Baron_of_Hell]

Just saw some Extreme hardcore crap. that was pm-ed to me as a trap. I, in my infinite Moronic ways will of course whine and complain about it in my thread.
<whining>
So in this flick, this guy with a depressingly endowed schlong takes this petite little girl/ human stick thingy, and chokes her. not an extreme blowjob (dupped gagjob)
no, He is choking her out with his bare hands. and the whole time she is splirting out "yesssss..." like she is enjoying it with eyes rolled up in the back of her head. Then the dude lets go of her, she catches her breath (or wakes up, I couldn't tell)
then the guy starts punching her. Like beat to death kind of blows.
I closed the and removed history when I saw that.

what Provokes people to engage and Enjoy that shit? (pardon my language, but no decent enough euphemism was found)
That girl looked like she liked it (when she was conscious)

why? whatever happened to making love that didn't involve to paid lesbians?
intimacy is died (from what I saw)

</whining>

[Keel_to_breaker]

Originally Posted by Baron_of_Hell

Just saw some Extreme hardcore crap. that was pm-ed to me as a trap.

Bump. just because I loled a your Admiral Akbar moment.

[Baron_of_Hell]

Its A Trap.

[ornitorinko]

Originally Posted by Baron_of_Hell

after perusing the forums for a bit and seeing all the "nerds".
you are not a real nerd unless you know what:
tar ~f
is. if you don't, then you are just a dork (like Napoleon Dynamite)

I know the tar command and don't classify myself a nerd not even by a long shot - so I'll just continue updating my system
apt-get dist-upgrade

[ohhhsosoft]

Originally Posted by Baron_of_Hell

Just saw some Extreme hardcore crap. that was pm-ed to me as a trap. I, in my infinite Moronic ways will of course whine and complain about it in my thread.
<whining>

*(edit so nobody has to read that again)*

what Provokes people to engage and Enjoy that shit? (pardon my language, but no decent enough euphemism was found)
That girl looked like she liked it (when she was conscious)

why? whatever happened to making love that didn't involve to paid lesbians?
intimacy is died (from what I saw)

</whining>

I don't think intimacy has died. In it's own way, the choking thing, if it was real, was extremely intimate, an act that required a lot of discussion before hand and a tremendous amount of trust building. Personally I"m not attracted to pain, but I know people who are. I asked one once, what the attraction was, and he just looked at me with this GRIN on his face and said, "because it feels so good when it stops." Freaked me out a little, but it's what he likes and he isn't asking me to be hurt or do the hurting, so--To Each His Own.

More than anything, I think someone Pm-ing this video to you when you've expressly said you're not interested in it is an example of the Death of Courtesy. Somewhere along the line it's become ok, even expected for people to be rude to one another, and that's what I find really annoying.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

Peace, Love, and Joy,

SaJe

[Baron_of_Hell]

Originally Posted by ornitorinko

I know the tar command and don't classify myself a nerd not even by a long shot - so I'll just continue updating my system
apt-get dist-upgrade

usr: Baron_of_Hell ~$: High five
err: cmd "High" not found.

[Baron_of_Hell]

Originally Posted by ohhhsosoft

I don't think intimacy has died. In it's own way, the choking thing, if it was real, was extremely intimate, an act that required a lot of discussion before hand and a tremendous amount of trust building. Personally I"m not attracted to pain, but I know people who are. I asked one once, what the attraction was, and he just looked at me with this GRIN on his face and said, "because it feels so good when it stops." Freaked me out a little, but it's what he likes and he isn't asking me to be hurt or do the hurting, so--To Each His Own.

More than anything, I think someone Pm-ing this video to you when you've expressly said you're not interested in it is an example of the Death of Courtesy. Somewhere along the line it's become ok, even expected for people to be rude to one another, and that's what I find really annoying.

I hope you find what you're looking for.

Peace, Love, and Joy,

SaJe

He was trying to KILL this girl and hurting her (not playful pain, she started bleeding) and one of the tags was "snuff" and I don't think it involves snorting tobacco.

I shudder to think of it.


...

This is a bad place to discuss such matters. Point is: I DON'T LIKE IT.

[ornitorinko]

Originally Posted by Baron_of_Hell

usr: Baron_of_Hell ~$: High five
err: cmd "High" not found.

$ mkdir High_five
$ mv ~/High_five ~/Baron_of_Hell

Have a whole folder of high five's!

[cumbtwntits]

Originally Posted by LucyN

Looks like I am a dork, no wonder you don't want to talk to me

I'd like to talk to your legs....yum.