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02-08-2013, 11:10 PM
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#26
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Really Really Experienced
Thevirginwriter is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Nomad
Posts: 302
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wow!
looks like some pretty charming guys with great pick-up lines are out there, shame I never met one!
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02-08-2013, 11:19 PM
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#27
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Hold your licker
cliteatingman is offline
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 21,921
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One I have wanted to try but never had the nerve
You're face is gorgeous! It would be even more beautiful with my cum all over it!
__________________
I LOVE thee not for sacred chastity.
Who loves for that? nor for thy sprightly wit:
I love thee not for thy sweet modesty,
Which makes thee in perfection's throne to sit.
I love thee not for thy enchanting eye,
Thy beauty, ravishing perfection:
I love thee not for that my soul doth dance,
And leap with pleasure when those lips of thine,
Give musical and graceful utterance,
To some (by thee made happy) poet's line.
I love thee not for voice or slender small,
But wilt thou know wherefore? Fair sweet, for all...
'Faith, wench! I cannot court thy sprightly eyes,
With the base viol placed between my thighs:
I cannot lisp, nor to some fiddle sing,
Nor run upon a high stretching minikin...
Not I, by cock! but I shall tell thee roundly,
Hark in thine ear, zounds I can **** thee soundly.
Christopher Marlowe
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02-09-2013, 02:33 AM
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#28
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Experienced
anal_xplorer is offline
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: ok tulsa
Posts: 47
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I dont think my phones working can you call it just to make sure.
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02-09-2013, 03:58 AM
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#29
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Really Really Experienced
Thevirginwriter is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Nomad
Posts: 302
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That's clever...
Quote:
Originally Posted by anal_xplorer
I dont think my phones working can you call it just to make sure.
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I think in most cases the girl wouldn't even realize it was a trick to get her number. |
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02-09-2013, 04:07 AM
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#30
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Really Experienced
Anthony87Sexy is offline
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Where ever I get sent to.
Posts: 147
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"I love your tattoo, I would love to see them all!"
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02-09-2013, 01:16 PM
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#31
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Literotica Guru
AllenWmsUSA is offline
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!
Posts: 808
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Me: "Know what would look good on you?"
Her: "What?"
Me: "Me."
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02-09-2013, 04:18 PM
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#32
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Really Really Experienced
Thevirginwriter is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Nomad
Posts: 302
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Lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by AllenWmsUSA
Me: "Know what would look good on you?"
Her: "What?"
Me: "Me."
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good one! Seriously! |
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02-09-2013, 06:46 PM
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#33
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Experienced
asfucwit is offline
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: here & there (mostly here)
Posts: 54
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"Hey mate, I'll suck your cock for £30 quid" ($47.388 at todays ex rate)
"thanks but no.. hey Wait up, erm how about me sucking yours for free"
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02-11-2013, 08:45 PM
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#34
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Virgin
Lilivonschtupp666 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10
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The only one that ever worked on me was this one. Let me set the table. I was in a fantastic seedy bar in Nashville. I was drinking. My friends were on the left. The man who looked like the hottest biker ever was standing to my right when I turned around. He said "bartender, I'd like my usual and another one for the lady". Then he turns his head to blow out some smoke, looks back and says "if I look a little rough it's because I am". My friends heard it and started gathering up my purse for me. I spent three days in a Motel Six and didn't mind a bit. Guys- don't try this at home. You have gotta kind of have that swagger without being a douche. But when it works, well lets just say he did not lie. I still get a little flushed thinking about it and it was 17 years ago. You're welcome
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02-11-2013, 08:58 PM
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#35
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Experienced
NightSlut is offline
Join Date: May 2012
Location: The Great White North
Posts: 31
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I don't think I've ever used a pick up line other than offering to buy a guy a drink but I'll willing to bet one of the WORST ones here was used on me.
Picture it... About 15 years ago and online dating was still considered a little nuts.
I met this guy at a Village Inn parking lot and got into his car to go to a nicer place. So we're casually chatting on one of the busiest and slowest streets in Grand Rapids, MI and this numbnut says, "I could kill you right now and no one would know."
Way to make the woman feel safe. 
I got out of the car at the next light and ran back to my car. For a YEAR, he kept messaging me that it was just a joke and it probably was but I wasn't going to take the chance!! Idiot. |
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02-11-2013, 09:27 PM
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#36
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Really Experienced
LuvStrange69 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Snowbird Land
Posts: 272
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"Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi"
Actually, it was used by a woman to pick me up.
She whispered it in my ear and then said figure out what it meant and we'll see what happens. Total backfire, as my Ex-girlfriend (French-Canadian) was also in the club that night. I said "Voulez-Vous Coucher Avec Moi" to her and was immediately rebuked. I then simply asked her what it meant and she told me.
The rest, they say is history.
__________________
"It is not enough to conquer; one must also know how to seduce"
- Voltaire -
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02-11-2013, 10:38 PM
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#37
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Virgin
Lilivonschtupp666 is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 10
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NightSlut
I don't think I've ever used a pick up line other than offering to buy a guy a drink but I'll willing to bet one of the WORST ones here was used on me.
Picture it... About 15 years ago and online dating was still considered a little nuts.
I met this guy at a Village Inn parking lot and got into his car to go to a nicer place. So we're casually chatting on one of the busiest and slowest streets in Grand Rapids, MI and this numbnut says, "I could kill you right now and no one would know."
Way to make the woman feel safe.
I got out of the car at the next light and ran back to my car. For a YEAR, he kept messaging me that it was just a joke and it probably was but I wasn't going to take the chance!! Idiot. |
That's terrible. You did the right thing by running. The biggest mistakes I've ever made are when I don't listen to that little voice that says "flea!". He proved you right by calling for a year. Sidebar- Village Inn makes me laugh. Always near a La Quinta..funny. |
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03-13-2013, 07:25 AM
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#38
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Really Really Experienced
Thevirginwriter is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Nomad
Posts: 302
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Craziest, indeed!
Do people always come up with such crazy lines or is it just my mates in Lit here?  |
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03-13-2013, 08:51 AM
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#39
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Literotica Guru
yossariankat is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: US
Posts: 846
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Not one that's ever been used on or by me, but my favorite and one that would probably be most guaranteed to work on me:
__________________
“Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.”
-Scout
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03-13-2013, 09:36 AM
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#40
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Literotica Guru
PrurientProf is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: North of the Rio Grande, South of the North Pole
Posts: 1,562
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Yes, but would he then have to return you in 3 weeks in approximately the same condition in which he found you?
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03-13-2013, 09:56 AM
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#41
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Literotica Guru
yossariankat is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: US
Posts: 846
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PrurientProf
Yes, but would he then have to return you in 3 weeks in approximately the same condition in which he found you?
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I think if a man had me for three weeks I had better not be returned in the same condition in which I was found.
__________________
“Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.”
-Scout
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03-13-2013, 10:12 AM
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#42
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You Filthy Cogitator! :p
PenforPrez is offline
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Maryland--The Old Line State. I don't have a dirty joke for that one yet.
Posts: 1,161
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yossariankat
Not one that's ever been used on or by me, but my favorite and one that would probably be most guaranteed to work on me:
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This reminds me of a really bad pickup line I heard recently. A friend of mine is a high school teacher, and he recently overheard a BAD pickup line used by a student in a hallway:
"Are you a beaver? Because DAM!"
__________________
"You don't know who to believe anymore. They say, 'Love thy neighbor as thyself.' What am I supposed to do--jerk him off too?!" -- Rodney Dangerfield
I finally finished a story. Yay! Please read and vote on it:
http://www.literotica.com/stories/sh....php?id=487343
Thank you! 
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03-13-2013, 11:49 AM
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#43
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Literotica Guru
PrurientProf is offline
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: North of the Rio Grande, South of the North Pole
Posts: 1,562
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Quote:
Originally Posted by yossariankat
I think if a man had me for three weeks I had better not be returned in the same condition in which I was found.
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True...library books should be used gently...I'm sure you're up for a little more wear and tear, and perhaps inflicting some marks on the borrower as well. |
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03-13-2013, 11:56 AM
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#44
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Literotica Guru
yossariankat is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: US
Posts: 846
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PenforPrez
This reminds me of a really bad pickup line I heard recently. A friend of mine is a high school teacher, and he recently overheard a BAD pickup line used by a student in a hallway:
"Are you a beaver? Because DAM!" |
One of my favorites is also groan-worthy.
"You with all those curves, and me with no brakes."
But it makes me laugh.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PrurientProf
True...library books should be used gently...I'm sure you're up for a little more wear and tear, and perhaps inflicting some marks on the borrower as well.
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__________________
“Until I feared I would lose it, I never loved to read. One does not love breathing.”
-Scout
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03-13-2013, 01:14 PM
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#45
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Literotica Guru
southern_gal is offline
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: The Gulf Coast
Posts: 879
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I feel left out. I have never used a pick up line and it has been so long since I last heard one that I might not even recognize a real attempt at picking me up.
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03-13-2013, 03:16 PM
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#46
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Really Really Experienced
Thevirginwriter is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Nomad
Posts: 302
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Hehe
Quote:
Originally Posted by yossariankat
One of my favorites is also groan-worthy.
"You with all those curves, and me with no brakes."
But it makes me laugh.
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that IS cheeky. I bet it works! |
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03-13-2013, 03:18 PM
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#47
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Literotica Guru
jmarx20102012 is offline
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Tampa
Posts: 2,295
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I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.
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03-13-2013, 03:21 PM
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#48
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deceitfully innocent
NaughtyRedSiren is offline
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: The Hoosier State!
Posts: 3,429
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Quote:
Originally Posted by anal_xplorer
I dont think my phones working can you call it just to make sure.
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hahaha... one of the best ones I've heard!
__________________
"I like my coffee like my men- strong and keeps me up all night!" 
"You can sleep with a blond, you can sleep with a brunette, but you will NEVER get any sleep with a red head!"
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03-13-2013, 03:39 PM
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#49
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Virgin
tnwriter is offline
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 6
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Pick-up line
Do you come here often? Or usually at home?
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03-14-2013, 10:54 AM
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#50
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Really Really Experienced
Thevirginwriter is offline
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Nomad
Posts: 302
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Lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmarx20102012
I once told a woman I was Kevin Costner, and it worked because I believed it.
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and that's what I call incredulous line! |
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