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Old 02-05-2013, 03:16 PM   #26
WanderingGator
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Welcome and great job with the blog. I too use words to help wrap my arms around my slice of the lifestyle pie... if anything, it makes for great entertainment when I am inspired by tequila and even better fun when I see what I wrote the next morning while recovering with coffee!!!

Keep up the great work.

PM me if you care to discuss your motivations since I am always researching new ways to create story lines and character profiles.

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Old 02-05-2013, 03:39 PM   #27
IrisAlthea
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliajax View Post

So here's a question: Am I really submissive, if it felt very right and natural submitting to my Master, but not to my husband? I love my husband, but he does not have the type of personality that ... inspires submission in me. The thought of kneeling for him, calling him Master or Sir or whatever, of telling him I would do anything to please him. Of really FEELING I would do anything to please him ... it makes me a little sick and panicky.

But I felt all of those things for my Master. I found myself doing things for him or at his command, without a second thought, that I never thought I could do. Or wanted to. I learned so much from and with him. How it didn't matter how I felt about something, I didn't need to feel embarrassment, or self-conscious, it only mattered that I please him.

Exploring this side of myself with him brought into sharper focus all these feeling and urges I had had all my life. I felt I had found myself, something that was missing in my life.

But again, I don't feel like I can submit that freely to my husband. We've talked about it a little bit. He wants to try "be all that I need." But it doesn't come naturally to him. I know we have to talk about it, even though you are right, telling him what to do to me ruins it a little.

But the sex isn't the problem. Is seems my husband has been doing some research of his own because lately he has been surprising me with tricks in the bedroom that he think I will like. And I DO like it. Especially since I don't have to direct him as much as I was afraid I would. Which is great. It's important if we are going to stay together.

But it's the other stuff, the non-sexual side of submitting, that I loved to do for my Master, that I can't do with him. At least not yet. Everything fell apart for me only a few months ago, so I'm still finding my way.

There are lots of reasons, I guess, that I don't feel I can submit to him. We have young kids. (so we could never be 24/7 anyway) I need him to be a partner in parenting, in our household, we need to be a team. As I said before, his personality ... he has always been very passive, he is not naturally a confident person. He is working on this. We have marital issues we are working on. Blah blah wah wah. One of the biggest problems is that, though I love him, I feel no passion for him.

I'm sorry. I'm new. I don't know you guys. I should probably shut up now.

But I will restate my question: Am I submissive if I don't want to submit to my husband? I mean, sure, I COULD ... but it wouldn't be real. It would be play-acting. Am I submissive if I only act that way during sex? Do "real" submissives want to submit to everyone they are in a relationship with?

I'm still trying to "know myself" ... it's not always easy.

behind blue eyes: yes, your scenario #1 is definitely preferable. I'm trying to live more that way, and not in a scenario #2 way, which I was doing for a long time. "My husband doesn't get me" etc. But it's easier said than done. How do you tell your husband of 10 years about needs you don't altogether understand? I was afraid to. He still doesn't understand. I think sometimes he thinks I am faking. He is happy to "try new things" in the bedroom, but has no interest in bringing it outside the bedroom.

No, I don't think you have to feel submissive to everyone or submit to your husband, to call yourself submissive. That's just my opinion though and there are lots of opinions out there. No law though and there will probably be someone who thinks you're not submissive enough and others who think you are on the wrong side of sane, no matter what you do.

If you want to stick together and explore this, I think you have to find out what works for the two of you. It will probably be different from what you would do with someone else and totally different from what any other two or more people would be doing, but does that really matter if it works for you?
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Old 02-05-2013, 04:20 PM   #28
CutieMouse
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Stella_Omega View Post
I want to make this absofuckinglutely clear;

I NEVER CLAIM YOU CAN TEACH ANYONE TO DOMINATE.

I claim that many women do not actually require dominance, they just think they do. Because they have never been encouraged to think about sexual dynamics in any other way but Biology Is Destiny.

I ask that folks examine their assumptions. For many people, examination proves them correct, which is a good thing.

You can (try to) teach someone how to top you. And encourage them to become dominant--- if, in fact you actually really do want to be dominated. Some people only need permission. Some people really don't want that role.
Mea culpa.

12 hour work days + squeezing in a response in less time than it deserved = sloppier verbiage than ideal. However, I do suspect you draw a finer line between the two than myself (with good reason).
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Old 02-05-2013, 05:50 PM   #29
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Originally Posted by CutieMouse View Post
Mea culpa.

12 hour work days + squeezing in a response in less time than it deserved = sloppier verbiage than ideal. However, I do suspect you draw a finer line between the two than myself (with good reason).
And I apologise-- I don't want to hijack this thread!
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Old 02-05-2013, 06:01 PM   #30
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Thank you all so much for you thoughtful responses, especially Stella, Sir Winston and Cutiemouse. I have more about all of this to discuss/work through, if anyone else can stand it. But that will have to wait until later, I'm going out to the movies tonight. Zombie love story, anyone?

Wanderingator -- thanks for reading my blog. I don't really know what I'm doing there, either, I just started it, but it helps, and I am enjoying it so far.

Oh! And Stella, thanks also for reading it. I like your comment. Now that I'm (mostly) over the biting, I like to get bit, too!
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Old 02-11-2013, 07:57 AM   #31
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Biting

Hi Amelia,

I've read your Literotica post and your blog. Like you, I like to bite; however, I am lesbian and want to bite only women. I've been finding and taking women to dominate for the past eight years. Biting them has always been a prime factor, but I do much more than bite.

If you would like to communicate, please PM me, and I'll send you my email address.
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Old 02-11-2013, 10:56 AM   #32
Primalex
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliajax View Post
Ok, now you all say, "Hi Amelia!"

I've been reading this site for years, and have just recently gotten up the nerve to start submitting my stories. I'm looking forward to it, but I'm nervous that no one will read what I'm writing. Or that they will, and they'll hate it.
[...]
Here's the link, if anyone is interested:

http://bloodmoonmemoirs.blogspot.com/
Well, I hate the blog already.

a) It insists to use only 25% of my screen for texts. I don't get paid per line, you don't get paid per line, so why do you insist to wrap the text if there is no need to?

b) Smart people invented something called "serifs" and even smarter people invented fonts for screen / web reading, that make reading longer texts easier, f.e. the Georgia font. But no, you use Arial.

c) A cliffhanger is not automatically inserted where you got tired of writing. You have to create one. "I bet you can't wait." is not a cliffhanger. It's a challenge to prove you wrong.

d) Is there a culture that reads from bottom to top? I know there is right-to-left and left-to-right. So, for which culture do you write if you insist to put part 2 before part 1? Not the one I live in at least. You can't reference things in part 2 that don't make sense if the reader didn't read part 1, if you put part 2 above part 1.

e) Who is your target audience and why would they want to read it? Did you actually think about it?
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Old 02-11-2013, 12:41 PM   #33
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Originally Posted by Primalex View Post
Well, I hate the blog already.

a) It insists to use only 25% of my screen for texts. I don't get paid per line, you don't get paid per line, so why do you insist to wrap the text if there is no need to?

b) Smart people invented something called "serifs" and even smarter people invented fonts for screen / web reading, that make reading longer texts easier, f.e. the Georgia font. But no, you use Arial.

c) A cliffhanger is not automatically inserted where you got tired of writing. You have to create one. "I bet you can't wait." is not a cliffhanger. It's a challenge to prove you wrong.

d) Is there a culture that reads from bottom to top? I know there is right-to-left and left-to-right. So, for which culture do you write if you insist to put part 2 before part 1? Not the one I live in at least. You can't reference things in part 2 that don't make sense if the reader didn't read part 1, if you put part 2 above part 1.

e) Who is your target audience and why would they want to read it? Did you actually think about it?



Primalex, thank you for your ... um ... constructive criticism?

I am not a professional blogger. I don't know what the "rules" are. Or for web writing. So, let me address your ... concerns.

a) I have no idea what you are talking about. When I look at the blog I can read it just fine and I don't see lines wrapping when they don't need to.

b) I grew up in advertising and I learned to hate serifs. Also, I'm not using Arial I'm using Helvetica. If it's coming up Arial on your screen maybe that's a problem on your end. What's so great about Georgia? Besides peaches and pecans, of course.

c) I don't get tired of writing. I have a life and kids and responsibilities. And anyway, it's my story, I can end a post when I want to. I'm not really trying to create "cliffhangers."

d) I don't know if I have control over what order the posts appear in. I'm new at this. As far as I can tell, the most recent post appears at the top. That's normal for blogs, isn't it?

e) My target audience is me. I'm writing for myself. If anyone else wants to read it, great. I'd love it if people did. But in the end, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I'm doing it to get paid.

If you hate it, move on and don't read any more of it.

And if you really thought any of your comments were helpful, you are a whack job.
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Old 02-11-2013, 01:49 PM   #34
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Amelia, I too went to your blog and enjoyed it. Most of the issues that Primalex was complaining about are built into the blog form, as you well know. For this and several other reasons, you can safely ignore much of what he has to say here.

You seem to have private messaging turned off. Is that intentional?
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Old 02-11-2013, 01:58 PM   #35
Primalex
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ameliajax View Post
a) I have no idea what you are talking about. When I look at the blog I can read it just fine and I don't see lines wrapping when they don't need to.
Of course it looks fine to you, you wouldn't make a crappy blog, would you? The question is, how it looks somewhere else. I could make a screenshot to explain the problem, but why bother, as you don't care anyway.

Quote:
b) I grew up in advertising and I learned to hate serifs. Also, I'm not using Arial I'm using Helvetica. If it's coming up Arial on your screen maybe that's a problem on your end. What's so great about Georgia? Besides peaches and pecans, of course.
I already told you - it was specifically designed for long text on computer screens. The font contains addtional information so it scales well with average screen resolutions of 72dpi, the uppercase characters were lightened, the x-height was increased, the ascenders rise above the cap height, and the numerals have been evened out and made slightly non-aligning. That's so great about it. And that's why f.e. the New York Times use it. But hey, you didn't really want to know the details, right?

I guess, considering that you "grew up in advertising", I must be relieved that you didn't use Comic Sans all over the place.

Quote:
I'm not really trying to create "cliffhangers."
I know, that's what I said.


Quote:
d) I don't know if I have control over what order the posts appear in. I'm new at this. As far as I can tell, the most recent post appears at the top. That's normal for blogs, isn't it?
Yes, it is "normal" - as blogs started as chronological log (and usually still are). This is not the way you post though. So either the sorting is wrong or the way you post. You can pick the option you prefer (I know, you'll try something like "I pick option c) I don't care" now. But really, this doesn't change facts.)

Quote:
e) My target audience is me. I'm writing for myself.
Notepad would be sufficient for this. So you are a liar if you go through all the hassle just for yourself.

This is like women telling me that they would wear makeup and revealing clothes just for them, so they feel beautiful and it's not about anyone else (and especially not about guys). Then you ask them:"Oh cool. When was the last time you spent 2 hours to look beautiful just for yourself for an evening in front of the TV all alone? Never? Weird." Hypocrites hate logic.

Quote:
If you hate it, move on and don't read any more of it.
That was my intention already.

Quote:
And if you really thought any of your comments were helpful, you are a whack job.
Now it is my fault that you don't know what you are doing and that you are not willing to improve what you are doing? Fascinating.
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Old 02-11-2013, 02:06 PM   #36
Primalex
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Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
Amelia, I too went to your blog and enjoyed it. Most of the issues that Primalex was complaining about are built into the blog form, as you well know. For this and several other reasons, you can safely ignore much of what he has to say here.
It must have been difficult to find a wording that says that I'm right, but without making it look like you said that I'm right. Are you just scared to say that I'm right or do you try to get into some pants? I think I would prefer the latter case. Nobody should be scared to say the truth.

And...as far as I can tell, you can safely ignore everyone here. This is not a hazmat training.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:15 PM   #37
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Just for the record, Primalex, I have no problem with you being right about any of this. I like constructive criticism. However, your aggressive and sarcastic post is very off-putting. If you hate the blog, and plan to never read it again, why even bother coming here and telling me how much you hate it and why?

Do you just get off on being rude? Everyone has to get off on something, I suppose.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:17 PM   #38
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Originally Posted by midwestyankee View Post
Amelia, I too went to your blog and enjoyed it. Most of the issues that Primalex was complaining about are built into the blog form, as you well know. For this and several other reasons, you can safely ignore much of what he has to say here.

You seem to have private messaging turned off. Is that intentional?

I don't have private messaging turned off on purpose. I'll look into that. Thanks!
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:36 PM   #39
Primalex
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Do you just get off on being rude?

Yes.

It's a much healthier bad habit than smoking.
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Old 02-11-2013, 03:59 PM   #40
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Yes.

It's a much healthier bad habit than smoking.
And anyone who doesn't want to smell your secondhand smoke can put you on ignore-- so it's better for everyone's health.
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Old 02-11-2013, 05:26 PM   #41
Primalex
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And anyone who doesn't want to smell your secondhand smoke can put you on ignore-- so it's better for everyone's health.
Perhaps a lunatic is simply a minority of one.
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