how to convince shy wife to explore ?

[pmann]

Originally Posted by frankhotfantasy

thanks a lot guys ! u do change my thoughts . trying to all newly and make every second special for her . Thanks .

My post in the thread earlier may have seemed snarky, but it really wasn't. If she had a fantasy of getting you to get fucked by a guy, how would you want that to be brought up? I'm using that as an example because MOST guys don't have that desire.

So let us say you are scared to bring it up. Because your desires might not be something she would necessarily enjoy. Put yourself in her shoes. How would you want something like that addressed to you. How could she come to you with a fantasy that might not be the best for you, but still make you feel okay, even if it wasn't your thing?

I think a key is also to let time work on your side. You might be amazed at the things she will do if you are just patient and don't just order your way through things. Things you once thought improbable may be done without a second thought.

[Emerson40]

Originally Posted by pmann

But look ....

Fucka be puttin' out some shawtys!!! Oh snap!!! From the window to the wall!!! Skeet skeet muthafuckas!!!

But my favourite part...

Saw this on a thread read-through.... reminded me of a video recently sent to me of that song, done acoustic, in a coffee shop.


Clicky the picky to get low with a cuppa joe.
⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓

[Rainshine]

Saw this a few weeks ago... the guy in the background cracks me up.

[vibes]

Originally Posted by Rainshine

Saw this a few weeks ago... the guy in the background cracks me up.

[Rainshine]

Originally Posted by vibes

The link on Emerson's pic, BB.

[pmann]

Originally Posted by Emerson40

Saw this on a thread read-through.... reminded me of a video recently sent to me of that song, done acoustic, in a coffee shop.


Clicky the picky to get low with a cuppa joe.
⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓⇓

Hahaha. Class. I could totally see myself doing that. The best is that he sings so well. I love this video.

That song was always a mystery to me. I mean, how the heck did that song ever get written? Someone actually put those words on paper and submitted them for someone to sing and it happened.

[Beasil]

I have a perspective...my mate expressed his fantasy to me for (among other things) a mmf. I considered it, thought it might be interesting, and love my mate enough to pursue it. As a surprise to both of us, We are currently on that journey. So, don't underestimate your wife...talk to her in a non-threatening way. I believe if you don't, your marriage may be doomed...these things have a way of eroding intimacy.

[wellnow]

I think this and similar videos might be helpful to become more comfortable in a swinging situation.

http://http://www.xhamster.com/movie..._season_1.html

[Eilan]

Originally Posted by Beasil

I have a perspective...my mate expressed his fantasy to me for (among other things) a mmf. I considered it, thought it might be interesting, and love my mate enough to pursue it. As a surprise to both of us, We are currently on that journey. So, don't underestimate your wife...talk to her in a non-threatening way. I believe if you don't, your marriage may be doomed...these things have a way of eroding intimacy.

On the other hand, deciding that you weren't interested in pursuing a MMF wouldn't have meant that you didn't love your mate enough.

[Beasil]

Perhaps...but giving is better than receiving...and it only involves the flesh, not the soul. So, stretching oneself, even though it's a bit (initially perceived as) uncomfortable, it may be worth the risk...it is a demonstration of love and acceptance of the other. And a lifetime bond. Does that make sense?

[JKayle]

In reply to the original poster;

There’s nothing wrong with the fantasy of sharing your wife; as you noted before, we humans can fantasise about just about anything; hell, there was a story in the paper a couple of days ago about a guy who got his erotic mental kicks from balloons… I kid you not.

The thing is, you’re gonna be in a kind of catch 22 situation; you can’t share this fantasy with her, so it’ll become stronger and all consuming. You won’t be able to just forget about it. Soon, you’ll be thinking about it all the time.

It’s important to realise that if it happens, then it’s not going to be a magic pill that suddenly injects fun and frolicking in the bedroom; your sex life won’t go from boring to amazing just because she had sex with another man.

I’ve been there myself; spent years researching books and on the net for how to bring out that sexy uninhibited minx that was buried deep inside my wife. The sex was boring and growing more infrequent as time passed, and all I could think about was how to make it wilder. We tried the other man thing, and trust me, that’s not somewhere you want to go unless things are truly awesome between you anyway.

All the time I thought it was my wife that was inhibited, I was wrong. It was actually me that was the inhibited one. I couldn’t speak directly to her about sex, fantasy, or even what the hell I wanted to do to her later. Everything was couched in safe terms and code words. I’d lay in bed afterwards wishing that she’d done X,Y & Z, instead of us following the same default pattern, when she was the one that climbed into bed saying, “So, what are you going to do to me,”

The fault wasn’t hers, it was mine. I too damned nervous of her rejections to try.

Many women like their husbands to take the lead; confidence is everything. She’s not going to be waiting naked at the door for you unless you’ve been turning her on all day, and if you can keep her running on horny, things are gonna be a whole lot wilder in the bedroom, and elsewhere.

If you can’t ask her to hand you her panties whilst in a restaurant, then you’re not ready to play with others, lol

[Beasil]

Bumping up

[wellnow]

http://xhamster.com/search.php?q=playboy+tv&qcat=video

You might want to select some of the videos from playboy that IMO are a great beginning for a couple who have occasional or consistent problems "exploring".

Hope this is of some help.

wellnow

[frankhotfantasy]

thanks ..let me check

[frankhotfantasy]

Originally Posted by JKayle

In reply to the original poster;

There’s nothing wrong with the fantasy of sharing your wife; as you noted before, we humans can fantasise about just about anything; hell, there was a story in the paper a couple of days ago about a guy who got his erotic mental kicks from balloons… I kid you not.

The thing is, you’re gonna be in a kind of catch 22 situation; you can’t share this fantasy with her, so it’ll become stronger and all consuming. You won’t be able to just forget about it. Soon, you’ll be thinking about it all the time.

It’s important to realise that if it happens, then it’s not going to be a magic pill that suddenly injects fun and frolicking in the bedroom; your sex life won’t go from boring to amazing just because she had sex with another man.

I’ve been there myself; spent years researching books and on the net for how to bring out that sexy uninhibited minx that was buried deep inside my wife. The sex was boring and growing more infrequent as time passed, and all I could think about was how to make it wilder. We tried the other man thing, and trust me, that’s not somewhere you want to go unless things are truly awesome between you anyway.

All the time I thought it was my wife that was inhibited, I was wrong. It was actually me that was the inhibited one. I couldn’t speak directly to her about sex, fantasy, or even what the hell I wanted to do to her later. Everything was couched in safe terms and code words. I’d lay in bed afterwards wishing that she’d done X,Y & Z, instead of us following the same default pattern, when she was the one that climbed into bed saying, “So, what are you going to do to me,”

The fault wasn’t hers, it was mine. I too damned nervous of her rejections to try.

Many women like their husbands to take the lead; confidence is everything. She’s not going to be waiting naked at the door for you unless you’ve been turning her on all day, and if you can keep her running on horny, things are gonna be a whole lot wilder in the bedroom, and elsewhere.

If you can’t ask her to hand you her panties whilst in a restaurant, then you’re not ready to play with others, lol

yaaa........u have find out the point nicely , i will try to execute . thanks

[blulilacgrl]

Originally Posted by frankhotfantasy

yaaa........u have find out the point nicely , i will try to execute . thanks

One thing I have found helpful in "opening my partner's mind" is that you have to be slow and respectful. Any time there is something new I want to try, I first speak about it in general terms to gauge his reaction. Also I find it helpful to discuss sexual fantasies outside of the bedroom. When you are in the bedroom and having sex is not the time to bring it up as it can sometimes make the person feel pressured to fulfill the fantasy. This can then lead to guilt, hurt feelings, and even anger.

So, I suggest you find some time when the two of you are relaxed (I find evening when Hubby and I are sitting out on the porch to be the most conducive~ the quiet night and semi darkness can allow each of us to be a bit more open in our feelings.

Then I would gently broach the topic but in a very general sense. Ex. "I saw/thought about/read about this interesting thing and would love to get your opinion on it." At this point PAY ATTENTION! Not only to her words but to her body language. If she doesn't like the idea, you need to back off.

Actually even if she does like the idea, back off. Give her time to think about it away from you. Hubby and I have a firm rule when discussing new ideas. First we talk about it in general terms and in a non sexual environment. Then we call a "break" and give ourselves time to think it over. Then we talk about it some more a day or two later. Then "break" again to think some more. If at that point we are both open to it, we begin to discuss it in more specific terms of he and I doing it.

Understand what you are thinking of asking is a huge thing. and contrary to your fantasy, you may be the one who ends up not happy with it. Ask yourself how you would really feel. What if she agrees to it, you make it happen and the other guy gives her a tremendous orgasm? Or if he is more endowed than you? Or what if she does something for him that she hasn't done for you? Or what if she likes it so much she wants to do it again with someone else? These are things you need to consider. Often reality does not live up to the fantasy and/or it can quickly spiral out of control.

OR, and I know no one ever thinks of this while fantasizing. have you considered the physical aspect of this? STDs, pregnancy, etc. There is a lot that goes into bringing someone into your bedroom and the emotional effect is only part of it. Granted it is a large part, but still the physical component needs to be addressed/thought about.

What you are asking for/thinking about is a huge step. I would suggest trying other smaller things before making the leap of including someone else in your bedroom.

[DRS_EROS]

Originally Posted by blulilacgrl

One thing I have found helpful in "opening my partner's mind" is that you have to be slow and respectful. Any time there is something new I want to try, I first speak about it in general terms to gauge his reaction. Also I find it helpful to discuss sexual fantasies outside of the bedroom. When you are in the bedroom and having sex is not the time to bring it up as it can sometimes make the person feel pressured to fulfill the fantasy. This can then lead to guilt, hurt feelings, and even anger.

So, I suggest you find some time when the two of you are relaxed (I find evening when Hubby and I are sitting out on the porch to be the most conducive~ the quiet night and semi darkness can allow each of us to be a bit more open in our feelings.

Then I would gently broach the topic but in a very general sense. Ex. "I saw/thought about/read about this interesting thing and would love to get your opinion on it." At this point PAY ATTENTION! Not only to her words but to her body language. If she doesn't like the idea, you need to back off.

Actually even if she does like the idea, back off. Give her time to think about it away from you. Hubby and I have a firm rule when discussing new ideas. First we talk about it in general terms and in a non sexual environment. Then we call a "break" and give ourselves time to think it over. Then we talk about it some more a day or two later. Then "break" again to think some more. If at that point we are both open to it, we begin to discuss it in more specific terms of he and I doing it.

Understand what you are thinking of asking is a huge thing. and contrary to your fantasy, you may be the one who ends up not happy with it. Ask yourself how you would really feel. What if she agrees to it, you make it happen and the other guy gives her a tremendous orgasm? Or if he is more endowed than you? Or what if she does something for him that she hasn't done for you? Or what if she likes it so much she wants to do it again with someone else? These are things you need to consider. Often reality does not live up to the fantasy and/or it can quickly spiral out of control.

OR, and I know no one ever thinks of this while fantasizing. have you considered the physical aspect of this? STDs, pregnancy, etc. There is a lot that goes into bringing someone into your bedroom and the emotional effect is only part of it. Granted it is a large part, but still the physical component needs to be addressed/thought about.

What you are asking for/thinking about is a huge step. I would suggest trying other smaller things before making the leap of including someone else in your bedroom.

Bitchiness is an art form, don't think so. I think it is more of a character flaw or personality defect.

[DRS_EROS]

Originally Posted by frankhotfantasy

Hi, Friends ; i am really new here and this gonna be my first post . in real life i always fantasize about sharing my wife and taboo sex ideas most of the time related with her . We have married for near about ten years now and we do have a happy and successful sex life . she has the ability to rock on the bed but the problem is she is very shy by nature and religious as well , she even refuse to experiment new things on bed whether i dream to swap her . I have think a lot about my fantasy and i am sure its not just a kinky thought of brain but its what i desire . These things running on my mind for last two or three years but i have failed to bring it to her . i am afraid it could ruin our relation and trust . I will like to have ideas and advises to convince her to broad her mind . important think is , i don't want to see her to do it on my sake , i will like to see her doing it for her own pleasure . i need to open up her mind , i want to see her think about sex for 24/7 just like me. we love each other a lot but we have totally different character in type . is here anybody who has the similar experience or could advise me what should be my first move to bring my desire to her . waiting for your reply .

How about going back to school first and work on your english and writing. I suspect this post is not to be taken seriously and is the work of someone with the mind of a juvenile.

[blulilacgrl]

Originally Posted by DRS_EROS

Bitchiness is an art form, don't think so. I think it is more of a character flaw or personality defect.

I'm sorry but I fail to see where I was bitchy in my response to the OP. Perhaps you would like to point it out?

[bailadora]

Originally Posted by DRS_EROS

How about going back to school first and work on your english and writing. I suspect this post is not to be taken seriously and is the work of someone with the mind of a juvenile.

Meh. For someone who's native language isn't English, I think he's doing a rather fair job of trying to communicate.

[Eilan]

Originally Posted by DRS_EROS

How about going back to school first and working on your English and writing? I suspect this post is not to be taken seriously and is the work of someone with the mind of a juvenile.

Fixed your post.

You're welcome.

[NightL]

See - this is why you were missed so much
XX

[Sweetdaisymae]

.......
Wrong thread!

[frankhotfantasy]

Originally Posted by DRS_EROS

How about going back to school first and work on your english and writing. I suspect this post is not to be taken seriously and is the work of someone with the mind of a juvenile.

don't try to be over smart . english is not my language and this is not a place for only english spoken people . its the emotion and thoughts people exchanging here not the knowledge of english grammar . the word juvenile is new to me. synonyms suggesting "young' . i really don't want to let my mind get old. let my mind stay juvenile/young and u better do ur own bsns .