Originally Posted by ameliajax
I read enough of your story to form an idea of your skill set. I say this because the category is low on my list of stuff that floats my boat. So understand that BDSM doesnt do it for me 99.99% of the time. The Marquis de Sade dont thrill me.
So here you are: Your tale is coherent and cohesive and you got the punctuation and spelling under control. The rest is my personal druthers: Get rid of the auxillary verbs and adverbs, they shout to the world, I CUT CORNERS! Rather than say WAS KNEELING say KNELT.
And dont worry about your babies.