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Old 02-12-2013, 12:19 AM   #1
Belvino
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Psychology and BDSM

Disclaimer: I do not intend to offend anyone with my thread. Please, do not take offense I am just satisfying a curiosity as to what others think.

Recently, I was thinking about how children today are not spanked as they were back in my day, and the generations before me. I believe that my generation was probably the last to be born where it was considered acceptable to discipline your child by spanking. I never had the pleasure to endure corporal punishment in school, but certainly received my fair share of spankings as a child.

Anyway, to get to the point... I was curious if anyone believes there is a correlation between spanking, and an interest in the BDSM lifestyle or similar "rough" sex? Also, if you believe so do you think that the newest generations will continue into adulthood engaging in BDSM, or not?
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Old 02-12-2013, 12:52 AM   #2
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Correlation? Nope.
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Old 02-12-2013, 01:51 AM   #3
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Some of the people I know say yes for them, some say no.

I had BDSM fantasies since early childhood and none of them had anything to do spankings-- which did happen once in a while.
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Old 02-12-2013, 02:18 AM   #4
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I've had BDSM fantasies since childhood as well. I was also spanked, not often, but a few times.

But, I never thought I would be turned on by spanking, sexually, until I was. And I don't think any of my early fantasies included that.

I don't think there is a correlation. At least I don't think there is for me.
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Old 02-12-2013, 03:38 AM   #5
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I was never spanked as a kid. My mom said she hit me once and then was immediately very sorry but I don't remember it at all.
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:35 AM   #6
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Not at all. My wife was never spanked at a child.
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Old 02-12-2013, 05:59 AM   #7
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Another one that was never spanked as a child. There was always the threat of a wooden spoon accross the ass but it never happened.
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:43 AM   #8
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And I *was* spanked as a child, but the earliest memory* I have of that is LONG past the time of the memory of me spanking the (same age-ish) neighbor girl.

* - Clarification: The earliest memory I have of being spanked *other than* the spanking I got when I was caught spanking the neighbor girl, and from my memories of that, it was a "See? That hurts! You shouldn't do it to others" kind of thing. I don't remember any other disciplinary spankings until I was of age to be in school.
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Old 02-12-2013, 08:48 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Belvino View Post
Disclaimer: I do not intend to offend anyone with my thread. Please, do not take offense I am just satisfying a curiosity as to what others think.

Recently, I was thinking about how children today are not spanked as they were back in my day, and the generations before me. I believe that my generation was probably the last to be born where it was considered acceptable to discipline your child by spanking. I never had the pleasure to endure corporal punishment in school, but certainly received my fair share of spankings as a child.

Anyway, to get to the point... I was curious if anyone believes there is a correlation between spanking, and an interest in the BDSM lifestyle or similar "rough" sex? Also, if you believe so do you think that the newest generations will continue into adulthood engaging in BDSM, or not?
Your disclaimer in this post wasn't really necessary, as the rest of your post made your purpose in opening the thread pretty clear.

Also, your general literacy, both in this post and previous posts I have seen, helps. Your sentences are constructed so as to provide coherent bits of information and/or to ask coherent questions, and require little or no clarification or additional questions to get to the desired point.

And since I haven't previously welcomed you here:

Welcome to BDSM Talk and the BDSM Café!
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Old 02-12-2013, 09:56 AM   #10
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Spank me please

As someone who's trying to figure out her submissive side and never ever been spanked, not even on my Birthday, nor any other kind of corporal punishment, I have this desire for the love of my life to lay me on her lap and spank the h out of me. So, at least for me, I don't think it much matters what happened during childhood.
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Old 02-12-2013, 10:08 AM   #11
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It's easy and seductive to try to draw relationships between what appear to be broad changes in society. But, like many other seductive things, this tendency will lead one down a rabbit hole that's so narrow you won't be able to turn around to get back out.

Since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, people in western society have been progressively extending their explorations of sexual practices. More and more practices that once were nearly taboo are now welcomed into the mainstream. At present, there is a flowering of interest in the practices that make up BDSM. Who knows what will be of interest in another ten or fifteen years?

In any event, the chances of there being a causative relationship between certain parenting practices and the popularity of certain sexual practices are pretty damned low. Especially since you'd have to somehow demonstrate that once the not-spanked generation comes to maturity, BDSM would die out. Not very likely, in my humble though aged view.
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Old 02-12-2013, 11:29 AM   #12
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As a child, I was spanked, hit, slapped, dragged around and so on. None of it was a turn on to me.

I'm 100% against spanking and generally, punitive discipline vrs instructive consequences, and strong boundaries, for kids.

As an adult sexual being I enjoy being spanked and hit in some ways but slap me and I can't promise you'll make it safely out of the room, nor will I be dragged around.

Generally broad sweeping ideas about childhood "making us" any particularly way are rarely true. It's all too easy to do. Certainly nurture can have an influence but, the genetics are a much larger part of the equation, IMO.

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Old 02-12-2013, 12:22 PM   #13
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"BDSM" doesn't always equal pain or rough sex. Boom, pet theory disproven. (Not that psychology hasn't already done this.)

I think I got spanked once as a kid. None of my D/s inclinations or my associated paraphilia ever involved pain or roughness until my teen years. The "cause" of BDSM is really quite simple, actually: imprinting during the early developmental years probably coupled with brain anatomy. Not nearly as sexy of an explanation, I know.
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Old 02-12-2013, 07:39 PM   #14
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Another who was never spanked as a child. And I've only been spanked once as an adult. My BDSM associations have nothing whatsoever to do with spanking.

Do I think that, because more children aren't being spanked, less will grow up to be interested in bdsm? No. I don't think there is any correlation at all. I went fishing all the time as a kid, yet I still have no interest in skinning a fish. I saw my father drink alcohol throughout my childhood, yet I've never touched the stuff.

I think the whole "what happens in childhood dictates what happens in adulthood" idea is WAY over-exaggerated. Is it true, every so often? Sure. But not as a general rule.
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Old 02-12-2013, 10:58 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sir_Winston54 View Post
Your disclaimer in this post wasn't really necessary, as the rest of your post made your purpose in opening the thread pretty clear.

Also, your general literacy, both in this post and previous posts I have seen, helps. Your sentences are constructed so as to provide coherent bits of information and/or to ask coherent questions, and require little or no clarification or additional questions to get to the desired point.

And since I haven't previously welcomed you here:

Welcome to BDSM Talk and the BDSM Café!
Thanks for the welcome I just felt it was necessary to post the disclaimer because people can be sensitive sometimes.
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Old 02-12-2013, 10:59 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Belvino View Post
.... people can be sensitive sometimes.
Here? Us? NEVER!

Bwahahaha!
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Old 02-12-2013, 11:10 PM   #17
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So the general consensus seems to be that there is no correlation. That is intriguing. I myself am I believer that the environment the child grows up in will affect their future behavior. I also believe that serial killers, for instance, are exposed not only to a bad family life, but also have serious lack of development, or an impaired frontal lobe. I know that is totally off topic, but it is just something I am passionate about. I would have loved to major in Psychology, and become a Criminal Psychologist

I will have to agree with everyone so far. I don't believe there is a connection between the two. People are so unique and have so many interests. I just saw an armpit fetish the other day. Now that I do not understand... is it even an erogenous zone?
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Old 02-12-2013, 11:17 PM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Belvino View Post
I just saw an armpit fetish the other day. Now that I do not understand... is it even an erogenous zone?
To someone with that particular fetish, yes.
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Old 02-12-2013, 11:29 PM   #19
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To someone with that particular fetish, yes.
I guess you're right. Not my fetish that's for sure.
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Old 02-13-2013, 12:26 AM   #20
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I don't think so, I would classify a childhood spanking the same way I would categorize stubbing my toe in the middle of the night, they both involve something painful, but there is nothing erotic about it whatsoever......To be honest, I don't know what causes BD/SM behavior, if it is hardwired in our brains, if something else triggers it, but having known enough people into it, they were people who grew up with spanking/catholic school, didn't grow up with corporal punishment, and they are equally kinky....

Then you have a guy back in the usenet newsgroup days called Philip the Foole who claimed he got a hardon when they were taking him into the ER having a heart attack..........someone explain me that one *lol*
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Old 02-13-2013, 08:37 AM   #21
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If you want to look for the childhood roots of this behavior, you have to allow for a very complex set of variables that will change from individual to individual and practice to practice.

Like all human behavior, in my opinion, it's a combination of nature and nurture. Genetic predispositions and environmental influences. But it isn't necessarily a straight line from childhood experience of spanking to eroticization of that spanking.

For me, my lack of internal self-discipline makes me seek out external forces to hold me in line (even while I struggle against them). And my love of the physical sensations has developed in a long relationship with escalating practices. Even though I was attracted to extreme s/m as a young woman, it's taken me a long time to "go there."

I am also sexually excited by violence and the adrenaline it releases. Sometimes I think it's innate hard-wiring; sometimes I think I'm making lemonade out of lemons. I don't consider it one of my best qualities, but working with BDSM and M/s over the years has allowed me to experience or express that quality in myself in "safer" ("healthier"?) ways.
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Old 02-13-2013, 11:57 AM   #22
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Belvino View Post
Anyway, to get to the point... I was curious if anyone believes there is a correlation between spanking, and an interest in the BDSM lifestyle or similar "rough" sex? Also, if you believe so do you think that the newest generations will continue into adulthood engaging in BDSM, or not?
It's impossible for anyone to say that there is a correlation between sexual preferences and the upbringing - because this statement would imply that you can create a gay human.
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Old 02-13-2013, 01:26 PM   #23
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know about Hydrangea flowers, right? You can induce them to flower in different colors, depending on what you add to the soil. Acidic soil gives you blue flowers, alkalyn gives you pink, a narrow band of middle PH gives you cream-colored flowers.

So, you can point to nurture, right?

But-- the thing is, those flowers have the potential to change colors, innate within themselves. You can't change the colors of begonias by feeding them different plant foods, because begonias don't change color.
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Old 11-30-2013, 05:37 PM   #24
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Quote:
Originally Posted by eastern sun View Post
If you want to look for the childhood roots of this behavior, you have to allow for a very complex set of variables that will change from individual to individual and practice to practice.

Like all human behavior, in my opinion, it's a combination of nature and nurture. Genetic predispositions and environmental influences. But it isn't necessarily a straight line from childhood experience of spanking to eroticization of that spanking.

For me, my lack of internal self-discipline makes me seek out external forces to hold me in line (even while I struggle against them). And my love of the physical sensations has developed in a long relationship with escalating practices. Even though I was attracted to extreme s/m as a young woman, it's taken me a long time to "go there."

I am also sexually excited by violence and the adrenaline it releases. Sometimes I think it's innate hard-wiring; sometimes I think I'm making lemonade out of lemons. I don't consider it one of my best qualities, but working with BDSM and M/s over the years has allowed me to experience or express that quality in myself in "safer" ("healthier"?) ways.
Agreed. I would love to say that Freud was right but to develop and prove that there is a correlation between Childhood and BDSM, it would have to account for the vastness of variable change. Psychology can vary from individual to individual and establish patterns or trends in behavior, but no person will experience all the same signs and tendencies as others.

Personally, like the above post states, I think its more of an attraction to the pain/pleasure associated with the violence aspect of it (receiving or giving) and the increase in adrenaline, serotonin, etc etc. As a participant of 'extreme' activities, even in safe environments, there is still that physical addiction to my body's responses that I actively seek out in various activities. Bringing myself to the edge of fear and then proceeding regardless, be that in or our of the bedroom....that's where the allure for BDSM to me originates. But that's just my 5sec opinion with little to no evidence to support my claims other than individual experience.
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Old 12-01-2013, 02:40 AM   #25
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